Miley's p.o.v
The tears continued to stream down my face. I'm not cut out for this. In a few days I was going to have too face my father and I wasn't sure I could handle that. I could barely handle being in the same room as Jason.
"Miley," Lewis said as he continued to knock on my door.
I swiftly got up and opened the door to let him in.
"Are you okay?" He asked as I wiped the tears from my face.
"I will be," I said sitting on the edge of my bed.
"It's okay to cry." He said sitting next to me.
"Yeah but it makes me weak." I shook my head.
"I cry," he said, "does that make me weak?"
"You—no," I said shaking my head.
"It is perfectly normally to cry. It shows that you are human; you accept failure and you rise from your failures through tears." He was wise and I was grateful for his raw words.
"Why are you always right?" I asked as a small smile spread across my face.
"Because," he shrugged.
"Thank you," I said resting my head on his shoulder.
"I would like to make one suggestion." He said clearing his throat.
"Oh?" I asked.
"Talk to Sam alone." He said.
"She doesn't like me," I said. Sam hates me and I can understand why.
"That's not true. She just doesn't know you. It's weird for her to see a woman like yourself working in a man's world." Lewis reasoned.
"Is she sexist?" I asked in disbelief.
"No," Lewis chuckled, "its strange for her to see you calling the shots. Its strange for her to she her brother so love struck over someone. This whole situation is strange for her." Lewis explained. "I am not trying to make you talk to her but I think it might help for you guys to understand each other before we walking into this meeting."
"Yeah," I nodded in agreement. "I wouldn't say that Jason is love struck." I said shaking my head.
"You don't see the way he lights up when you walk into a room? You don't see him not being able to take his eyes off of you for more then a minute? You don't see the sparkle in his eyes? You don't see how defensive he is about you? You don't see how he can barely speak when he is around you? I can tell you right now, he is in love with you." Lewis said sending both anger and fear throughout my body.
"Then why would he push me out? Why would he yell at me? Why would he treat me like that?"
"He is scared." Lewis said. "I am not defending him. I don't like the way he treated you and I don't want him anywhere near you. But, I know Jason and I know that he is scared. He sees you as something that makes him weak and that scares the fuck out of him. I did the same thing and so did Greggory. We didn't want the one thing that made us weak be the same thing that breaks us." Lewis said with a sigh. I could tell it was painful for him to reflect on his past.
"Well, that isn't an excuse." I said crossing my arms.
"I know and like I said; I am not defending him." Lewis said with a shrug. "He made his bed and now he gets to lay in it."
"I don't want to talk about this anymore." I sighed.
"Okay," he nodded and kissed my forehead. "Think about what I said about Sam and get some sleep." He said before leaving the room.
I felt my chest constrict the moment the door shut.
"Jason?" I heard Lewis voice on the other side of the door. I quickly stood to my feet and walked closer to the door.
"What are you doing out here?" Lewis asked.
"Nothing," Jason's voice erupted sending shock waves throughout my body. "Is she okay?" He asked.
"She is fine," Lewis lied.
"Can I talk to her?" He asked.
"No," Lewis said sternly. "You've said enough."
"I wanted to apologize," he said softly as sadness filled his voice.
"I think it is a little to late for that. The damage is already done." Lewis said. I could tell that he cared about Jason. He was being nice and I know if it were Denver he would not be this calm.
"Did she say anything about me?" Jason asked.
"No," Lewis sighed, "she didn't have too."
"Look, I am sorry." Jason said and I could hear clear sympathy in his voice.
"You don't need to apologize to me." Lewis said.
"I know," Jason sighed, "but knowing that she is like a daughter to you makes me need to apologize. I fucked up and I lost her." His voice cracked. "I hurt her and I...I lost her forever." His voice had cracked on the last few words but I caught it.
"Jason," Lewis sighed.
"It's okay," Jason said his voice slowly going back to normal. "You don't have to say anything; I know."
"Please just—just tell her I am sorry." Jason said and I heard someone walk away. Lewis let out a shaky breath and opened my door.
"I assume you heard," he said looking at me.
"Yeah," I said wiping the tears that were sliding down my face.
"I'm sorry," he said shaking his head.
"It's fine and you have nothing to be sorry for." I said kissing his cheek.
"I am going to bed." I shut my door in his face.
I heard him walk away and I quickly turned off the light and jumped into my bed. I didn't ask for this life.
-
I walked downstairs and into the kitchen after a restless night of little sleep. Sam was standing in the kitchen alone. I guess now this means I should talk to her.
"Sam," I said walking to the counter top.
"Yeah," she looked over at me.
"Can we talk for a few minutes?" I asked.
"Sure," she nodded.
"I know that we didn't start out on the right foot and I want to apologize for that. It wasn't my intention. Honestly, there is nothing going on with Denver and I. As far as I know I am the only girl that he dated besides you and that was years ago. I was younger and stupider. I want to make it clear to you that I do not love him. There may have been a time when I thought I loved him but it wasn't the right kind of love, if that even makes sense." I sighed. I was blabbering on because I had no idea what to even say to her.
"The whole thing with Jason...I don't even know what that was. I just don't want us to be on the wrong foot with one another before this meet and I think that setting the record straight is for the best." I cleared my throat. "Any questions?" I asked looking at her. She looked clam and understanding.
"Do you care about my brother?" she asked looking around the room as if Jason were going to pop out.
"Uh, that is a difficult question." I said letting out another shaky breath.
"Yes or no," She was so much like her brother and that was starting to annoy me.
"I don't have a 'yes or no' answer for you. I don't think things are simply black and white especially with Jason." I said crossing my arms.
"Well, do you at least believe in love?" she asked as if there could possibly be a simple answer.
"I believe in a lot of things. I think that it is possible to love people. I love my friend in a friend way, I love Lewis in a daughterly way, and I do not think there is a black and white area in love." I started. "I think that you can love anyone and anything. I also strongly believe that you can feel more then one love for someone."
"Okay," she nodded, "what kind of love would you describe for Denver and you?"
"Denver and I had a puppy love." I said dryly.
"What about having a love of your life; how would you describe that?" She asked probing me.
"I think that when you find the love of your life that person contains all of the different kinds of love in one person." I said with a shrug. "I don't know if you understand what I mean."
"No, I do." She nodded.
"I think you are that for my brother. He hates how much he loves you. When I see the way he looks at you; I see a different man." She said in a soft tone.
"I get that you really care about your brother but I really don't want to talk about this." I said defensively.
"Okay," she nodded, "I just want you to know that he really cares about you and I get that he did you wrong. We all make mistakes." She reasoned.
"You're right," I nodded in agreement, "but your brother and I can't be together." I shrugged.
"That's what I kept telling myself about Denver and I, but you can only live so long with that unbearable pain. I don't want to die before I get the chance to express my love to him. You only have one life and in this line of work it is even more dangerous." She said wholeheartedly.
"Thanks for the advice," I nodded.
"I'm sorry,"
"What?" I asked.
"I'm sorry for the way I treated you." She smiled apologetically.
"Don't stress about it. I get where you were coming from." I nodded.
"I hope that one day we can be friends." She smiled.
"Don't take this the wrong way, but you and I will never be friends." I walked to the fridge and grabbing some fruit.
"Why do you say that?" she asked.
"We come from two different worlds." I shrugged. I turned around to see Jason standing in the door way.
"What do you mean?" She asked before looking at Jason.
"You don't want to know." I said reaching back into the fridge and grabbing a water bottle.
"Well, if it isn't a family affair." Megan said walking into the kitchen.
"Megan," said giving her an annoyed expression.
"Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed again?" She probed with a smirk on her face.
"Shut the fuck up," I said eating some fruit.
"I slept great." She sighed happily.
"Oh?" I asked. "Whose vagina did you explore last night?" I laughed.
"Jealous?"
"Nope. I'm strictly dick-ly." I laughed lowly.
"Did you get the vibrator I left in your room? I didn't want you to get lonely while we were here." She smiled as she ate some of the fruit out of my bowl.
"I can get dick if I wanted." I said with a roll of my eyes.
"If you wanted." She laughed.
"I'm not in the mood to talk about dick or sex." I said before eating more fruit.
"You brought up vagina's." She reasoned with a shrug.
"Why are we talking about that?" Chuck asked walking into the kitchen. Jason was still standing in the door way with an odd expression on his face.
"Because," Megan shrugged, "Miley brought it up."
"I thought you liked dick." Chuck laughed.
"Wouldn't you like to know." I said rolling my eyes.
"No, I wouldn't." Chuck laughed sitting down at the table.
"I think Jason knows." Megan laughed and so did Chuck. I heard Sam chuckle along with them.
"Let's not go there." I looked at Megan with a stern expression. "If you will excuse me, I have business to attend too."
"Your vibrator?" Megan asked. Sam and Chuck laughed.
"Fuck off." I said walking out of the kitchen.
As I walked past Jason chills went down my spine and my heart jumped because of the warmth radiating off of him.