A/N: I'm really sorry for how long it's taking me to get stuff up on here, college is kicking my butt right now and I have a lot of projects due in a short amount of time. This chapter is a bit short, because at this point, i just need to switch pov. so expect the next chapter up within the next day or two. Love you guys, hopefully you are enjoying this story. All the love, as always xx
~L
PS: THIS RBB/SBB COUNTDOWN WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME I SWEAR, its technically the 25th where I am right now (its midnight) and I don't know if i should be scared or excited. Hope it all wrks out
________________
Harry's POV:
Monday morning came faster than I expected. I had spent about three hours on the phone while Liam tried to calm me down and get me to explain to him slowly what was going on. So I was running late and only on four hours of sleep and no breakfast. I dashed into school and almost ran right into Liam, who was waiting inside the door for me, like always.
"Haz, slow down. You've got plenty of time." He chuckled, and I let out a huge breath, not realizing how fast I had been running. As we walked down the hallway, though, I could feel the mood change between us, and Liam looked over at me, seeming to be debating on whether to ask me something or not. Finally, he just went for it.
"So...about that phone call last night..." he began slowly, and I felt my heart rate pick up at the mere mention of it. I had been completely crazy for half of it, having no idea what I was saying, but only that it had something to do with the overwhelming feelings I had for Louis.
"I, umm...like Louis?" I said in barely more than a whisper, and Liam snorted.
"Well, no shit. I could only have guessed, seeing as you spent the better part of half the night rambling about him. But my question is...what are we going to do about it?"
I thought about it, and in all honesty, I had no idea what to do. I liked Louis a lot more than I would ever let on, but there was something that I needed to figure out first. I needed to know if Louis was, for one thing, gay in any way, and then I had to know why he was sad. I would date him no matter what, that is, if he asked me or whatever, but I wanted to know what was making his world so dark and dreary, what had driven him to be this cold-hearted person in school when I knew he had a soft heart underneath.
Somehow, Liam seemed to understand, even though I didn't say any of this out loud, and he just nodded, stopping at his locker. I opened mine, which was next to his, and we gathered our things. As I turned around, I caught a glimpse of Niall's blonde head coming through the front door, but I couldn't see Louis. Niall had his head down and his arm around someone, but I wasn't yet tall enough to see over the heads of the crowd.
"Is Louis alright? He looks a real mess," Liam commented quietly, and I stamped my foot in frustration, unable to catch sight of Louis before he and Niall were around the corner, heading for their own lockers. I could feel a lump rising in my throat...what if something had happened to Louis after I dropped him off? What if he was hurt? Liam must have seen my panicked expression, because he put a hand on my shoulder and looked me dead in the eye.
"He's not hurt, at least, not that I can see. He just looks really worn out, that's all. Just...ask him after class. You have your first class with him, right?" I nodded silently. "Yeah, just make sure he's alright. I'm sure he'll talk to you."
"I'm not so sure...we are in school, after all. He might just blow me off," I mumbled, but Liam just gave my shoulder a squeeze and hurried off to class as the warning bell sounded. I closed my locker and kept my head down as usual, hurrying through the halls and sliding into my seat three minutes early. Simon was still behind me with a bandage across his nose and a very pained expression. I couldn't help but feel a bit happy about Louis breaking his nose...he really kind of deserved it.
The bell rang and Louis...wasn't in the room. I looked around, trying not to make it obvious, but Louis' seat was empty, and I started to get nervous. Where was he? Was he alright? Did he get caught up in the halls with Niall?
The teacher came in and took attendance quickly before starting to write information on the board for an upcoming test. I was just about to ask to use the toilet so that maybe I could look for Louis when the door creaked open and Louis shuffled inside. Liam had been right, he did look worn out. His clothes sagged on him and his eyes looked red and puffy, like he had been crying. But, as far as I knew, Louis Tomlinson the bad boy never cried, or showed any emotion, for that matter. But the other Louis, the Louis that I knew, definitely had a lot of sadness bottled in him. Maybe he cracked. My eyes stayed on him, even as I heard a disapproving noise coming from Simon behind me, and then Louis looked up and caught my eye. His face turned bright red and he looked away, quickly, hurrying to his seat in silence.
"Mr. Tomlinson...nice of you to join us." The teachers said sarcastically, but Louis didn't make a sound. I knew people kept looking back at him, confused at his lack of remark, but I kept my eyes forward this time. I knew what it was like to be stared at, and I knew that I didn't like it all that much, so I figured I'd give him that respect.
________________
When class was over, Louis was up and out of the room before me, which never ever happened, because I was always the first one out. I gathered my things quickly and followed him, even though he was headed in a different direction than my class. I finally caught up to him and had to grab his arm to get his attention. He flinched and turned around his eyes trained on the floor.
"Louis...what's wrong?" I asked, quietly, fully aware that we were in school and Louis would not be willing to talk to me, but I didn't care. He shook his head and tried to walk away, but I kept a hold on his arm. "Seriously, you look, well not bad, but like...I mean..." I stumbled over my words, not sure how to say what I meant in a manner that didn't sound like an insult.
"Harry, we can't be talking..." his voice came out as barely a whisper, but he did look up at me. His eyes were red, and he was most definitely trying not to cry. I wanted to hug him and hold him tight to me and let him cry, because it sucked keeping your emotions bottled. I knew that only too well.
"Well, then let's go to a place we can talk. C'mon," I prompted, latching onto his wrist and pulling him down the hall. I was surprised with myself for being so forceful, but Louis needed to talk to someone and he wouldn't do it unless we were alone. Of course, since it was me, he might not do it anyway, but I could at least try.
We stumbled into an empty stairwell and I pulled him under the stairs, where no one could see us unless they came looking. I released his wrist gently and he chewed on his lip. He looked quite close to having a nervous breakdown, but I knew how to handle those, so I just waited for him to speak. He took several deep breaths and then, finally, spoke.
"I'm sorry. I...we can't...I mean, I can't...fuck!" he seemed to be yelling at himself for something, but he didn't seem ready to tell me, so I just offered encouragement.
"Louis, I know I haven't really known you for a long time, not as friends, anyway, but you can trust me if you need to talk about something."
He shook his head again and seemed to be having some sort of internal argument with himself. I didn't know what to do, so I lay a gentle hand on his elbow. His head came up and he looked me right in the eye, and all I could see in his eyes was fear and...was that...lust? I opened my mouth to say something else, but I didn't have the chance to, because I felt a pair of lips on mine. Louis was kissing me, quite forcefully, I might add, and he backed me up into the wall, pulling our bodies close to one another. It took me about five seconds to realize what the fuck was happening, and then it was like a light went off in my brain. I had a huge crush on Louis, and here he was, kissing me. I was kissing Louis Tomlinson. My brain connected with my mouth and I kissed him back, earning a small sigh from him as he gripped my waist in his small hands, pulling me ever closer and deepening the kiss. I felt his tongue nudging at my lips and I parted them for him, allowing his tongue to tangle with mine. Time seemed to have stopped, and the only thing in the world was Louis, Louis' soft lips on mine, Louis' hands coming up to tangle in my messy curls, just LouisLouisLouis. And then, just like that, it was gone, and Louis was backing away from me in what appeared to be horror.
"No...I fucked up...Harry, I...I'm so sorry, I can't..." He stuttered out, but as I reached for him, he ran for it. Not even back into school, just out the back door and across the grounds towards the street. I just stood there in complete and utter shock, my brain not completely registering what had just happened. I lifted my hand and felt my lips, which had been connected to Louis' just moments ago, and that's when everything snapped into place. I felt the joy for an instant before it was replaced with concern for Louis and sadness that he considered kissing me a fuck up. Still I did not move, even when I heard the door open behind me. It was only when I felt a hand on my arm that I looked around slowly, my eyes landing on Niall. That confused me, because Niall should be in gym...right. I should also be in gym.
"Been looking all over for you...teacher got worried...you alright?" He asked, his eyebrows creasing as he took in my wide eyes and my flushed cheeks and my more than likely puffy lips. I opened my mouth to say something, but only parts of it came out coherently.
"Louis...sad...brought him here...tried to talk...he...kissed me...then left?"
Niall's mouth fell open in shock and he ran to the back door, looking out across the field. Louis was long gone, but Niall seemed to sense where Louis had gone, because he turned back to me.
"Harry, are you sure he kissed you?"
"Umm...well, his lips were touching mine, his tongue was in my mouth...if that's what you're asking," I replied, still a little out of it.
"Right...let's go back to class, shall we?" Niall spoke as if the conversation we had just had hadn't happened. I cocked my head at him in curiosity, but he was busy on his phone, texting away as we walked back out into the halls and to the gym.
All through class, Niall was antsy, checking his phone, which he had shoved in his underwear, every few minutes, and getting caught twice with his hand in his pants, much to the confusion of the gym instructor. I tried to ask Niall what he was waiting for, but he wouldn't answer me and just seemed distracted the entire time.
After that class, we separated, and I went to my few other classes before lunch. At lunch, Niall was silent, constantly on his phone, and even Liam had no success in trying to get his attention. We waited till the end of the day before hearing Niall speak another word. He caught up with us at our lockers, all out of breath, and gasped,
"He's...safe...goddamn him, giving me fucking heart attacks all the fucking time."
Liam looked confused, but I nodded and pulled out my phone as I headed for the door. I didn't have to work today, so Liam and I were gonna have a lads night, and since I wasn't exactly the best with people, Liam was going to ask Niall to come along. We had planned to invite Louis as well, but because of what had happened, I doubted he would want to come. But I was going to text him anyway, just to make sure he was okay.
H: Sorry if I was a bad kisser or something...hope you're safe.
________________
Liam and Niall caught up with me, Niall looking a bit more relaxed, but Liam still looking very confused. I wanted to wait till we were at my house to tell him, though, cause I didn't know what my emotional reaction was going to be. My emotions and I were not really on the same page when it came to Louis Tomlinson. So we walked home in silence, and not a noise was made until we were all in my room sprawled on the floor and the bed.
"So...anyone want to tell me what the hell is going on?" Liam asked, and Niall looked up from the floor, directly at me.
"You better tell him, Harry. I only got there after he was gone..." he mumbled, his head falling back into his arms, and I swallowed, not sure how Liam would react to this. Liam was very protective, and would probably not approve of Louis basically making out with me and then running.
"Well, umm, I just wanted to make sure Louis was alright so I took him under the stairs, you know, cause he doesn't want to really be seen with me in school, and I was just waiting for him to talk to me and he...umm, kissed me. And it got...interesting, and then he ran." I said quickly, trying to get it over with. Liam's face went through several expressions, first surprise, then anger, and then confusion. I had a strange feeling in my chest, almost like a longing. Now that I was thinking back to the moment when we had kissed, I wanted more. I wanted Louis to kiss me like that, to touch me more than he had, to...whoa, getting ahead of myself, there.
"But...why run? I thought...well, I thought Harry and Louis were, like, getting along quite well," Liam finally questioned, looking over at Niall,who sat up and rubbed his face.
"Louis, he...well, it's complicated...he just...fuck, I can't even explain him. I don't know why he ran, but to my knowledge, he likes Harry a lot."
I could tell that Niall was holding something back, the missing puzzle piece that would fit right in and explain everything, but it was probably private between Louis and himself, and that wasn't my business, no matter how much I cared about Louis.
My phone buzzed and I picked it up, dreading what I was going to read, and as I opened the message, my heart sank and my eyes filled with tears.
L: Stay the fuck away from me.
"Harry...Haz, what's wrong?" Liam's voice rose in concern as I sniffed, trying not to cry. I handed him my phone wordlessly and he and Niall both looked at it. Liam's face went hard and his lips flattened into a line. He was pissed,most definitely. Niall looked confused and then sighed through his nose, sounding irritated.
"Guess that's that then...he hates me," I said thickly, taking my phone back and turning it over on top of my covers. I didn't want to look at it anymore. Liam was standing up, looking absolutely murderous. I wanted to tell him not to be mad, but my voice wouldn't work.
"I'm gonna fucking kill him. How dare he say something like that to you, after you've been nice to him and everything! And how dare he kiss you and mess with you and then just run away, like what the actual fuck?"
"Li, please, don't..." I squeaked, but I didn't have the strength to restrain him. Niall, however, grabbed his arm and pulled him back towards us as Liam tried to leave.
"Look, I know Louis can be a dick sometimes, but I can promise you he didn't mean what he just said...it's just...I...fucking shit, this is so stupid. I'll go talk to him."
"I'm going with you," Liam growled, shoving things in his bag and preparing to leave. Niall looked hesitant, but I swallowed and choked out,
"He's always like this...protective ass..." I tried for a weak smile and instead felt one tear slide down my cheek. I was being such an idiot, but I couldn't really control my emotions. Liam's furious expression softened and he brushed the tear away gently, giving me a hug.
"I'll be back after this, H, promise. We can do whatever you want. You'll be okay, yeah?"
"Fine. I'll be fine. Not a baby," I muttered, and Liam nodded before storming from the room. Niall turned back at the door.
"I really am sorry about him, Harry. He's a good guy, had good intentions. I'll set him straight."
"Thanks, Ni...but I doubt he will ever like me. Guys like him are basically required to hate guys like me...and I guess he isn't an exception," I answered, and looked away before I could catch Niall's look of sadness before he too was gone. I sniffed again, trying to pull myself together. I was better than this. I didn't just cry because some guy I really liked kissed me like his life depended on my lips and then ran away and told me to fuck off. At that very thought, tears filled my eyes and I buried my face in my pillow, holding myself and trying not to sob aloud. Several times, I tried to stop crying, but I just couldn't. I liked Louis a lot more than I cared to admit to myself or anyone else, and the way he just...fucked with my feelings, kissed me, made me feel like I was actually wanted, and then just told me to leave him alone, it hurt too much. All I wanted to do was help him, and he didn't want to accept my help. Why was my life such a fucking mess?