( SEASON TWO )
Jared, Jensen & Nina are at the door of someone's house. Dean is wearing fake teeth.
Jared: Evan Hudson?
Evan: Yes?
Jensen: Hey man, have you been to a bar called Lloyd's? It would have been about two years ago.
Jared and Nina look over and laugh
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Ash: Sam. Dean. Sam and Dean.
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Jensen and Jared are fighting on top of the bed and Nina is trying to break them apart
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Offset: And, action!
Jared, Jensen and Nina are going down a cellar when all of a sudden water is poured over them.
Jared: Son of a bitch
Jensen: Better wake up in the morning!
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Jared: You told the pasian about the homicidal phantom clown?
Jensen: Apocalistic, apoc-apoc-apoc-what is it, apocalyptic clown?
Nina: What does that even mean?
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Jensen: Evil clown apocalypse, thank you.
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Jensen: Hey that's great
Jared: Hey that's a great idea, no shit Sherlock
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Jared farts then laughs. Jensen and Nina join in.
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Nina: He's, he's, he's too busy relieving himself.
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Jared farts again
Jensen: Oh my god!
Jared: God it's still in here
Nina: My eyes are watery
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Jared continues farting
Nina: You're so disgusting!
Jensen: Oh, you want a match? Somebody light a match. No, no, no don't, it'll explode
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Jared is still farting...Jensen makes gagging noises.
Jensen: I'm gonna throw up
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Jensen: I can't do it! It stinks in here!
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Jared: Ah, this isn't going so well
People laugh in the background
Jensen: Cut, print...*gibberish*
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Ava screams
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Jared is playing with his stomach and Jensen walks by to smack it
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Jensen is wearing a girly wig
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Ava screams again
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Offset: B Mark
Jared looks at the screen and makes funny faces.
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A little girl smiles at the camera
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Jensen burps and Jared laughs.
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Jensen and Jared are at a graveyard in front of a tombstone. Jared shakes his butt in front of the camera.
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Ava screams one last time
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Jensen: Cro-cro Croa-Croatian?
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At the graveyard scene, Jared uses a tool to hit the ground and splits his pants.
Jared: I just ripped my pants!
Jensen laughs
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Ava looks sheepishly into the camera
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Jensen: Crawfish? Cro-cro what is-
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Jared is running away from the camera, holding the butt of his pants that are now split.
Jared: I don't...
Jensen is laughing hysterically in he background
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Jensen makes a fart noise. He hits Jared and they start play fighting
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Jo screams into the phone at her ear. Then she coughs.
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Jared is checking the hole in his jeans
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Jensen: Dude, figured you're more her type, she's got pretty crappy...
Jared: You suck
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Jared and Nina are making out and he pushes her against the wall. Her head hits it hard.
Nina: Ow!
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Jared, Nina and Jensen are eating pizza when some of it falls into Nina's top. She reaches for it, but can't get it.
Nina: I'm so sorry
Jared: I got it
He tries to reach into her top, but she smacks his hand away.
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They eat their pizza and just start laughing for no reason
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Jared: Ligament
Jensen and Jared laugh.
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Jared: There's a ligament
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Jared starts laughing again
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Jensen and Nina are randomly dancing waltz in front of the camera.
Jensen: Are we ready for Dancing With the Stars yet?
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A little girl appears on screen with a set of long claws. She hisses
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Jared and Jensen pop up out of a dig up grave simultaneously. One goes down, the other goes up.
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Offset: Cuuuuut!
A little girl is messing around
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Jensen wears a thong on his head
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Offset: B Mark
Jensen smiles creepily into the camera with wide eyes.
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Jensen, Jared and Nina walk into a bar.
Jensen: How's it goin'?
Bartender: Livin' tee dream. What can I get for ya?
Jensen: Two beers and one margarita for the lady please
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Jensen: Two pita brusheers please
The bartender shakes up their drinks. Jared tries not to smile.
Jared: So uh...
Offset: Cuuut
They all laugh
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Nina licks her finger and sticks it inside Jared's ear.
Jared: Did you just give me a wet willy?
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Tara screams lamely into the camera. She clears her throat.
McG: Cut! What the hell was that?
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Jared impersonates Jensen in the camera.
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Jared wears a thong in his head
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Jensen, Jared and Nina are looking at some ectoplasm
Jared: Holy crap
Jensen reaches for the goo and looks at it. Jared looks at him and hey laugh
Jensen: That's ectoplasm.
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People talk down the hallway and Jensen, Nina and Jared move close to the wall. Jared makes the mistake of moving too far
Offset: Fixed up real nice, all the uh...
Jensen and Nina laugh as Jared goes into the room
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Jared: I've had it up to here with you!
Jensen: Yeah right back at cha!
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Jared: Firm conclusion
Jensen is messing with the guns and accidentally breaks it.
Jared: Every time you mess up I have to stand up and sit back down
Jensen: Oh I'm sorry
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Jared reaches for his money clip and Jensen pulls it away.
Nina: Guys you're being immature
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Jared: My legs are tired
Jensen: I'm so sorry
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Jared tackles Jensen onto the bed
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Jensen: You wanna play with the guns and have a thousand props to do while you say your lines?
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Jensen: Get off me!
Jared: Give it back!
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Jensen tries to fix his gun as he steadily looks at the camera. Jared and Nina also turn around.
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Jared shrugs at the camera
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Jensen: Kick your ass!
They fall into be floor
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Jensen: I broke it
Offset: Cut
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Jensen: Why don't you try opening your beer bottle?
Jared: I don't until after I say no heads
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Jensen: No hearts?
Jared: No hearts.
Jared tries to open his bottle and fails.
Jared: None
Jared laughs.
Jensen: So ever
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Jensen comes out of Tara's trailer and falls.
Tara: You okay?
Offset: You okay?
Jensen: Like a cat. I always end up on all fours
Tara: You're one hell of a P.A.
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Jared: Elena, I love you
Nina walks away and Sam starts laughing.
Offset: Cut
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Jared: I. Love. You. Elena
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Jared is still laughing
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Jared: No more old jokes. *smooches at Nina*
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He's laughing again
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Someone cusses in the background. They all laugh
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McG: That's what I'm talking about!
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A little girl forgets her lines.
Girl: Sorry
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Ellen and Jared laugh
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Jensen and Jared are playing Rock Paper Scissors. Jared beats him.
Jared: Ah Dean. Always with the scissors.
Jensen: Shut up. Two out of three
Jared: What?
Jensen stares at him waiting and Jared sighs. They play again and Jensen loses...again.
Jensen: We're supposed to be doing version one man
Jared: You just said do version two!
Jensen: No, no.
Jared: What's version one?!
Jensen: SILENCE!
Jared: We just did version one.
Jensen: Yeah but I didn't get the line in which means we gotta do version one again.
Jared: What's the line?
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Jared laughs into the camera as Jensen loses and makes faces.
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Jared laughs and walks away from the camera
Jared: What is that noise?!
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Jensen, Nina, Jared and Madison all look out the window. Jensen laughs.
Jared: The suns not up yet
Jensen: The Suns not up
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Jared and Jensen are in front of a window that's locked.
Offset: Rolling!
Jared: I can not open it! I can not open it! I can not open it.
Offset: *laughing* Were rolling! Frame!
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Jensen and Jared are going down stairs.
Jensen: How am I supposed to get to my mark first if you get in first?
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Jared is in front of the window shaking his head.
Jared: I can't open it
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Jensen is talking to a women at the jewelry store.
Jensen: Uh what?
Offset: Try again
Jensen slams his hand in the counter
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Offset: Open the fu***** window you d***!
Jared: I can't, they closed the latch too much. I cannot physically open this window!
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Jensen is in the bank with a very dead Ron on he floor
Jensen: I'm sorry Ron. You did a real good drug
Jensen laughs and so does Ron
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Jared: I'm gonna come in there and kick your little 5"4 ass!
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Ron: Come on guys, go
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Jensen is hugging Jessica.
Jess: Can't breathe!
Jensen lets her go and she clears her throat.
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Jared: Open the-"
Jensen and Jared try using a knife to open the latch
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Jay: Kickin' ass and takin' names!
He walks by and almost Knicks down a studio light
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Offset: Here. Let me help. You ready? And
Jared: I still can't open it
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Jensen is staring into something with a crazy look on his face.
Offset: Cut!
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Offset: And action!
Jared wiggles the knife into the window
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Ava: That was the most fun I've had in my whole life
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Jared continues to use the knife.
Offset: Cut!
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Jared spanks Jensen's butt in the trailer. Jared laughs.
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The YED is in the reapers body.
YED: Today's your lucky day kid
She tries to put her hand in front of Jensen's face but misses.
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She tries again but misses...again
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Jensen and Nina are ties into chair by Gordon. Jensen's breaks and he falls.
Jensen: I'm free!
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Jared motions to the camera as if saying "I'm watching you"
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Jared: Elena's got to be worried sick about you, let's just get out of here
We accidentally see a camera guy
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Jensen jumps out of a window
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Jo has her gun to Jensen's back.
Offset: 3,2,1
Jensen knocks the gun out of Jo's hand and the gun crashes to the floor. Jo is still going on as she pretends to punch him.
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Bobby opens his door to find Jared impersonating Jensen. They laughs.
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Ash: Business up front, party in the back
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Jensen: Poke em in the eye! (Or something like that...)
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Jensen: Hi, I'm Jensen Ackles. You may know me from the award winning series...Dawson's Creek
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We see Jensen walking to the Impala with Jared in it
Jensen: Hey, you want breakfast?
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Jensen eats
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Jensen: I'm starving
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Jensen is on set Studio 9 and holds up a sandwich
Jensen: They're like miniature phillycheesesteak sandwiches they're delicious
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Jensen laughs with a mouthful of candy.
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Jensen is wearing his priest uniform and eats a little hot dog
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Jensen and Jared are in prison
Jensen: I like mine al dente
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Jensen is at the Winchester house eating a sandwich
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There are more continuous scenes of him eating