Cas (POV)
*A DAY EARLIER*
"Damn it Cas, I love you!"
I look down at him, stopping the knife right before it smashed into his face. He slowly opens his eyes and looks back up at me, hope filling his whole face and he carried on holding onto my hand which was still gripping his face tightly.
"C-cas." He breaths out, trying to stand up but i hold him down.
"Do it, Castiel!" My father hisses from behind me. "Kill him!"
"Not on my watch!" I hear a voice shout from the doorway. I turn to see who it was only to see a bullet shooting right for my head. It hits me in the forehead and sends me tumbling backwards and falling to the floor at the force of it. It hurt like a bitch but a mere bullet, i knew, couldn't kill me.
I groan and hold my bloody head in my hands while in a flash i saw the younger Winchester drag the other one from off the floor and out of the door without a second look back while my father stood beside me, looking down at me and shaking his head.
"You're a disappointment." He scoffs before vanishing from sight.
***
I sit on the floor, my mouth was dry and my face was bloody from the bullet wound in my head. I lift up a hand and dig my finger nail inside the wound, clawing the bullet from out of my forehead, letting the blood drip down my face.
Rage and hated mixed within me. Most for the Winchesters as i was unable to kill them but a fire inside me burned with hate for Lucifer who had now vanished from sight, no trace of him in the flat at all.
I gradually pull myself up from the floor, walking over to look in the mirror, to see what i had become. The thing staring back at me barely looked like my old self and i didn't think i liked what i had become. I remembered everything, but my time on earth had been so much more peaceful then all those years i spent in hell as the ant-Christ. Didn't all humans have a choice? I was part human wasn't i?
Did i really have to become the monster my father, and everyone else around me, thought and said that i would become? Maybe it was inevitable and i had no control over what i would be, or am, becoming. My eyes were so bloodshot i could barely look at them without feeling slightly nauseous. I walk into the bathroom and begin wipe the blood off of my face before heeling my wound which didn't even hurt.
The only thing that did especially hurt at that very moment was my heart. Perhaps it hurt because my father was disappointed in me. But i knew that wasn't the case. The demon had told me that he loved me but i believed that he was only saying that to stop me from killing him with his own blade. The demon didn't really love me.
A few hours had past before i got a calling of some sort. I couldn't even explain it, something in my head told me that i had to leave this flat and go elsewhere. To Lucifer. With only a click of my fingers i appeared in some run down old bar that was more or less empty. I frown and turn my nose up slightly before walking in.
I got a few dirty and scared looks from some of the customers because of the blood on my shirt but with a straight back and my head held high i walked past them elegantly and sat down at the bar, looking right at the bartender who was dubious about serving me.
"Erm, what can i get you?" He asks, not getting to close to me.
"Water." I tell him simply. He lifts and eyebrow but nods his head before getting the drink while i look around to see my father approaching me. "Father."
"Don't call me that." He snaps quietly and the bartender hands me my water.
"But that is who you are."
"You don't deserve to call me that. Especially after that crap you pulled today. Looks like i'm going to have to train you to not let your feelings get in the way of a task. It would be so much easier if i could rip your soul out, however it wouldn't work if i did that, you would be less powerful."
I nod my head in understanding, showing now emotion as he spat insults at me for the rest of the evening. Telling me how ridiculous and weak i was for not killing Dean until i couldn't take anymore. I slammed my fist so hard on he counter that the music and the chatter in the bar stopped altogether.
"Shut up!" I shout but Lucifer wasn't looking at me. He was looking out at the bar with a small smile on his face. I look around in confusion and gasped, standing up quickly and looking around. "W-what happened?" I squeaked in a small voice.
"You killed everyone." Lucifer snorted as he inspected the bloody dead bodies laying all around the tavern, some even sprawled across the pool table. "Just because you got angry and hit your hand on the counter, you killed them all."
"N-no. I didn't meant to." I sob out, my hands beginning to shake.
"You can't escape who you truly are Castiel. You're the devil's son and the catalyst. You're going to change the world, getting it ready for when i take back my throne in hell and lead the demons onto earth, letting them roam free and taking as many souls as they want until there is no human left standing with a soul. Apart from your of course."
I didn't want to do that. I didn't voice my opinion but i just stared at Lucifer with complete horror while he laughed and vanished from my side. There was no way i was going to become the reason for the apocalypse. The rapture. The one God had warned me about in the scriptures and the bible.
I take in a shaky breath, looking around one more time sadly before gritting my teeth and walking out of the pub. I see a block of run down and abandoned flats just up the street from me so i run across and enter them, going right up to the top floor. I unpick the door and enter, sitting down in the middle of the empty living room floor before curling up on myself.
I hated Lucifer, i hated him. Maybe being a priest for all those years really did help me. Michael put me in that position to be ironic according to Lucifer. But perhaps he put me in priesthood to save me instead.
I was getting more and more angry by the minute. With Lucifer. With Michael. With myself. I was just glad i was alone when i walked into the kitchen and began rooting through the cupboards as if i would find a damn thing. That's when i heard the door open and shut before i voice shouts out.
"Hello?"
Dean (POV) *Present time*
"Angelface." I breath out but he glares at me.
"Don't call me that." He snaps at me and i sigh and rub my forehead. "I'm far from that."
"I-i just. I don't understand. Why have you all of a sudden become.. good again?" He asks and this riles me up a bit.
"Good?" I spat out. "Dean, i'm not good! I will never be good. Did you not hear me? I want to take over hell and kill my father. It's the only way i can get out of this nightmare of a life and if i die on the way, so be it."
"Don't say that." He whispers out and i look into his eyes for the first time since becoming the demon that i was. As i looked into his eyes, it was clear to me. He may not love me because he was incapable of loving anything. But there was something there. Something there that wasn't there before. I couldn't put my finger on what but that one look calmed me, made me feel a slight twinge of happiness. "Don't you ever say that."
"Well i just don't care anymore, Dean." I curl up into a ball on the bed and snuggle in closer to his warm body. "I don't care about dying, or living, or anything."
"Anything?" Dean asks in only a little more than a whisper.
"Nothing. I can't... feel anything. It's like i've turned into a black empty hole."
"Probably just need to be filled then." Dean snorts and i look up at him seriously. He grins down at me. "C'mon on that was funny... do you get it? Cause you know, hole that needs to be filled? With a penis?"
"I got the joke, Dean." I tell him without cracking a smile. His smile faded and he shrugged.
"Can never tell you anything. It does straight over your head."
"Straight would be the wrong word to use here, Dean." I say seriously and he looks at me again, yet another grin appearing on his face.
"Yay! You did one! I mean, you could have cracked a smile or something but you're making good progress. Good job." He gives me a playful poke and i let out the smallest of smiles. "There's that smile i love."
"Shut up." I groan and sigh, going serious again. He just rolls his eyes and wraps his arm around me.
"Listen kid, you can do whatever you like. Take over hell, kill Lucifer, become a king. Whatever-" I look at him hopefully, about to let out another thankful smile. "-just make sure you're home by ten and have your phone on you at all times okay?" (Credit to you guys!)
"Oh for fucks sake Dean!" I shout, trying to push him off the bed while he laughs loudly and just pushes me back. He pushes too hard however and i'm the one that ends up tipping over onto the floor and ending on my ass with my legs still on the bed. He laughs loudly and comes to the edge of bed, peering down at me.
"Oh my god, i am so sorry." He snorts out.
"Yeah, you look it." I tell him.
"Here, let me help you up." He holds his hand out for me to take to pull me back on the bed. I take it but rather than waiting for him to pull me up, i pull him down making him shout in surprise as he ends up half of him on the floor, the other half sprawled across me.
"Ow." We both say in unison and start laughing loudly. It was the most i had smiled in weeks and i couldn't believe how much my heart lifted when i was with Dean.
Dean moves into a more comfortable position on the floor, the same as me but just next to me. He turns his head to the side to look at me and i do the same as him. He smiles, his green eyes shining brightly as he looks into my blue ones.
"Do you remember the first time we spoke?" I whisper. I didn't know why i was whispering, I only knew that there was a time and place for it and now seemed like the perfect time.
"I'n not sure." He says, frowning slightly. "I was watching you for so long-"
"Pervert." I snort and he gives me a nudge.
"Shut up."
"You came into the confession booth and started admitting your sins. There was a lot of them because obviously... you know. Demon and stuff. I was so terrified. All i could smell was sulphur... why can't i smell sulphur on you anymore?" I ask him and he shrugs.
"I don't know." He says truthfully, shrugging. "Maybe it's because you're used to the smell by now. I really haven't a clue."
"Why were you going to have sex with that girl in the confession booth?" I ask him, it had been bugging me for ages. I didn't know why i had asked it now.
"What girl?" He asks and even though he was being deadly serious, his comment made me smile.
"Never mind, Dean." I whisper and kiss his nose. "Never mind."
A/N: Hey look, there's a bit of fluff in all this angst. What's that doing in there?