A/N: I guess saying sorry must be getting old, but I really am sorry that I'm so slow at updating atm. I've entered hell month at school, the month before exams, and everything is crazy and stuff. Also with all the editing I'm doing, I kind of have to do things in a cycle and keep doing it that way so it all gets done. So I hope you guys aren't getting bored with this one, there is still so much more left to talk about here. All the love, as always xx
~L
PS: LARRY IS RISING
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Harry's POV:
After Louis left, I walked into school without another word. People were staring at me and whispering stuff to their friends, but I couldn't show them how I felt...I didn't want to be more weak than I already was. I could hear Liam and Niall shoving their way through the crowds behind me, but I didn't stop to wait for them. The strange thing was that I wasn't crying. I certainly felt like it, but it was as if someone had turned off the tear ducts in my eyes, so all I felt was my chest getting tight and my throat closing up. So many thoughts were running through my head that I didn't even stop when a teacher told me to get to class. I kept walking all the way to the back of the school, out the back door, and across the footie field, where only a few people were practicing, and they didn't say anything to me.
I finally reached the shed behind the bleachers and struggled with the door, my hands shaking furiously. Now tears were welling in my eyes out of frustration, and I pulled at the door so hard that the old rusty handle came off in my hand. I slid down to the ground, throwing it aside, and just buried my face in my knees. I sat there for a while,just trying to hold the tears back, but I couldn't. I wasn't even sure what I was feeling. I was sad for sure, but I was also angry, and I couldn't decide which one was making me cry. I could hear two sets of footsteps crunching over the falling leaves, but I didn't react, not even when Niall and Liam sat down next to me.
"Haz...I...I wish I could say something to make this better..." Liam said softly after a bit, putting a hand on my arm, but I shrugged him off, not looking up. "Please don't shut me out...we can fix this..."
"Apparently Louis has absolutely no trust in me...so no, I don't think we can fix it." I growled, lifting my head up at last and wiping away a few tears angrily. Niall hadn't said a word this entire time, and in fact, he looked completely ashamed, and he definitely shouldn't have been.
"Ni, it's not your fault. You don't have control over what a dick he is," Liam said,and I nodded in agreement, but Niall shook his head.
"Louis is...I just...I told you when I first met you...Louis is interesting. He's been through a lot, and it's not my place to say any of the details, not that I know much myself, but he just...he has a hard time trusting people, and for some reason, he took to you, Harry. And he...he always assumes the worst, and the worst thing you could do to him would be to betray his trust...he takes that very seriously. So I...I'm not surprised at his reaction...I'm sorry about it, though, I know it...yeah, I'll shut up now." Niall trailed off, looking very put out, and I bit my lip. What Niall had just said made a lot of sense, and maybe explained a bit of why Louis had been the way he was for a long time.
"But that's just it...it wasn't me. He was there comforting me, why the hell would I have someone spy on us? And there's no way they could have gotten in that stairwell without opening a door, which we would have heard...it just doesn't make sense...how did they know we would go there?" My voice cracked on every other word, but I didn't care. Yeah, I could still feel the tightness in my chest, I was still upset, but now I was more confused than anything else. I could now see Louis' point of view on this...how he would have thought it was me who set it upright away...but if it wasn't me and it wasn't him then who was it?
"We'll figure it out...together. But right now we need to get to class." Liam said, and Niall nodded.
"And I've gotta go find Louis and make sure he's alright..." Niall noted, and I bit back a sob that was threatening to escape me. If he had trust issues that were this bad, then what had happened in his past to make him like that? How bad was it? "Don't worry, Harry. He'll be just fine." Niall added, seeing the terrified look on my face. I just nodded numbly and let Liam help me to my feet, and we hurried back across the field to school. This was going to be a long fucking day.
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All throughout the day, I sat around in class, not really paying attention. I couldn't have payed attention even if I wanted to, because every single person in school had seen the video by now, and there wasn't a single person not making fun of me for it. Everywhere I went I got jeers and kissy faces made at me and there was a lot of mutters, but I wasn't bothered with them today. I just wanted Louis to believe in me and not hate me for something that I had no part in whatsoever. So that's what I spent the day doing...thinking. It hadn't been me for sure, and Liam had assured me that neither he nor Niall'd had anything to do with it. I hadn't suspected them, but his reassurance was appreciated all the same. Niall had not called or texted, so I could only assume that he was either still looking for Louis or he was with him, neither of which helped with my nerves, but I had to figure this out.
I started making a list of people in my head that would even think to do something like this. Outing someone was not something to take lightly, and a lot of planning would have had to have been involved for someone to get into that staircase without either of us hearing it. Most of the people on that list were eliminated by Liam, because he told me right off that all of them had been in the cafeteria at the time, and in the end, there were only a few names left on the list, one of them being Simon. I wasn't one to place blame on anyone until I had proof, but Liam had said that Simon had disappeared shortly after Louis and I had, and that was proof enough for me. Simon had always been someone to bully me, and now that Louis was hanging out with me and Niall and Liam, he wasn't too big a fan of Louis either.
"But how do I prove it, Li? Louis won't believe anything I say unless I have definite proof!" I said in a harsh whisper to Liam as we made our way to our last class of the day.
"I'm not sure, Haz, but we will find a way. Niall will be able to help with that one, I'm sure of it. I'll text him and see what's going on. Maybe he can meet us at the bakery later and we can discuss it." Liam replied, cutting off his words as Simon passed, going in the opposite direction. He caught my eye and gave me his usual smirk, and I ignored him pointedly, following Liam into the classroom. As we sat down and Liam pulled out his phone to text Niall, I pulled mine out as well. I carefully opened my messages and my thumbs hovered over the screen. Should I try to reach out to Louis? Should I let it be until I had proof that it wasn't me that had posted the video? I made a quick decision and typed a long message, hitting send before I could lose my nerve.
H: I'm sorry about what happened, but I swear to you I didn't do that. I would never out you like that, I wanted to come out together and I know you know that. I also know that you probably won't believe me and that you don't want to hear anything that I have to say, but I figured I'd try anyway. I think I know who did take that video and I'm going to get proof. I hope you will believe me then. I'm sorry, Lou :(
I sighed and pocketed my phone as class began, focusing on the slides I was analyzing and trying to come up with a plan at the same time. I just wanted the day to be over so I could focus solely on getting Louis back. Maybe I was crazy, but I was very much, well, in love with him. He was just so sweet and so perfect and he loved me for who I was, even if I had insecurities, and I had never had that before. I just wanted to see Louis smile again, because he was so beautiful when he smiled.
I jumped as the bell rang for the end of the day, not realizing that all of that time had passed. Luckily, Liam had done most of the work and I quickly signed my name to the worksheet, picking up my things and hurrying to my locker, Liam in tow.
"I got a text from Niall, he says he will meet us there in half an hour." Liam panted, watching as I threw things in my locker haphazardly, pulling my apron and my jumper out of my bag. We were off and out of school in minutes, heading down the street to the bakery.
"Why...are you going...so fast..." Liam complained, but I just shushed him and pulled him along by his wrist. Liam hadn't noticed, but I had; someone was following us, and I was pretty sure I knew who it was.
We made it to the bakery in record time, breezing through the door and heading straight to the back. Liam opened his mouth to ask, but I shushed him and made him peek around the corner. He did, and seconds later, he looked back at me, his face reddening with anger.
"He fucking followed us here? What was he expecting, more videos? I am going to..."
"No, Li. Just text Niall. Tell him to come in the back...I think I have an idea," I whispered, and Liam did just that, going into the backroom to make the call. I slipped the apron on over my head and greeted Barbara cheerfully. I didn't want her to know that anything was amiss.
"Barbara, I have another friend coming in in a few minutes...his name is Niall and he loves food, so I'd watch out for your fresh pastries," I joked, and she glared at me.
"No one touches the pastries," she said, and I put my hands up in defense, walking around the corner to the front of the house to greet the small line of people. They were all regulars, so I had them through the line in a matter of minutes, trying to keep everything going so that I could have time to talk to Niall about my plan.
Liam and Niall came around the corner a few minutes later, and I pulled off my jumper, handing it to Niall as I explained the plan. I chanced a glance out the window and sure enough, right across the street at a cafe, were Simon and all of his buddies, all huddled at one table, seeming discussing something important. Niall didn't even protest, just threw on the jumper, pulled up the hood, put on Liam's sunglasses, and headed out the front door, the bell tinkling merrily. I sighed, praying that this would work, and it seemed to be, for the most part. I could see Niall take a seat at the table right next to theirs, and they didn't seem to notice or recognize him, which was the plan.
I walked to the back with Liam to grab some more bread and treats and he helped me carry them up front. I started to load them into the display case while Liam went back to help Barbara with the new pastries coming out of the oven. I had almost finished when the door opened again, a gaggle of girls voices coming inside. I looked up and my heart jumped into my throat. Louis was standing there, looking uncomfortable, and his sisters were all with him, smiling and laughing. I thought about running for it, knowing that he didn't want to talk to me, and I didn't want to get yelled at again, but it was too late. He caught my eye and looked away quickly, but I had seen it. His eyes were red and he looked utterly exhausted. He had been crying. I felt my heart pull at that, because he thought that I had betrayed him, and I never wanted to cause Louis any type of pain. He didn't deserve that.
Louis' little sisters ran up to the counter, and I bent down to speak to them, being as kind and as collected as I could with Louis' bright blue eyes boring into me from the other side of the shop.
"What can I get for you this time, girls?" I asked, and they giggled, pointing at what they wanted. I rang them up, and then the two older ones came up, the oldest one blushing as she told me what she wanted. I got pretty uncomfortable when girls had this reaction to me, because I was gay and I didn't want to hurt their feelings, but I was also a really nice person in general, or I tried to be, and people took that as flirting, which was not what it was.
And then Louis was standing in front of me, his hands twisting together in front of him and his eyes trained on the floor. He mumbled what he wanted and I had to ask him again, because I couldn't hear him. He looked up at me and I could see the pain in his eyes, something that I had hoped to never see again.
"I'll just have the cinnamon bun...please," He said, his voice croaky. I rang him up and tried to smile at him, but he just looked away again.
"Louis, please look at me," I said quietly, so that only he would hear.
"No. I don't want to...I hate you," Louis mumbled back, and I felt a pang in my chest. That one hurt...but I couldn't lose my cool.
"Louis, I didn't do it, I swear to you," I began, but he put his hand up to stop me.
"I saw your text. I just...I can't even believe that you would...never mind. Bye, Harry." He took his things from me and hurried his sisters out of the shop. I turned around to face the back wall, running my hands through my hair and feeling tears well up in my eyes. How could he just not believe me?
"I...I thought I heard him...you okay, Haz?" Liam's voice reached my ears and I felt a hand on my arm.
"How can he just hate me like that? I would never ever do something to hurt him..." I tried to say, my voice cracking as I tried to hold back my emotions. I was at work, for fuck's sake, this was not the place to be doing this.
"Hey, guys I got the...Harry, you okay, mate?" Niall had just come through the front door, looking happy as ever, but his smile faded as we turned to face him and he saw the look on my face.
"Louis was just in here...and Harry tried to tell him, but he just...wouldn't listen." Liam offered, and Niall pressed his lips together.
"Fucking idiot, that one...I tried talking to him earlier for you, but he was...yeah, it was bad. Let's just say that. Umm...but I think I have your proof, and you are not going to believe what I've just found out."
I swallowed and wiped my eyes quickly. "C'mon, let's go to the back..."
The three of us headed into the back, and surprisingly, Barbara didn't ask any questions. She just gave us a wink and headed out to the front to take care of the customers. Niall held up his phone and pressed play on the video he had taken. We couldn't see anything, but after a few moments, voices came through.
"...think that was too much, Simon? Like...how is that going to get you what you want?" said one voice, and Simon cut them off.
"Trust me...if Louis thinks that Harry betrayed him, then he will come running back to us, and that's where it all starts."
"Still...don't you think it's a bit...hypocritical? You outing someone when you yourself are in the closet?"
I gaped at Niall, but he shushed me, his smirk, becoming more pronounced. I closed my mouth and listened hard as Simon said something else.
"Shut the fuck up. You don't know anything. We just need Louis back in our circle, you know? Once we've gained his trust back, I can make my move."
"Can't believe you've had a crush on Tommo this whole time and he hasn't figured it out...not like you're subtle about it or anything..."
"Don't know if he will come back though...you did fight him...and out him. What makes you think he will trust you again?"
"Just trust me...I know how his brain works..." Simon's voice trailed off and the video stopped.
"He...wait, hold on...what??" Liam asked, sounding absolutely astounded at what he had just heard. Niall nodded, his smirk very prominent now.
"Oh, hell yes, Liam, my dear friend. Simon has a crush on our own Louis Tomlinson."
I didn't say a word. I was at a loss. This was absolutely crazy, but it all made sense. Simon had always been the one to discourage me about even talking to Louis, telling me that Louis wasn't gay and all that...but he had just wanted Louis for himself. Not that Louis would ever go for Simon...would he?
"It does make quite a lot of sense, now that I think about it. Simon is very bad at flirting, but he did used to come onto Louis a lot, claiming the whole 'no homo' thing...can't believe I didn't realize it before."
"Harry...you alright?" Liam asked, turning to me, and I just nodded.
"We need to show this to him..." I whispered, and Niall nodded.
"Should all of us come or..." Niall inquired, and Liam looked at me before responding slowly, choosing his words carefully.
"Maybe just you and me...because if Harry comes with us, and I don't mean any offense, Haz, but Louis might not believe that this video was real and it actually happened if Harry is trying to claim it as proof. We might just want to say that we wanted to help and that Harry didn't have anything to do with it. And after he's heard it, let him go back to Harry on his own."
I nodded in agreement. " Liam is right. You guys go...I'll finish up here and just...yeah, text me or something."
"You sure? I can stay if you..." Liam started, but I just gave a small smile and pushed them towards the back door.
"Just get him back for me, alright?"
They both nodded and hurried out the door. Barbara came around the corner and looked at me with a knowing look on her face. I just blushed and looked away, not really ready to discuss my messed up love life. I went back out front and threw myself into work, trying not to think about what might happen later tonight.
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I stayed late to help Barbara clean up the shop, and so I had a distraction, since Niall and Liam still hadn't texted me. I tried not to let it bother me, but when I got home and got dressed for bed and checked my phone again, it was late and still nothing. What if Louis didn't want me back? What if he realized that I had been a mistake? I mean, I definitely wouldn't blame him...I was weird and kinda shy and I smelled like bread and chocolate all the time, and I definitely wasn't attractive. Louis, however, he was way out of my league. Perfect body, perfect face, perfect voice, perfect everything. How could I have thought that we would ever fit?
I curled up on my bed and pulled my pillow towards me, cuddling it. It had only been one time, but it felt super weird to be sleeping by myself after spending the night with Louis. I bit my lip, trying not to revert back to my earlier thoughts, but I couldn't help it. I was a stupid fucking insecure idiot who couldn't even manage to get a guy without messing it up completely. I hated myself.
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The next morning dawned on my sore eyes. I hadn't slept a wink, though somewhere in there I had cried a little bit. I checked my phone, and there was still nothing. I dragged myself out of bed and got in the shower, hoping that that would wake me up a bit. I pulled on my usual clothes, hurried downstairs, and grabbed a banana before heading out the door. I didn't bother taking my car...I just wanted to walk, get some fresh air. Even though I would be about 30 minutes early to school, I just walked there, figuring that a bit of time for myself would be good for me.
I walked onto the grounds and sat on the steps, tapping away at my phone to pass the time. There were a few students there, but they were the ones all trying for valedictorian and were always at school, doing extra credit work or helping teachers plan lessons. None of them paid me any attention, and I was just fine with that.
My phone buzzed and I almost dropped it in my haste to check my messages, but it was just from my mum, making sure I had made it to school okay. I texted her back, my heart sinking a bit. I stood up, cracking my back, and walked slowly into school. People still stared and laughed and all that, but instead of ignoring it, my heart just sank lower and lower until I felt like just sitting on the floor and crying. But I wouldn't do that...that's what they all wanted, to see me break down. I just walked to my locker and slowly pulled things out for the first half of the day.
Someone called my name and I barely had time to look up before Louis was standing right in front of me, looking down at the floor and shuffling his feet. I swallowed hard and closed my locker door.
"Hey, Lou, is everything..." I started to ask, but he looked up at me, his blue eyes staring into my green ones.
"Is it true...what that video said, is it true? It was Simon?" He wasn't smiling, he wasn't begging. He was just looking at me with a hard expression. He wanted answers. I nodded quickly, almost afraid to speak in case he yelled at me again.
"Yeah...It is. Niall recorded the whole thing...I had my suspicions but I didn't want to tell you until I was certain..." I trailed off, rubbing the back of my neck and not sure what else I could say to it.
"I...I'm sorry. I thought...I mean, I really shouldn't have blamed...I just...fucking hell, no one told me apologizing to my boyfriend would be this hard," Louis said, his face growing red. I almost chocked.
"B-boyfriend?" I squeaked out, not sure that I had heard him correctly. Louis' mouth lifted in a small smile.
"Well, yeah. We are dating, aren't we?"
I just nodded, a grin spreading across my face, and Louis smiled even wider, lifting up on his toes just a little bit to kiss my cheek.
"Good. I was hoping you'd say that. Better get to class, Harold. Don't want to be late." Louis said cheekily and I blushed as he walked off. Now everyone was staring again, but no one said a word to me. I just picked my bag up off the floor and hurried after Louis to our first class, unable to wipe the dopey smile off my face.
When we entered English together, I could see Simon's face, and he was absolutely livid. I couldn't pretend that I wasn't afraid, considering that I sat right in front of him, but Louis graciously walked me to my seat and leaned over to whisper to Simon, so that only the three of us could hear.
"You so much as touch my boyfriend and I'll rip your dick off, got me?"
Simon actually shuddered, though if it was because he was scared or because his crush was standing so close to him, I wasn't sure. As Louis went to sit down, I watched Simon's eyes trail after him, and I turned around fully to look at him.
"Don't...even...think about it," I growled, and he looked down at the floor immediately. I turned back around, a smile on my face. Today was a good day.