ALEX’S P.O.V
I'd always loved British festivals. The hype around them was tantalising. the experiences people talked about, well, quite frankly I wanted my own experiences. I'd dreamed of performing at one ever since we watched Sonisphere four years ago. You couldn’t replace the feeling you got, stood on that stage, in front of all those people. And all I wanted was to perform in front of hundreds and thousands, who probably had no idea who we were, but could well be potential fans in the future. That would truly be a dream.
But there was a downside, just like everything in life. All good things were partnered with an edge. The journalists in England were so harsh, they were eager to get dirt on anything and anyone, and they didn’t care how.
So, venturing off on your own probably wasn’t the best idea, because the chances of getting roped into an impromptu interview were extremely high and inevitable. But I needed some time alone, to think about everything that had happened these past couple of days.
I was the happiest man in the entire universe, and I didn’t see that as anything short of an understatement. Not only was I doing the thing I’d dreamed of as a little kid, but I had Connie. If I had her alone, I’d be ecstatic. Even if I had a desk job, but I had her, I don’t see how I couldn’t love my life.
Just as I was sinking into some love-daze, that a couple of weeks ago would have made me feel physically sick, I was grabbed on the shoulder. I looked behind me to be faced with an interviewer. Great.
“Mr. Gaskarth dude! We have a lot of questions for you, we’ve been searching for you all day man, where you been?” Was he serious? I already wanted to punch this guy. So I took a deep breath, put on that fake smile I’d used so much and started talking in my neutral voice – giving nothing away.
“Hey man. I’ve been busy. Questions?” I wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible.
“Yeah, loads! Our twitter actually crashed when we announced we’d catch up with you. It was crazy!” I actually laughed genuinely this time, I loved it when our fans did that, it was insane.
“Hit me up!” He nodded and started mumbling to his camera-man, they set up and within five minutes he’d introduced me.
“So, Alex! A recurring question, by quite a significant amount is about the new lady in your life. Care to erm, elaborate?” No I did not. I make a point, as I always have, of never mixing my personal life with my public life, I didn’t think it was fair. Connie and I hadn’t even told any members of our family about us getting engaged, so I wasn’t about to just announce it. But then again, he wouldn’t know about that…
I couldn’t help thinking about Lisa - my ex-girlfriend - and how I handled that in the public light. She always resented me for never showing her off in public, never talking about her, but I didn’t think it was relevant. I was the lead singer of a band, that’s what I was known for, not some guy with a girlfriend. I wanted to talk about the music, the relevant things about my public self, not who I was dating, that wasn’t important to my job.
But I couldn’t be so harsh, he was only relaying what the fans wanted to know, and as much as I disliked him, he was only the middle man. I owed my fans some information…
I laughed my perfected fake laugh. “Well, she’s hardly new, I have known her since I was five and we’ve been best friends for pretty much our entire lives. And now here we are! How did they know about her anyway?” I hadn’t thought about that. I’d not said anything that might imply I have Connie, and I don’t think anyone else has…
“You guys posted a tour-update video a couple of days ago and she was in it. Everyone’s been going crazy!” Oh no. I forgot about that video, and I forgot she was in it. A lot. Oh God, I hope she won’t mind.
He took my hesitation as a signal to carry on. “It seems strange because no-one’s seen any pictures of you guys, and you don’t really see that much of her in the video. Are you hiding her deliberately? Because no-one even knows her name!” He made it sound like he should know her name, and he should have loads of pictures of her. How dare he, quite frankly? He didn’t need to know anything about her. I had to keep telling myself that he was only doing his job, he was doing his best for the fans. That’s the reason I answered.
Well here goes… “Well, I do want to protect her privacy, because I don’t want there to be a frenzy like there was last time she was talked about. It wasn’t easy for her, and I completely understand.”
“Well that’s a real shame… Your fans are really desperate to see her. They want to hear her call you ‘Bubbles’ or something?” I laughed so hard at that.
“She calls me Bubbles, it’s something she’s always called me.” Now I was really confused. My fans wanted to know about her, so should I just tell them? It couldn’t do any harm? Not really… I did want to be more open with my fans, so maybe this was a good place to start.
“Well, okay then. She has been shouting at me lately, she wants to meet all you guys too,” I said looking directly into the camera. I was no longer being interviewed; I was talking to my fans, just me and them. “Oh! Speak of the devil herself, here she is! Come here beautiful.” She came into view from behind a hot-dog stand; I could tell she’d been looking for me, because the worry left her face when she heard my voice. The smile that shot across her face was so beautiful; her smile was the most perfect sight. I couldn’t help but just stand and stare as she walked towards me, a wary look on her face as she calculated the scene.
The interviewer coughed quite impatiently, I mustn’t have heard him the first few times. “Wow! So this is…?”
“Connie! Connie Boleyn.” Her musical voice jumping in before mine, I laughed at her eagerness to impress everyone. But I couldn’t help the worry that still lingered, this was her first time in front of a camera like this, I didn’t want to force her into anything…
“Well then. World exclusive everybody! I would like to introduce to you all to, Alex Gaskarth’s girlfriend, Connie Boleyn!”
“That’s copyrighted by the way. I’m sticking a trademark on that particular brand name.” Her laugh seemed effortless, but only I could hear the edge in it. All her life she’d been branded as something. The daughter, the sister, the girlfriend of… Never just Connie. I squeezed her hand to let her know it was okay. She turned her head to smile at me. I kissed her.
Pulling away quickly, she looked up at me and smiled at my confusion, “watch out, you’re breaking hearts here. I don’t want people hating me bitch!” She chuckled at my reaction. Kissing her again, she didn’t pull away this time. We were interrupted by the interviewer’s coughs of impatience; I laughed, this wasn’t the first time we’d gotten carried away in front people. She smiled sheepishly as a flush of pink grew on her cheeks.
We turned back to face him as he asked us another question, except this time, it was directed at Connie. “So we hear you have famous connections?”
Without much hesitation to hint there was anything wrong with the question, Connie laughed. She was doing her best to smooth things over; I could tell she wasn’t ready to open up publicly about it. A nervous laugh escaped my lips as I attempted to make things less awkward. I glanced at Connie’s less than composed expression, afraid that if she spoke, she’d make it obvious something wasn’t right.
“It’s funny you should mention that actually. Josh Franceschi is like her third cousin once removed or something?” I knew Josh would go along with the lie, he knew everything there was to know about Connie and her family. Connie looked up at me with a grateful smile, but I couldn’t return it. I knew this wasn’t over yet.
“Our sources tell us that there are stronger connections than that.” He was determined to find out. If I found out who had hinted anything about Connie’s family I- My thoughts were interrupted by a comforting hand on my shoulder, she could tell the direction of my thoughts. She smiled in an attempt to reassure me and turned to the interviewer.
“It really does depend on what you mean by family. If you mean the people who are there for you and care about you, then yeah I guess they are famous. In fact I think you know them pretty well, they’re called All Time Low. But if you mean the people you are connected to by blood, they’re not always a good family.” I was so proud of her; she handled it better than I ever could. The grin on my face seemed completely inappropriate in light of her speech, but it wasn’t to her, she knew my emotions.
“What exactly do you mean by that?” This guy just was not going to give up today. I hated that Connie’s first interview with me was such a bad experience.
“It’s just a painful subject. I’d rather not talk about it.” Oh dear, she’d done it now. His face lightened up in glee. There was a juicy story behind this, and he was now, even more determined to find out. I gulped and she looked worryingly up at me.
“Painful? How may that be?” And it started. I just stood there, unable to say anything. Completely useless.
“It just is. It brings up a lot of bad memories, which I’d rather not go into.” She was handling this really well, but I could tell his next question could tip her over the edge. I took my hand out of hers and put my arm around her waist, holding her tight.
“Who is the famous one? Your mum? Dad? Brother?” That was it.
“She said she didn’t want to talk about it okay? Can we move on now, or is this interview over?” I had to keep my cool; it wouldn’t do anyone any good if I flew off the handle at this guy. He more than deserved it, but it would only give him satisfaction.
He continued with mundane questions about the festival, set lists and the rest of the usual stuff. I answered in as short answers as I could manage. Connie stayed silent for the rest of the interview, and I could feel she was uncomfortable, so I wanted to finish it as much as I could.
At the end of the interview, the guy told me it was live. Great. So people had already seen it. I pulled Connie away to go and sit under a tree, quite secluded from everyone. Lifting her face up to look at me, her eyes were full of pain. Remembering was painful for her. So I pulled her closer into a hug, I did the best I could to comfort her. She pulled away and looked up at me, putting two hands either side of my face and looking me straight in the eyes.
“You are amazing. I seriously don’t know where I would be without you. You have helped me so much throughout my life, you have always been there. And I can’t say how sorry I am for pushing you away.” She dropped her hands as well as her gaze. She was sorry? This was stupid.
I took her hands in mine and made her look at me. “Connie, you have absolutely nothing to be sorry for. I hurt you so many times, and you make me out to be some kind of hero. When I’m far from that. I hate myself everyday for what I’ve done to you, I can’t ever forgive myself. But I feel slightly better to know that I’ll be making it up to you, for the rest of my life.” As hard as I tried to hold the, back, a tear rolled down my cheek. She wiped it with her finger.
“Forgive yourself, Alex. You don’t need to hurt anymore.” She crashed her lips against mine, causing us to fall to the floor. She started tearing my shirt off and before I’d realised I was taking hers off too.
“Wait Connie, here?” She didn’t even answer; the second I’d taken to speak was too long a time apart.
It was a good job this tree was secluded, as we lay there in absolutely nothing, I chuckled. But she didn’t respond. I couldn’t see her face because she was curled up on my chest, using me like a pillow; which just made me laugh even more. But judging by her soft breathing, I guessed she was asleep. I reached for my jeans and took my phone out the pocket, I was eager for the response to the interview.
I couldn’t have wished for better. So many people asked if Connie was okay, and if they weren’t asking that, they were saying how much of a douche bag the interviewer was. I replied to some of them, thanking them individually for their concern and support. I kept a mental note of a few things people had said, about how beautiful she looked and how funny she was. Everyone approved of her, and that only made me want to tell them. Tell them why I was the luckiest guy in the universe.
Whilst I was daydreaming about how we could announce it, she started to stir. Looking up at me in a sleepy daze, she noticed the tree behind us and realised what we’d done. But the reason her eyes widened as they did, was not because of what we’d done, it was where we’d done it. I laughed at her expression.
“It’s my first time under a tree as well, pretty interesting huh?” She giggled and rested her head back down on my chest.
“I’ll say! We should probably get dressed right?”
“Probably but…” She looked up, confused at my hesitation.
“You are so loved, I mean it. Everyone is taken with you.” She grinned so widely. It was the reaction she never thought would come, and she couldn’t be happier. Grabbing her clothes and shoving them on, she encouraged me to do the same. Within minutes she’d grabbed my hand and pulled me away.
“Tell me, what have they said?” I laughed and told her everything I could remember, more than willing to comfort her she’d just done for me.