I stood in my bathroom alone once again, with a blade in my hand.
I couldn't take it anymore. My dad got drunk again, and this time, he slapped me, and threw me against the wall. And nobody at school had even questioned.
So I decided to just do it.
I'm going to kill myself.
I can't take it anymore.
There's nothing in this world for me.
I pressed the blade down hard on my wrist, harder then ever before. And dragged that cheap peace of metal across. Blood oozed out and dropped into the floor.
"Stop this, now." A voice piped in my head.
"Why? There's nothing, nothing left."
"But there is, you don't know what's coming for you. "
I nodded, not believing what that non-existent voice said in my head.
I pressed the blade down again a sliced.
There was now a puddle of blood on the floor, and I began to feel light headed.
I took the blade once again and pressed down and slid.
Forever, the scars will remain.
~~~~~~~~~~
Black, was all I saw. I tried to move, but nothing happened.
Am I dead? I hope I am.
I heard voices and soon black turned into grey, grey turned into white which blinded me. I looked around to see I was in a hospital.
Fück I'm not dead.
"She's awake!" A familiar voice said.
"God damnit why aren't we dead?" I thought to myself
I looked up to see my so called 'dad' with tear stained cheeks.
I rolled my eyes at the thought of him pretending to be sad and upset that i was in the hospital.
"I was so scared!" My 'dad' said grabbing my hand.
"Oh don't act like you care!" I mumbled/yelled
"What do you mean?"
"Why did you bring me here? I mean you would've wanted me dead anyways." I mumbled as there were no doctors or nurses here.
"What?"
"Don't fucking pretend like you don't want me dead!" I spat harshly
"Baby don't say that." He said sadly
"I'm not your baby! I'm not even your daughter!" I sneered
"Please don't say that I said I was sorry!" He said
"Well sorry is not enough. When do u get out of here?" I asked
"Today, I'll go sign the papers." He said getting up
I nodded and sighed when he closed the door. Looking down at my wrist, I saw it was covered in a white wrap with red peeked in a couple of parts. I sighed and tried to move my arm but it only brought pain.
I was finally let out of the hospital and I was now sitting on my bed.
My dad knocked on the door.
"It's open" I said
"Hey. Do you want to go shopping?"
I chuckled "we don't have enough money for that." I mumbled laughing
"Okay well then do you want to watch a movie?"
"No thanks."
"Well can I at least Ask a question?" He said 'hopefully'
I looked at him as if he could go on.
"Why'd you cu-"
"Oh you know why!" I warned "my life is shit and you know it!" I yelled walking out.
"Don't say that!" He yelled
I jumped a little but gained my confidence. "Oh please, you don't give a fuck about me! You only care about drugs and drinking!" I snapped "can you leave now?!" I said'
He walked out knowing I didn't want to talk to him. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I'm just done. Why didn't I die? I should've cut deeper, or more.
So I looked towards the bathroom, but knowing that cutting won't kill me, I crept downstairs knowing my dad left to the bar, and went into his room and grabbed his two bottles of sleeping pills.
I grabbed a water bottle and and ran to my room, down both pill bottles and cried myself to sleep, knowing my life was about to end.
But these weren't just sad tears, they were happy tears, I mean, most of my life I wanted it to be over.
I smiled before drifting off to a never ending sleep.