Amanda's POV
"You know, if you don't stop that your lip might fall off", Allison pointed out before taking a bite from the chocolate she had in her hands. It was meant to be a joke but at the same time I could see worry in Allison's eyes. Everyone had that glimt in their eyes. They were worried that I wasn't okay after what happened, and I wasn't. I would get over it though, and it wasn't the subject of my wondering and worried feelings.
"Sorry, I just haven't seen James since I got out of the hospital wing. I wanted to talk to him before we left but I couldn't find him anywhere. I guess I'm just worried about him", I explained honestly. If there was one thing I had learned during that year it wasn't how to make a potion or about magical history, it was that lying never led to anything good.
"Are you sure that it's just that?", Scorpius wondered with his eyes holding more worry than anyone else's. I smiled and nodded. Maybe some people would have been annoyed or frustrated with their worry, but I wasn't. Truth be told, I felt safe knowing that even though I had messed up they were still there for me. They were still my friends and still cared about me.
"Yeah, it really is just James I'm worried about." Christina, who was sitting next to me, put an arm around my shoulders and squished me against her. Salt from the assorted sour strips, that Christina had in her lap, poured out of the bag and down on the floor. Christina barely seemed to notice though.
"It's probably fine. I mean that boy is strange, who knows what he's up to. My guess is that he had a hard time saying good bye to that twin... Alex, right?", Christina told me reassuringly and I gave her a thankful smile before looking down. Was it strange that I was so worried about that I hadn't seen James at all since I had gotten back? I mean it was four days and then they days he hadn't been able to come and visit me. I had meant to talk to him during the meals but he was never anywhere to be seen. I hadn't been allowed to go to lessons even though I was fine. They said there wasn't any point to do so since all grades were set and since I wasn't going to return next year.
"If you guys say so. I'm probably only paranoid after everything", I said as I shook my head and plastered a smile on my face that wasn't that real but still not exactly fake. The others noticed that my feelings weren't completely calm yet, but they took my smile as a chance to change the subject. I was happy that they did because I wanted some distraction.
James' POV
People would have probably called me a coward. I wouldn't have disagreed. I was a coward, but there was a reason for it. Everyone would have probably been a coward in my place. That's the thing, when there comes to decisions you don't want to make you can't help but try and avoid them for as long as possible.
"James, what is going on with you. Seriously, I don't think I've ever seen you this quiet", Roxy said which brought my attention over to her where she sat on Louis' lap. The compartment was a little full to say the least. It was the three of us, Alex, Lilly, Hugo, Molly and Rose. I had thought that no one would notice if I sulked in the corner when there were that many people there. I was apparently wrong.
"It's nothing, I'm just tired. I couldn't sleep last night", I weakly explained as if it wasn't a big deal. That was the least of my worries, not getting sleep that is. That wasn't a lie. I hadn't slept trough the whole night the last week. I was too anxious about my decision. I knew that I had to do it, but I didn't really want to. The worst part was that I would actually have to lie and I would have to do it good. If I showed any regret she would know. She would see right through me if I showed even the smallest glance of doubt.
"Fine, I guess I just have to ask you this straight forward. What's up with you and Amanda?", Roxy sighed as one of her eyebrows rose and she looked at me with an annoyed expression. So she had noticed that too. Having friends that's known you for your whole life was a problem when you wanted to hide things. They knew you too well.
"Do I have to answer that?", I wondered and apparently my answer was interesting to the rest of the compartment since everyone then looked at me with curiosity. Why hadn't I lied? Roxy's eyes told me that the answer to my question was yes.
"To be honest I don't know. I'll tell you later, after we've talked", I vaguely lied with as much resignation as I could muster in my voice. I even pulled a hand through my hair to emphasize how confused I was. I hated myself for doing it. Why couldn't things have just been easy? No matter how much I hated myself for what I was going to do, I knew that in the end it was the right thing.
Amanda's POV
I stepped of the train with my guitar case on my back and my suitcase dragging behind me. My friends waited for me to get off before we started hugging and saying our goodbyes. Christina and Dolan were first since they could already see their parents. Christina told me that she would kick me if I cried because we would see each other over the summer. There was no tears needed she told me and I was able to hold them in until they had left. Allison was surprisingly just as emotional as I was. As we hugged both of us let a couple of tears fall. Then when we parted we laughed because of our tears. Still, she told me we would write and meet before going to Paris. Then it was only Scorpius left.
"Please don't cry. I'm not and then it'll be weird if you do it", he told me before we hugged. I laughed and nodded. After we had let go I ruffled up his little emo fringe with a laugh. He answered with a frown and a glare.
"Come to London some day and I'll show you the best live music café I know", I told him which awoke excitement in his eyes. After he promised that he would he also left. I was about to turn around, my mission being to find James. If I couldn't see him before I left to go to Rose's then I wouldn't be able to let it go. I didn't have to look for long though. When I turned around he was right there, just a meter away. It surprised me enough that I jumped slightly.
"You can't do that, it's scary and weird. Where have you been?", I wondered with a smile as I let my heart go back to it's normal pace. James didn't smile though. He looked at me with... annoyance it looked like.
"I've been busy, but I figured I just had to speak to you before we part", he told me with little emotion in his voice. I tilted my head and let a frown find my features. He was acting strange. I tried to remember a moment when I had seen him have that expression on his face. It was hard and I could only come up with one moment. That time he had been rude towards Scorpius at the World Cup. Why was he looking at me like that.
"What is it?", I wondered with worry in my voice. I tried really hard to come up with a reason to why he looked so annoyed and possibly discussed. I bit my lower lip a little, worried that whatever it was that was wrong was also dangerous.
"I've come to a realization. Everything that happened this year, the letters and the messenger. You were right, it wasn't my fault. It was your fault. Had I not met you I would have been fine. I mean I was fine during that period when we weren't speaking. You were the reason to everything that was wrong this year. I actually want to be happy and not get kidnapped so I figured I would just distance myself from the reason to my misery", he spoke after a sigh. My mind blanked with confusion. Was I actually hearing him saying those words? Was he really saying what I thought he was saying? I opened my mouth to speak a couple of times but I was too confused to know what to say. He couldn't be serious, could he?
"What?", was the only word I could get out at last. It was filled with the confusion and fright I was actually starting to feel since he hadn't started to denying his words. His expression didn't change, he didn't suddenly tell me that it was all just a joke.
"I'm breaking up with you is what I'm saying. I mean, there wasn't really a future for the two of us anyway. You're not even a witch. Everyone knows that long distance relationships don't work, especially when one of the people in the relationship is causing the other one actual misery. Sorry." He didn't sound sorry. My mouth fell slightly agape as I looked up at him with pain in my eyes. His expression never changed to what I wanted to see. There was no regret. He simply looked annoyed, as if he wanted me to realize what he was saying. I was starting to do so. James was breaking up with me. He was telling me that I caused him misery. He didn't care about me. There was really nothing that could stop the tears from reaching my eyes. As they did I saw the annoyance stay on James' face and I felt the need to flee.
"Okay", I quickly just got out before turning around and rushing through all the people. I couldn't cry in front of him. I couldn't let him see me break down, not when he so clearly didn't care. Not when it would only prove how he had no feelings for me what so ever. The pain inside of me was rushing around and I felt like just crawling into a pile on the floor, but that didn't change how I felt about breaking in front of people. I still couldn't do that, no matter how much it hurt. And it hurt, more than I could explain. I barely even got to the bathroom at Kings Cross before the tears started falling. All I wanted was to disappear.
A/N: Hello everyone! This is the last chapter before the epilogue. I hope you have enjoyed this and that you liked it enough to vote( *wink wink*) Seriously though, thank you for reading this!! There will be a sequel but I don't know when I will start writing it. I can promise that I won't wait too long though :)
Sofija