•Jimin's POV•
"Look -- there!" Rap Monster tapped impatiently at the phone screen. "That's where I screwed up."
I nodded and squinted at the video. I rewound it a bit and watched the move again. Sure enough Rap Mon was off step. "I know what you're doing wrong." I told him.
Rap Monster looked to me eagerly. "What do I need to fix?"
I rewound the video again and we watched together. "You do alright until about -- there -- and you're off step." Namjoon nodded. "I think you end up turning on your right foot instead of your left. Doing that puts the wrong foot in front. Do you follow?"
Namjoon nodded. "Ne."
I set the phone down and walked to the most spacious part of the living room. I spoke the lyrics as I moved. "Be here -- step -- with me -- pivot on the left foot! -- or not at all -- face the front with your left foot in front."
Namjoon stood up. "Okay. So it's --" he joined me and did the move. At last his left foot ended in front.
I grinned and hit him teasingly. "You got it hyung!"
Rap Monster laughed, but his laughs subsided and his eyes became distant. My help alarm went off in my head and I touched his arm lightly. "Is there something else you want to work on? Honestly I think you need a break. We have gone over everything under the sun."
His shoulders slumped and he collapsed on the couch with his head in his hands. "Molla."
I took a seat beside him and rubbed his back soothingly. "Mwo? What don't you know? What's going on inside your head?"
He was silent for some time. He cupped his chin in his hands and blinked rapidly, obviously fighting back tears. "I just --" He sighed. "It's just --" He stalled. "It's just that after three whole years of stardom no one ever seems to talk about me or care about me."
I frowned. "I care about you. You're our leader and one of my best friends! You're a father and a brother to me since my father and brother are hours away!"
Rap Mon smiled wanly. "I know that you pabo, but I'm not talking about you or any of BTS. I'm talking about our ARMYs. I'm not trying to be selfish, but it just feels like I put more work into this band than anyone else. I've released my own mix tapes and released a song for a movie. I put on stage makeup and where fashionable clothing. I'm a nice person -- I think -- but I seem to be no one's favorite."
I leaned in and rested a head on his shoulder. "Oh hyung you know that isn't true."
Namjoon shrugged. "How can you be so sure? I mean you and V and Kookie are the favorites." He held up a finger. "And don't go telling me I'm wrong, cause I'm not. Fans love the maknae line. I read the media comments. I read the posters at concerts. I see the lines heading for you three at fan signs. They practically worship you. I don't believe in God, but, if there is one, our ARMYs seem to think you're all the Three in One."
I raised my eyebrows. "Ah chincha? I'm not so sure about that --" though deep inside I knew he was right.
Namjoon's chest rattled as he inhaled deeply. "It's just that I feel like I am constantly having to work my arse off to be more attractive, to rap better, to dance better, to send the most tweets, to write quality original music, to -- you get the gist -- the list is endless." He ran a hand through his trademark blonde hair. "I want to stop having to try so hard. For once I just want to rest and stop trying to be such a people-pleaser."
"Then stop." I told him. He looked to me. "Just stop worrying so much. I can assure you that there are thousands of boys and girls, men and women worldwide who love you. You do you and let your fans find you, don't go looking for them."
Namjoon nodded. "Gamsahabnida Jimin. You should go to university after our contract's up and be a counselor."
I laughed. "Who knows. Maybe I will do just that."
Namjoon heaved himself up from the couch. "You're a blessing, you know that right?"
I smiled. "I know." He started to walk out of the room, but I called out, "Wait!" He turned back.
I stood up so our eyes were more level with each other. "Don't think that my life nor the other maknaes' lives are easy by any means. I don't know about them, but I know that I struggle with many things each day. One of the biggest issues for me is my weight and my muscle tone. ARMYs have been expecting me to have rock hard abs from the very beginning. As soon as they start fading, even the slightest bit, I get obsessive about getting my weight down and increasing my ab workouts. It's not healthy and I need to stop -- worrying that is -- You're not alone hyung."
Namjoon smiled. "I know. Gamsahabnida." And he silently left the room.
•••
I was just about to follow Namjoon to the kitchen when the main door burst open and a familiar figure stormed in. Literally.
My one and only Jungkook stalked into the apartment. He was soaked in sweat and tears streamed down his face in torrents. His usually pale face was a hot pink color. His deep brown eyes were a swirling storm. The corners of his mouth were turned down and his fists clenched tightly.
He stomped towards the bedroom, but I thrust myself in front of him. He stumbled back in surprise. Whatever was on his mind was blinding his vision.
"Kookie-ssi! Hajima!" He sulked. I pointed dramatically towards the door. "Suga and V are napping in there!"
Kookie pushed against my body. "Let me through hyung."
I blinked. "Excuse me?! I'm suddenly just a hyung to you?!"
Jungkook brought his hands up and pushed at my shoulders. "Just let me be. I need to be alone."
I widened my stance to brace myself against his efforts to get past me. He was strong, but I was ready for him. I brought my voice down but kept my tone stern. "Look, I don't know what the hell's gone to your head, but you're making me nervous. I'll be in the living room. Once you calm down a bit come join me and tell me what's going on. Okay?"
•••
Writhin five minutes Kookie was on the couch with me spilling out everything that had happened during rehearsal.
"Lay's a hemophiliac." Kookie fretted. "His blood doesn't clot very fast. He looked like he was in so much pain. God, what have I done?"
When he finished he put his head in his hands and shook.
I had to laugh to myself. I really was the dorm counselor today. First Namjoon and now my own boyfriend.
"So you did or didn't bring ice to Lay?"
"Didn't." Kookie admitted. "I was and am too humiliated. I just got the hell out of there." He wrung his fingers in his hands in small circles. "I'm such a pabo. I'm a klutz and untrustworthy. I've ruined everything."
I took a moment to just breathe. I watched Kookie rock back and forth. He's beautiful once he reaches the mellow stage of anger. His pupils dilate, reducing his irises to thin, modeled brown rings. His cheeks flush, accenting each pore in his skin.
Plainly I said, "Do you know why I love you yeobo?"
Kookie frowned, surprised and confused. "I don't even see how you can love me right now. I've just hurt someone and now EXO doesn't trust me and now I lost an opportunity for J-Hope because if they won't let me back on then they won't --"
My lips found his and I swallowed his words. He was stunned at first but when I ran my hand over his jawline, in the place that always tickles him, he gave in and kissed back. "I love you --" I said and kissed his cheek, "for your --" I kissed his neck and he laughed deep within his chest, "innocence." I brought him into my arms and intertwined my hands in his sweaty hair. "I love you because you care about others and because you want what's best for them. I love you because you take risks and follow through with your commitments."
Kookie pulled away. "But Lay --"
I huffed in mock exasperation. "What do you mean?"
He looked at me like I was out of my mind! "I can't sit here making love while he's in a hospital in pain because of me!" Kookie made to push me off and get up, but I pulled him back down.
"Wait! Woah woah!" I held up a hand. "Knee injuries are common among dancers, you know that. And Lay's hemophilia is nothing new to him. He knows how to take care of himself. It's not your fault."
Kookie's face contorted in thought. Then he sat up a little straighter. "I guess. He just never talks about it and I've never been around someone with that condition before. I panicked."
I nodded. "How bad was the fall?"
"It was maybe a two foot fall. I was bent low to the ground and he was to flip off of my shoulders. I lost my footing as he was flipping and so we both toppled over."
I winced. "Ouch."
Kookie shook his head. "Yeah. Our choreographer made us leave. I stayed because I was in shock. J-Hope stayed for moral support, but I was running here before J-Hope could truly explain anything." Kookie dropped his head in his hands. "God, I'm so stupid."
I put a hand around his shoulders. "You are not stupid. I don't blame you for beating yourself up, but I do think this case is unsolved." I stood up and held out a hand. "I think you need to find the others and ask them what really happened. I'll come with you. Trust me?"
Kookie locked eyes with me. He smiled ever so slightly. "I trust you."
•••
"You thought he would be in the hospital?!"
"Did you ask why the manager wanted the car pulled out?"
"He has the treatment he needs. He'll be fine as soon as the swelling goes down. This isn't his first rodeo."
"Don't think we're mad at you. We aren't."
"That move is very difficult. I've told you it wouldn't always turn out perfectly."
"Yo, relax man! Of course we want to keep working with you!"
"Our choreographer should be back soon with Lay. You'll see he's fine."
"Lay will be just fine, Jungkook. Never don't mind about a thing."