I was working in my office that was right next to Stephen's. It was convenient to be close so we could discuss problems and make plans easier. I reviewed the daily communications summary, and had endless financial and business issues to review. I enjoyed having something constructive to do, and Stephen liked having me close by whenever possible.
"Danika, there's something I've been meaning to discuss with you, love," Stephen said from the doorway. He was just standing there watching me.
"Of course," I replied and automatically rubbed my stomach. I was due any day now, and as much as childbirth terrified me I wanted the bowling ball out of my body. Stephen sauntered in and sat in a small couch next to my desk. I saved my work on my screen and turned to him, sipping some water.
"Lately you've been talking in your sleep at night, it's mostly mumbling," Stephen began and pulled out his phone. "You remember in Whitehorse when you started to... assemble... all your past dreams into a Vision?"
I leaned back in my comfortable and large office chair and said in a puzzled tone, "Of course, it was just so bizarre."
"I think you may be having those dreams again," Stephen said and rubbed the back of his neck. He pulled out his phone, "I recorded this last night and have been listening to it. I finally realized that you're not speaking English."
"Well it's the only language I know," I looked at him and tilted my head. Stephen turned on his phone, found the recording and started to play it. I was talking in my sleep, I didn't like that fact and I hoped I didn't drool.
"I don't understand the words, Stephen," I said looking from his phone to his face. "I don't remember anything about these dreams," I said letting out a breath. I just kept rubbing my stomach, my boy was going to be a June baby.
"Remember when Zeke was talking to you while you were viewing your dreams, and you told me his voice was oddly mesmerizing and you felt a compulsion to talk to him? I want you to consider talking to a hypnotherapist I know. He has an office in Everett, but I'll have him come here. I think you're having more visions." Since I didn't have any better ideas, I agreed and Stephen volunteered to make the arrangements. I had no idea what was going to happen. I wanted to understand what was happening now, and didn't know how to access any dreams, or visions, or balls of silver flames that I could hold in my hand.
I talked to Marie and Tamara, and they both told me that visiting a hypnotherapist was no different than seeing a counselor. The hypnotherapist's name was Neil Wallace, and he was a member of our pack. Stephen did a full background check on him just to make sure, then made arrangements for Mr. Wallace to meet us at the pack house. It was just easier than for us than to travel with my Guard, and Stephen felt safer. Stephen had arranged for the appointment to be in only two days, he didn't want any leaks getting out for any of my appointments, I was virtually a prisoner again but I agreed that I was a target. Zeke was a fanatic and very unpredictable and dangerous- which made me feel like a prisoner. But I didn't want to be stupid about my safety either.
The day of the appointment we were waiting in Stephen's office when Mr. Wallace knocked and opened a door, Stephen had told him to walk in when he arrived.
"Alpha, Luna," Mr. Wallace said looking at the both of us, then bowed his head for moment before looking up. He was a middle aged man wearing slacks and a sweater, and holding an older briefcase. Mr. Wallace walked closer to Stephen and held out his hand, Stephen took it looking at him hard.
"Mr. Wallace," Stephen said nodding his head.
"Please call me Neil, both of you," Neil said with a smile and remained standing.
"Alright Neil, thank you for seeing us so quickly. And thank you for traveling to the pack house. We have some security issues as you know.
"So I understand. Shall we get started?"
Stephen gestured to the chair in front of his desk, and Neil set his things down and took out a notepad and a pen.
"As I explained, Neil, the circumstances around Danika's dreams are unusual, and I will be attending all sessions. I already sent you the recording I made, our researchers can't identify the language."
"Understood, Alpha. And I need to discuss one thing before we begin. How I work is to gain your trust, and when my patient is under a state of hypnosis I often have to use touch on the arm or shoulders to reinforce the suggestions," explained Neil. "I want this understood up front because I know mates, and especially Alphas are overprotective. I can recommend several good women hypnotherapists if you want, and I completely understand."
And Neil bravely continued, "I heard what happened at the tattoo parlor."
"Touching in what way?" Stephen asked ignoring his last comment. It was obvious he didn't like to be reminded of that.
Neil stood up slowly to walk over to Stephen, "With your permission Alpha?" Neil asked him, standing still.
Stephen nodded his head and Neil continued moving his hand to start patting Stephen's shoulder and down the outside of his arm, "Often a suggestion, in your case to recall your dreams, is reinforced with physical stimulus. Just simple pats when I give a suggestion tend to keep a patient in a deep state of hypnosis." Neil shrugged and returned to his seat. "I also sometimes have the patient put their arm in front of them and make it completely stiff, and suddenly releasing it tends to make the person go into a deeper state very quickly. I need the freedom to do these things, and my Luna and you will be completely aware of them."
"Are these women hypnotherapists part of our pack?" Stephen asked.
"No," Neil said and waited. "There is another male 'wolf' hypnotherapist up in Prince George, but no females currently in our pack."
"Proceed then," Stephen agreed.
"Alpha, I can't have you growling or threatening me in any way. It will break my composite with my Luna, which is the hypnotic bond. I am understandably nervous of you."
"I understand and agree, Neil," Stephen said. I knew this would be difficult, but Stephen is looking at the larger picture. If I was having further visions then something big was happening. Stephen looked directly at Neil and continued, "Also, we will need to discuss that if you hear the Visions from Danika, it will put your life in danger. You need to choose if you want to continue, and if you do you should consider moving you and your family into the pack house for protection. I could provide you with a car and driver for you to get to your office, but you need to know there are some risks. Very real people are trying to kill Danika, and they won't hesitate to torture and kill you- or try to kidnap your family. The group we fight already threatened to kidnap Danika's family and we have extra protection in place for them." I already knew about this tightened security, although I was having trouble convincing my brother of this. I don't talk much with my brother Gavon, he's a lot older and we didn't spend much time together. But I still loved him.
Thinking about the situation, Neil sat back and was looking at both of us. Stephen had surprised him. He then said, "I know of the events at Whitehorse, I understand there are strange things happening. But my mate and I were there at your ceremony, Luna," he said looking directly at me. "I saw you glowing with silver energy, I touched your arm and felt the spark and so did my Tina. I heard your soothing words and I heard your pledge to give your life for the pack. I...felt...your strange energy, we all did. I train and do patrols with the rest of the pack, I am a warrior and will defend my pack- and my Luna.
"And my mate is also ready to give birth to our second pup, she is pregnant along with the other mated females who were there that night. We are both ready to give our lives for the sake of the pack and for the future of our pups. I will do anything you need, and will ask my mate to move here until it's safe. We will have to discuss it of course, but I'm sure she'll agree. Tina's wanted to move back for a while now." Neil looked at Stephen, and received a respectful nod from him. That was high praise from the Alpha to one of his warriors.
Neil looked at me and continued, "And the last thing before we start, this might take two or three sessions to get into a deep enough state to be able to recall the dreams. But it shouldn't take more than that, it depends on how quickly trust can be established. Any questions?"
"I have one, Neil," I said. "Can you show me a picture of your family?"
Neil smiled and took out his phone, "Here is a picture of Tina, she's holding our pup Todd who just turned two." He showed us and was beaming and so proud that Stephen and I both started to smile. "She's wonderful and really tolerant of my late hours."
I smiled at Neil, and he wrote a few things down on his notepad.
"What did you write Neil," I asked him curious.
"I have to jot down a few patient notes for your file, it's part of the standard procedure. I wrote your name, date, and how you appear relaxed, which is a good thing. And how Alpha Stephen seems to be relaxed which affects my personal safety- and is also a good thing." Neil stopped an smiled briefly at Stephen. "My records are available to you if you ever want them, we will be discussing anything of importance that goes in them."
Stephen interjected, "And they will need to be securely stored here in the Command Center."
Neil nodded at Stephen, then looked at me and asked me more questions about Whitehorse. I told him what I experienced, the Visions, Zeke's mesmerizing voice, his ability to stop time. I also told him about the silver flames and energy waves the best way I knew how, it was hard to put into words. I kept being surprised that everyone knew about that, I couldn't hardly believe it myself.
"So this prophet you saw," Neil said when I was done, "you said it was like all your dreams were assembled or put in order right in front of your eyes? I've never heard of this. Alpha, perhaps there is an Elder who knows of such powers? I'm not sure I'm the right person to help Luna access these dreams. This is more than simple memory recovery, in fact this is something beyond anything I've experienced."
Stephen looked at Neil and replied, "I've spoken to the Elders and none of them have heard of this. None of them have heard of the silver flames, or glowing skin, or pulses that shatter all the windows out of a building. Or how all the fertile women in the pack can get pregnant on the same night. No one knows anything about any of this, I refuse to believe Zeke is a wizard but can't explain how he freezes time. I believe it has something to do with the 'four energies', whatever that is. And I believe you can help us find these answers."
"If we can be warned of a building threat then we can get ready," Stephen continued. "If we can discover what this madman truly is then we can figure out how he can make us immobile, and why Danika is immune to it. I have researchers trying to determine what the geometric writing is, but they have found no references to the 'First Ones' or ancient werewolf scrolls of any sort. You are our only hope to access these dreams. The dreams of the 'Avestan Viewer' as Zeke called her." Stephen said calmly and watched the man.
Neil looked at Stephen funny, then coming to some sort of decision he nodded. He then turned the chair so he faced me and told me to close my eyes. He said he was going to simply relax me and start with an 'induction' that would bring me to a deep state of hypnosis. And after a few minutes I was feeling very relaxed. And after a few more, Neil was able to have me hold my arm straight out in front of me- it was completely stiff as a piece of iron. I was starting to feel a little disconnected to my body, it was strange. Neil told me to ignore his comments to Stephen, and explained to him that he needed to shout a command to me to startle me, I heard every word but wasn't concerned, I felt unconcerned about things. I knew he said this for Stephen's benefit, I could feel Neil's very real fear about his safety toward his Alpha, but also his respect.
Suddenly Neil shouted, "Relax!" and tapped my inner elbow to relax my arm and let it fall in my lap. Neil kept saying things about going deeper and deeper, and I felt really relaxed. Yet I heard everything he said, again It felt nice but strange.
"Now Luna, I want you to start remembering your dreams," Neil said. I started to blush but remained silent, and I heard Stephen tell him that before we met we had erotic dreams about each other. Neil then amended his statement.
"Luna, I want you to start remembering the other types of dreams you've been having about the 'Prophet' that you don't know about. These dreams are part of a puzzle, these dreams are sending you a message. You are in a safe place, and you will start to remember these dreams and what they mean. It's ok to remember these 'vision' dreams, and they will become clearer and clearer."
Neil was saying these types of things, repeating the commands in different words. And I started to see flickers or glimpses of something- but I couldn't put my finger on it.
"Tell me Luna, what are you able to see? You can describe your dreams? You are completely safe and the images are becoming clearer."
I opened my mouth to speak, then shut it. I couldn't quite see anything clearly yet. I wanted to but was unable.
"It's ok Luna, you're doing wonderfully. You will remember everything you are experiencing and seeing and we can talk about it later. You're doing excellent, and just go ahead and relax now." Neil finished and gave me the suggestion to be relaxed and feel great when I 'woke up'. He then counted from five to one and had me open my eyes.
"Luna? How do you feel?" Neil asked as I took a deep breath and smiled as I stretched.
"I feel good. But I also wanted to see my dreams."
"This is very typical and you will go further after our next session if you want to continue. We are just getting to know each other."
I nodded my head and smiled at Stephen. I told Stephen that the session felt really good like I just took a nap, like sort of staying awake with my eyes closed. We then made arrangements to see Neil the next day, and he left to go rearrange his life to help me. I was starting to have a growing respect for him and his briefcase.
After Neil left Stephen said, "I wonder if I could learn hypnosis to make you agree with me more and argue less." I just rolled my eyes at him.
****************
The next morning I took Mave to see Robby, the seven year old orphan. He was at the day care, and I knew she was apprehensive about being around the center and all the children.
"Mave, we will be with you the whole time, and you can leave if it's overwhelming. Robby is doing his homework now in his home room and I'll introduce you. I've been helping him for a few days." Mave nodded and took a deep breath, I could tell she was trying not to cry. We walked in and talked to Maria, she carefully explained some of the rules, and where the bathrooms were, and to contact her if there were any emergencies. She also explained that many children went to the public school in Hoodsport, but their parents have the option of keeping them here. Marie walked with us to the room and the children were sitting around several tables quietly doing their homework as the teacher walked around helping them. Maria said goodbye and we walked in the door, I was smiling at the teacher and nodded hello. We had met earlier and I discussed the situation.
"Hi Robby," I said as I walked up to him and sat down. "How are you?"
"Fine," he said without looking up. He was a small boy with black, curly hair and large brown eyes. He was focusing on practicing his math and sticking his tongue out the side of his mouth.
"How's that problem you're working on?"
"It's just so hard, Luna, math is just so hard," he said and looked up at me. He then glanced at Mave who was standing by the door.
"Who's she?" he asked.
"She's my friend Mave," I explained, "and she knows a lot about math and I thought she could help you today."
Robby looked at her carefully, then went back to his math problems.
I soldiered on, "Would you like her to help you with your math, Robby?"
"I guess," he said without looking up. I stood up and gestured Mave over and made her sit down. I saw her looking at him with panic in her eyes.
"I'm going to go talk to Marie for a few minutes, ok?" Robby didn't say anything and I nodded to the teacher and walked out of the room. I immediately stood next to the wall in the hall and closed my eyes and just tried to breathe. Messing with people's lives was pretty draining. What if this was a horrible mistake?
"Problems, Luna?" I heard a familiar voice. I opened my eyes and Stephen was looking at me grinning.
"No, I don't think so."
"Will they be alright?" he asked, actually asking if I was going to be alright. I walked to the door and peeked in with Stephen looking over my shoulder. The teacher smiled at us, and I saw Mave was helping Robby solve his homework. Her eyes weren't so teary, and she reached out her hand to smooth his hair out of his eyes, and pulled back at the last second. I backed away and pushed Stephen out into the hall.
"I think they'll be fine," I said and we walked back to the entrance so I could talk to Marie. We would work together to help those two, most of being a Luna was directing people and letting them carry out their assigned jobs. Marie had agreed to handle the details of getting Robby situated with Mave, and I would check in occasionally. It reminded me of a slower version of Stephen's ops.
My next session with Neil that afternoon was more intense. I was able to go into a deeper state of hypnosis with him this time, and he guided me to my hidden dreams. It was still so weird that I was having them. He started by having me view the ones I had already seen, and when I spoke of the strange 'Prophet' with the glowing fire, my voice changed. I could feel it change and grow deeper with a foreign accent, and I felt strange all over.
And when I got to my current dreams I felt like I was on a hot beach with warm, turquoise water right in front of me. Only I felt danger, I felt...someone planning sinister with dark schemes. I felt there were large groups of men who were aligned to destroy many people and things. Neil continuously calmed me down and brought me back to a safe place, then pressed me to continue on.
Suddenly it all clicked, and I started to see another movie. This movie involved a large, handsome man with medium blonde hair holding a machine gun while standing under a palm tree in the shady sand. Neil had me describe the movie out loud. I felt my voice change with each character.
'Blondie' said, "They must be killed or they'll reveal our plans. It can't be helped, just make it look like an accident."
The second man standing next to him was younger and had straight brown hair down to his shoulders, and I didn't see a weapon. "I don't like it Simon, it's too risky and they're too public. And I don't like killing children."
'Simon' turned and looked at the younger man, there was no emotion or compassion in his eyes. It was like he was a shark or a lizard without emotion. "This is no time to hesitate or all we've worked for will be lost. Do you want to be the one to tell Zeke that we've failed? You won't survive that conversation, I guarantee it. Just 'do' the Meriwether family, just make them disappear like we talked about." The younger man nodded his head reluctantly, turned around and walked away.
The scene immediately shifted to another place with heat waves coming off the desert sand. This new place felt ancient, but was near a pool or pond of water. The prophet that I saw last time named Zend was sitting under the shade of a palm tree and a boy about eight with dark hair and eyes ran up to him holding a scroll.
"This is from the Master," the boy bowed and handed Zend the scroll. Zend gestured for him to go, but the boy only ran a short way and ducked behind a tree. The prophet opened the scroll and I could make out a few words in the strange geometric language, 'machine', 'death', and 'avesta'. The man got up and walked away in a hurry, clutching the scroll. He walked across a courtyard and entered a large temple, he kept walking down the main corridor to the back of the huge colonnaded room and around behind a large statue of a stiff looking regal man, it wasn't Egyptian but shared some features. There was a dark stairway leading down, and Zend kept walking, sure of his footsteps.
When he reached the bottom he walked up to an old man who was working on something delicate on a bench, with a strange lamp beside him illuminating the room in a strange greenish-light. It was like things in this time were both ancient and more advanced.
Zend threw the scroll on the table and shouted, "Master, you can't be serious!"
"Never shout at me, slave!" the old man screamed in a fury. "You know nothing, you are nothing, and you will complete my designs!"
"Never!" Zend shouted back.
"You don't want to cross me, slave. You know what I'll do." Zend stood there, barely able to contain his own building fury. He turned and left the room quickly, and the old man got up slower and chased after him, screaming in a rage. A moment later the boy snuck in the room and opened the scroll, holding it up. And I got a chance to view the image, it was the schematics to build a small, complex machine that I was shown in my first vision. The boy's eyes lit up as he quickly re-rolled the scroll and ran out the other way carrying it in his hand, disappearing in the darkness of a narrow hallway.
In a flash my vision zoomed 'backwards' so it encompassed the entire region, it just looked like one huge desert. The vision then zoomed skyward, into space and toward something horrifying. I was too stunned to say or do anything, I felt real gut-wrenching fear and then I was shown image after image of what Death planned to do with the machine. The horror and shock was too much to bear and I heard myself screaming.
"Danika!" Neil shouted at me. "Return to this time NOW!" He tapped my shoulder and continued to shout at me to return to the office, return to our time. I felt myself being sort of sucked or pulled back by Neil against a huge torrential current that was pulling me hard toward this huge black cloud in space. But I felt myself obeying Neil and with a tremendous effort returned my consciousness to the sofa in Stephen's office. I remained in a trance.
I then heard Neil breathing loudly and Stephen growling, which was making Neil very frightened. I just sat there silently crying, but glad to be away from... that.
Neil asked me in a loud voice, "Are you alright Luna?"
I responded a monotone "No."
"What happened to you?" Neil asked but I remained silent. I was having a hard time processing what I saw and was breathing heavy.
"What are the plans you saw, Danika?"
I thought it was a strange question but answered without hesitation, "The 'opposite' of everything. This machine would harness the reflected and focused sun's rays and be able to create 'opposite' matter. And once started the storm of the particles would devour anything they came in contact with."
"So this is a type of reactor?"
"In a sense, but time is involved."
"What happened to it? Was it built?"
"Only partially," I answered in a monotone voice. "The partial weapon can stop time by creating a type of temporal whirlpool around itself."
"Is this what Zeke uses?" Neil continued after thinking for a moment.
"Yes, it looks like magic but is only a component of the machine."
"Do you know where the other part of the machine is?"
"Yes."
Sighing, Neil asked gently, "Where is it Danika?" I remained silent.
"Do you know where the machine is?"
"Yes."
"Tell us where it is," Neil pressed a little harder. And I continued to remain silent.
"Why won't you tell us, Danika?" Neil asked, trying a different tack.
"BECAUSE YOU WILL DIE!" I shouted. And then a little calmer I stammered still in a trance, "A-anyone who knows will d-die. Both your sons will die if I tell you, your f-family, our p-pack. It is certain death. The silent black cloud of Death."
Neil was silent for a moment. "Danika, I will bring you back to your normal consciousness in a moment, and I want you to clearly remember everything you've seen. I want you to remember every picture, every word, every character, every phrase- every single thing about your visions and this session. This is important, do you understand?"
"Yes," I replied. And Neil started to count from five to one and told me I would feel wonderful and energized. And when I opened my eyes I smiled, I enjoyed these sessions since I felt so relaxed and good. And then I remembered the vision and frowned in horror. All I could see was the picture of the machine and that horrible black cloud in space- it was far more than a cloud. I now knew what this was all about- and I felt the chill of Death come near me. I immediately stood up and backed away until I hit the wall by the door, shaking my head and holding my hands out. I actually felt trapped in my visions like Zeke had predicted.
Stephen was next to me in a flash and held me. I just swatted at him and was going to scream when he tapped my face and shouted my name.
"Danika! Snap out of it love, come on- snap out of it!" And then I focused and saw his face and threw my arms around him and started to sob hysterically. He just picked me up and sat down on the sofa cradling me on his lap.
"Shhh, it's alright love, it's alright. We'll solve this together, it's alright. You're safe now, I'll keep you safe." I slowly calmed myself down and stopped sobbing. My face was wet, nose runny, and my face all blotchy. Neil handed me a tissue.
"You don't understand, Stephen. You don't understand." He'd never seen me like this, he didn't understand the depth of my horror. I kept shaking my head 'no', I wanted to scramble away and lead the darkness away from them. I had to protect them, I pledged my life to protect them. Stephen took my face in both of his hands to hold it still.
"Danika, SPEAK!" he commanded with his Alpha tone. It was mesmerizing like Zeke's voice was, and it pulled me back to this room.
I focused on his face, I was near hysterical. "How can you fight 'Death', Stephen? I saw 'It', I saw the monster that is 'Death'. I felt it and saw the heart of Death, and it does not beat- there is no rhythm. Death does not breathe, Stephen, Death is such a cold, cold fury. Death has no flames! None! I have to lead it away. Lead it away to keep you safe, keep everyone safe." I was panting hard now reliving the visions, I just couldn't catch my breath. I couldn't get air in my lungs. Neil took a paper bag out of his briefcase and handed it to Stephen. Stephen opened it and held it over my nose and mouth, then looked at Neil who just shrugged, silently saying 'you never know when you'll need a paper bag'.
Stephen then focused back on me. "Love, breathe in and breathe out. That's it, hold the bag and breathe in and out." And we sat there until I could breathe. "Tell me, love, tell me what you saw."
I stared at him in horror, and shouted 'NO!'
Stephen held my face and commanded me, "Tell me NOW, Danika!" I looked at his face as my own twisted in absolute terror and revulsion. I couldn't, I just couldn't.
Stephen shouted again and slapped my face a little- I was in shock. "NOW! Show your Alpha what you saw!"
I didn't want to but his voice compelled me in a strange way- I dropped my mind shields so they both could feel me, see the Thing beyond horror, the most icy of places, the most blackest void. I let them feel this, and then I showed them my series of images, one after the other after the other and the temperature in the room fell like an icy fog. I felt surrounded by ice and shivered, but I refused to black out.
And Stephen put our hands over my belly and commanded me again, "Danika, STOP and feel this!" I heard his voice penetrate through my terror, through the horrible, horrible images I had of the tortures of 'Death'- and I felt my son's heartbeat. I felt the warmth penetrate my fingers. It was fast and strong, my boy- I loved my pup.
"Danika, keep your blocks up for the love of god!" Stephen commanded me, he didn't want me to broadcast this to the pack and I was slipping. The entire pack was on alert now, I had unknowingly sent out an alert and I was being flooded with questions. Stephen commanded them all to 'Be quiet!' and there was silence.
Stephen was deadly serious now and in full Alpha mode, "Danika, feel the heartbeat of our SON! Feel the life and warmth and love he already has for you." Stephen held my hand on my belly and I slowly regained my senses. Both Neil and Stephen were shaken, I showed them the images. They asked and I showed them the depravity that is 'Death'. They pushed and pushed and pushed- and I showed them. I feel horrible that I showed them, and I couldn't shake the images I had seen.
"Return, love, return here. Bring your mind back, feel your body, feel the second heartbeat inside of you, feel my heat, feel the life here. Come back, love, come back," Stephen continued in his Alpha tone. I looked at him and raised my shaking hand to touch his cheek.
"But Stephen, it was..."
"I know! I know, love, I know. But you have to use all of our training to focus on my voice, to focus on our boy's heartbeat. Focus, love, focus on those two things, I command it! Focus on waking up in the morning with my arms around you, focus on running through the woods side by side, focus on our kisses, and the hot electricity we feel every time we touch. Focus on life, Danika. Focus on here, breathe slowly. Focus on the heartbeat of life, Danika."
I looked at Stephen and nodded. I still looked around wildly, but felt Stephen's hand on mine, felt the heartbeat of my son. My precious boy, which reminded me of what Mave said. I nodded to him again and tears came in my eyes, but it was a good release from the horror of my vision that I shared with them. I hoped they were strong enough, and they both knew that I would try to lead 'Death' away from them. Stephen hugged me tighter.
"No love, you will not run away, you cannot lead 'It' away. We are beyond that now, this is no game and we will face this together. You cannot fight this alone, we are stronger together, and I would die without you. Remember that, Mate! And remember your son." I looked at Stephen and knew he was right, and I nodded.
Stephen continued, "You will never lead 'It' away alone, never! Understood?" I looked at him and fought an internal battle. I knew there was a way to lead 'Death' away from the pack, but it would ultimately doom us all if I was captured. I looked at him in the eyes and slowly nodded my agreement, and knew we would talk more about this later.
"Where there is destruction, there is also beauty," Stephen continued taking a deep breath. "Where there is ugliness and torture, there is love and understanding. There are always opposites, love. Always. There is a way to win, Danika, and we will find it together. I promise you because it has to be."
I then looked at Neil and he looked a little grey and was sweating heavily. "I'm so sorry Neil, I should have shielded you from that- I couldn't hold it back. I did try to shield you from some of it, I felt it far worse."
Neil didn't say anything, he was fighting his own internal battle. Luckily they didn't experience the same intensity that I felt, but it was bad enough. Seeing the face of Death is something too horrible to describe fully, to feel such an icy fury, to feel such a vacuum of compassion, to feel the hatred of all things living. It's almost too much to bear if you have nothing to live for, and I had plenty to live for.
Stephen took a few moments to reassure the pack that their Luna was ok. He explained that my hormones were wonky and I had an anxiety attack. I really didn't appreciate the lie, I didn't want to be known as unreliable and hormonal. But I guess it was better than seeing the machine of Death, the breath of oblivion. It took Neil a little time to be able to leave the office, I really didn't know if I'd see him again. Only time would tell. I knew he now had to stay in the pack house with his family, what I had shown him made him a target, and I was sorry to put such a good man in harm's way.
And at the same time I was so glad to share it with Stephen. He didn't look so good either, but maybe his strong wolf helped soften the blow. Maybe his wolf fought against Death so ferociously that it helped Stephen cope with the visions of the apocalypse and horror I saw. The horror of watching the very fabric of the universe, of our world being torn apart by the very machine Zeke was trying to assemble. And Zeke obviously had figured some of it out. For Death was far more than skeleton cartoons, it was not anything like Halloween decorations- Death was a force, a pulsing, intelligent, predatory force. Bent on destruction, faceless, potent, timeless, and void of anything alive. The writhing hatred spewing from the terrible energies sucked all life, twisted all hope into deep wells of despair.
But Death could be fought yet never conquered, Death had an 'Achilles heel'- and it was a combination of everything decent in the world. I had seen this too, I had seen the fog of Death 'pause' and recoil at the activities surrounding communities and self-LESS-ness. Death lurked, but couldn't enter the 'light'. Bonds of friendship and love were as real as Death, and I had shown Stephen and Neil images of those things as well.
That also explained why Zeke was so fanatical about getting all the pieces of the ancient machine. He wanted to stop the destruction of our world, but he wanted to assemble the horrid Machine and try to control it. But I knew it had to be destroyed completely, along with any plans. The Avesta Machine was far more than mere components, it was surrounded by a potent, dark, intelligent force.
Stephen held me and stroked my hair, and kept our hands pressed to my belly. "Love, we'll discuss this later- in the sunshine would be best I think. Where we can see growing things, where we can see the cycles, and the clear sky, and hear the laughter of children. I think we should wait to talk about this in the sunshine." I just nodded my head, I was still horrified. It's the only word I could come up with.
"I'm tired, Stephen, I want to go to bed. Will you hold me for a while? I need to feel your heat, and I need to feel your heartbeat."
"Always," is all he said.
**End of chapter. Hypnosis is a wonderful counseling method in the 'real' world, and is really successful in treating anxieties, pain control, and behavior changes. And we all use self-hypnosis when we meditate, pray, and concentrate- it's a natural thing to do and doesn't have side effects.
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Thanks, Olympic Wolf