Niall P.O.V.
I took another sip from my ice coffee sitting on the table. I'm at Starbucks , trying to focus on a new song I was writing. I took the pen in my hand and starting writing down another lyric.
"Oh you don't know how much it hurt me,
to find out that I was being played,
and you might try to mend the pieces,
but I bet you don't know what to say.
'oh , here I am, trying... to believe,
but I was blinded, oh I just couldn't see,
that it was wrong to think of,
you and me. Oh... here I am, here I am, just here I am."
Hm... that was a good start. It helped with the pain. The pain of losing Sophie. I really thought she loved me, but I guess I don't know what love is yet.
Victoria comes to mind, whenever I hear the word love. I always thought she was the one. Until something happened, something that I never thought would. And, I can always hear the faint sound of the gunshot when I go past that alleyway, I can hear the screaming out of agony and pain. I can still feel the blood that ran out of her body sometimes.
It hurts to think about that night. It gives me a shiver down my spine and I never thought, nobody did. She was the last person I would of thought of. I really wish I could've stopped her. Them. IT. The whole entire situation and, apparently, I was to blame for all of it.
Well, I blamed myself. It was my fault. If I had just... followed her... out into the night when she wanted to go for a walk.. it wouldn't of happened. I... I would've kept her safe. But, I guess that was the problem, wasn't it? I couldnt keep anyone safe... I... I'm so worthless.
I felt a tear stream down my right cheek and I quickly realized I had got lost in thought. I was completely and utterly zoned out. I wiped the tear off and gathered my notebook, pen, and phone off the table and shoved them into my bag. I got up and pushed in my seat, turning around and making my way towards the exit.
"Excuse me, sir, I'm afraid you forgot your change on the table." I voice said from behind me.
I turned around and faced a beautiful girl with green eyes and brown hair. She smiled at me , as my eyes locked with hers. She had a petite frame and was tall, I noticed, scanning over her body. She looked around my age , and had the cutest dimples.
"Um, excuse me? Sir...?" She laughed , waving a hand in my face.
"Oh, yeah, right. Thank you. And your name is?" I asked taking the money from her hand.
"No problemo. And my names Natalie." She smiled , holding out her hand.
"Niall. You work here?" I asked, shaking her hand.
"Yeah, I do. Well, on the weekends. But on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I'm the cashier at Nandos. Our motto is, "The customer is always right, even if their request bites." She laughed , smiling and making her arm curve, sticking her thumb up.
"Haha, cute. Thanks again, for the money. Maybe we can hang out one day." I smiled nervously, waiting for her reaction.
"Sure, I get off work at Nandos, tomorrow at 4:30, if you want to hang out." She smiled, taking out her notebook from her pocket on her apron and writing a number down. She handed me the slip of paper, and I returned the smile.
"Awesome, ill text you and meet you there. Nice talking to you , love. See you tomorrow." I waved walking out the door.
"You too babe." She laughed winking , and cleaning one of the tables.
I laughed back and ran over to my Toyota, throwing my bag in the passenger seat and buckling myself. I started up the engine and leaned back in the seat. I pressed my foot on the gas pedal and started driving towards Liam, Zayn's , and my flat . My phone started ringing in my bag and I reached over quickly and grabbed it, keeping my eyes on the road. I pressed answer and somebody immediately spoke.
"Niall? Where are you mate? " I heard Liam's voice on the other end.
"I'm on my way home... why?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows. Did I do something wrong?
"Well, we were all about to Ash and Carly's in an hour for a bonfire. Do you want to come? I can understand if your not in the mood because of Sophie-"
"Who the hell said I was in a bad mood? I'll go Li, just don't fucking assume things, okay?" I snarled into the phone. Just the mention of her name got me in a pissy mood.
"Right, yeah I'm sorry. I just called to tell you we will be leaving soon and we didn't want to leave you behind. I'll see you in a few." He said quietly and then I heard a beep, meaning the phone line ended. He can't just hang up on me? I was talking to him, and he was the one that brought up Sophie in the first place, he shouldn't be scared.
I threw my phone onto the passanger seat and turned left, gripping the steering wheel hard, so hard that my knuckles turned white. I mean, what was happening to me? Was I not the down to earth, fun, cheeky, Niall Horan anymore?
*************
"Back in the days, when I was young and now I'm not a kid anymore, some days I say I wish a was a kid again. Yeah thinking back to when things were so easy, got me laughing at loud for no reason." I rapped (A/N the song is Akidagain, by Travie McCoy). , going through Twitter on my phone. I heard Liam and Zayn laugh in the front seat, as we pulled into Ash's driveway.
As we got out of the car, Carly ,El, Harry, Lou, and Ash ran out to greet us.
"Hey Niall, Li, Zayn." Harry greeted hugging Liam and Zayn. He turned to me, gulped loudly and stood back next to Ash.
"Okay, so um the bonfire is in the back all built. There's beer, soda, marshmellows, chocolate, graham crackers, and pizza all on the patio table. Help yourselves, and follow me. " El motioned , shoving her hands in her pockets and turning around the corner of the house.
I saw 3 logs spread around in a circle around a pile of wood. There was patio furniture next to it. 2 couches, a table lined with food ,a canopy, and a few chairs. There was also a flatscreen hooked up to the side of the house, in front of the furniture. Hm.. fancy.
I made my way over to one of the logs , and sat down. I fished out my phone from my pocket, and looked at my notifications. 7 missed calls, from Sophia. 5 messages. From Sophia. 3 fucking voicemails. From that bitch Sophia. It makes me sick.
I felt a hand on my shoulder and came face to face with Harry. He smiled at me and sat down, handing me a plate with two slices of pizza on it and a coke. I pushed the plate away .
"I'm not hungry." I mumbled shoving my phone into my pocket and crossing my arms, leaning back on the log. I licked my lips and turned towards Harry. "And what do you want anyway?"
"Wow that's a shocker. Your always hungry . And I wanted to see if you were okay, mate. You haven't really talked to any of us in well... about a week and a half. Are you okay?" He asked putting his hand back on my shoulder. I shrugged it off.
"Where the fuck do you think you can come off as asking me if I'm okay. You showed me that picture. You told me what happened. It was all you. You could of avoided this. I could of dealt with this on my own. I'm fucking fine, like you even care. I don't have a reason to talk to you. I really don't." I spat, glaring him in the eye.
"Ni, I-I was only trying to help-" He started, but I cut him off.
"No. I don't need your bloody help. I don't need anyone's help. I'm fine you twat." I snarled getting up and walking toward the table.
"Hey guys, were about to start the fire. Can you guys get your food and sit down?" Lou asked , walking out with his gutair. El was lighting the fire and putting marshmellow sticks on each log place.She sat down in her chair after starting the fire and I walked over and sat in between Zayn and Lou. At least I didn't hate them right now.
"Okay, so let's start off with a song. I propose 'A-Team' by Ed Sheeran?" Lou asked smiling. Everyone nodded and Lou started playing. "Okay, so I want one of you guys to start off the song. Ash?"
She blushed but started singing anyways.
"White lips, pale face, breathing in the snowflakes,
burned lungs, sour taste.
Lights gone, days end,
struggling to pay rent,
cool night's, strange men."
And then Zayn started the chorus.
"And they say, she's in the class A-Team,
stuck in her daydream, been this way since 18, but lately her face seems,
slowley sinking wasting, crumbling like pasteries , and they scream, the worst things in life come free to us,
cause she's just under the upperhand, goin mad for a couple grahams, and she don't wanna go outside tonight. And in a pipe she flies to the mother land, or sells love to another man, its too co-o-old outsi-ide, for angels to fly.
to fly, to fly."
Then Harry started singing, I was actually Amazed how well our voices fit together.
"Ripped gloves, rain coat,
tried to swim, stay afloat.
Dry house, wet clothes.
Loose change , bank note,
weary eyes, dry throat,
call girl, no phone."
Then Lou started singing the chourus and we all sang the last note.
"And they say, she's in the class A-Team,
stuck in her daydream, been this way since 18,
but lately her face seems slowley sinking , wasting, crumbling like pasteries, and they say,
the worst things in life come free to us, and were all under the upperhand,
we go mad for a couple grahams, and we dont wanna go outside, tonight.
And on a pipe we fly to the motherland or sell love to another man, its too cold outside, for angels to fly,
angels will die, covered in white, closed eyes, hoping for a better life, this time, well fade out tonight, straitdown the line... angels will fly, fly,
angels will die."
Lou finished strumming and everyone started clapping happily. We heard a loud boom and looked up at the sky.
"Hey guys, someone is setting off fireworks next door." Ash said pointing , while Haz had his arm around her shoulder.
"They're so pretty." El laughed pointing , while Lou held her other hand.
Colored lights streamed across the beautiful night sky. This moment was perfect.
Maybe things would get better. Maybe me and Natalie would turn into something more. Maybe we could all be happy and a good group again . Maybe my broken heart will patch up and forget about Sophie. Everything will be fine. It will all be-
"Hey, babe." A high pitched voice said from behind me.