JJ emailed me the lyrics of my favorite breakup song, "Last to know" by three days grace. He also emphasized what he means by it. I haven't blocked him there yet.
She just walked away
Why didn't she tell me?
And where do I go tonight?
This isn't happening to me
This can't be happening to me
She didn't say a word
Just walked away
You were the first to say
That we were not okay
You were the first to lie
When we were not alright
This was my first love
She was the first to go
And when she left me for you
I was the last to know
Why didn't she tell me
Where to go tonight?
She didn't say a word
She just walked away
You were the first to say
That we were not okay
You were the first to lie
When we were not alright
This was my first love
She was the first to go
And when she left me for you
I was the last to know
I'll be the first to say
That now I'm okay
And for the first time
I've opened up my eyes
This was my worst love
You'll be the first to go
And when she leaves you for dead
You'll be the last to know [2x]
When he says "and when she left me for you," he means "I left him for my own happiness."
He was the first to lie when we were not alright. JJ and I did have a small argument.
He says this was his worst love because he ruined it after he opened his eyes and saw his mistake.
"Where do I go tonight?" - he has no where to go. His secret is out. We no longer have the trust to help him. His family abandoned him.
"This was my first love." We were each other's first love. Now, first heartbreak.
At the end of the lyrics and interpretations, he said:
"Jen, please give me a chance to talk to you before I go back to Korea... I really wanna see you :( <3 I love you, and that's the truth... Meet me at our spot."
I replied,
"K."
Yep I'm a bad bitch.
Our spot is the end of the bridge in Echo Park.
•the next day at the bridge•
So I met him there. He approached me as quickly as he could.
"Did you get my email?" He says.
"If I didn't I wouldn't be here, dumbass."
"Sorry..."
"Why are we even here? You're leaving later, right? You should be getting ready."
"I wanted to see you before I leave. I know, I lied about my background, but the truth I told you is "I love you." I never lied to you when I said those words."
"JJ, you've been lying to me for more than 10 years. I don't care if the "i love you" part was real. Everything else is a lie."
"Jen, why are you so cold-hearted sometimes..."
"What did you just say?" I'm ready to kick his ass back to Korea.
"Why, are you so cold? You always treat people mean. You always make others feel bad when they make mistakes. You always put Bea Bianca in near death experiences. Why?"
"Why do you care?"
"Because it might help me know why you're being so cold to me now!"
"I'm being cold to you cuz you're a freaking idiot! You lied to me!!"
He was blank.
"IM BEING COLD TO EVERYBODY ELSE BECAUSE SEEING THEM HAPPY REMINDS ME THAT I WAS NEVER HAPPY WITH MY BIOLOGICAL PARENTS!"
He was just blank.
"JJ, when my sister abandoned me at the bridge in the rain, I had a grudge on almost everybody in the world. My trust is very hard to gain. My walls are up for 98% of this earth."
He plucked a rose from the bush and gave it to me. He knows I love roses.
I just looked at the Rose. JJ and I always gave each other roses when we have these feelings we don't usually have.
But at the moment, I hated JJ. My walls are up now when it comes to him. So I plucked the Rose petals in one hand and kept them in another.
He looked surprised.
I threw the stem Back in the bush with the Petals in my hand.
"JJ, what we have is over now. You're just gonna have to go back to Korea realizing, this was your first and worst love."
I slowly dropped the petals on the ground and walked away, leaving him behind to possibly the last time I'll ever see him...