Krystal anxiously looked over Amber's shoulder as the older girl sat in front of her computer. It was a hot day in late May and the couple was hiding in Amber's apartment to get away from the heat. On a whim, Krystal decided to show Amber something she was working on, and she was anxiously waiting for a critique.
"Wow..." Amber said at last after several minutes of reading. "This is really good!"
"You think so?" Krystal asked nervously. The project in question was a story that Krystal had started writing a short while ago, about a month after the she and Amber started dating again. It was a story about them and the early stages of their tumultuous relationship. Even though it had been a difficult time for Krystal, every moment was important and she never wanted to forget what they had been through.
"Your writing style is really, really good," Amber said, finishing the chapter she was on and starting the next.
"Do you really think that, or are you just saying that because I'm your girlfriend?" Krystal asked dubiously. She was proud of her writing, yet at the same time she didn't have much confidence in her abilities.
Amber turned away from the screen and looked at Krystal with a smile. "I'm saying this because I honestly mean it. Your writing is descriptive and powerful, and it really makes me...feel, you know?"
Krystal smiled shyly and nodded. "Thank you," she said, leaning down and kissing Amber's lips gently. The older girl wrapped an arm around Krystal's waist and pulled the younger girl into her lap with a squeal of surprise.
"No, thank you for writing this. Reading it makes me remember a lot of little things that I forgot about us when we started dating. Your story is seriously accurate, almost like a biography." Amber hugged Krystal tightly as the younger girl beamed with pride. Then Amber paused. "...just how far into our relationship is this story gonna go?"
"Uh, I don't know..." Krystal responded slowly. She really hadn't thought that far in advance. "Until I find a good stopping point?"
"Are you gonna write, like... rated R stuff?" the older girl asked nervously.
Krystal turned to face Amber, still wrapped in Amber's arms. She could see Amber blushing and Krystal started to blush as well. "...maybe?"
"Soojung-ah! You can't!"
"Why not?" Krystal asked, her cheeks still warm from embarrassment. "It's not like anyone will know that I'm the author. I'm using a screen name."
"But still!" Amber protested. "It's about us and stuff that actually happened!"
"It's LOOSELY based on us," Krystal argued with a smile. "I might change some stuff around where convenient."
"Yeah, well... what if your readers guess that it's you writing this story?"
Krystal rolled her eyes and the question. "No way. No one's gonna think that a Kpop idol sits around writing fanfics about herself."
"But seriously, what if they guess?" Amber asked rationally. "Never say never. Fans can sniff out the craziest things. Remember when someone saw Changmin-oppa's face in a spoon from Vic-unnie's picture?"
Krystal laughed, remembering the ridiculous but accurate sleuthing from netizens in the past. "Then I'll just deny it," she responded simply. "There's no evidence linking me to this story, so just relax." It was Krystal's turn to pull Amber into a hug, and she saw the immediate calming effect that it had on Amber.
"Well, R-rated stuff aside, this story is really good," Amber said at last.
"Really?"
"Really. I'm probably biased since you're writing me out to be such an awesome person, but I love it." Amber kissed Krystal's nose, eliciting a giggle from her. "I honestly can't wait to see the rest."
"In that case, I better keep writing," Krystal said happily, reaching for the computer's keyboard. Her fingers slipped as she took the keyboard away from Amber and she accidentally switched internet browser tabs from her story to Amber's weibo. "Whoops, sorry," Krystal apologized, starting to switch back to the proper tab, but Amber held up a hand to stop her.
"Wait, leave it," Amber said. Her eyes were glued to the screen, which was fully written in Chinese. Krystal couldn't read a single word and stared at Amber in confusion.
"Huh? What's up?" Krystal asked.
Amber reached for the mouse and keyboard and began typing. "Uh, nothing maybe. There's a story trending about Vic-unnie."
"Ooooh, what's it say?" Krystal looked at the unreadable Chinese text eagerly. Victoria was starting to become more and more popular in China lately, and Krystal couldn't be happier for her leader-unnie. Victoria's popularity was well deserved in Krystal's opinion.
"Um... I think this is wrong..." Amber said slowly, her hands falling to her sides. There was an unusual look of disbelief in Amber's face that caused Krystal to feel alarmed. "It says that Vic-unnie is planning to terminate her contract with SM."
Krystal heard the words that Amber spoke, but she couldn't comprehend them. Within the last year, three Chinese members of EXO had already tried to terminate their contracts. Kris, Luhan, Tao... the names were almost taboo within the company. The lure of the Chinese entertainment industry was strong, and those three selfish cowards abandoned the company and the group members that had rocketed them to fame. But Victoria wasn't a selfish coward like the former EXO-M members, right?
Krystal looked to Amber who was still staring at her computer in disbelief. "She wouldn't do it, this is just a rumor," Amber mumbled. Krystal could sense the fear in Amber's voice. Amber was close to EXO, and every departure had been unexpected and painful. But if EXO's troubles were hard to deal with, Victoria's departure would be unbearable. Krystal quickly pulled Amber into a hug, trying to share Amber's pain between the both of them.
"It's a rumor," Krystal whispered into Amber's ear. She didn't feel very confident about her words, but she repeated them all the same. "It's just a rumor."
They watched Victoria's name chart higher and higher on the real time search engine in China, only making them feel worse. Krystal thought about Victoria, about what the older girl meant to her. Victoria was not just the leader of f(x), but a precious sister and a dear friend. Krystal could understand Victoria's reasons for wanting to return to China, and part of Krystal honestly wanted Victoria to go down this easier and more lucrative path, but where would this decision leave f(x)?
"How do we be f(x) without Victoria?" Krystal asked softly, unable to keep up her strong front any longer.
Amber turned to her with saddened eyes, unable to offer her any reassurance. "I don't know. I feel like we wouldn't be f(x) anymore."
Krystal nodded, feeling the same. "Should we call Vic-unnie and ask her about it?"
Amber nodded in agreement, but neither of them reached for their phones. They sat there, too scared to confirm a rumor that they thought might be true. Krystal felt ashamed for not having any faith in Victoria right now. The advice that Victoria and Luna had recently given her about staying positive and believing in her f(x) members suddenly went out the window.
In the midst of their silence, Amber's phone suddenly rang and startled them. Krystal moved for the phone more quickly than its owner, thinking that it was Victoria trying to contact them. But it was Luna's name on the display and Krystal answered it feeling slightly disappointed.
"Amber-unnieeeeeeee!" Luna wailed loudly into the phone. Apparently the news had reached Korean shores quickly. "Vic-unnie is leaving us!"
"Unnie," Krystal softly answered into the phone. "It's me..."
"Soojung-ahhhhhhh, she's leaving!"
Krystal turned to Amber and informed her that Luna was on the phone before passing it over.
"Luna, where are you?" Amber asked, looking more composed now than she had been a few moments ago. "You're at SM?" The older girl looked at Krystal and she nodded with understanding. They were going to meet with Luna at the company.
Less than an hour later, Krystal and Amber arrived together at SM. Luna was waiting for them in a break area on the second floor, and they rushed there to meet her. Other SM artists were milling around the tearful f(x) member as Krystal and Amber entered the area. Apparently they had all heard about Victoria's rumor, and they were quick to offer words of encouragement to the f(x) members present.
"It'll be OK," Krystal heard Key say to Luna as he pulled her into a hug. Kai and D.O. came over to Amber and told her that f(x) would get through this, even if Victoria left. Joy and Yeri were at Krystal's side telling her to stay strong and be positive.
Krystal was grateful that the SM artists were trying to offer them support, but no one was saying the words that Krystal wanted to hear most; no one here was believing in Victoria, no one was telling them with confidence that they thought the rumor was untrue.
There was loud talking in the hallway and Krystal looked to the door, hoping that someone was coming by with news about Victoria. The group passed by and Krystal recognized that they were just coordinators and stylists. She started to look away, but then Krystal noticed that a person had broken away from the pack and was now walking toward the break area.
The others had turned to look at the door as well, drawn by the volume of the stylist group. Thus, when Yoona entered the break area, she was met by the stares of the entire room. Unfazed by the attention, Yoona walked confidently toward where the f(x) members stood among their peers.
Krystal had not stood this closely to Yoona in a long time, not since before the problems between Jessica and Girls' Generation. They were as close as sisters in the past, somewhat owing to their similar appearances and the fact that people mistakenly thought they were related. Like with Tiffany, Krystal missed her relationship with Yoona, but there was nothing they could do given the circumstances with Jessica.
Yoona was the most senior sunbae in the room now, and the younger artists stepped back to make room for her. She easily parted the crowd and stopped in front of the f(x) members. Yoona took Amber and Luna's hands, but it was Krystal's eyes that she looked into as she spoke with utmost confidence and certainty.
"The rumor's not true," Yoona said. "I don't believe it for a second and neither should any of you."
Luna let out a loud sob and immediately threw herself into Yoona's arms. Amber also turned to Yoona for a comforting hug after hearing the older girl's reassuring vote of confidence. Only Krystal stayed still, unsure of how to respond to Yoona. Out of everyone in the room, Yoona alone had been able to say the words she needed to hear. But it was Yoona, and there was supposed to be an impenetrable barrier separating Krystal's interactions with her as far as SM and her relationship with Jessica was concerned.
Again, it was Yoona who took action with confidence. The Girls' Generation member took her hand and quickly gave it a squeeze before Krystal could move. Their eyes locked for a moment and Krystal tried to thank her without words.
"Believe in Victoria-ssi," Yoona said, dropping Krystal's hand as quickly as she had taken it. And just like that, the moment ended and Yoona left the break area without a backwards glance. Amber and Luna gently hugged Krystal from each side, offering the younger girl their support as Krystal stood there and tried to collect her thoughts.
Thanks to Yoona's support as well as each others' support, the three f(x) members managed to stay positive as they spoke to their managers and waited for the situation to clear up. Victoria was currently mid-flight back to Korea and perhaps unaware of what was even going on. Luna had tried to call Sulli to invite her to wait with them while they waited for Victoria to land, but Sulli was not responding to her calls.
The trio sat together with baited breath along side their managers. When Victoria finally landed, the f(x) managers contacted her immediately and received the good news.
"She's not leaving," their manager told them, much to everyone's relief. "She's coming here directly from the airport to talk to the directors. She says she's sorry for worrying everyone."
"Why is she apologizing?" Amber asked. "It's not like she's the one who started the rumor."
"You know Vic-unnie," Luna said, with a watery smile. "She always apologizes when it's not even her fault because she's so kind."
The three members nodded, overwhelmed with exhaustion and relief. Krystal started to laugh from the absurdity of the situation now that the rumor was determined to be false. How was it possible that all three of them, their managers, and even the company had ever doubted Victoria's loyalty? They all knew her so well, and yet they all had a moment of weakness where they believed that Victoria was selling out to return to China. But to Victoria, the greatest treasure turned out to family, friendship, and loyalty.
Amber and Luna watched Krystal with concern as her laughter turned into tears of shame for not believing in her Vic-unnie, her dependable Vic-omma. It was only when Victoria arrived a short while later, full of optimism and understanding, that Krystal could forgive herself for doubting someone she loved.
"It's not that you didn't trust me," Victoria told her softly, hugging Krystal to her with the warmth of a mother hugging her child. "I know you were scared that I might leave, and fear makes us behave in strange ways."
"I'm sorry I didn't believe in you, unnie," Krystal whimpered, tightly wrapping her arms around the older girl's body.
Victoria smiled and placed a kiss on Krystal's forehead as Amber and Luna joined their hug. "I forgive you my baby, because that's what families do."