Bonsai yawned and slung his bag on his shoulder while walking drowsily towards the Black Dragon's turf. It was early, but he'd rather be at school than watch the chaos that would unfold once his two older brothers wake up and find out what Battou did to their sports trophies. When he woke up and saw that the kid used the trophy parts like lego blocks and attempted to build some incromprehensible crap out of it, he moved in lightning speed and dropped Battou off the pre-school near their house before running towards InterSAT.
He opened the door to their turf and stopped on his tracks when he saw the two people seated in one of the broken chairs at the corner. Great. Another thing he didn't want to deal with in that early morning.
"Yo", Picaro greeted. He just grunted in response and directed his gaze to the girl beside his gang mate.
"Hi Bonsai", Namee greeted cheerfully.
"Hey", Bonsai approached the two and sat at the edge of the broken table near them, setting his bag beside him. He then dragged his gaze at Picaro's sketchbook and grimaced when he noticed that he was drawing Namee's portrait. "Are you going to paint Cheng wearing only a necklace?"
"Shut up", Picaro muttered without glancing at him, his eyes focused on the sketchbook as he moved his hand carefully with each stroke of the pencil.
"So you two are together together?" He asked.
"Yes", Namee responded enthusiastically.
"Uh-huh. Congrats", he stated boredly.
Namee giggled and rested her head on Picaro's shoulder. "Picaro told me you're not into relationship and stuff. Why? I think you will be a good boyfri-..."
"Whoah! Hold it, woman", Bonsai's eyes widened in disbelief. "Picaro, control your girl."
"You're so cute", Namee rose from her seat and strode towards him, leaning on the edge of the table where Bonsai was seated. "Having a girlfriend is fun!"
"In what parallel universe is that statement correct, may I ask?"
"What is it that you don't like about girls, Bonsai?"
Picaro smiled inwardly, knowing that a battle of galactic proportion was about to commence.
"Oh, I don't know. Maybe because you girls flip out every five minutes and when asked what's wrong, you'll say 'Nothing' and expect us poor guys to have some magical power to know what the actual fuck is wrong. And when a guy is quiet, you girls think all weird shit when in fact, we just want to have a silent moment to think what we want to eat for dinner. Not to mention the fact that when you girls are mad, you tend to bring up something that we have done on Sunday of February 25, year 2009 10:28pm and rub it on our faces. And you girls turn into a monster when you have your period!"
Namee eyed him while smirking, unabashed by Bonsai's words. She flipped her hair and crossed her arms over her chest before speaking, "First, when a girl said nothing is wrong and you think that something is actually wrong, then it probably means one thing, you are the issue. When we say 'Nothing', that's actually a code for 'Get the fuck off my face before I claw your eyes out.' We're actually giving you the signal to escape because we are compassionate beings. Second, if you are quiet, we don't think weird shit. We enjoy silence as much as you do. And when we're mad, yes we bring up past mistakes but it just shows how much we care." Bonsai rolled his eyes as Namee continued, "Lastly, yes, we're monsters when we have our period and we're entitled to that. Can you just imagine if you have blood leaking in your private part for three to five days, not to mention the menstrual cramps that make you wish for your immediate death?"
"Woman, you're twisted", Bonsai said in disgust.
"I'll take that as a compliment", Namee smiled at him and gently patted his cheek, making Bonsai groan in protest.
"Have you heard the news about Locker X?" Picaro asked, grabbing their attention.
"What news?"
"The Claws gang was asked by our leader to return the 'protection fee' they got from the six marked students."
Bonsai jumped from the table and slumped on the floor facing Picaro. "Did they retaliate? Are we going to crush them again? Yee-haw!" He pumped his fist in the air excitedly.
"No, they returned the money as instructed by Stone."
"Boo. Boring."
"And Jiro asked Spade to tell the gangs to help out the InterSAT students and be vigilant especially those with turfs near the gates. If an outside gang attacks one of our own, even the Black Dragons are going to retaliate."
"Our Ice leader has spoken", Bonsai grinned.
"Were all those marked by Locker X get attacked only outside of our school?" Namee asked curiously.
"Yes. But we don't know if that will always be the case. Our hunch is that someone from the inside is working with the outside gang to mark the lockers and give them a tip-off of where the student is", Picaro replied.
"I see. Anyway, I need to go to my classroom", Namee said, grabbing her bag. "It's on the other building, so it's a few minutes walk. I'll see you later, Picaro!"
Picaro just nodded, still busy with his drawing.
"Bye, Bonsai!" She waved and headed towards the door.
"Hey, wait", Bonsai called out. Namee had already stepped outside, so she just reclined her back while holding on the door frame to check what Bonsai wanted to say.
"Yes?"
Instead of answering her, Bonsai kicked Picaro's feet and told him something. The tall guy nodded and abandoned his sketchbook, walking towards Namee.
"What's the matter?" The girl asked as Picaro placed his hand on the small of her back and ushered her to the hallway.
"He just reminded me to check on your locker and make sure you're not marked. So, we'll head to your locker first before you go to your classroom."
"Wow. That's very thoughtful of him", Namee arched her eyebrows in awe.
"I hope you didn't get offended with what he said about girls. Bonsai complains a lot and he makes a fuss about everything, but he's a nice guy."
"Is Locker X something that even girls should be cautious about? I mean, the ones marked are all guys, right?"
"We can't be too sure", Picaro mumbled. At the back of his mind, he couldn't help but think that the one girl who was in most danger of being marked was the girl who was with the strongest gangster in InterSAT.
***
Dara was sitting in one of the round tables outside of the Arts Building when she saw Jiro and some of the Black Dragons descending the stairs. They walked past her and as usual, Jiro didn't even glance at her, his eyes focused forward as they strode towards the direction of the library. She heard that Jiro had been discussing something with Spade regarding Locker X, and she could only assume they were heading at the Sparrow gang's turf.
She heaved a deep sigh and rested her head on her folded arms on the table as she recalled her heated conversation with him.
I'm in between heaven and hell, Dara.
I'm scared that I will break you just like Riko and Stone. For me, you're more precious than what we have.
We cannot build a future with what I am.
I told you I love you...you don't have a fucking clue how much.
Her heart ached by just thinking about his words. He had been enduring so much, worrying for her and carrying his past. No wonder he had a somber expression when he talked about the future he wanted when they were in the library. No wonder he seemed quite bothered lately.
Jiro was very critical of himself, and she now fully understood why. His past mistakes kept haunting him, and it was now even obscuring his future...and the future he wanted with her. Dara bit her bottom lip, her chest constricting while recalling Jiro's pained gaze when he was saying those things. I told you I love you...you don't have a fucking clue how much. She had been telling it to her all along - how much she meant to him, how much he cared. She had been blinded by her insecurities that she failed to recognize how he tried to show his love in his own way. She meant a lot to Jiro. She meant so much that he even pleaded for her to ask him to stay.
Suddenly, she felt a hand gently stroking her hair. She lifted her eyes and saw Bullet standing behind her wearing a serious expression on his face. He took a seat beside her and gave her a small smile. "Are you okay?" He asked.
"Yes. How about you? How's your wound?" Dara sat up and leaned closer, inspecting his face.
"I'm fine. It's a small cut so it'll heal soon."
"I'm really sorry for what Jiro did. He just misunderstood us."
Bullet turned around his seat and reclined, his back leaning against the edge of the round table. "Don't worry about it", he said and glanced at her. "Can I ask you something, munchkin?"
"Sure."
Bullet tore his gaze off her and stared faraway. "Are you happy with Jiro?"
"Of course, I am", came her immediate reply. "Why do you ask?"
"You don't seem happy with him. And I can't help but think if I will be better for you", he mumbled, as if he was telling it more to himself. "But then again, I'm not the one you like, that's why I decided to let you go and support you with your choice...even if it's hard."
"Bullet", Dara said in a quiet voice. "This is not about if I'm happy with Jiro or not, because even if I'm not with him, I still see you as a friend", she said carefully. "I'm sorry."
A bitter laugh escaped his lips before turning his head towards her. "It's okay, munchkin. I told you I can live with this. But you know what will help me? It's when I see that you're really happy with him."
Dara folded her arms on the table and rested her chin on it, mulling over things. "I admit, there are a lot of things that are holding us back, but I know we'll get through all of it. His love is not easy to understand, but he's trying his best to show it. I just have to open my eyes and look closely, and try to listen to him harder as well so I won't miss anything. It feels like he's gradually giving me each piece of a puzzle and at times, I get too impatient because I can't see where it's going. But when the pieces of the puzzle finally fit together and I see a tiny glimpse of the full picture, I know it's going to be a beautiful one."
Bullet did not utter a word and watched the girl with a serious and thoughtful gaze, a spike of admiration apparent in his eyes. Jiro was one hell of a lucky bastard to have found a girl who embraces what he could give, shelving her discomfort and uncertainty with the belief that everything would turn into something wonderful.
"It's stupid, isn't it?" Dara asked, turning her head to face him.
"Very", Bullet said smugly while cupping his chin with his palm. "I oppose to everything! Break up with him", he playfully said.
"Moron", she giggled and lightly pushed him by the shoulder.
Bullet smiled at her before continuing, "You have to complain once in a while so he'll know, munchkin. It's not fair that you're the only one coping up with him."
"Don't worry. I do that when he's being unreasonable."
"Good. And while we're at it, you should also punch him if he's being a brat. Like WHAPACK! Die, idiot!" Bullet punched the air for demonstration, and the two laughed merrily.
In a distance, concealed behind a tree, Jiro watched the two with an impassive expression on his face. He stared at Dara's happy smile, wondering when was the last time he saw it. When Bullet extended his arm and ruffled her hair, the growing discomfort in the pit of his stomach became unbearable, so he turned around and headed to where his gang was. One thought lingered in his mind - Bullet could easily make her smile. In front of him, however, she struggled to conceal her tears.
***
Dara's ears were falling from listening to Namee gushing about the greatness that is Pierre Carlo Rostelli. She was on the way to the lockers before her next class and she had come across her friend on the hallway, so she was forced to listen to her story on how the two finally became a couple. She was happy for her, honestly. But she couldn't keep up with Namee's 'feels' explosion, which had now reached new heights.
"I'm telling you, I was shocked when he told me he likes me too. I was fully prepared for the heartbreak and BAM! He said, 'When I kissed you, it felt so right. I didn't give much thought about it because it just came out naturally. I was a fool for not realizing it before you did. I like you too, Namee.' Oh my Goddddd, hold me friend! Hold meee!" Namee shrieked and hugged Dara.
"All right, all right. Now, please behave", Dara said, prying her arms off her. She glanced at her friend and noticed the bright expression on her face. "I'm really happy for both of you", she mumbled. "Picaro is a good guy and you're a great girl. Both of you are brave enough to face what you feel and to voice it out. You deserve this, Namee."
"Okay, stop. You're going to make me cry", Namee said, fanning her eyes with her hands. Both of them stopped on their tracks when they both caught sight of a familiar girl who just exited one of the classrooms and walked past them.
"Takizawa is back", Namee stated, following the girl with her gaze.
"I guess she is", Dara mumbled. They continued walking slowly while discussing about the girl.
"Does this mean you have to be on your toes again in case she pulls some funky shit to win Jiro over?" Namee asked. "Ugh! I'm sorry, I know I'm being mean but whenever I see her, the urge to roll my eyes fifty thousand times is strong."
"She loves him so much", Dara said. She had already told Namee that Riko tried to kill herself and texted Jiro a message when she did that. Her friend was really furious, telling her that using emotional blackmail was low. "I feel sorry for her, to be honest. The way she handles it is wrong, but it's still love nonetheless."
"That again! You are so nice, I sometimes want to strangle you."
"It's just that..." Dara heaved a deep sigh before continuing, "I see a little bit of myself in her. The time when Jiro and I were not dating and I was unsure of how he felt about me, it was painful. Every day when I see him, I felt like I was drowning and he was my only source of breath. I was thankful and happy with what little air that he could give me, and when he didn't, it was slowly and painfully killing me. Riko must be feeling worse than that, because she had no one to turn to." Dara looked at her friend and smiled gratefully, "I have you and Bullet. When it becomes unbearable, I have you guys to keep me sane... or insane, whatever. You guys are crazy." They both chuckled as they drew nearer to the line of lockers.
When their laughter died down, Namee stared at her friend and slightly tilted her head while smiling. "You also have to give credit to yourself, Dara. I can say that your parents taught you well. You have every right to be angry and lash at her but you chose to see things in her eyes. Your attitude on things is the beauty of your character."
"Oh, stop it. You know I will throw a brick at her face if she attaches herself to Jiro again."
"Go ahead, girl friend. I'll even help you in hiding her body", Namee remarked and waved her hand nonchalantly.
They finally reached the lockers, but Namee continued walking. "I'll see you later, Dara. I already got my books from my locker earlier", she said.
"All right", Dara bade goodbye and stood in front of her locker. She was about to open it when she saw Jiro and his gang walking along the hallway, probably heading to the Black Dragon's turf. She wondered if he already saw Riko and if the two talked, but she decided to push that thought aside.
The low squeals and gushing of the girls around filled the air as the gang passed by them, and she could only shake her head in amusement. Jiro had not dropped by her house, and they hadn't talked after their confrontation. He seemed to be in a bad mood, so she chose to forego talking to him until he settled everything.
Dara opened the locker and pulled the books she needed for the afternoon classes. Her hand froze when she noticed something at the corner of her eyes. She slowly turned her head and gasped when she saw the X mark at her locker door. With a swift movement, Dara shut the locker, her eyes widening in shock and her heart beating in a fast pace.
She was marked. Why her? Who did it? A lot of questions filled her mind as she stood frozen on her spot, her breathing becoming ragged. She spun around and weakly leaned her back against the lockers. When she saw Jiro about to walk past her, her hand shot forward, grabbing his hand and surprising the students who were ogling at him. Jiro stopped and eyed her while Dara hurriedly retracted her hand in embarrassment. He waved his gang mates to go ahead before stepping towards the girl, studying her face. "Something wrong?" He asked.
'Calm down', Dara told herself. It must be a mistake. "N-Nothing. Uhm..." She averted her gaze tentatively before looking back at him. "I heard you're talking to Spade about Locker X. How did it go?"
Jiro frowned suspiciously at her before answering, "Nothing conclusive. Why?"
"Well...I was just curious. I heard that those with marked lockers were...attacked outside of our school", she breathed deeply to steady her voice, careful not to let Jiro notice that she was scared. "So, it means they are safe inside InterSAT because the other gangs would not just stand by if the outside gang attacks the marked students, right?"
"Yes. But then again, the outside gang probably has someone inside InterSAT who is marking the lockers. Why are you asking this, Ramirez?" Jiro took another step forward while Dara pressed her back against the lockers behind her.
She's marked. Should she tell him? But Jiro would surely make a huge fuss.
"Are you going to walk me home later?" She asked.
"Yes. You're not answering my question, Ramirez."
Dara pondered for a moment, deciding that it would be best to just tell him later when they reached her house. She was within the safety of InterSAT anyway, so nothing could happen to her.
"I'm just curious because you seemed busy with it, which is why we haven't got the chance to talk", Dara said after a while.
"We already talked", Jiro stated flatly.
"You haven't heard what I have to say."
He sighed and gave her a long and serious gaze before nodding. "Later", he brought his hand on her waist and gave her a light squeeze before striding away. As soon as he left, Dara released the breath she didn't realize she was holding and roamed her eyes around, wondering who was marking the lockers.
***
The Locker X victims are mostly guys, so why was she marked? Was it because of Jiro?
"Dara."
But that's absurd. What are they going to do to her? Beat her up? Oh God, that would totally hurt.
"DARA!" The strap of her bag was yanked from behind, causing her to stagger backwards. She spun around and faced Namee, giving her a questioning look. She had been spacing out the rest of the afternoon, still troubled that she received the X mark.
"Where are you going? We're already here", Namee pointed at the line of lockers where most of the students are huddled since it was already the end of the class.
"Oh", she mumbled and followed Namee who hurriedly opened her locker and shoved her things inside. She just stood rigidly on her spot, waiting for her friend to finish.
"I'll go ahead. Picaro is waiting for me", Namee said and was about to leave when she noticed her friend's odd expression. "What's the matter?"
"Nothing."
"It's Takizawa isn't it? Did she approach Jiro again? How many bricks do you need?"
"No. Jeez, just go", Dara smiled at her friend and waved her away. "Get out of here, psycho."
"Okay! Ta-ta!" Namee exclaimed cheerfully and walked away while singing, leaving Dara behind. After inhaling deeply, Dara turned towards her locker and frowned, thinking how she'd tell Jiro about the mark. She opened her locker partially and stacked her books in her hand. With quick movements, she opened it enough for her to shove her books inside and was about to shut it close when a hand with a dragon tattoo gripped the edge of the locker door and pulled it open. She gasped in surprise and spun around, almost colliding with Jiro's chest.
His eyes were settled on the X mark in her locker, his jaws clenching with rage. Slowly, he shifted his gaze at her. His solid, cold stare was unsettling, making her flinch.
"When did you get this mark?" He asked gruffly, his voice laced with danger.
"Jiro, don't-..."
"WHEN?" Jiro repeated harshly, startling the students around them.
"I-I found out a while ago, before the afternoon classes", she answered. Shit. She should have lied. She parted her mouth to speak and closed it again when she witnessed the wave of fury across his face, sending shivers down her spine. It was a dark rage that she never wanted to see from him; an undeniable thirst to cause pain and destroy something or someone.
Suddenly, Jiro lunged to the side and pushed a student forcefully against the line of lockers, grabbing his neck. "Is it you? You made this mark?" He huffed furiously.
"N-No", the guy stuttered, gasping for breath. The other students backed away in fright, watching the leader of the Black Dragons lose his temper.
"JIRO! Cut it out!" Dara pulled his arm, letting the guy whose only fault was that his locker was near hers escape.
Jiro turned around and faced the others, his eyebrows deeply furrowed. "WHO FUCKING DID THIS?!" He pointed at Dara's locker while slowly striding towards the other students who were already scampering away. "WHO DID THIS?!" He growled angrily, his heart thundering inside his chest. He was about to take another step forward when Dara blocked his path, wrapping her arms around him.
"Stop."
"RAMIREZ!"
"Stop it. I'm fine", Dara said softly.
"DAMN IT!" He cursed and placed his hands on her shoulders, pushing her away slightly. He drew quick breaths and gazed down at Dara, the intensity of his stare drilling through her. "You were walking around the school when you know you're marked? What if something happened to you?" His grip on her shoulders tightened a bit, his chest constricting with a mixture of anger and worry. "What if I have a shift in my part-time job and I couldn't walk you home? What if you were attacked when-... SHIT!" Jiro lets go of her shoulders and shut his eyes firmly before opening them again, his face still contorted with rage. He then turned to the side and kicked the nearest locker while a string of curses escaped his lips.
"Jiro, come on. Let's just go home", Dara held his arm, trying to pull him away, but the guy remained rooted on his spot. He stared at her deeply, his face drawn with concern.
"If something happens to you-..." Jiro muttered in a strained voice.
"It must be a mistake. Let's just talk at my house. Please, Jiro. Let's go", Dara pleaded.
He cast his eyes at the other students and glared at them furiously. "Whoever did this, you better fucking hide", he declared in a threatening tone before grabbing Dara's hand and storming away.
***
"Damn it", Jiro muttered as he stood in her living room, his back facing her, while Dara stood in a near distance, unable to speak. "SHIT!" He exclaimed angrily and marched towards her, his eyes still blazing with fury. "I will fucking find out whoever is behind this, Ramirez. And once I get my hands on him, I won't stop even if he bleeds...even if he begs", he hissed between gritted teeth.
"Don't do it, Jiro", Dara shook her head, her somber gaze directed towards the guy who was finding it hard to control his anger.
"Whoever this asshole is, he threatened you. HE MARKED YOU", his chest was heaving up and down with each angry breath, his eyes mirroring his rage. "The other students who were marked, do you know what those bastards from the outside gang did to them? God, Ramirez. I might kill someone if somebody dares to do that to you", he said in a tight voice. "I swear, they better not try."
"Stop saying those things", Dara pleaded.
Jiro rubbed his face with his palms in frustration and clicked his tongue before sitting on the couch, cracking his knuckles to calm himself even though he knows it was futile. The rage and worry was burning inside him, every vein in his body screaming for violence. He shifted his gaze when Dara slumped on the floor in front of him and placed her hands on top of his, making him look at her.
"Hey", she said softly, making his chest constrict once again with the gentleness of her voice. If something happens to her... He cut off the thought immediately. It terrified him. "Let's go out for a walk. You need some fresh air", she continued.
He stared at her for a long moment and clasped his hand with hers, squeezing it as if he wanted to tell her something but decided against it. He then stood up and headed towards the door, their hands still linked together.
A stony silence accompanied their walk as they roamed aimlessly. Jiro never let go of her hand, his grip becoming firm from time to time while his eyes were steadily focused forward, lost in his own thoughts. Dara knew he was still worried about her being the eleventh marked student of Locker X on top of being bothered by what he revealed to her the last time they talked, so she just chose to maintain her silence as well.
She heaved a deep sigh and gave his hand a light squeeze, which he didn't seem to notice. The sun was already setting and the surrounding was becoming dim, causing the lamp posts to automatically switch on. When they were about to walk past the neighborhood playground, Dara halted her steps and tugged Jiro's hand.
"Let's sit here for a while", she mumbled.
Jiro did not utter a word and followed her towards the playground. They sat on the swing and rocked back and forth, the steady buzz of the vehicles and the people walking by fading in the background. They were on their own world, enveloped with silence and surrounded by the scent of old steel.
Dara roamed her eyes on the playground which brought happiness to kids - kids who couldn't wait to grow up and spread their wings. She settled her gaze on the slide and recalled the days when she was young and afraid, when the height of the slide was too intimidating that she couldn't bring herself to climb it. She would often watch as her playmates merrily take turns to slide down and run around to climb again, smiling at them to hide her fear while questioning herself why she couldn't do it. Then, one day, the height of the slide was not frightening anymore. The memory of her standing on top of the slide, scanning the playground as if she owned it, and the gush of the wind as she slid down was something that she kept dearly in her heart. It was a glorious moment for her. And it was that moment she asked herself why she didn't try. All those times that she could have enjoyed playing on the slide with her friends had already passed, just because she didn't try.
The howling wind swallowed the silence between the two souls occupying the swings. Dara stood up and bridged the distance between them, standing in front of Jiro who was sitting on the other swing, his head hanging low. He stopped rocking himself and lifted his gaze to look at her, the fierceness in his eyes now gone and was replaced by inexplicable exhaustion. With the past pummeling him down and his girl being marked, everything was so wrong that even breathing was becoming difficult.
He jerked back in surprise when she brought her hands on his shoulders, a steady calmness evident on her face. How can she be so calm? She received a mark and they still didn't have a fucking idea who was behind Locker X. He was used to facing his opponents head on and trusted his fists to get his point across - that point being nobody is to mess with him...and that means nobody is to mess with her. But he was up against an unknown enemy whose purpose was unknown to anyone. What if he was not with her and he finds her on the ground with bruises and wounds, with blood streaming down her face...just like his mom. His fists automatically clenched with the thought, his heart pounding hard as he stared deeply at her.
Her right hand traveled to the side of his neck, caressing him while holding his gaze. "It's okay", he heard him say.
He shook his head lightly. It's not okay. Everything is not okay. He was losing confidence with his relationship with her because of what he was and who he couldn't become; he was terrified that something might happen to her; he was about to leave InterSAT to be...no one.
It's not okay. Those thoughts flooded him with despair, the impossibility of having his future with her and the realization that he couldn't always protect her just like he promised gave way to a feeling of helplessness that spread through him, wearing him down.
"It's okay", she repeated in a gentle voice, a smile slipping on her lips.
"It's not okay", he mumbled.
"I have you", she shrugged.
"I understand that, Ramirez. I won't let any bastard to even touch you, let alone harm you. But the fact that you're marked-..."
"I'm not just pertaining to Locker X, Jiro. I know you won't let anything happen to me, and I'll be careful as well."
He eyed her in puzzlement, unable to fathom what the girl meant. Locker X was the most pressing matter at the moment, so what other thing was she assuring him that would be fine?
"What you told me last time we talked, I know you're still bothered by that on top of the Locker X incident. And I'm telling you, it's okay. I have you, Jiro. And you have me. Don't you know how important that is?" Dara entwined her hands behind his neck as she gazed down at him, a spike of courage and strength in her eyes, an unflinching conviction that left him in awe.
"You're desperately trying to achieve everything and worry about things that have not happened yet. Stop enduring, and be what you want to be. That future you want, nobody knows if it's going to happen or not, no matter what circumstances are today. You can make mistakes and make all bad decisions. It's okay. We still both have a lot to learn, and we still both have a lot to prove. That doesn't make us less of a person, Jiro", she said softly.
Jiro bit his bottom lip and hung his head low, struggling to make sense of everything she was saying. How could she be optimistic after what he told her about himself? Didn't she understand that one mistake and one bad decision could ruin everything? So many things ran through his mind and yet, he kept his mouth shut.
Dara tilted her head and stared at him, but Jiro's gaze remained focus on the ground.
"You said you can't handle us, but I'd rather we try and see where this will take us than give up halfway because things are hard. I don't want to regret anything because we didn't try. I don't want to look back and wonder what could have happened if we didn't give up."
He lifted his gaze and stared directly at her eyes, swallowing hard before finally responding. "Things will get harder. I still can't see a future where I can be proud of myself. I know I will hurt you along the way, Dara...because this is who I am", he said, the agony he was bearing apparent in his voice. "And I don't want that. I don't want to see you lose yourself because of me."
"Don't lay out my future for me and just think about yourself. I'll be beside you along the way to support you. If you make a mistake, then I'll tell you. If you achieve something, I'll cheer for you. And if everything is too painful to handle, then I'll cry. But I won't let go of your hand, unless you want me to. I know you can break my heart, Jiro. And I'm not going to pretend that it doesn't scare me. But a broken heart still beats, and I know I can still live through it."
In his silence, he took in everything that she told him, but it didn't stop the pain searing his soul. The image of her being broken, the image of him failing to achieve what he wanted for him and for her - it was a reality that he was not prepared to face.
Jiro wrapped his arms around her and rested his head on her waist, unable to tell the girl that her words were not enough to erase the uncertainty and fear he was cradling in his heart.
She glided her hand on his back, soothing him, as she spoke again. "Please learn to accept that I love you, Jiro, because I really do...and you also don't have a clue how much."
He shut his eyes firmly with the determination that he sensed in her voice, wishing that everything would be like what she claimed to be. He inhaled deeply and slowly let go of his breath. He could never imagine any place he'd rather want to be than the place where he is right now.
At that moment, he didn't want to think of anything else. With her beside him, holding him, everything seemed like a dream - her warmth in his arms...and the scent of safety.
Writer's Note:
Munchcubes = Munchkins + Ice Cubes team!
Please vote and follow me here in watty, munchcubes ^_^
But pls comment in ENGLISH only! I'm not sure why there are readers who comment on their own language thinking I'd understand it ;p