I went through the portal and that time, I didn't stumble. My mom held me upright as though I was a fragile object that couldn't be dropped. With every breath that I took, I could feel an ache in my chest. Every time I opened and closed my hand I could feel a stinging sensation. I closed my eyes for a minute, letting the slight vertigo go away from portaling back, before I walked through the library and out of the door. My mom was quick on my heels, but I was looking for Jace.
Finally, I found him in the main hallway. Beside him was Alec, Isabelle, Maryse, and Brother Zachariah. I saw his head move to face me, and then he turned and left the Institute. Jace shifted his gaze, seeming to brighten up at the sight of me. I couldn't help but smile.
But he didn't return it. He started toward me and I sped up to reach him sooner. Once we were in touching distance, he pulled me into a tight hug. I let out a painful noise and he immediately let go. He seemed to realize, "What did the Iron Sisters do?" He asked me. He looked at my mom, "How did it go?"
"I'm officially divorced." It sounded weird coming off of my tongue. I pulled my shirt down slightly to show the long slice going down my chest, right over the rune. It was severed, and already it was beginning to fade. The same for my hand.
"That looks like it hurts," Jace said, concern in his voice. He pulled out his stele, "Let me heal you-"
"No. She said to just wait a little bit, for it to fade." I cut him off quickly. I looked into his eyes, and only then did I notice that something was off, "Why was brother Zachariah here?"
"The Clave is sending more Shadow Hunters," he told me, "The other ones weren't... fit for the job." One glance at Maryse, Alec and Isabelle and I knew that he was hiding something.
"Is that all?" I inquired, and he looked away for a moment before his gaze returned to me.
"That's all," he said, his voice quiet, "Come on, let's get you in bed. You should at least rest a little bit. It's been a long day."
"She can come home with me," my mother spoke. I turned towards her, furrowing my eyebrows, "If you'd like."
"I think I feel safe here, under the Clave's protection." I told her and she gave a small nod, "You should, too."
She looked as if she were in thought for a moment. Looking at her, I could see a few thin wrinkles scattered on her face. They were barely noticeable unless you were looking closely.
"I think I'm going to go stay with Luke for a little while," she responded, her voice soft. I know that she wanted me to stay with her, but the safest option for the both of us was me being here with the Clave's protection. And her, away from me. I forced a smile, nodding, "Alright baby. I'll text you, okay? Keep in touch."
"Of course," I whispered. When she'd hugged me and walked away, I turned to Jace, "What happened?"
"What are you talking about?" He asked, feigning confusion. I blinked at him, waiting. After a few moments he sighed, "Sebastian came. When he left, we went to tell others and we found Clave Shadow Hunters dead."
"How many?" I asked, my eyes wide. He gave me a look that I couldn't recognize.
"All of them." He told me. I felt like my blood was turning cold and I averted my gaze, "He came through a projection, like Valentine did that once. We couldn't touch him—that I knew of—but he could touch everything here."
Alec made eye contact with me, and he and Isabelle walked over, "They're bringing more here," Alec told me, "But they're figuring out a plan to get rid of Sebastian."
"Get rid of?" I asked, and his pale blue eyes met my green ones again.
"Kill." Jace's voice was sharp, and I saw that he was looking at me. Almost like he was waiting for something to happen.
"Good," I responded, and his gaze softened on me. He seemed relieved.
When I looked at Alec and Isabelle I saw that they were looking at me the same way, "What?" I asked.
Alec cleared his throat, and Isabelle looked away. I found myself looking at Jace, "Nothing." He told me. I narrowed my eyes at him.
"Why were you waiting for my reaction, then?" I could've been wrong; I hoped I was. But a part of me felt like they didn't trust me to want him gone. They looked uneasily at each other, and just as Jace's mouth opened I shook my head, "Nevermind." I turned on my heel and walked away. If they didn't trust me, I didn't want to trust them.
I walked into my old room, locking the door behind me. I went to lie on my bed, facing the ceiling. I didn't want to be bothered, but a part of me was scared. I knew that Sebastian was lurking, seemingly in the shadows. My gaze flickered to the closet and I felt a sense of fear creeping up on me. I took a deep breath, rolling onto my stomach and resting my head on the pillow. I ignored the pain from the slice in my chest.
I heard a knock on the door but I ignored it. I heard the handle move, and then someone opening the door. I let out a groan, silently cursing opening runes. I turned away from the door, not caring who it was. I wanted to be alone.
"Clary?" I heard Isabelle's voice and I stayed silent, "Clary, I know you're awake. And I never comfort people, but here I am so talk to me."
I sat up, turning my body to face her, "You all clearly don't trust me." I said, my voice steady. A part of me wanted to cry, but I held it back, "If you don't think that I hate Sebastian as much as you all do, if not more, then I really don't know what to tell you."
"Look, I'll tell you since no one else will." She pushed her hair off of her shoulders and to her back, sitting on the bed and looking at me. I noticed that she wasn't wearing any makeup, save a small amount of mascara. She took a deep breath, "When Sebastian came, he left a book on Hodge's desk. It was about binding, so Jace thought that he might have used a binding rune on you."
"And so he doesn't trust me when I say that he didn't?" I ask, tilting my head.
"How do you know that he didn't?" She responded. I looked at her, unsure of what to say, "And Jace, when he had it, appeared to be normal. He looked like himself."
"I'd know." I said, my voice soft. But I was questioning even myself. I looked away from her, "I don't see why he couldn't just tell me."
"He didn't want to put the same pressure on you that was on him," Isabelle's voice was soft, "To turn yourself in, or hurt yourself if it meant hurting Sebastian."
"Oh." Was all that I said. She stood up, "Come on, go talk to Jace. He's worried."
"Fine." I murmured, standing up. I walked out after her, into the hall. I was surprised to see that Jace waiting right beside my door. Isabelle gave me a wave and walked away, leaving me alone with Jace.
"Clary," he breathed, pulling me into him. I brought my arms up to hug him, but I still felt strange. Even though his concern was justified, I still felt as though he was faulting me in someway. But if I wasn't bound to him, what would explain me kissing him? The marriage runes, maybe, but Jace didn't seem to think that would have caused it.
"What did Sebastian say when he came?" I asked, pulling away. He looked down at me, seeming hesitant. He took a few strands of my hair between his fingers, playing with it gently.
"He talked about what you did with him," he responded, his voice low. I felt my heart sink, "Told me that you begged him for more."
"That isn't true," A wave of anger courses through me, "He lies, Jace. You know that."
"I know," He tucked the few strands behind my ear, looking into my eyes, "I know."
"Then why would you believe him?" I shook my head, confused.
"Because it might not have been you doing it-"
"Jace," I took a moment, "Isabelle told me your theory. I can't be bound to him. I have a gash in my chest and on my hand, you surely would've been able to see something on him when he came."
"And he would've most likely used an iratze already," Jace murmured, thinking, "If not to protect himself, to protect you. But maybe he knows that we think-"
"Or maybe he left that book on the desk to stir up trouble." I told him.
"Maybe." He sighed, "Either way, we'll figure this out. We can get you two unlinked if you are. We'll figure this out."
I nodded, looking up at him. I knew what I would do if we were linked. I knew that I was willing to die for this, if it meant Sebastian being gone for good. But I didn't have the heart to tell Jace, so instead I just stood on my toes and kissed him.