Needless to say, my arrival had created a hectic situation in the house. People everywhere were thanking the gods I was alive, but they were also trying to baby me. Now, that, I hated. Mrs. Weasley had already asked if I needed to have some time to myself, but I had to politely tell her I was done sulking and I wanted to be back to my usual self. It was hard.
As for the explanations, I had to wait a while before I got them. It wasn't until dinner that I was able to hear the numerous past events and plans of attack.
"Wait, you're not bad?" I asked Sirius Black. He looked down.
"I was framed for a crime I did not commit. I would never betray Lily and James Potter. I would rather kill myself." He said, wringing his tattooed hands together. Surprisingly, I believed him. I could hear his regret and pain in his voice, and I knew he must really not have done whatever he was framed for, or else he wouldn't be here. And after what had happened to me, I was slightly expecting the same reaction from others after being controlled and bad. I understood the feeling.
"Oh, okay. I understand. Sorry for asking," I said, looking at the young man sitting by me. But I wasn't done. "Just a few more questions."
"Go right ahead dear. You deserve to know," Mrs. Weasley said, looking at me sadly. I tried to ignore the pity.
"What happened after I was taken? Why are we here? What happened to everybody?" I questioned. Sirius sighed.
"Harry, you should tell her," He said, looking at Harry who was sat directed across from me. The others in the room were silent. Harry looked at me.
"After I left, I begged someone to go back and find you. I hated myself for leaving you. Nobody listened to me, they were too worried and shocked about Cedric. Moody-well Barty Crouch Jr-" Harry started, but I stopped him.
"What, Barty Crouch?" I asked, looking at the man who was standing in the back of the room. I had recognized him from my classes, but Harry's words were confusing my head.
"You see girl, the Moody you knew wasn't really me. Barty Crouch Jr was taking a polyjuice potion and pretending to be me to capture Harry. He was the one who put his name in the goblet and rigged the cup to take him to the graveyard. He was also the one to force you to leave the stadium." Moody said gruffly. I expected to feel my jaw drop in surprise, but my inner ball of anger tightened. He had caused all of this.
"Where is he now?" I spat, my mind switching from normal to angry.
"Locked up in Azkaban."
"Good," I breathed, and then turned back to Harry. "Continue."
"Yeah, anyways, after we found out he was Barty Crouch he was locked away it was only then that McGonagall spoke to me about what had happened. It was so hard to form words. I couldn't accept the fact that you were gone. McGonagall sent out tons of Aurors and School personnel to look for you, but they only found your shoe. They said they found signs of struggle and guess that you had been tortured to death. They tried to find you, but they couldn't trace anything to anywhere." Harry said sadly. My mind whirred. They had gone three months thinking I was gone to the world.
"Oh," was all I said. Sirius took up the story.
"Anyways, because Harry has told us the story, Voldemort's return and all that, we've rebooted the Order of the Phoenix. That's why we are here. Its headquarters, and my family home. We are trying to recruit people who believe Harry's claims," He explained. I lookd at him with wide eyes.
"Wait, nobody believes that Voldemort's back?" I gasped. Harry nodded sadly.
"I've been a target in the papers for weeks," he said quietly. I growled softly to myself. The others in the room were still silent.
"Why wouldn't they believe you?" I asked finally. Remus took up the story.
"Fudge, the Minister, thinks Dumbledore is trying to take over the Ministry by making everyone fear him," he said. I took a deep breath, trying to keep my growing anger inside me. It was no fair that Harry was being discriminated against because he was telling the truth. Somebody had to pay.
"They refuse to believe Voldemort's back because they can only prove that a young girl was the new threat, not an old enemy," Moody said. My heart froze. Did they know that was me? I looked at Harry and asked him the silent question. He shook his head slightly. I knew that Remus knew, I had told him, but the others still thought there was an unknown threat out there. I looked at him, and he gave me a small nod. You can tell them.
"Um, about that," I started. I took a shaky breath. I locked eyes with Hermione, who I knew would take this the hardest. I had killed muggles, it had said so in the papers. I hope this wouldn't ruin our friendship.
"That was me."
Silence. Shit. I tried to quench the overwhelming fear filling me and shoved it back down into my heart. I would not back down from the truth.
Everyone's head turned towards me.
"What did you say?" Sirius asked. My heart was still ice.
"Please, listen. I had no control over myself. He was controlling me. I couldn't do anything but watch. But that was me. Look," I said, standing over and walking to a pile of papers that was sitting on the kitchen counter. One of the articles was dated from a few weeks ago and featured a picture of a girl swarming through a courtyard with blackness trailing her. My blood sang with an uncomfortable memory.
"Its me, look, that's my scar." I said softly, showing the others the paper and pointing to the girl's scar. I lifted my finger to the thin scar that ran down my own face as I watched the other's faces contort into those of fear. I couldn't bring myself to look at Hermione.
"I didn't want to, not at all. I tried, goddammit I tried so hard to stop myself, but I couldn't," I said, sitting down again and keeping my gaze on the table. Sirius was the first to talk.
"It's not your fault Saige. You had no control," he said. I mentally thanked him for understanding.
"I'm sorry. I'm a monster," I said sadly, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in my chest.
"Don't apologize Saige. This is actually good. Now Voldemort doesn't have his weapon, and we do," Sirius said, trying to lift the mood. The others perked up. I thanked him. "But, we do have some more information, information that I think both of you," Sirirus looked at Harry and me, "should know."
"Sirius! No. They are too young! You tell them and they might as well join the order." Mrs. Weasley shrieked, coming up behind Harry and trying to cover his ears. Harry flinched.
"They need to know," Sirius said darkly. Mrs. Weasley yelped.
"No they don't! Actually, all out you, time for bed!" She cried, receiving multiple cries of protest. After a quick shouting fest between all of the redheads, Fred, George, Ron, and Ginny were sent from the room. Mrs. Weasley turned to Hermione, Harry and I. "My apologies, but you guys should get some rest," She said. Hermione and Harry nodded obediently, but I shook my head. I waited until the left the room to tell.
"Molly, I understand your worry, but I need to know. Whatever it is you guys know, I want to hear. I want to fight. I will not sit back and watch while adults fight for me. I want to join the order." I said defiantly. Mrs. Weasley cringed, but after a moment of silence nodded and left the room. I released a breath I hadn't realized I was holding.
"Tell me everything."
After I was done being told the plans of the Order and what had happened to Harry, at which I had to stop myself from punching a wall, I was sitting at the table with Remus and Sirius. The others had either left or gone to bed. I couldn't sleep. Gazzy was still asleep on the couch, thank god, but I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep a wink.
"So all that stuff in the papers, that was all you?" Sirius finally asked. I bit my lip.
"Yeah."
"That's insane actually. Your magic, its so powerful- I heard you had the purple heart wood wand, but you are never holding it in the pictures. It almost looks-"
"Like my magic is coming from my hands." I said, cutting Sirius off. I held up my still bandaged hands and gingerly unwrapped them. While I was telling everyone my story, I hadn't said much about my magic. I just tried to dub down everything, but I needed some adults to know.
"What?" Sirius asked, looking at my raw and scraped up hands as I held them up. The small strips of magic pulsed like a heartbeat underneath my skin. "That's wicked," he breathed. I gave him a small smile.
"It is nice to not have to worry about a wand anymore. And I can do any spell. I just have to think it," I said softly, wondering if they were healed enough to try a small spell. I shut my eyes and started to pull the shadows from the room. Controlling shadows and fire had become my bread and butter. They were the easiest and most deadly in combat.
I opened my eyes to see Sirius gaping at the tendrils of darkness that billowed around my head harmlessly. I dropped my magic to allow the shadows to slither back to their original places, but I did feel more out of breath than I used to. I would have to retrain myself.
"That's-that's amazing," Sirius breathed. I smiled softly.
"Yeah, I guess so," I said, wondering if I could finally do something good with the powers I had. The small ball of anger flared with the possibility of getting the revenge I deserved.
I was ready to fight, and this time, on the right side.