RPOV:
“It was like...something or someone took over my mind,” I whispered, shuddering.
Dimitri and Alberta peered down at me with concern. We were currently sitting in Alberta’s office. Outside, the sun shone bright, indicating how late it was.
Alberta gave Dimitri a meaningful look. He sighed in defeat.
“What?” I asked.
“Rose...” Alberta trailed off, looking uncomfortable. She sighed. “We really should have done this the minute you came into the school.” she shook her head.
“What? Done what? Dimitri?” I looked at him questioningly.
He simply looked away guiltily.
“Counseling,” Alberta finally said.
“I-what?” I gave her a look that clearly said, Are you facking insane?
Alberta sighed again. “It’s clearly all the pressure getting to you, Rose. We’re not blaming you, believe us. We just think it would be best if you talked to a counselor. With everything going on, it’s no wonder that you’re-” Alberta cut herself off.
“Driving myself insane?” I supplied, glaring.
“No, Rose. I just - please, do this,” Dimitri said, begging me with his eyes. “You scared me, Roza. If counseling is what it take for me to never see you attempt suicide again, then so be it.”
I stared at him with pain. He didn’t believe me. “Dimitri, it wasn’t me,” I insisted.
He hesitated. “I believe you,” he finally said. I could tell he was being honest. “But I would rather have you in counseling and safe than dealing with the....other students.” A distasteful look appeared on his face and the truth behind why he really wanted me in counseling was revealed.
He knew that I wouldn’t talk and be belligerent about it. He didn’t care about that. He just wanted me to be away from all the words and safe in an adult's office. He was afraid for me.
My face softened as I realised all of this. I sighed. “Alright. How often and how long?” I inquired.
“Every day and instead of your field experience,” Alberta said promptly.
I sighed. “And I also want you to move back in with Dimitri, in the cabin,” Alberta tacked on.
I grinned. At least one good thing came out of all of this. “When am I moving?”
“Right now,” Dimitri said. “In fact, you can have the day off tomorrow, since you’ll be tired.”
I sighed again, but nodded. “And the appointment?” It was hard to believe only two weeks had passed since the last appointment.
“We’re going to it, of course.” Dimitri smiled at me, his eyes bright.
I exhaled with relief. “Well, that’s not so bad, then,” I mused, standing up.
“I mean it, Rose.,” Alberta warned. “You better show up to every single one of those meetings.”
I sighed with exasperation. “Like Dimitri would let me ditch them,” I said ruefully.
“Good,” Alberta nodded.
________________________________________________________
Moving back in with Dimitri was a cakewalk. All that was really need was my toiletries and pjs, although I would end up wearing Dimitri’s shirt to bed anyway.
I collapsed on the bed with a huge sigh.
“Roza...” Dimitri carefully lay down next to me, nudging me farther towards the wall. “Was it Avery?”
I had been too hysterical to really tell him what had happened when he pulled me away from the window, and he had hurried me away to Alberta’s office once I had calmed down. There, I had only told them it was a voice which told me to jump, not who the voice was or where it came from.
“It came from the bond,” I replied, not taking my gaze off the ceiling. “It wasn’t Lissa though. It...could hear me. Lissa can’t hear me.”
Rose, be careful!
Lissa’s voice suddenly burst into my mind, causing me to sit up. “Lissa?” I asked, glancing around before realising it came from the bond.
“Roza?”
I put a hand up, signal my need for quiet. I frowned, trying to focus on the bond, but it was like trying to listen to a radio with bad reception.
Careful....Avery! Stop!
Then all sound was cut off.
My worries shot up. “Dimitri, it’s Avery,” I said frantically.
“What do you mean? What just happened?” Dimitri asked quickly.
“I mean Avery is controlling Lissa. Liss just told me to be careful, and then it was like a bad radio reception, then I heard ‘Avery! Stop!’” I fired off rapidly.
Dimitri let out a long breath and buried his face in his hands. “Do you want me to go check on the princess?” he asked wearily.
I hesitated, trying gauge her feelings. They were those of irritation and frustration, but not hurt or fear. “No, she seems alright, and you checking up on her would only raise suspicion.” I sighed. I was doing that alot today, I thought absentmindedly. “Why must everything be so complicated?” I groaned out.
“Because you’re you and nothing is simple in your life,” Dimitri replied fondly.
I gave him a wan smile. “Thanks Comrade. Glad to know you’re always there for me.”
Dimitri chuckled. “That I am.” Then he sobered up. “Rose, what if she manages to really hurt you next time?”
I looked into his deep brown eyes, twin pools of love and fear for me. I put my hand on his cheek. “I’ll fight it. I’ll be much more prepared for it next time. She just caught me off-guard.”
Dimitri scowled. “That doesn’t make me feel better. What if next time you’re asleep? All of your defenses will be down then.”
“You’ll be there then,” I replied, smiling.
“That’s true,” he mused, playing with a strand of my hair. Suddenly, he leaned forward and kissed me.
My lips automatically moved with his, no thought on my part needed. I allowed my mind to completely shut down, focusing only on his lips and the way he made me feel.
“I love you,” he said breathlessly once we finally broke apart.
“I love you too,” I whispered back.
______________________________________________________
The next day, I sat in Deirdre’s, my counselor, office.
“Why do you think you tried to commit suicide?” she asked.
I sighed. “I didn’t. I was forced to. And just for the record, the only reason why I’m here is because Dimitri is forcing me to go. That doesn’t mean I have to answer any of your questions,” I snapped back.
“You must be very close to Guardian Belikov to listen to him so well,” she observed.
I nodded. “He’s the only one I have left. He’s the only one who has been there for me through everything.” I said honestly.
“The only one? Are you sure about that?” she questioned.
I nodded again. “Of course. I mean, look at now. Lissa is no longer my friend, my two best guy friends are avoiding me to keep their reputation, and the only other person I could possibly count on is best friends with the guy that raped me. Yeah, I only have Dimitri left. Maybe Alberta too,” I added grudgingly.
“Is the fact that you feel alone the reason you tried to commit suicide?”
I let out a frustrated groan. “No. It has nothing to do with that. I was, like, compelled to jump out the window. Compelled as in magically, not by my depressing thoughts.”
“Do you have depressing thoughts?”
I growled.
____________________________________________________
Deirdre had a tendency to answer all of my questions with her own questions, a very frustrating tactic that got us nowhere.
After about a week of counseling, I considered calling it quits and dealing with the consequences. However, when I asked Alberta if I could, she replied with a resounding, “NO!”
It was during one of these sessions, about a week and a half in, that it happened.
Deirdre was being her annoying self when I heard Lissa's voice.
No. No! NO! Help! Rose! Please!
My eyes widened. “Lissa!” I gasped out.
“What?” Deirdre looked at me, startled.
“Lissa! Lissa is in trouble!” I cried out, standing up.
“Rose, just calm down,” Deirdre said.
“No, you don’t understand! I need to help her!” Terrified feelings were coming through the bond. Again, I heard that voice. Jump. Just jump. This time, however, it wasn’t pointed at me.
“Rose, sit down,” Deirdre commanded.
I shook my head and tried to open the door, forgetting that it was kept lock during the sessions.
I began pounding on the door. “Let me out!” I screamed. “I need to get to Lissa!”
Behind me, I heard Deirdre talking on the phone.
I continued pounding and trying to turn the handle. “Let me get to her! She’s in trouble!!”
The door suddenly opened, causing me to fall forward, straight into Dimitri’s arms.
“Roza!” he exclaimed, steadying me. “What’s going on?”
“It’s Lissa!” I shouted. “She’s in trouble!!”
I forced myself into her mind, horrified by what I saw. Lissa was standing in front of her window, about to jump. I could see Avery’s cold eyes glinting out of the corner of her eye.
“You should get down from there,” Avery’s silky voice washed over me. No, not me, Lissa. I could hear the subtle command underneath, though. Avery suddenly noticed something.
You again, her voiced snarled in my mind. Get out!I was forced out of Lissa’s mind.
“She’s in her room, about to jump!” I screamed.
Dimitri immediately leaped into action, calling several guardians on the radio as he took off towards the Moroi dorms. I followed as fast as my six month belly would let me.
At the doorway to the dorms, I ran into Adrian and Christian.
“What’s going on? Little Dhampir!” Adrian cried out.
“No time,” I snapped. “Adrian, you need to get up there and keep Avery from killing Lissa.”
Adrian simply stared at me for a few seconds before sprinting up the stairs.
“Come on, Chris!!” I cried, beginning my waddle up the stairs.
Christian lent me his arm, helping me up. Halfway up the stairs to Lissa’s third floor room, he stopped.
“I am not letting you hurt yourself or your baby,” he snapped, pulling out his cell phone. Cell phone? When did Christian get a cell phone?
“Mason? Get your ass to the Moroi dorms, right now. Like, five minutes ago now. Rose needs help. Don’t ask questions, go!” Christian snapped his phone shut. then wrapped his arm around me again, helping me up. Not even three minutes later, pounding footsteps announced Mason’s arrival.
Mason took one look at me, leaning on Christian and spun around.
“Climb on,” he said.
I carefully climbed on, being mindful of my stomach.
“To Lissa’s room,” Christian said hurriedly.
“This feels awkward,” I whined as Mason began climbing the steps like a mountain goat.
“Don’t worry about it. As long as you get up there safe.”
We made it to Lissa's room in record time.
Once the door opened, I called back to Mason, “Get Eddie! We need all the help we can get!”
Mason nodded, already on his phone.
I turned to survey the scene. Lissa was still by the window, but looked like she was fighting it. Adrian was trying to talk to Avery. Avery noticed me by the door.
“You!” She screeched, hurting my ears. “It’s all your fault!”
She stared me. I focused on the things I loved to fight her compulsion. Dimitri. Ivan. Dimitri. Ivan. I felt something odd almost brush my mind. I fought against it, not liking it.
For a moment, it seemed as if I blacked out. Once I came back, an excruciating pain hit my stomach. I doubled over with a yelp. I felt something wet, suddenly. Looking down, I saw a red splotch on my pants. Blood.
The door burst open, revealing Dimitri. He took in the scene for a second, before beginning to go towards Lissa. He then spotted me, doubled over in pain.
“Roza!” Dimitri cried out, and immediately scooped me up bridal style. I felt like I blacked out for a moment, making time skip because the next time I opened my eyes, I found myself in the birthing room, the pain in my stomach tripling.
“We’re losing him!” I heard a doctor cry out.
“Push!”
It was as if my body, and not my brain, followed that command as I pushed. The pain increased even more, doubling back on itself before rising again.
I screamed so loud my throat burned.
“No, no, no, no!!!!”
The pain reached its crest as I felt something slide out of me. And then I black out.
Only a few minutes passed before I came to again, only to see Dimitri staring in absolute horror at a bloody, small body in his hands. The pain rose again, and I thankfully passed out.
The next time I woke up, everything was quiet. There was no pain. I looked to my right and saw Dimitri sitting in a chair, his head buried in his arms.
“Comrade?” I whispered, my voice hoarse. Instinctively, my hands flew down to my stomach; it was flat. “Comrade, what happened?”
Dimitri stood up, his face filled with pain. “You lost him,” he said, his voice barely controlled. “You just had to be a hero and go there, and you killed him.” His voice shook with pain and tears and hatred. “Now there is a possibility that you will never have children. I say good. You’d make a terrible mother anyway. You can't even take care of a child while it’s part of you. You’ll never be able to care for one once it’s out.”
I lay frozen as he walked out. His words kept repeating in my mind. You killed him. You killed him I killed my son. My son was dead because of me. I began drowning.
Suddenly, I felt an odd flutter. My hands moved along my stomach to that spot in confusion. There was another nudge. But Ivan was dead.
I felt the nudge again. Then he shifted, making it obvious that he was still there. Avery. Something with Avery. Then it hit me, and the compulsion was lifted.
I stared at her in horror which quickly shifted to anger.
“How dare you-”
“How dare you!” She screeched back. “You tried to take away my Adrian, you bitch. I'll take everything of yours!” Then she spun around to face Lissa once more. “Jump!” That one word was filled with so much power, it appeared as though that’s what pushed Lissa out of the window, not her slipping foot.
“Noooo!!!” I cried out, lurching to the window.
Avery laughed maniacally. “Poor little Rosie, lost her best friend. Next thing you know, her baby will follow on her heels!”
Avery lunged towards me, and I cowered away. Just in time, Mason tackled her.
“No! You won’t be killing anymore today!”
Guardians flooded into the room, taking Avery from Mason.
“I hate you! I hate you!” Avery yelled, trying to free herself. “I hope you die!”
The guardians took her away. Through the bond, I felt Lissa sigh in relief. Lissa!
I bounded to the window, and saw Lissa clutching Dimitri for dear life. Forcing myself into her mind, I saw a replay of the last minute in her mind.
When she had fallen out of the window, Dimitri had caught her, knocking the breath out of her. Once she realised that she was alive and not a splatter on the grass, she began thanking Dimitri profusely. Dimitri, on the other hand, looked like he wanted to be upstairs.
“Hey, comrade!” I called down, relief plain in my voice. Dimitri’s head snapped up, a smile breaking over his face. “Good catch!!”
A/N: Does this seem rushed to you??