It's amazing how much information I find within my first hour of searching for Max Creal. At first, I feel like I'm getting nowhere, but then almost magically, names start popping up. Every name I look at that is Max Creal; I find a way to contact them. I start a system where I write the place of residency with the contact information next to it. Then I move on, ready to find another one.
After I've gathered eighty Max Creal's information I narrow them down by ages. Half of them are under the age of eighteen and thirty-two of them are over the age of twenty. I look at the last eight and notice that only one of them lives in England. It has to be Jack's brother.
I quickly type an email to this Max Creal.
Mr. Maxwell Creal,
This may sound extremely strange to you, but I am writing to contact you about your family relations. I was wondering if you were in touch with your biological father at all. Is your father the Jeremiah Creal of Creal Publishing Incorporated, based out of London and New York City?
It is imperative to the research I am doing. I told his son and heir, Jack, that I would do some research for him and track down his brother.
Please write back as soon as possible.
Macey Littlefield
I fall asleep, proud of myself for actually being able to do something.
***
When I wake up, the first thing I do is pull my lap top onto my lap and check my email. There in my inbox sits an email from Max, but my excitement dies within the first line of his response.
Ms. Littlefield,
I'm sorry to inform you that I am not related to Jeremiah Creal, Publishing tycoon and CEO. I know this for certain because my last name came from my step father, who is in fact also not related to the Creal Publishing family. I wish I could help you, but I'm afraid I cannot.
Sorry for the misunderstanding,
Maxwell Creal
I close my eyes and let out a groan, cursing beneath my breath. My phone rings and I jump at the sound and my eyes snap open, hastily answering it when I see that it's Lola. I check the time in a quick glance, seeing that it's nine o'clock here, which means its twelve o'clock in New York.
"Hey, Lola." I let out a sigh unintentionally.
"I have news."
I close my eyes again, internally groaning this time. "Alright, hit me with it."
"Jack is proposing tonight." She doesn't build up to it, but rather, she drops it like a bomb.
However, I take it like a bullet to the heart. It hits me square and I feel the effects spreading over my chest, seizing me and taking me under. "And how do you know this?" My voice is barely a whisper, but it's there.
"Jack told me." She says it with a hint of smugness in her voice and I instantly become confused. This is, after all, the girl who calls him Jackass.
"What?!" I sit up straight and tall, shocked.
"Well, in these two weeks where you and I have been virtually and physically apart, I've busied myself with schmoozing and making friends." A hint of sadness and pain is in her voice and for the first time since I talked to Lola last, I feel guilty.
I never called her back because it was too hard. She was still seeing Jack, hearing about his days, when I was over two thousand miles away from him, holding the pieces of our broken hearts in my hands. "I'm sorry, Lola. I should have called."
She sniffs lightly, striking me with surprise since she's such a hard person. "It's okay. I understand – really, I do. But I just wanted a text here, a text there."
"I know, I'm sorry, Lola. I'm a sucky friend"
Lola recovers her usual persona. "Yes, you are. Now, you owe me – big time." Her voice stops abruptly and I realize she's remembered she called me for a reason: Jack's proposing to Mia. Tonight.
"So your new best friend Jack Creal told you that he's getting engaged?" I try to keep my voice light and indifferent, but I'm pretty sure I'm fooling no one. This news is crushing, almost suffocating me.
Lola sighs. "We're not best friends. In fact, he probably hates me even more now. I didn't exactly find out about this in the most conventional way."
"Oh?"
"Yeah, I kind of stormed his room and demanded answers... He wasn't too happy." She says it in the most monotone voice that I can't help but laugh. The idea seems so ridiculous and it helps dull the pain. "Yeah, I asked him about you, mainly. I wanted to know why he hadn't gone after you – and to be honest, Macey, the guy is still hung up over you. He's angry at his father and maybe hurt by you, but he still loves you. I can see it."
I'm not sure if this reassurance should help me or hurt me, but it's a mixture of both. Jack loves me. He loves me. I need to find Max Creal – and then, maybe I'll stand a chance at winning him back.
***
I take the time to take a bath, fix my hair and makeup and dress properly before making my way back to my laptop. I look at the list of the remaining Max Creal's. Most of them live in the United States, a couple in Canada and one in Australia. What if Jeremiah had his son move away from England, but only made Jack think he had to stay away from England? Why would Jack look for his brother anywhere else he traveled?
I decide to contact the Australian first, praying that it's a lucky guess. I send the same email I sent to my English Max and close my laptop, not wanting to dwell on the fact that now all I can do is wait.
***
That night, when my friends ask me to join them at the usual party they go to on Saturdays, I pass. And when my family asks me to join them for a movie, I pass. My mind is moving five thousand miles per hour and all I keep thinking is Jack is proposing.
I constantly want to text and call Lola, but I know that'll do nothing. Before I can stop myself, I Google Jack's name and as soon as the search engine refreshes, my stomach drops.
The most recent articles are filled with his and Mia's names. And in each article is a picture of the "happy" couple as Jack kneels down in front of Mia, while in a fancy restaurant in the City. I analyze the picture, taking in Mia's over-excited face with the underlying tone of smugness. Then I look at the ring – the diamond so large that I can see it even in the pap pictures. Finally, I take in Jack's face. Maybe everyone else in the world would see a happy newly engaged fiancé, but I see Jack Creal, the once golden boy.
I can't believe I didn't realize it until now, as I look at his face, but Jack never lost his Golden light. He held onto it and though it faded and almost flickered out, it was brought back when we met. There was a spark and he saw hope and he was ignited with a passion, a love, a light like none other. But now, now I have caused it to whither and fade yet again. And his light is close to being extinguished completely.
I open another tab and open my email, hoping for an answer. My inbox is empty.
***
On Sunday I go to work in the afternoon and put in my two hours, slowly being let down as my inbox still sits empty. I should just pick up the phone and call Jack, but now that's he's engaged I find it even harder to dial the number, to hear his voice.
I walk down to the pier and sit on the dock, letting my feet dangle in the cool ocean water. My phone buzzes beside me and I answer after seeing that it's my mom. "Hey, mom. What's up?"
"Hey, hon. I was just wondering where you were? Are you coming home?" Her voice is cheery and I feel my own spirit lifting.
"Well, I'm at the pier, just sitting on the dock, thinking. Why, do you need me home?" I swish the water with my toes, watching little ripples of water fade out.
"No, you go ahead and stay there. Gemma just dropped by and was wondering if I knew."
"Why didn't she just call me?"
"Oh, she forgot her phone. It's okay, hon, she's just going home now." My mother says goodbye and we both hang up.
I sit on the dock still, wishing life were more simple. What would have happened if I hadn't signed the contract with Jeremiah? Would I have been able to still fall for Jack and still work at Creal? Would I still want to?
Jack gives me the same feeling I have when I'm among the millions of the City. He makes me feel more alive than I ever have before. As the distance between us grows into what feels like a chasm, I feel that life fading out of me like the golden light faded out of Jack.
•••
A/N: thanks so much for your support! I'm sorry for the extremely wide gap in updates.
I'll try to keep them more regular!
love always, Samantha X