I'll be back soon. Don't forget my gift =D
Dara sighed before putting her phone back at her table again. She had been reading that message from Donghae for about... she already lost count on how many times she had opened her phone to read that short message of his. It was the first thing she saw when she woke up that morning, feeling bleary and tired but receiving that message brought a surge of energy in her, bringing a smile to her lips. But as the day went by, sitting in her desk at CSW trying to keep herself busy, that energy turned into a feeling of uneasiness. This sudden feeling of... happiness... is something so new to her that she doesn't know how to handle it. And the thought on how long it would last... that was the one which she always push at the back of her mind not wanting to dwell on it at this time but it keeps pressing on the surface. Especially when she wanted to see him so badly. Oh god, yes. She missed him. And he's only gone for what, less than 24 hours. What has life turned her into? A blithering, whimpering, middle-aged, teenager-wanna-be. She even vascillated whether to respond to that message, say like, take care and see yah or something sarcastic like, what gift? But they are all so... pathetic. Everything she could think of at that moment seemes so pathetic that she decided not to respond at all. Unless she could go with what she really wanted to say and send him a Come back soon. I'll miss you. She could imagine Donghae's eyes falling out of their sockets if she did send that. Or maybe he would think she was just playing around.
She heaved another heavy sigh as she contemplated on how much it would cost her to have a brain transplant. Or better yet, the more cheaper way. Search for a book entitled Infatuation For Beginners or How To Deal With A First Love For Idiots.
"Hey, you okay?"
She looked up to find Mei looking down on her in concern. She tried to smile brightly but it came out looking like she's having a toothache.
"Of course," she answered.
Mei just looked at her queerly. "You look a little... weird."
"Weird? How weird?"
"Weird, like... I've never seen you so downtrodden. You're either so vivacious or malevolent... or at least when it comes to Kraz, you are."
That made Dara chuckle. "Malevolent? Geez, I never thought I was too obvious."
Mei chuckled too. "You have no in-between so all these sighing and your glazed, lonely look is a little disconcerting. And then I finally realized I knew that look. Are you having trouble with your boyfriend?"
Dara stiffened and felt her smile froze. No, I'm having a paralytic episode of having realized i am a girl capable of falling inlove with a guy whom I have coerced into a binding contract of servitude that is meant to pulverize his pride and wound his ego but I unfortunately found out that he was a really sweet asshole and a jerk who loves his family and now I am stuck with this nauseating feeling of wanting him to be always within the extent of where my eyesight can cover but now he's out of the country and I just can't stop thinking about him. Oh yeah, he also gave me that stupid kiss last night which will probably give me an insomnia for days to come. So no. I am not having trouble with my boyfriend. "Donghae?" She laughed. "Naw... I'm not having trouble with him. I just... " She let out a sigh and smiled brightly. "I think I'm just going to get some coffee."
She stood up ignoring Mei's look and slightly limped her way to the cafeteria to get some coffee. No doubt Mei is thinking how crazy she is.
She inserted some coins on the vending machine and blew out the steam off the coffee, standing on the corner while resting her injured leg. It doesn't hurt that much anymore and the gash has already become an ugly puckered skin on her leg. She was thankful Rick didn't managed to stab her leg too deep. The bruise on her shoulder still hurts a little though and her jaw is still hurting whenever she chew something hard or crunchy. One of her eyes is already on the mend to be normal again but it's still purple around the edges and the cut on her forehead is already on it's way to healing completely. She looked hideous and everyone did a double take when she passed by but no one asked her what happened. Not even Mr. Kraz. They probably thought she was in a car crash or something.
She drank her coffee, ignoring it's hotness, wishing Suzy could be here so she could ask her what she would do. As it happens, she's in a long 2 weeks vacation with her boyfriend and she probably wouldn't ask her if she's here anyway. Discarding the empty cup in the trash bin wishing she could discard her confusing brain as well, she proceeded to go back up to her desk again.
And saw Kim Jaejoong walking toward her coming out of the elevator. She smiled as she neared.
"Sup boss?" She greeted.
But he didn't greet back. He was staring at her face and as he comes closer, he's beginning to look between being mad and concerned. His hand lifted as if to touch her face but it stilled halfway and it dropped to his side.
Dara just looked up at him wondering what's up with him. The odd behaviour is not only hers today.
"Are you okay?" Jaejoong asked studying her face.
Dara snorted. "Of course. I know my face looks like it doesn't, but believe me, I've had worse."
Jaejoong just nodded but there was a tick in his jaw. They stood there for an awkward moment before Dara finally spoke. "Well, I gotta go back now. Cafeteria's all yours."
Dara started to walk past him but Jaejoong grabbed her hand and pulled her to him, enveloping her in his arms. Dara hadn't had time to even breathed out, her head not even coming up past Jaejoong's shoulder as he hugged her. It wasn't a tight hug but it was firm. Dara was blank for a second until she felt a stinging pain.
"Uh... you kinda pulled on my injured arm," she said her voice muffled.
Jaejoong let her go smiling wanly. "I'm sorry," he apologized looking embarassed.
Dara gently massaged her tender shoulder trying not to scowl. She should've known she would again encounter another one of the family who's main point of their life at the moment is to blame themselves on others's misfortunes. She sighed as she tried to rotate her shoulders."Okay, let it out." She swing her hand in a circular motion urging him to go on with it. Jaejoong looked at her, puzzled.
"What do you mean?"
"All those crap like it was your fault, you should've known and all those stuff. Just spit it out so you would feel better and then I could go and tell you it's not and it's my own stupid fault... Seriously. I've heard it from Donghae and I heard it from your grandmother. It's becoming a little tiresome but if you picked that hobby for your own enjoyment of despair, then by all means."
Jaejoong just looked at her as if she had two heads then he laughed. She just raise her eyebrows at her as he cracked up.
"Sorry," Jaejoong said as he got over whatever is making making him laugh. "I just... I was expecting a girl who's traumatized or..." He shrugged as he chuckled. "But of course, I should've known you weren't. I mean, when I spoke with you on the phone I though you were just trying to be brave and... I guess you really are and..." He chuckled again.
Dara just watched him drivel. Then she narrowed her eyes. "Are you high on something?"
Jaejoong shook his head again. "You are... incredible."
"Well, I try not to be but it just oozes out of my skin like sweat." She proceeded to the elevator and pressed the button. She bit her lip trying to keep herself from asking but her mouth opened on its own accord.
"SodDonghaemenshundbeback?" Her voice came out in a rush that it tumbled all together and she closed her eyes in consternation on how idiotic she sounds.
"What?" Jaejoong asked, obviously not understanding what she just said.
"Uh... i mean... did Donghae mentioned when... he would be.... Back?" She tried to sound nonchalant as possible but her mind is already reprimanding her. Donghae said the convention was for a week.Why the hell is she still asking that? Is she stupid?
Jaejoong looked at her and an odd look passed on his features before he answered. "I just know he was in a convention. It lasts for a week."
Dara nodded. "Right." The elevator door opened and she stepped in giving another bright smile to Jaejoong who was left standing there watching her but she was too engrossed in her own thoughts to notice or ask what is wrong with him. "Well... see you around boss."
Jaejoong just nod his head as the elevator door closes. Dara's smile dropped as she looked at her own reflection.
"You. Are. An. Idiot." She told her reflection then pursed her lips hoping the CCTV isn't working in here to catch her moment of dementia. She stepped out when she reached her floor and went back to her desk to get to work and deciding she'd better just focus her energy on coming up with a gift to give to Donghae on his birthday and hoping that he would like it. Whatever it is she will manage to find in the mall. Her eyes strayed on her phone again and she grabbed it to place it inside her pocket. God, she didn't know phones could be so distracting. She rotated her shoulder again, frowning as the pain in it is becoming a little insistent.
By past afternoon, the pain is already bothering her try as she might to massage the pain away. She pressed on the muscle on her shoulders and she flinched. Dammit. Even lifting it up is hurting now too. Mei noticed her scrunching in pain at her seat and offered to take her to the hospital which she graciously declined but Mr. Kraz heard that and barked at her to go to the hospital immediately. She gawked at him-they all did at his sudden show of concern but then he added that her injuries will give CSW a bad name and her not going to the hospital to get treated would reinforce any thought that CSW is not taking care of their employees. She rolled her eyes. If her shoulder is not hurting her, she would've supplied a sarcastic remark to that.
They hailed a cab and went to the nearest hospital with Dara muttering all the way that she hated hospital. Mei just chuckled at her disgruntled expression.
The doctor did some x-rays and showed them the result. Her shoulder is fractured but the doctor reassured her that it was just a minor one. The doctor spouted all medical terms that Dara couldn't understand and all Dara could hear was that she's going to wear a sling for at least three weeks. Three weeks?! That's gonna be a bitch. A new surge of hate rose up in her as she thought of Rick. That total psycho! He had damaged her far more than she thought he did. She only hoped she damaged him a whole lot more. The doctor proceeded in bandaging her shoulder, looking all black and blue and she winced everytime they moved her arm. Jaejoong came in a minute later looking concerned. He told Mei she could goback to the office now and he will take Dara home.
After the doctor carefully put her arm on the sling hanging on her shoulders, she made a face not liking how it looked at all. After all that fighting in high school, this is the time when she would be strapped with this thing?
"I'm sorry," Jaejoong said breaking out Dara's reverie. "It was the arm I pulled, isn't it?"
"Yeah, it was. You can start blaming yourself now," Dara said.
Jaejoong didn't laugh and felt more guilty as he had glimpsed on the bruise Dara got on her shoulder while the doctor is attending to her. He wanted to go to where Rick is now and use every money he's got to make sure he stays where he is but he felt he was at fault too. He pulled her arm so he could hug her because he was relieved she was okay and basically just because he wants to. But it only aggravated the injury.
Dara glanced at him and saw the look of remorse on his face. "Oh c'mon. Not with that again. I was just kidding. My shoulder is already starting to hurt last night and I think today it got fed up being ignored."
The doctor came in again and made her drink some pain reliever, advising her to go home and rest. She thanked the doctor and stood up with Jaejoong helping her.
"I'll take you home," Jaejoong quietly said.
"Thanks," Dara said then muttered as they walked to his car. "Ugh, I hate hospitals."
"Do you want something to eat?" Jaejoong asked as he drove to Dara's apartment. It was already around 6. "I could order take out."
Dara shook her head suddenly feeling so sleepy. "No, I'm good."
"You must be really in pain," Jaejoong observed.
"How so?" She asked.
"You. Rejecting offer of free food."
Dara chuckled. "My appetite is a little tired at the moment but don't worry, it'll come back tomorrow."
Jaejoong watched as Dara stepped out of his car also waving his offer of help to walk her inside the apartment. "I only got my shoulder fractured. I didn't get my leg amputated. Go on. I've wasted so much of your time already." She paused and Jaejoong pressed the button to roll the window down on her side. "Thanks Boss. And... please don't tell Donghae. I don't want him to worry." She smiled and waved again and proceeded to walk up the short stairs to the door with Jaejoong just watching her. Then he sighed and drove off ignoring the sudden nagging thought appearing on his brain.
He parked his car when he reached the hotel and was about to step out when he noticed something lying on the car's floor. He reached for it. It was Dara's phone. It probably fell from her. He put it inot his pocket and decided to just return it back to her tomorrow.
After showering and changing his clothes, he called to order delivery of some chinese food while he tried to avoid his grandma's calls. She's been really pestering him with the girl he had talked about with her and he regretted ever mentioning it. Now his grandma is adamant in talking to the girl's parents and changing their minds. He can only sigh at that and took note never to talk to his grandma about things like this in the future. He was already reviewing some files when his phone rang and he answered it when it registered Chaerin. Unfortunately it was his grandmother using Chaerin's phone.
"So now you're ignoring my calls you ungrateful kid!" Grandma chided.
Busted. "No, grandma I was really busy everytime you call and I just got home."
He closed his eyes as he listened to his grandma rant and then turned on her suggestion of talking to the girl and to the parents. It went on for what seemed like years to Jaejoong until he interrupted her in the middle of talking about serenading her with his supposed angelic voice.
"Grandma, what we're doing will turn any woman off."
His grandma paused and Jaejoong went on before his grandma could think of something again.
"I'm already near my thirties. A complete adult. And my grandmother is lecturing me how to get a woman. Any woman would be turned off by a... Grandma's boy. You need to let me think for myself."
"If I do that, you'll be old and gray before you could think of marrying."
"Grandma," Jaejoong said. "Let me do this on my own, okay. You're rushing things. You're rushing me. And talking to this girl... you'll rush her too. Just... let me do this on my own okay?"
"Donghae said this guy your girl is engaged with is the best and amazing.So if the guy you're up against with really is, then you'd better work it fast."
Jaejoong's eyebrows shot up then a smirk appeared on his face. "Donghae said that?"
"Yes, he seems to know this man but he doesn't want to tell us," his grandma said. "The mystery of this man's... amazingness... as Donghae puts it is getting to me. No one is better than my grandsons so you'd better move it fast. If he's the best, be more."
Jaejoong shook his head at the firm tone of her grandma. If she only knew. She was unknowingly pitting a cousin against the cousin. He wondered what she woud if she knew both her grandsons are pining for the same woman. If Donghae really is pining for Dara. Then what about Yoona? Is Donghae already over her or he was just playing with Dara until he gets what he's really aiming for?
"Okay grandma, I'm going to sleep now. I have a meeting tomorrow." Then he regretted it the moment he said that.
"Meeting again? There is nothing else you do but that! Oohhh I really can't wait until you get that girl. Tell me who she is. Tell me now before I resort to private investigator."
"Grandma!" Knowing his grandma, he knew she was serious.
"Love will change your life. Look at Donghae and Dara. They are both so blissfully happy. You should've seen them last night. I feel like I have served my purpose with your cousin. But you? And your other cousins? Why are you giving me such a hard time?"
The thought of Donghae and Dara being blisfully happy made him pause wondering what blissfully happy looked like.
"If Donghae is here I would've grilled him to tell me who this girl is but he's in Thailand with Yoona and his phone is not working-"
"He's with Yoona?" Jaejoong interrupted.
But his grandmother is not listening to him. "-so now I'm only left with you so tell me who this girl is now!"
But Jaejoong was too busy processing the information that Donghae and Yoona are together. He knew it really doesn't mean anything but... does Dara know? He had watched her as she asked if he knew when Donghae would be back and he tried to dispel the thought that she is now starting to care about his cousin but it keeps nagging him especially when Dara told him not to tell Donghae about her injured shoulder. Is it possible? A feeling of dismay sprung inside him and he swallowed it down. Concern for Dara if she really did start to care about Donghae.
Donghae has been inlove with Yoona for as long as he had lived... or at least, when they were little, he was always fighting to be where Yoona is. What he doesn't get is how Donghae is unable to find the courage to tell her about it. When Jaejoong saw the bet and how his cousin is working up to get the car to give to Yoona, he thought it was ridiculous. When Dara told him what Donghae was planning to get Yoona, he thought it nonsensical.
But he admired his silent persistence.
How could that depth of feelings for someone be changed in just a matter of weeks? He noticed that Donghae doesn't want Dara to be with anyone else. He looks happy when he's with her. But for how long? He doesn't want to think that Donghae is only doing what he's doing because of what he had agreed with Dara. Because if it is, then his cousin is a pretty damn good actor. But what if it really is?
The look on Dara's red face as she asked if he had any idea when Donghae would be back flashed in his mind.
"Jaejoong? Did you hung up on me?" His grandmother cut through his reverie.
"No, grandma. But I think I'm nodding off. I haven't got much sleep since I got here."
"Oh," his grandma uttered sounding guilty. "Well, I guess I should let you sleep then. I'll call you tomorrow. And if you don't answer, I'll disown you."
"Night grandma." Jaejoong hit the end button smiling thenjust stared off into space. The remnants of his earlier thoughts still running through his mind. Then he shook his head. He's probably overthinking too much. Donghae and Dara had a mind of their own. It's their life. Donghae can do whatever he wants. Dara can do whatever she wants.
And he can also do what he wants. And what he wanted is the one person he can't get off his mind. He turned back to his computer and got back into reviewing the files Siwon sent him. He didn't know how long he had spent there as his mind is alternatively going back and forth from his work to Dara. To Dara to his work. He should've gone back there and returned her phone. That way, he would have an excuse to call her just to see if she's okay.
Giving up on what he's working on, he decided to just sleep and rest. He glanced at his watch and was surprised that it's already 1:30 in the morning. He didn't even notice he had already spent at least 5 hours working on nothing. He stretched and stood up when he heard a ringing sound. He picked up his phone but it wasn't his. He followed the sound and saw it was Dara's phone he had put beside the table near the television. It was an unregistered number. He let it ring thinking it would be rude to answer a call from someone's phone. But then it kept on ringing and he thought it might be an emergency. He picked it up.
"Hello?"
There was silence. He repeated again. "Hello? Is anyone there?"
Dead air. He could hear nothing on the other line except for a soft buzzing sound.He frowned and decided to proceed to tell the person that it was Dara's phone and she dropped it but he will return it tomorrow. "This is Dara's phone and she's-" Toot Toot. He looked at the screen as the caller had hung up. "Nice talking to you." He muttered but he kept the phone in case the caller called again to tell him that Dara dropped her phone and will ask if there is a message he wanted him to take. But the caller didn't call again.
Dara woke up the next morning feeling sore as she was only lying on her good side not wanting to put pressure on her injured shoulder. She gingerly rotated it just to get a feel of it. It didn't hurt as much as it did yesterday. Man, that pain killer must've been so strong that she was unable to feel her muscles anymore and she immediately zonked off as soon as she had hit the bed not even bothering to get changed. She reached on her night stand for her phone but found it missing. She racked her brain on where she had put it but she couldn't remember anything. She patted her pockets, her bag, her drawer, the bed but her phone was nowhere in sight.
"Ah shit," she muttered in annoyance as she scratched her head trying to think but her mind is all muddled. Did she left it at her desk in CSW. She sighed in defeat before going to bathroom to get cleaned up.
She found Jaejoong parking his car across her apartment. He smiled as he got off the driver's seat.
"Hey, sleep well?" He asked while smiling brightly.
"Like the dead," Dara answered. "Did you come here to pick me up?"
"Yeah, that and..." He pulled out her phone from his pocket. "You dropped it in my car."
Dara took it with relief. "Thank god! I thought I lost it. I don't have anymore money to buy a new one."
They went to his car, Dara still feeling uncomfotable with the stupid sling looked hesitantly at Jaejoong as he slid in the driver's seat.
"Did uh... did anyone call?" By which means, did Donghae even call? But she doesn't want to sound too obvious.
Jaejoong glanced at her and smiled. "No. But there's an unregistered number who called. I answered it. Sorry."
"Who is it?"
"No one's talking. I think it got a shock of me answering it," Jaejoong said. "I was waiting for them to call back so I could explain but they never did."
"Oh," Dara said. "It might be Suzy. She was supposed to call me yesterday." She turned her phone on and wondered why Donghae didn't call her. Or even send a message. But he's probably busy. Maybe he'd call her later today.
He didn't. It was already 4 days and she hadn't heard anything from him. She kept checking her phone, pouncing on it everytime it rang or if a notification of a message coming in sounded but none of them was his. She was fighting feelings of disappointment each time but she wrestled it down. Still telling herself that he was probably really really busy to even get a moment to call her. Of course she could call him but she doesn't want to bother him in case he was in the middle of something important just to satisfy her whim of hearing from him. She tried to concentrate on her work instead. Editing scripts, enduring Mr. Kraz's abhoring presence, going into staff meetings, occasionally whining about the strap on her shoulders. But it doesn't deter the feeling of something missing in her. Sometimes she didn't even notice that she was staring at her computer for hours until someone knocked on her table or poked her. She didn't even notice the glances Jaejoong give her eveytime she becomes catatonic whenever he drops by.
Did something happened to Donghae? Why isn't he even texting or... something. Just a short message for her to know he's okay. She became worried then annoyed then worried and then annoyed again. She swear once he comes back she's going to give him hell.
She touched the carefully wrapped small box beside her computer. She had already bought him a cute coffee mug as a birthday gift. Searching for a gift to give him has been a constant pain in the ass so she just settled for something more practical. But seeing it now is making her feel... well... making her miss him more.
"Hey Dara!"
Dara jumped. "Son of a..." She stopped mid curse and looked up at Chaerin smiling at her widely. Jaejoong was behind her. "Could you not do that?"
"What?" Chaerin said. "It's not my fault you looked like you'vebeen bitten by paralysis. We're going to have lunch while waiting for Aunt Soong An. C'mon."
"Where're you guys eating?" Dara said knowing she wouldn't be able to afford anything they wanted to eat.
Chaerin guessing her thoughts shook her head. "Jae oppa will treat us. So c'mon!"
Dara looked at Jaejoong. "Really? Your treat?"
Jaejoong shrugged. "Seems like it will be now."
Dara chuckled and just let Chaerin pulled her up by her good arm and dragged her out.
They chose the Taki's, a japanese retaurant farther from CSW. Food was delicious and Dara forgot every woes she had been thinking of lately and just savor the free food while Chaerin prattled on about her life. Jaejoong just listened in amusement as he eat his own food.
"And so, I was like, no I don't want to go back to Paris yet," Chaerin said. "I'm having a very grand time here so I'm gonna stay here for a while and he was like, I miss you." She giggled.
Dara's brows furrowed. Who were they talking about again?
"Having a boyfriend can be a bother but it makes me feel good most of the time knowing there was someone else caring for you other than yourself," Chaerin continued which made Dara laugh. Chaerin's self-importance is beginning to grow on her. It isn't something irritating. It's endearing.
"But of course you would know what it feels like," Chaerin said addressing Dara. "How many times has Donghae oppa called you? 5 times in a day? 6?"
Dara's smile froze, feeling like it would crack. Jaejoong's smile fell and looked at her. Chaerin didn't seem to notice as she was busy putting together some vegetables and meat on her plate.
"He called grandma last night and told her he might be coming back after his birthday and grandma pitched a fit saying Donghae probably doesn't want to see her anymore or talk to her now that he's a grown man even if Donghae oppa has been calling her everyday." Chaerin shook her head.
Dara swallowed the meat she had been grinding in her mouth with much difficulty. So Donghae has been calling. But not to her. She can understand that he's calling his family but... he couldn't even bother to send her a message?
"But of course grandma understand. She's just wanting to have a little attention," Chaerin said putting the wrapped veggies in her mouth. "It's just too bad he wouldn't be able to celebrate his birthday with us but at least Yoona is there with him."
Dara's body went rigid. "Yoona?" She repeated in quiet whisper.
Jaejoong saw the look in her face and tried unsuccessfully to change the subject. "So when are you going back to Paris to be reunited with... what's his name?"
"Yes, Yoona is there with him," Chaerin answered Dara then finally noticed the frozen look on Dara's face. "Didn't... you didn't know?"
Dara just looked at Chaerin who was now looking worried wondering if she said something that shouldn't be said. It took a lot of effot to muster a wide smile. "Of course I do!" She laughed but it sounded hollow to her ears. She stabbed a piece of meat hard from the plate and put it in her mouth. "This meat tastes so much better the last time I went here."
Chaerin chuckled sighing a relief. "Yeah they are. Whew, I thought Donghae oppa didn't tell you." She patted Dara's hand resting beside her plate. "They are good friends and it would make us feel better if he's got someone he knows to celebrate his birthday with him. But of course there's always Face Time so, it's like celebrating with him too. Ugh, I really hated conventions. It takes so long! But Donghae oppa said he and Yoona are taking a tour of the city and the good thing is, he was able to talk to Yoona's uncle for a partnership. I'm pretty sure once they're back, we're gonna be celebrating that."
Jaejoong sighed heavily wishing he could zip his cousin's mouth shut. Dara looked positively homicidal now as she gripped her fork. She took a swig of of the water and slammed the empty glass on the table startling Chaerin.
"I think I need to go back to the office now," Dara said still wearing that psychotic smile. "The food was perfect but the meat..." She shook her head. "It's dead."
Chaerin looked at her quizzically. "Uh...yeah... it's supposed to be dead."
"I gotta go now," Dara said standing up and shook her head when jaejoong started to get up too. "No no no. Stay, enjoy your meal. Thank you for the free food. I have to go and try not to kill someone."
"Huh?" Chaerin looked more puzzled by the moment.
"I was just kidding," Dara said brightly. "Bye."
They just watched her walkd off the restaurant with Jaejoong noting how rigid her shoulders are and Chaerin just weirded out by her behaviour.
"What's with her?" Chaerin asked turning her attention back at her plate.
Jaejoong just sighed heavily and turned to his cousin. "Sometimes, you really need to learn to shut up."
Chaerin just made a face at him and opened her mouth to retort but Jaejoong stuffed her with lettuce.
"Shut up and just eat."
Chaerin chewed with a scowl.
Dara had been sitting at her desk staring at her monitor for who knows how long. The sentence keeps flashing on her mind Yoona is there with him like a neon sign and she tried to hold on to her anger up to the very moment but it gradually slipped away leaving her emotionally unstable. At least that's what she considered given that her heart is suddenly being squeezed painfully inside her chest as she concluded the reason why she hadn't heard from Donghae. Yoona is there with him. With Donghae. That's why he wasn't calling. Because he was happy where he is. With Yoona. Forgetting the girl he made the deal with. Forgetting her.
There was a lump in her throat since she find out and no matter how many times she cleared her throat or how many times she drank water, it stayed there and she wanted to rip her throat off so she could breathe normally. Or at least call him to lit into him and ask him to go kill himself but... why would she be mad? She doesn't have any right to be mad. Donghae had made a clear point on why he did the bet and the deal in the first place. He's very clear from the start. It was her who was stupid. It was her who had made a pointless and senseless move of falling inlove with him. God, she was so stupid. She aleady knew but she still did it anyway. She knew she was falling but instead of trying to come to surface, she plunged ahead. She knew it would be painful. She just had no idea it would be this much. She should've broke the deal when she had the chance.
She remembered how Donghae had kissed her. On his grandma's kitchen, that forceful kiss 5 nights ago... even the gentle way he patted her hair dry... It was all a ruse. Just an act to make everyone believe. Unfortunately, she fell for it too. Like the idiot she was. And there's no one to blame but herself. Donghae is a nice guy. Even she won't be able to deny that. He did probably cared about her but only because she's so pitiful.
She wanted so much just to call him and confirm it. Confront him. She could take a rejection. Right? Just so it would be over. Just so she could get on with her life. Blinking she reached for her phone, but she doesn't know what number to call. Would the number still be the same even when you're out of the country? She dialled but the prompter stated the number was out.
She just held her phone, stared at it not even knowing what to think. A light tap startled her. It was Jaejoong looking down on her in concern.
"You okay?"
"Of course," Dara answered automatically. "Why do you ask?"
Jaejoong just studied her face then nodded to the side. "Because you're the only one left here."
Dara blinked then straightened up in her seat to look around.Sure enough. She was the only one left. Eveybody must've left without her noticing. She didn't even noticed it was already dark.
"Oh crap, what time is it?" Dara asked.
"Eight," Jaejoong answered. "I'll take you home."
"How do you call overseas?" She suddenly asked. Jaejoong looked surprise at her question.
"Uh... you need to dial the are code-"
"Can I borrow your phone?" Dara said. "I don't think I have enough money to pay for an overseas call."
Jaejoong reluctantly took out his phone from his pocket not sure if Dara was serious. "Do you... do you want to talk to Donghae?"
"Yes," Dara answered without hesitation. "I wanted to tell him to drown himself in the pacific ocean."
Jaejoong's brows furrowed wondering if Dara is joking but she looks really serious.
"Can you dial it for me?" Dara said in deadly quiet.
Jaejoong just stared at her stony face then decided to just do what she is requesting. He knew Donghae is with Yoona. He knew Dara is going to be hurt if she find out. But Dara looks like she's ready to kill Donghae when he gets back. He gave the phone to her.
It took several rings before someone answered. And that single voice answered all of Dara's doubts.
"Hello?" It was Yoona. Answering Donghae's phone. "Hello? Jaejoong?" Dara didn't answer and just continued to let the emotions wash over her.
"Hey, have you seen my shirt?" She heard Donghae asked on the background. "Who are you talking to?"
"It's Jaejoong but I can't hear any-"
Dara pressed the end button not wanting to hear anymore. She smiled brightly as she returned the phone back to Jaejoong. "Thanks." She stood up and took her bag then looked at Jaejoong who was studying her face in concern. "Do you want to drink some beer?"
She didn't get drunk unfortunately. She wasn't even aware she had an exceptional high tolerance for alcohol so she was left conscious and lying on her bed that night. Never mind the fact that Jaejoong kept on taking the beer away from her everytime she try to down it. They didn't talk about anything. She just laugh at every little thing like a moron. A dog passing the street. A woman dressed like she was going to a funeral parlor. The food she is eating. It was all such nonsense and she was thankful Jaejoong had tolerated that. Did he noticed that it hurt her? She hoped not. She couldn't handle being teased about it and she might end up punching him instead of his cousin.
She tried to keep her mind blank but the insistent tightening on her chest is really bothering her she wanted to cry.It's like her rib cage are shrinking, leaving her heart no space to breathe in. But no she wouldn't. She won't cry. Not even for this. She could endure this... whatever is happening to her. She will get over it. Once she sees Donghae... she'll tell him the deal is over. At least she would have a graceful exit. Probably move back to Busan and help her mom. Yes, she wll get through this. She's a strong girl.
Finally getting her resolve, she returned back to doing the normal things she does everyday the next morning. Going back to cursing at Mr. Kraz in secret, editing the script, drinking her coffee, laughing at someone else's joke, bantering back with Mei and Bo, doing errands against her will for Mr.Kraz. Yes, she's going back to normal. She even dispatched the strap in her arm much to Jaejoong's disapproval.
"It's no longer hurting me," Dara reasoned that night as she gathered her bag to go home. "it's just keeping me from doing things."
"The doctor said to keep it for 3 weeks," Jaejoong argued.
"They're not feeling what I'm feeling and I feel fine now."
"Dara..."
"I want to grab something to eat. You want to come?" Dara said with a wide smile.
They settled on some street food with Dara talking nonsensical things again. Jaejoong only watched her dismally not liking her show of jovial attitude when her eyes says otherwise. She's trying to put on a good show but he knew better. He can see the shadow of hurt passing her features everytime she thinks she's alone and her pain is something she can't keep in anymore. But it was only momentary and she will be back in her usual, cheery self. Jaejoong much prefferred her to, at least, cry or share some of her pain. She needs to let it out instead of keeping it in but of course, this is Dara he's talking. She would probably kill herself first before admitting she's hurting. He wanted to be call Donghae himself and tell him to stay away from Dara if he's already sure it's Yoona that he wants but... It's hard to confront him without telling him how Dara feels. And he pretty much guessed it isn't something Dara wants to share.
They arrived at her apartment and Dara smiled up at him while getting her keys.
"See you tomorrow boss," Dara said.
"You know one thing I regret," Jaejoong quietly said which made Dara look at him again. "Is that I should've moved my office here instead of going back in HongKong. I never should've left."
Dara just looked at him in question and Jaejoong gave her a pained smile. "If I stayed... you would've fallen inlove with me."
Dara just stared at him thinking if he was joking but Jaejoong just shrugged at her questioning eyes as if saying what can I do? and she realized he might be serious. His admission shocked her so she tried to treat it as a joke but it came out half heartedly.
"Well, you could've just offered me a job in HongKong and I would willingly go with you." And she realized it was true. Jaejoong was the nicest guy she has ever met and if he offered to give her a job in HongKong, she would gladly accept. Anything to escape the pain that is tailing her and one she had been trying to suppress.
But Jaejoong just watched the emotions play on her face and without a word, placed his hand at the nape of her neck and gently pulled her into his arms, wanting to at least get Dara to know she's not alone. Dara didn't push him away and just leaned into him, letting the pain wash over her for once. She's going to give Suzy hell when she comes back and ask her why she didn't tell her falling inlove is such a strenuous occupation. She didn't how long they stood there with Jaejoong comforting her as she sniffled, which she wasn't even aware she had already bawled like a baby. There's always something about being comforted while your down in the dumps that make your tear ducts water on its own. She extracted herself from his grasp.
"Sorry, I got shirt wet," Dara said. "My allergies are acting up again."
"You have to pay for the dry cleaning," Jaejoong joked.
"Send me the bill," Dara said wiping her nose off snot. "Say, like next year."
Jaejoong just chuckled then heaved a sigh again. "I wish I could... reassure you that... nothing's going on between Donghae and Yoona but... I don't even know that myself."
Dara just chuckled and waved it off. "Why would I care?" She blew out a breath. "I'm just gonna let him know I'm so fed up with this whole... mess and just... I want to have my life back without his constant bickering... or his constant shadow-"
"He cares about you," Jaejoong interrupted which made Dara pause. "I just don't know if it's enough."
Dara swallowed hard again fighting the waterworks that is threatening to spill out. Why does Jaejoong have to be so nice? He could just be blunt and tell her that yes, Donghae care for you but only because he now considers you as a friend and nothing more. She chuckled and took a deep breath. She patted Jaejoong's arm. "Thanks boss." Then her smile fell and looked menacingly at him. "And if you ever let it slip to anyone about this, I'm going to break your leg."
Jaejoong just chuckled. Typical Dara to be threatening him when her face is red from crying.
"Good night," Dara said smiling again before turning the knob and going inside. Jaejoong just sighed before getting back to his car.
For the next three days, Dara was perfectly back to her normal ways and she even thought to herself See, it was easy.Maybe I just deluded myself into thinking I was inlove with Donghae because I am too innocent.She had never heard back anything at all from Donghae and she threw the wrapped gift she bought for him in her trash can and just concentrated on her work. Normal. I am now normal, thank god.
That is until Chaerin met her at Jaejoong's office when she was bringing some papers for him to sign as ordered by Mr. Kraz.
"Dara! Where've you been all this time, I haven't seen you in ages!" She hugged her.
"Chaerin, just go and I'll meet you downstairs," Jaejoong said sounding tensed.
But Chaerin ignored him. "I can't believe you've been working and working. You need to stay away from Jaejoong oppa. I didn't know workaholicness is contagious."
"Chaerin-" Jaejoong started again getting up from his seat.
"I can't believe you can't go to Yoona's party. I mean you already missed Donghae oppa's birthday and now you're missing the congratulatory celebration tonight that they set up. I'm about to shop for clothes and wanted to invite you but Donghae oppa said not to bother you."
"What?" Dara felt the air rushing out of her ears as she tried to understand what Chaerin was saying. "Donghae's back?"
"Chaerin," Jaejoong took hold of Chaerin's arms to get her out of the office. "I'll meet you down. Wait by my car."
But Dara placed her hand on Jaejoong's arm stopping him from taking Chaerin out. "No." She turned to Chaerin who looked annoyed at her cousin. Dara smiled. "Donghae's back." She didn't pose it as a question.
Chaerin swatted Jaejoong's hold on her. "Yeah, like two days ago. Don't worry, we celebrated his birthday... you know just a small gathering in grandma's house with friends. We're sorry you couldn't come but Donghae oppa said you had a deadline of some sort and that you had some project you're working and he warned us not to bother you so... okay we won't. But tonight, I just can't believe you need to stay late here in the office because of some script you were working on. I mean, the contract with Donghae oppa and Yoona's uncle came through so now they're celebrating it on Yoona's house and I really thought you could come this time but Donghae said you can't because you also had a meeting... I mean... everybody is already thinking who the mythical girlfriend grandma is talking about everytime she mentions you and some are under the impression it was Yoona Donghae oppa is dating since she was there on his birthday and you're not..." She looked imploringly at Dara. "Please don't work too hard and give Donghae oppa the time he deserves." Then she noticed the look on Dara's face. It was livid. Even her smile looks so threatening. "Dara?"Then she looked at Jaejoong who was glaring at her. What did she say? Then a thought dawned on her. She opened her mouth and closed it again and realized how surprised Dara looked when she mentioned Donghae is back. "Dara... you...you do have a meeting tonight.... That's why you can't come,, right?" She doesn't want to ask if Donghae is lying. Did they had a fight?
"Yes, we have a meeting," Jaejoong answered. "It's gonna be really late and we're sorry we can't come."
Any thoughts she had that Dara was not aware that Donghae is back flew out the window. "What? You can't come too?!"
"I'm the one initiating the meeting," Jaejoong said. "Of course I had to stay. Now go on. I'll drop you off at the mall and just call me when you wanted to be pcked up. Why you don't want to drive your own car is beyond me." He opened as he ushered his cousin out.
"What, it's much better to have have both your hands doing something more meanigful than holding the steering wheel."
Dara heard Jaejoong sigh loudly and she could hear their voices until it became muffled. She was left in Jaejoong's office processing what she had just found out. Donghae was back. Two days ago. Without even letting her know. Not even so much as a text message.
She swallowed the feeling that is engulfing her. No, it wasn't pain.
She wasn't hurt.
She was enraged.