I decided it would be best if I skipped out on gym class, by waving a year old sore knee slip at the gym teacher. Like all of my excuses, it worked out in my favor. She ended up seating me off on the bleachers, in the shade where the practically useless sun couldn't reach me. Throughout the hour I snuck backwards, more higher on the seats so I could have a better view of the entire class.
The boys' portion had a spot on the massive field, and were hurling footballs at each other. Off to the side were the girls, running suspiciously slow around the track bordering them.
I suppressed the urge to throw something at them.
Though in reality, it turned out that I really had nothing to be worried about. Within the class of boys, Jesse - being Jesse - had found a way to woo the coach and stand off to the side with his friends. Either they actually finished their throws, or they started up a conversation with the only authority responsible for getting them to do their exercise. Oddly enough, Jesse hardly needed the workout.
Letting my uneasy gaze rest on him, my thoughts flickered to Kale. I recalled what happened not even an hour ago, when he came forward and told me how bad Jesse really was – so bad as to steal someone's girlfriend, and throw her away like all the others. And only to add insult to injury, Jesse only made matters worse by moving onto more girls, as if stealing one wasn't bad enough. A distant part of me remembered this morning also, and how 'caring' Jesse seemed to be for dropping off my keys so early in the morning. But before that, I also remembered the kiss he was so hell bent on giving me.
Nevertheless, I couldn't take a side. It was almost inhuman.
It was about then that I suddenly heard a loud, shrilling laugh ring through my ears. When I snapped my attention back to the track on ground level, I realized the girl who caused the noise was an attention seeker.
The distance between her and me was impossibly far.
As was the distance between her and the boy she was trying to attract. It stirred something within me when I noticed that boy was Jesse. Though if he heard her, he was doing one hell of a job hiding it.
A settling calmness radiated through my body. But the peaceful moment of watching Jesse blindly reject her shattered, when a shadow of a person appeared beside me just as I relaxed back into the bleachers.
I shrieked, jumping away in alarm.
"Jumpy," the person observed.
I indentified the sandy hair, as Kale. Before thinking how mildly rude it was, I blurted out, "Don't you have class?"
He shrugged, leaning casually against the seat behind him, observing the field as I was. "I don't like Chemistry."
With an uneasy short glimpse, I eventually passed it off, glancing back down to the field. After attempting to avert my gaze so it wouldn't seem as if I were staring at Jesse, it turned out to be a wasted effort.
"It's a shame," Kale started, a bitter tone in his voice. "How off it'll be when his friends aren't going to be around him anymore."
I didn't turn to look at him, for fear I'll accidentally strangle him for holding a grudge so long. Instead, I focused my gaze on Jesse. "Why do you say that?"
All while facing away, I heard metal snap together, followed by the unusual smell of cigarette smoke. Startled for a second time, I held my breath and turned to Kale. Sure enough, he was the cause. "Do you really think they hang around him because of his charming personality?"
That sunk in, but it only hit a nerve. "Then why make it worse? Even the people he trusts are already using him."
Shortly after blowing out a ring of smoke, he sat up. "He doesn't trust them. They're tools." He turned his gaze to me. "He uses them to get what he wants."
In the midst of the smoking and the peculiar look he gave me, I didn't need to second-guess what he meant by that - no matter how much it bothered me.
Kale stood up, putting out the cigarette with his shoe, and looked back to the field. While observing him, regardless of the nagging voice telling me to breathe out, there was an odd look in his eyes. And it hit me. I didn't know the meaning of the word, but that couldn't have possibly meant others didn't. Besides, it was clear he wouldn't hold something for four years without a logical reason.
"You must have loved her," I said quietly, unaware that I had actually said it aloud. Kale's green eyes shifted to me, staying glued to mine for what seemed like hours. Unlike Jesse, there was a hint of intensity in Kale's eyes – something I couldn't pin point right away, almost as if he wanted so badly to do something, but he couldn't.
Without me, I realized.
Regardless, I thought he would have left, leaving the silence dissonantly dramatic as he walked away. But the dire need for revenge was oh so clear in his eyes. "So imagine what would happen when you ditch him."
My eyes immediately widened when I realized what he was implying. For the moment, I ignored the way he said it as if I already chose to side with him, and snapped my attention back to the field. Jesse was still there, practically ignoring the girls desperately trying to pry his attention away.
Before I could turn back to Kale, and reply with a suitable 'Carson' response that declined anything that defined myself, Jesse broke away from the group's chatter. He let his eyes wonder past the railings of the bottom of the bleachers, before my shadow caught his interest. He directed those blue eyes at me.
The small moment shattered though, as soon as the coaches blew into their whistles - loud enough to wake the penguins in Antarctica.
Something occurred to me then, and I turned to where Kale was. But I only came to find he wasn't there. I eyed the cancer stick on the ground, hearing a faint noise on the steps around the bleachers.
Love?
What was it?
Even then, what was the damned thing good for?
I turned back to the field for the millionth time, watching Jesse walk back to the locker room with his group.
It's good for nothing, I thought to myself. Absolutely nothing.
* * *
After school, Katrina pretty much knew what was going on. Before actually telling her the details, she knew Jesse kissed me - without knowing if it was willingly - and she also heard from a five-foot bird in designer heels that Jesse took me to his house and we explored our non-existent relationship more.
Which of course, wasn't true at all - and in all honesty, hearing the same things from extremely jealous girls was starting to get old. Besides, for all I knew he probably lived under a rock.
What was a relief for me though, was that Katrina didn't need to wonder whether or not Kale was in the equation. What she was wondering though, was why he was involved. So I told her.
The only thing I left out was the revenge scheme, mostly because my undecided decision would be something she would frown upon. And indeed she did, but it wasn't because of Kale or Jesse's conflict – it was because I was involved when I really didn't need to be.
"I said, let's go early to class, that day, didn't I? 'C'mon, Carson, you're failing, might as well be early.' But no, you had to make a pit stop at Casa de Locker, and run into Jesse after he finished one of his many conquests. This all could have been avoided."
I cast my gaze out through the windows, watching the melted snow fall from the trees. "What do I do?"
"Avoid him."
I looked back at her, raising my eyebrows. "Avoid him?"
"Avoid him," she repeated, mildly. "Run, call the cops, something. If not, you're going to be pushed into something you probably don't even want to do."
Too late.
She pushed open the doors leading to the bus area, but paused, obviously having something else to say. "If worst comes to worst – and if you're so sure Jesse's planning something, which we all know what – then do all the female society a favor, and do it to him, before he does it to you."
I froze. It felt odd to think like that – to think that was his purpose this whole time. Maybe it wasn't, I honestly didn't know. All I knew was that it would take Heaven and Hell for me not to murder him if it was the truth. My crazy side would reach new heights. New levels.
Katrina pushed through the doors, running to catch up to her bus before it left her. Once the bus doors shut and she left, I took a deep breath and followed her advice.
I ran to my car, not taking a second to see Jesse in the parking lot.
* * *
Kale
She wasn't sure. How could I blame her though? He's got her wrapped around his finger, just like he had with-
"Hey, Kale?" I looked down, to a girl - petite, with strawberry blonde hair. While studying her features, with raging thoughts, an idea suddenly occurred to me. "You want to get out of here? My parents left on an early vacation."
I needed something to push her, to push Carson into actually siding with me. I needed her to get back at him, to make him feel just what I felt when I lost-
"Kale?" The girl looked half ready to shake me, but I raised a hand at her. Not to silence her, but to push a messy strand of hair out of her face. Without looking like a complete waste, as she already was, she would do wonders with a suitable outfit and a hairbrush.
I smiled. In return, she smiled also - unsure of what I was doing. But I knew. Carson was in too deep with him, and there was probably no other way to convince her how bad he was - how bad he really was, than to remind her by throwing what he's good at in his face. "How about..." I started, smoothly, without breaking eye contact. "You do something for me first?"