Yay! I managed to get this chapter finished. I hope you enjoy it. Let me know what you think.... please? :-)
Chapter Fifteen
(Eli's POV)
I stretch my back out. I've been sitting for the last hour filling in paperwork and I've stiffened up. I head to Dani's desk, thankful I'm pretty much done.
I smile when my eyes settle on her beautiful face. “Hey sweetheart.”
“Hi, sir.”
“You ok?”
“Yes sir. You?”
“Ready to get out of this place. How about you?”
“I have to get through these files before I can go.”
“Anything I can do to make it go quicker?”
“No sir, thanks though.”
“You want coffee or anything? Actually, have you eaten today?”
I see her face turn a tinge of pink, so I know that would be a no.
“I'll go pick you something up.”
“It's ok, sir. Thank you. I have some fruit in my drawer.... Are you going to Cameron's apartment?”
“Er, I haven't really decided. Do you want to go?”
“Oh, no sir. I have too much work to do. It's going to take me a while, so you don't need to wait. I think he's expecting you though.”
“Yeah, I suppose I should show my face. You sure you're going to be ok by yourself?”
She smiles a little, but I notice her eyes look sad; even sadder than usual.
“Baby? What's wrong? Something happened, didn't it?”
“No sir.”
I shoot her a questioning look and say, “Really? You look sad.”
“Just tired, sir.”
“How long will all this take to finish up?”
“A couple hours.”
I nod. “I'll go to Cam's for a bit and then I'll come back here to pick you up, yeah? We can get some take out for dinner. What do you say?”
“It's ok, sir. You don't have to cut your time short just because of me. I'll be ok.”
“Maybe, but I want to spend time with you. It's been a long day and I'd rather finish it in your company than the guys'. I'll call you when I'm on my way back, yeah?”
“Ok, sir. Thank you.”
“I'll see you in a little while.”
“Bye sir.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(END of Eli's POV)
I sigh when Eli has left. I thought he was going to keep pressing the issue. I didn't want to tell him about what the Captain said. I didn't want to cause problems between them, besides, the Captain was right. It was my fault. I should have checked the data earlier, I should have given it to Eli or Ash first thing in the morning. I know never to make that mistake again. I close my eyes briefly before getting back to work. I have a massive stack of files to get through before I can go. It does seem a little ironic that the one with the photographic memory and the ability to speed read is the only one left working on the whole floor.
I was just finishing up when the Captain's voice came over my intercom, “Dani? Do you have your files completed?”
“Yes sir. I'll bring them through.”
I quickly gathered up all the files and took them through to the Captain's office. I placed them all on his desk and whispered, “Is that everything, sir?”
“Yes Danica. You can go. I'll need you in early on Monday though. I'm sure there will be a backlog from the weekend.”
“Yes sir. If everything is left on my desk I'll come in at 5am and start.”
“Thank you. Night.”
“Goodnight sir.”
As I shut the door, I felt like the only other connection I had, aside from Eli, had been strained. It didn't feel like the Captain was so warm to me anymore. I guess I craved his approval more than I realized. It's amazing how something so simple can ruin a whole day and make you feel completely drained. My whole body feels heavy and I just want to have a hot shower and curl up in bed.
I tidy my desk and wait for Eli's call. I wait for another hour and it's almost 10pm, before I decide to just make my way downstairs. If he hasn't called by the time I reach the ground floor, I'll just go home. I get down to the 2nd floor, when I hear footsteps. They sound like they're on their way up, so I freeze, waiting for inspiration on what to do.
I have no time to think before the feet are almost in front of me. I look up slightly and I see Cain. I start to sigh out of relief that it's someone I know, when I notice the hardened look on his face and the fire in his eyes.
I take an unsteady step backwards and almost run away. He grabs my elbow, spins me around to look into my face and he seethes, “It's your fault! You did this! You changed the stats!”
I shake my head crazily as tears stream down my face.
“You've got Eli wrapped so far around your finger that he doesn't even realize the games you're playing. You act like the scared little girl just so you can get all the guys hooked. You're going to ruin my career if you carry on!”
I try to back away, but his grip on me is too tight. I start to see the darkness around the edges of my eyes, and my fingers are tingling. I know it's only a matter of time before I hyperventilate and pass out. I try to fight it; I start counting and I didn't realize I was counting out loud until Cain says, “Shut up! You can cut the act now! I'm onto your games! Just admit it!”
I can't fight it any longer and before I know it, the darkness engulfs me.
I groan as I start to stir. I feel like I've been asleep, but I don't remember getting home or getting into bed. My cell ringing startles me, and when I fully open my eyes I see that I'm laying on the floor in the stairwell of the precinct. I have a moment of confusion before it all comes flooding back to me. I gasp as it hits me what happened and I choke back tears. I manage to drag myself to my feet, but it feels like every muscle and bone aches. Cain must have just let me fall and walked off.
My cell rings again and I see Eli's name flashing on the screen. I can't talk to him now. He'll know something is wrong. I'll end up crying as soon as I hear his voice. I can't keep doing that. I need to be strong, I need to be independent. I dust myself off and make sure my legs work properly before heading down the last 2 flights of stairs. I send Eli a quick text saying: 'I've just finished. I'm heading home to bed.'
I receive his reply almost instantly. 'You've just finished? Have you noticed the time?'
I check the time and see that it's almost 11:30pm. Wow, I was out a long time.
I text back, 'I didn't realize, sorry sir.'
'I've already left Cam's. I'm half way to the precinct.'
I panic. I can't see him yet. He'll break me. He'll know I'm not telling him up. I haven't had enough time to throw my defenses up. I need to gather myself before I can face him. I think quickly and text, 'I'm already on my way home, sir.'
“Ok, I'll meet you at your house. I'll pick up something to eat. See you in a half hour.'
I don't reply, knowing there's no changing his mind. I rush home so I can grab a shower and sort my head out before he turns up.
When I undress for my shower I remember exactly what happened. Cain's hand print is just visible on my upper arm. I also notice that there's a faint bruise forming on my cheek. That must be where I hit the floor. I'm thankful that I didn't actually break anything; that would have been difficult to explain. I struggle to control my sobs as I shower, but I fight the tears back. I just manage to put some concealer on my face before the doorbell rings. I hear Eli say, “Sweetheart, it's me.”
I take a deep breath and open the door for him.
“Hey. I got Thai. Is that good for you?”
“Yes sir. Thank you.”
We eat in silence and I can feel Eli's eyes studying me. I try to ignore it, but it makes me feel uncomfortable. After we've finished eating, I stand to clear the plates. As I reach for Eli's plate, his hand stretches towards mine. I jump back and end up dropping my plate on the floor. I can only watch as it smashes on the floor. I'm a quivering mess as I see a frown settle on Eli's face. I quickly say, “I'm sorry sir. I'm sorry. I'll clean it. I'm sorry.”
“Hey, hey, it's ok Dani. Calm down. It's only a plate. It doesn't matter. I'm more worried about you. What's going on?”
“You scared me, sir.”
“Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I tried calling you, but you didn't seem to hear me. What's going on?”
“Nothing sir. I'm just tired. It's been a long day.”
“I know. At least it's the weekend. I'll clean up. You get to bed. Do you mind if I use the couch tonight?”
“No sir. I can clean up, it's ok.”
“Dani, I got it, honestly. Go get some sleep, please.”
“Ok. Thank you, Eli.”
I quickly leave the room, not wanting to push my luck. I pray that sleep will come quickly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Eli's POV)
There's something going on with Dani. I mean, I know I shouldn't have tried to touch her, but she's been acting strange since I got here. She's way more jumpy than usual I just can't figure out why. I knew I shouldn't have gone to Cam's. She's hardly seen me the last few days and I bet she's not used to my company again. I think it's something we have to work on constantly or she's going to lose the familiarity.
I clean up and then get ready to go to bed. I can't sleep though; my mind is going over what could be wrong with Dani. I see 1:50am when I'm startled by Dani's scream. I jump up and jog to her door. I can hear her sobs, so I knock quietly and wait for her to open the door. This has become out routine. She has a nightmare, I head to her room, knock on the door and when she opens it I work on calming her down.
Except she doesn't open the door this time. I call out, “Dani? Sweetheart, are you ok?”
Well, that's a stupid question. Of course she's not ok. “I'm going to open the door, Dani, ok? It's just me so don't panic.”
I open the door but I won't go into the room. This is like the only room she has left to feel safe. I want her to invite me in when she's comfortable, not because she feels like she has to. I whisper, “Dani?”
She's sitting in the middle of her bed, curled up in a ball, sobbing. She takes a few minutes to calm down a bit and I can hear her counting, when she lifts her head I can see a bruise on her cheek. I nearly flip out, but before any words can leave my mouth I remember that will scare her even more. So I take a few seconds to calm the fire inside me and then I ask, “Dani, what happened to your cheek?”
She looks confused and touches her cheek. She winces, only slightly, but I still see it. I press further, “Dani?”
She picks at the blanket and whispers, “I fell down the stairs at work.”
I quirk an eyebrow, “Really?”
“Yes sir. I hit my face on the rail.”
“Do you want me to take a look at it?”
“No sir, it's just a bruise. Thank you though.”
“Ok. You ok to go back to sleep?”
“Yes sir. Sorry.”
“Don't worry about it. Goodnight sweetheart.”
“Night sir.”
I shut the door and head back to the couch. I lay there for a while. I can't help but think there's something else to Dani's story. My gut is telling me something happened, that she didn't just fall down the stairs. I don't remember coming to a conclusion before I succumb to sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(END of Eli's POV)
I lay in bed for what feels like hours. I can't fall asleep. I feel rotten for lying to Eli, but he can't know the truth. The team works because they all gel together. I can't upset the dynamics. I've already done enough damage. Maybe Cain is right. Maybe I'm playing games without even knowing it. Maybe I should just go back to being by myself. If I shut everyone out then I can't be accused of playing anyone around.
I'm having that fight between my head and my heart again. My head knows that I need to cut personal ties with everyone, but my heart likes Eli too much. I have to make a decision, and I have to do it quickly. A bit like ripping a band-aid off. If you rip it off quickly then the pain is only for a short time. I just need to be brave and strong. Two things I'm not exactly known for, but I have to try.
I lay there for a bit longer before I decide I just need to see Eli one last time. I quietly sneak out of my room and into the living room. Eli is sleeping and he looks so peaceful, so I sit on the floor about 12 feet away from him. I'm not close enough that he can reach out and touch me, but I'm close enough to feel some comfort for him. I just watch him sleep, trying to take as much comfort from him as I can to get me through the next few weeks.
I don't know when I fall asleep, but the next thing I know, I'm snapped awake. I'm confused for a few seconds but then I remembered coming into the living room. I look up and find Eli watching me. I can feel myself trembling as I start to back away. I don't know why I back off; he's no closer to me than he ever is. He whispers, “Hey, it's ok. I'm not moving. Did I not wake up for your nightmare?”
“I didn't have one.”
His eyes shine a little as he asks, “You didn't?”
“I couldn't sleep.”
His face falls, “Oh.”
I feel disappointed in myself, like I've let him down. He must notice this because he says, “It's not your fault Dani. I'm sure you'd make them stop if you could. Have you ever slept through one until the end?”
I shake my head.
“Maybe you need to. I mean, I know you're scarred and frightened, but you got out of there alive. Maybe you need to get through the dream to see that it's ok in the end.”
I just nod, not knowing what to say or do.
“So, what do you want to do today? I've got a few new movies at home. I could go and pick them up.”
I sigh and decide I have to be strong. “I er, I have to go into work.”
“Really? The Captain asked you to go in?”
“No sir. I don't want there to be a build up of files on Monday.”
He frowns and nods but I don't know what he's thinking.
“You want me to keep you company?”
“It's ok, sir. I'll just be reading and analyzing. I won't be much company.”
He nods again. I don't like not knowing what he's thinking. I get the feeling he's suspicious, but I can't be sure.
“Ok. I'll come in at lunch time and bring you something to eat. I'll see how much you have left to do when I get there. Yeah?”
I nod, knowing he's not going to take no for an answer. I stand up and say, “I need to get ready.”
“Ok, I'm going to head home to change and whatever. I'll see you at lunch time.”
After Eli has gone, I throw on a pair of khaki linen trousers on and a white t-shirt, with some flat shoes. I grab my denim jacket and head out the door. It's warming up outside, but not hot enough to warrant leaving my jacket. Besides, I like to keep myself covered up as much as possible. I make the short walk to work and get stuck into the stack of files already piled on my desk. As I work, I can't help but wonder what the department did before I arrived. Maybe that's why the last analyst left, the work load was far too much. Who knew a city had so many threats every day?
I carry on working and Eli shows up at 1pm with a bag of food. I have to admit, whatever he's hiding in that bag smells pretty darn good.
“Hey. How are you getting on?”
“Ok. I've done that stack...”
“You've done all of that in.... 3 hours?”
“Yes sir.”
“Wow. The Cap said you were good, but wow.”
I look away from him and I see Cain walk behind Eli, heading for the locker room. My eyes go wide and panic settles in my stomach.
“What? What's wrong Dani?”
He spins round, but Cain has gone.
“Dani?”
“Sorry sir, just need the bathroom.”
He frowns but nods. “I'll set the food out in the rec room.”
A start to panic again. The rec room is right next to the guys' locker room.
I manage to say, “Can we eat here please?”
“Sure, I guess.”
“Thank you.”
I rush to the bathroom before Eli can question my behavior. I manage to calm myself down by convincing myself that Cain wasn't there. I was just seeing things. I was just panicking and imagining it. He wouldn't be in on a Saturday. I looked at myself in the mirror. I couldn't see the bruise, I'd covered it up, but I knew it was there. I could feel the dull throb pulsing through my cheek. Maybe I had done something else to it. I suppose I'll just have to wait and see how it heals.
As I make my way back to my desk, I run my fingers over my cheek just to see if it was swollen. Eli must have noticed because he asks, “Is it hurting still?”
“A little. It's ok.”
“Did you really fall down the stairs, Dani?”
At first I don't answer. I swear I can see Cain standing in the briefing room. It's like he's staring straight at me. I shut my eyes for a split second and when I open them again, he's shaking his head at me.
I drop the spring roll I had been holding and I don't even move when it hits the floor. I look quickly at Eli and then I look back at the briefing room doorway. Cain isn't there. I shake my head, trying to clear the crazy thoughts that are running through it. I look back at Eli and he looks very concerned right now.
I feel all the blood rush to my ears and there's a whooshing sounds before I can actually hear Eli.
“Dani? What's wrong? Did you see something? Talk to me.”
I ball my shaking hands into fists, to stop the trembling. “I thought I did. It's nothing, sir.”
I look at my lap and mumble, “I think I'm going crazy.”
If Eli heard me, he didn't comment. I picked up my dirty spring roll and threw it in the trash before picking up my food. Suddenly it doesn't seem to smell so nice or look so appetizing. I just pick at the food, knowing Eli will say something if I don't eat. I just don't feel like eating now. To be honest, I feel a bit sick and I don't want to be here any more.
Eli decides to wait for me, so as I'm tidying up, Cain appears. I try to steady my crazy heartbeat. I can't let Eli think something is wrong.
“Hey Cain. How come you're in today?”
“Hey Eli. I've been in the range. I could ask you the same thing though.”
“I'm just here to keep Dani company.”
I tuck myself behind Eli, not close enough that I'm touching him, but within an arms reach of him. He looked back at me and surprise flashed across his face. This was the closest he'd ever been to me, but he didn't say anything. He turned back to Cain and said, “Make sure you keep your shooting sheets and ask Simon for the computer results, ok?”
“Yes sir. I'll see you on Monday.”
Cain left and I quickly stepped away from Eli and busied myself with collecting my things.