AN: Hey lovely fans! I apologize for all the time it took for me to update. Sometimes my working schedule becomes so full and it collides with my depression schedule
BUT! To make it up for you, here's a pretty long chappy ;) Hope you like it!
Bisous <3
~~~~~~
Ceri
I stood at the edge of the mountain gazing at the thick forest. My eyes were darting here and there as if I had any chance of seeing Ithel from where I stood.
My hands carried my clothes that were wrapped in one of the new deer skins that I got.
"Y-you be careful, alright? Always look around you when you walk. And if anything feels wrong, you come right back! I will deal with Sosanbra, so you just focus on getting back safely and not getting lost. Are you listening to me??"
"Oh, yes" I nodded to Halina, who was staring at me with a tangible fear in her eyes. I tried to step away from her hands that were holding my arms, but instead of letting go, she moved to hug me: "Ceri, if anything, ANYTHING bad happens, you immediately start a fire, and don't forget to put the red powder I gave you so we can come find you"
"Yes, don't worry, Halina. I know how the powder works, remember?"
She chuckled and brought me in yet another hug.
One of the Aellas smiled at her and tried to coax her gently: "Halina, let the boy go. He needs to get back before sunset, remember?"
"I know... but-"
"I'll take you to the border of the Aellos' territory" we all turned to see Drita, draped in her hunting attire, with one of her tiger skins on her head and shoulders, and her sharp weapons on her sides.
Halina looked even more reluctant to let go of me: "Thank you Drita, but that won't be necessary. Sosanbra said-"
"I already informed the Leader. Let's go, Ceri" she said before she jumped on one of the large rocks that lead the descent of the mountain.
I waved at Halina and gave her a reassuring smile. Then I climbed down the rock and followed Drita carefully. My aunt kept telling me to be careful, to watch where to put my steps, and to not stop to gather fruits, just go back to her as soon as possible.
Her worrying was very heartwarming. It felt good to have someone worry about you. And I had a hunch Halina will not go back to her daily chores or even her children before I was back. The thought made me smile.
"You got yourself in trouble and you didn't even tell me about this Aello you met."
I flinched, remembering that Drita was there climbing down with me. The startle made my foot slip and I fell on the lower rock only to be grabbed by Drita and pushed back so I my back was against the rock.
"You changed, Ceri. You say no to me, you lie, and now you hide things!"
"N-no! I didn't mean to-"
"Stop lying or I'll punish you right here!"
I bit my lower lip to remain silent. This is what happens when I talk. It only puts me in further trouble.
She was glaring at me, searching my eyes for any defiance. I didn't utter a word. The thing Drita hated the most was to be challenged or ignored. I've learned with the years that she responded well to docility, so I didn't even try to deny that I was at fault; that would only fuel her anger with me. And the last thing I needed was to meet Ithel with a limp and a sore butt. My silence and obvious fear calmed her.
A frown worked its way on her forehead and he spoke with a much less angry tone: "Why didn't you defend yourself, Ceri? Why didn't come up with something? You could've said that I gave you the skins!"
"I......... I didn't think of that"
Okey, frankly, I couldn't even talk back then. And lying didn't even cross my mind! The last time I tried, I ended up sleeping on my stomach for a week.
Weirdly enough, Drita smiled slightly at that: "You're still the same you, after all"
I didn't know what to say to that. I just mirrored her smile and she pulled back and patted my cheek. Then we continued down the mountain silently.
We went into the woods. Drita gave me some pointers on how to get to the Aellos' main village. She said I should find the Leader there. If not, I should find someone who would call or him. I had to greet the Leader since I was stepping into his territory. And then get back to her so she could lead me back to the mountain.
Drita stopped somewhere in the forest saying she couldn't go any further, so I continued on my own.
"Hey!" She called for me. I looked back: "Yes?"
"If you come across anyone in the forest, don't panic. Just tell them to lead you to their Leader and they won't hurt you"
"Euh... ok"
"Now go. And don't slack"
~~~~~~~
I waved at her and ventured further into the forest. I tried to walk fast, but it wasn't possible with my head looking upwards, admiring the beautiful tall trees and occasional fruits. A while later, I saw some pears and chuckled; Ithel loved pears.
I stopped to look around me. I tried to recognize where I was in hopes it might lead me to Ithel's den, but I didn't know which way to go. So it was best for me to do as told, go straight ahead until I find the Aellos' village, and hope to see Ithel there.
I started walking again, only to hear a thick angry voice that made me yelp and jump a couple of feet back
"Who the hell are you?"
I tried to find the person talking, but he was nowhere to be seen. For a second, I thought I was imagining things. Until the voice spoke again like an angry thunder: "Are you deaf?? I asked who you are! And what the hell are you doing on our island??"
A man emerged from the trees. He was tall with a strong looking body that promised a very painful beating if I angered him further. The only clothes he was wearing were hanging around his waist, with colorful weapons attached to it. His bare chest rippled with muscles, and strange black drawings covered his left shoulder all the way down to his arm.
He was glaring at me with such intensity that I felt myself shrinking under his gaze. I didn't know what was scarier, his threatening eyes or the point of the short spear that he aimed at my neck.
This Aello looked nothing like the gentle one I knew.
Were they all like him?? And I was eagerly heading to their village!! How many will want to put a spear through my head!!!
My hands trembled and clenched on the clothes I was carrying. I tried to step back, but he barked at me not to move. I froze like a rock. My fear spiked when he started circling me like a predator, with the spear always aiming at my neck.
I peered around me, trying to keep track of where he was. I recognized this situation all too well. Thanks to Drita, I knew exactly what to do when a hunter walked around me like that. Yes, the plan was to lower my head, remain silent, and if she didn't say anything, then it was my chance to ask for forgiveness.
I executed the plan with this stranger, but I couldn't get myself to talk. I was too scared, and I couldn't think straight to know what exactly I'd be apologizing for!!
It seemed like my silence worked in my favor, because the man lowered his spear and approached me while still circling around me slowly. Well, it was either that or he figured I wasn't much of a threat.
But now he was too close, and too big! My eyes met his for a second and my heart started pounding viciously. Th-this is too scary! Ithel... Ithel where are you?
Just stay calm, Ceri. Remember what Drita said?
"I-I-I-I'm an Aella. I-I just came to meet the Leader"
"A what???"
He came to stand right in front of me, glaring down at me. I met his fierce look and the words disappeared in my mouth.
What am I doing here? A month ago, I had never even seen a man other than myself, now I'm facing an Aello twice my size and heading to a herd of them!!!
"Hey! If you take long to answer me again, I will pull your tongue out with this!" He yelled, while setting his lovely spear close to my lips.
I let go of what I was carrying to put my hands on my mouth in an attempt to protect my tongue. I shook my head and shrank further back trying to keep myself from stepping away and angering him any further.
"I-I'm sorry!" I said under my hands, "Please d-don't hurt me!"
He eyes me suspiciously for a moment, ranking his eyes from my head to my toes and all the way back. Then he pulled back while keeping the threatening spear aimed at me.
"I don't know what your story is, little Aello. So I'll take you to the Leader and he'll know what to do with you"
'What to do with me'? What would the Leader do to me???
"Walk!"
I gathered my things quickly and obeyed; with him right behind me. I really wished he would walk in front of me; I felt like if I looked behind me, he'll stab me or something. It felt like I was followed by a scary bear! Well, the truth is I've never seen one, not even dead. But I've been told stories about their strength and what they look like. And the description I heard matched this Aello a bit too well.
And that was how we walked for about another hour that felt like days. The Aello didn't talk at all. I was freaking out, but I didn't dare say a thing.
Eventually, we stepped onto a wide clearing in the middle of the forest, and I saw the Aellos' village.
Dozens of huts scattered in the clearing; they were small and made of willow reeds, with round tops. Somewhere in the middle, a bigger hut dominated the others. It was the Leader's, I supposed.
I remembered Ithel telling me he had a home in this village aside from his den; he said he stayed here more often since he didn't like staying alone in his den for too long. So I looked around, wondering which one was his. It would be so interesting to wait for him in his home.
But I didn't dare ask or even voice his sacred name to the bear behind me. Not that he left me any chance to ask anything as he pushed me forward, barking at me to move and almost making me fall.
I was led to the largest hut. Before we reached it, another Aello passed by and stopped to stare at me. He walked closer to inspect me more thoroughly. This Aello didn't look as scary as the bear behind my back. This one was leaner, with kind features. He had soft, short hair and he was a bit shorter than Ithel. He halted a couple of feet closer to me, tilting his head in confusion. Our eyes met and he smiled, and then he spoke very gently: "Who are you, Aello?
Suddenly, and without any delicacy whatsoever, the bear-Aello reached past me. He grabbed the younger one's face and pushed him back: "Stop being useless, Aleksy! Go inform the Leader!"
I stiffened, but didn't dare move. Aleksy glared at him before looking at me again. He seemed a bit embarrassed. If I were able to talk right then, I'd tell him not to be. I put myself in much more embarrassing situations. But at least I was dealing with humans, not bears!
Aleksy didn't retaliate; he simply walked away and disappeared in the large hut. A couple of seconds later, troupes of Aellos emerged from the opening of the hut; each one stepping outside, halting to rank their eyes on me in confusion, and only moving when the one coming out next pushed him aside.
I looked at all the new faces, eyes staring at me as if trying to figure me out. Different heights, strong muscles, and...
My heart was beating like drums as I walked my eyes on their weapons. The Aellos were all staring at me and suddenly I felt so regretful.
I brought this upon myself, I thought, why did I not think this through! I only thought about Ithel... Where is he? He-he's not here! Oh, no... what am I going to do!!
I wasn't seeing faces anymore. Just shapes of strongly built Aellos that could make my soul join the spirits if they did as much as take a step towards me.
I didn't even realize their Leader was standing in front of the herd until the bear-Aello pushed me roughly and ordered me to greet the Leader. And while I didn't like for the rough treatment, I was thankful that he reminded me of my duty.
Don't panic, Drita had told me. I think it was time I tried that.
I stepped closer to the Leader, not daring to look him in the eye. From my downcast stare, I could see his well built muscles, especially as he was half naked. His long black hair fell past his shoulders, and he had black drawings on his fore and upper arms.
I put my clothes at his feet and kneeled. I bowed low, and then waited for any scolding or discontent at my manners. When I heard no such thing, only the creepy silence and the weight of the stares, I went to introduce myself. I should've maybe straightened my back, but this position felt safer; it would be easier to apologize like this if I did anything wrong: "I-I-I...... I'm...... from the Aella clan. My Leader sends her respects and......"
I made the mistake of looking around me. The sight immediately made my tongue freeze in my mouth; like it was carrying a heavy weight and couldn't move anymore. I guess that was as far as my courage could take me. W-w-what will happen now?? I want to escape so badly! There was no Halina to back me up here! I want to go home...
My hands clenched on my knees and started trembling. I'll be in trouble if I didn't talk. It was always like this! The Aellas would talk to me and they'd think I'm rude because I didn't answer them, but the truth is that I'm too nervous to say a thing!!! Even for a simple question, I'd think hard trying to come up with something that will make them like me and become my friends, but in the end I'd come up with nothing to say!! And now it was the second time that this happened today; first with my Leader, and now with the Aellos' Leader!
"And..." a voice trailed. It was way too close. I lifted my eyes to see the Leader crouching in front of me. He had black markings on his face too, with what looked like the drawing of the sun on his forehead. It gave him an aura of strength and leadership. He was smiling very lightly, looking at me without anger or irritation. I noticed the black feathers decorating his black, slightly grayish hair. I remembered Vreis talking about having 'bwack feavows'; the same color as his father's. Vreis would be happy to hear that his father wore the same feathers as the almightily Leader.
Somehow, remembering the little Vreis made me relax enough to speak: "I... I'm here to bring these to you."
The Leader looked down at the clothes, then raised an eyebrow: "Sosanbra sent you to bring us some clothes??"
One of the Aellos chuckled: "I thought we were supposed to get them presents"
Another one added: "Huh, who had her in the last Agape? That Aello must have done something veeeery nice, if the Leader herself is sending him presents"
The Aellos laughed. I didn't really understand the joke, but I was glad they were laughing and not angry. For a second, I thought I saw a smile on the Leader's face before he glared at his Aellos and scolded them: "Do not disrespect any Aella! Especially not their Leader!"
The laughs toned down and the Leader grabbed me by the arms and stood up, talking very calmly: "I'm Cailyn, Leader of these tigers. Now, as much as I'm intrigued to know the reason behind this... gift, I'm more interested in the Aello who's delivering it."
I blinked, not knowing what to say. Certainly not the truth about who I am; that would make them hate me for sure. So what could I tell him?
Oh, I'm the boy who kept starting the red fire and making you come all the way to our territory, nicely dressed and heavy with gifts, only for you to go back from where you came without even meeting the Aellas.
"The coward is more scared than a baby deer!" I flinched at the words, recognizing the bear-Aello's voice, "I think he's about to soil himself"
A couple of Aellos laughed while others told him to back off or be quiet. The Leader glared past me: "That was uncalled for, Essylt. I believe the hunters are back with today's kills. Go help them"
Essylt, I better remember that name so I could avoid him.
The Leader sighed after the scary Aello left. Then he turned to me again, still not looking irritated from my presence: "Well, we could start with your name, Aello."
Did he just call me Aello??? A thrill of excitement filled my heart and I felt so, so grateful for just that.
I smiled. If I wasn't too scared, I would've hugged him: "I'm-"
"CERI!!!"
I looked to my right to see the man of my dreams. It seemed like all politeness and fear flew away as I ran and threw my arms around his chest.
Ithel caught me and hugged me: "I can't believe this, you're here! You're truly here!!!"
I pulled back to nod: "I'm here"
He grinned and caressed my hair; grinning even wider as he held my curls between his fingers: "I missed you, Ceri"
I blushed. I was about to hug him again and even touch him everywhere to feel the sweetness of his body, but the Leader's voice brought me back down from the cloud of dreams
"Ithel"
I moved to stand beside Ithel as he bowed his head slightly to his Leader: "Leader, I see you've met Ceri"
"I just did. And now I have even more questions, like how come you know an Aello that even I have never seen?"
"Oh, Ceri is an Aella, Leader"
The crowd started to whisper and frown to us. The Leader raised an eyebrow, not looking convinced at all: "An Aella?? We can all see that he's a man"
I shrank a little, but Ithel didn't. He spoke to his Leader so bravely! Like he wasn't afraid or lesser than him in any way!! So I peeked at him in amazement, more interested in the way he spoke that the words themselves.
"I was confused at first too, but he explained it to me. It seems that Ceri had spent his whole life with the Aellas. He learned their ways and abided by their rules."
"Hey, can we do that??? I choose to be an Aella!" One of the Aellos said, and another one snickered at him: "You're a proud Aello!", but the first one didn't look convinced: "I'll feel proud if I could live among the Aellas everyday!" They laughed until their Leader spoke again.
"And since when did you know about this?"
I was actually worried about the part where Ithel would get implicated in my pathetic story. But he answered without hesitation: "Since the last Agape. We met by chance, and...... I helped him..." a smile started tugging his luscious lips while his eyes sneaked to me, but he chose not to dive into details as he waved the memories away, while still smiling: "It's a long story."
The Leader seemed to consider that before he turned to me: "How's your ankle?"
I cocked my head in confusion before remembering: "It's ok! Thank you"
Ithel laughed lightly and rubbed the back of his head, looking a bit guilty, but not apologetic in the least. The Leader gave him a knowing stare that I didn't know what it was about exactly. And only that did I wonder, how the Leader knew about my ankle without knowing that I existed!
This Leader was strong, I thought. Maybe he had some spiritual powers!
Aellos are so amazing, a bit scary, but amazing nonetheless.
"Aello", he addressed me and I stiffened in attention, "why did you not step forwards to be part of my clan as our traditions compel you to?"
I hesitated at that. It felt a bit unfair; it wasn't that I hadn't stepped forward. I was simply never claimed. The Leader seemed to notice my struggle with the answer, and tried to probe further: "Are your parents alive?"
My... parent? I know my mother passed away. I don't know about my father, though. But I didn't want to say that. They'd see me as the fatherless kid again, and they'd distance themselves from me. I was used to it, but I didn't want Ithel to witness it.
So I shook my head. The Leader sighed, and some nodded in understanding. Someone even said that it was harsh for a kid not to have his parents to protect and teach them. Another added that he would've taught me their ways, if he knew I needed a parent. And someone else said that even if I had no parents, the laws must've been applied and that I was breaking the clan's sacred traditions by living with the Aellas as an adult.
Ithel put his arm around me and grabbed my shoulder. He pushed me a step closer to the Leader and spoke confidently, his words made most of the commotion tone down: "Leader Cailyn, it is not Ceri's fault that he was raised among the Aellas. He was a child and he hasn't been taught any other way of living. I've come to know him. He's honest, kind, and honorable. Either Aello or Aella, he's a member of our tribe and deserves our respect."
After a minute of silence, the Leader nodded at me: "Ithel speaks highly of you, and I'm willing to trust his judgment. You are welcome to my territory any time you want, Ceri"
Ithel tilted his head in respect and thanked the Leader. So I followed his lead and bowed low, thanking him as well.
The Leader patted my shoulder and smiled: "We're about to have a nice meal. How about you eat with us?"
My eyes widened at the invitation. Ithel grabbed my other shoulder again and pulled me to him, releasing me from the Leader's hand: "That sounds great! Leader Cailyn is so generous"
The Leader gave him another knowing stare before he led us to a fire somewhere between the huts. A couple of already skinned deer's and rabbits was being cut and put to roast on the fire. We sat in a circle: The Leader on my left and Ithel on my right. It was like living a dream.
Ithel was grinning at me. He pulled my hand that was resting on the clothes I had gathered from the ground, and he stuck it between us and held it tightly. I smiled back at him, unable to stop a silent laugh.
I was laughing, for no specific reason other than being sincerely happy. It was like I totally forgot about all the events that led me here. My mind and my heart only filled with the blessing of the gorgeous Aello that looked so happy and proud to sit beside me.
"I can't believe you're here with me, Ceri. How did you manage to do that?"
"Oh, actually..." I looked down at the clothes in my lap, feeling a bit apologetic: "I don't mean any disrespect, Ithel, but I was told to give you your presents back"
His smile dissolved for a second before he forced it back: "Why??? I hunted those myself, and I gave them to you as a sign of my affection. Why would anyone tell you to refuse my gift????"
I could see the hurt in his eyes. He tried to hide it, but he looked like he was being rejected! And rejection was the last thing I could feel about Ithel.
I shook my head to try and explain to him, but the Leader interrupted: "So that's why you paid us a visit, young Aello"
Another one dove in the conversation as well: "I guess the gift wasn't for the Leader then". It looked like he was teasing their Leader. The latter rolled his eyes at his men and they engaged in what looked like a playful conversation.
Meanwhile, I turned to Ithel and whispered: "Ithel, I would never reject your gift. You know how happy and grateful I am for them"
"They're not much, Ceri. I actually didn't prepare myself to have an Agape, and that was wrong of me. But when I met you... I wanted to give you so much more, but at the time this was the best I managed. I have never given anything to an Aella willingly and with a happy heart. You are the first! The only Aella I wanted to take care of; offer you food, shelter, and clothes. Yet here you are, bringing my very modest gift back to me. Please keep these, Ceri, if you want better gifts I can give you anything you want-"
"No! I-I love these! They're so soft and beautiful! But......" I lowered my voice more and continued with big difficulty, "It's not you, Ithel. It's me. I'm......... not a proper Aella, I can't bear children so I don't deserve the gifts."
"Wha-?? That's purely unfair! All Aellas got offerings on their Agape, why can't you?"
"I... didn't tell them about my Agape. I didn't want to be punished and...... I wanted to have a chance of being allowed to the next Agape so I could... meet you..."
His eyes widened slowly at that. He didn't care about anyone as he pulled me in a hug while murmuring in my ear: "They shouldn't have said those awful things to you, Ceri. But I understand. I still don't regret giving them to you, since they brought you back to me"
He pulled back and smirked: "Maybe I should give you more." He tilted his head to look closer into my eyes: "If I gave you a tiger's skin, will they let you sleep over?"
I blushed and laughed, trying not to be loud: "I don't think it works like that"
"Too bad. I was already looking forward to it"
I chuckled and looked at the clothes. I had no choice, I had to do as told or I might get in trouble. So I pushed the clothes to Ithel, who reluctantly took them.
"I'm sorry..... I already sewed them. I don't think they will fit you"
"Well, I'll keep them in my den so you can wear them the next time you come to me"
I smiled, my eyes widening with hope for that day to come.
"Hey, lucky young man" I turned towards the voice, I looked around making sure the Aello was talking to me. I was baffled by being called 'lucky'. I didn't really understand why a free, strong, healthy, and respectful Aello would find me lucky.
I remembered him being the Aellos who said he would've taken me in as a child if he knew about me. He looked calm and respected; especially from the way everyone stopped chatting to hear our conversation.
"So, did the Aellas teach you how to hunt? I see you got a nice necklace there"
I touched the necklace I made this morning. My fingers trailed on Vreis's and Epona's feathers, and then on the tiger teeth that Drita gave me. The other Aellos including the Leader were looking proudly at it. Ithel just raised his brow; knowing well that I've never seen a live deer, let alone hunt a tiger. Hunting was one of the subjects that would directly lead back to me not having a father. So I tried to offer an honest yet a dishonest response.
"A little" I answered. It wasn't totally a lie, since Drita did allow me to use her weapons to carve drawings on the pieces of wood she brought for me. And I did play with them a bit from time to time, pretending to take down a tiger or a wolf. Yeah... that's as far as I got from hunting.
Ithel tilted his head: "Where did you get those?"
I showed him the necklace: "I made this myself!" and I continued with a lower voice: "Drita gave me the tiger teeth. Aren't they amazing!"
He chuckled: "Yes, they are"
"Huh," someone scoffed, "an Aella teaching a boy how to hunt. It must be worse than the worst Aello!"
I frowned and looked at the ground. I couldn't help but find offense in that. And while I wasn't the preferred Aella to walk on the mountain, I had some friends and people who I cared about in my clan. It felt like an outsider was belittling my people and it didn't sit well with me.
Admittedly, I wasn't brave enough to face the sturdy Aello with my thoughts, so all I could manage was a tiny mumble: "We're not weak"
I felt Ithel about to talk when his Leader spoke firmly: "The Aellas are not weak. You'd be surprised how strong they are. The weather is harsher on the mountain, yet they manage to live through the most difficult winters AND keep the young children alive and well. And while the Aellos hunt to feed themselves, the Aella hunters hunt to feed a whole clan, including your children. That calls for a lot of strength and patience"
"Indeed", the other Aello agreed, and then continued his stream of questions: "What else did they teach you? Did they teach you how to build a hut? How to make your own weapons? How to skin and cook? What about storing your food for winter? Oh, did they teach you how to get an Aella?"
"Why would they teach him that? He LIVES with them! He gets to mate all year long!"
The Aello who spoke looked at me with envy in his eyes. I felt very shy as the same look spread among the circle of Aellas, while some of them stared in disbelief and others commented about how in the wrong I was.
I shrank back, Ithel's hand sat on my right knee to calm me and give me strength. Then the Leader spoke and eased their worries and jealousy: "He does not mate outside the Agape season! The Aellas are always strict about that"
Then he looked at me skeptically and whispered: "You don't, right?"
I shook my head vigorously and he smiled at his men confidently: "Yep, he doesn't"
A couple of Aellos started handing the food around. The Leader nodded at me to eat and I waited for him to take a bite before I turned to Ithel and we ate. He would watch me take a bite, then he does the same, and we chew while looking at each other. I was adamant to keep my Agape with Ithel a secret. He understood that too. But I couldn't help stare and smile at him, and he didn't hesitate to do the same.
Every minute or so, a new Aello would come join us. They start by greeting the Leader, some of them would take some meat to eat while the others said they already had their meal. And sooner or later they'd notice me and start asking their friends about me.
Always the same trail of questions: who I was, where I came from, how come they never saw me, with the Aellas all this time!!!, and lastly, if I mated with them.
Only one of them broke the pattern. The Aello was tall and strong looking. His eyes twitched as soon as he saw me. The Leader greeted him enthusiastically before the other Aellos moved to give him a space to sit on the other side of the circle. He remained silent, staring at me while his friends chatted.
"If I knew you'd be here, I would've got you the fish you loved"
I was pulled out of my staring at the other Aello and looked at Ithel: "Thank you, this deer tastes really good"
His face lit and he straightened his back: "Great! You can eat as much as you want. I know it's your first time seeing my clan, I don't want you feeling strange or scared of them"
I thought about that for a few seconds, then I smiled gently at him: "I actually was worried when I was led here by the Aello called Essylt. But after you came, I wasn't scared anymore"
"They're not as refined as Aellas, but they're not bad either. Well, except for Essylt, he's rude. I hope he didn't insult you or hurt you in any way"
I shook my head, trying to look as brave as possible: "No. It was fine." Then I admitted: "He was terrorizing! But I didn't show him that I was scared"
"You're so brave, Ceri"
He offered me his stick of meat, even though I still haven't finished mine. I didn't refuse him, though, so I took a bite from his share and we laughed; both remembering the way we would feed each other during our Agape.
"Hey, I wanted to ask you something", one of the Aellos leaned forward to speak to me. He had thick long black hair and what looked like the print of a bear on his shoulder, "the Aella with the beautiful long hair. How is she?"
I stared at him; I guess I wasn't expecting such questions. When I didn't answer he went on: "Her hair is soft, it falls in nice small waves and reached her lower back. She has colored cheeks like peaches"
"A... a name would be helpful"
The Aello looked around in discomfort, like he didn't want to say her name in front of the others. Then he lowered his voice and leaned forward more: "Moina... the Aella is called Moina"
I smiled: "She's doing great. Her children are well too"
The Aello grinned and straightened his back. He nodded at me in appreciation before taking a nice bite from his share of meat.
I couldn't help but notice the silent Aello who kept staring at me intensely. He wasn't talking or eating. He just gazed at me seriously, a small frown tugging his forehead.
Another one turned to me and asked the same thing: "What about the Aella hunter? She's the tallest one with red hair"
"Rhonwen?"
The Aello nodded eagerly. She likes kicking my butt, I wanted to say, but decided to keep my dignity.
"She's doing great!"
"What about her son? The three year old boy?" another voice pulled my attention to the other side of the circle.
"Oh... Samry is...... playful. He loves to hide and scare the other children. I know he got me terrified a couple of times" I laughed. The Aello couldn't look more proud, breathing in and nodding at his fellow Aellos with a satisfied 'Yep, that's my boy'.
And it went on like that for a while. Everyone asking about an Aella, or a couple. I couldn't help the envy that filled my heart every time someone asked about their children. Boys or girls, the Aello fathers sounded like they missed them already, even though they just saw them a week ago. They were all so proud of their children no matter what I said. I even went and told the truth once about a baby pooping a lot and his father couldn't look more pleased with the news.
And for delivering the news, they all looked very grateful to me. Which made me even more willing to answer all their questions. I told the truth, but tried to compliment their children; somehow it felt like I was getting a tiny share from their pride of their children in the way they looked at me in appreciation.
Yeah, it's a really good feeling to have a father...
"Hey, you said Moina was doing well. Did you notice anything about her... like, did she maybe look pregnant?"
I blushed at the question and Ithel laughed while putting an arm around my shoulder and patting my hair, while answering the Aello: "Are you serious? How could Ceri know such thing! The Agape ended a week ago!"
A commotion started, some were laughing at the Aello who didn't look convinced, saying these things can be felt. And the other Aellos started asking me if the other Aellas were pregnant!
Of course I couldn't answer such thing. And the Leader noticed my discomfort at the question so he waved his men to back off: "Just leave the young Aello alone. He doesn't know! Like usual, in a couple of months, the Aellas will tell us who's expecting a child"
That seemed enough to make them back off, but they kept discussing the matter among themselves. The Leader smiled at me reassuringly. Then he looked around before tilting his head and asking in a lower voice: "What about Halina?"
"Halina???"
"Is she doing well?"
I nodded slowly. Why would he ask about my aunt? Don't tell me...
"What about her little pups. Did Vreis get taller?"
"You're Vreis and Epona's father???"
He nodded, still expecting an answer: "They're...... the sweetest kids. They talk about their father all the time"
The Leader grinned, looking very pleased. Then he leaned in again: "What about Halina? Is she pregnant yet?"
"Leader!" Ithel raised a brow at him
"What?"
"It's been only ONE week! Ceri can't know that! Even Aella Halina wouldn't know already!"
The Leader shrugged: "Worth a try"
Ithel shook his head and asked if I was alright. He was acting very protective of me, and I savored every second of it.
Soon I realized that it was getting late already. I told Ithel I had to go back before getting myself in trouble. Well, more trouble, actually.
He was reluctant, but he told the Leader. I bowed at him and thanked him for his hospitality.
"You're welcome among us anytime, Aello"
A phrase as simple as that warmed my heart. The Leader, Cailyn, was very close with Halina. He was Vreis and Epona's father, and he kept calling me Aello even though Ithel told him that I was from the Aella clan. It made me feel happy. I think this was the closest I even got to a fatherly feeling.
We left the small village and headed to the mountain. Ithel insisted he'd be the one to lead me back. We enjoyed the walk very much; talking and joking. He brought a leather bag with him and insisted on gathering some fruits for me to take home.
We filled the bag with different fruits and we ate some together. At some point I forgot that Ithel and I were separating, until he stopped and smiled sadly
"This is as far as I'm allowed"
"Already?"
"Yeah, see these markings?" he pointed to a tree beside him with what looked like the traces of claws, "They indicate that I'm not to walk any further"
I touched the lines embedded on the trunk of the tree: "Are these real?? Did a tiger do this?"
Ithel chuckled and shook his head: "No, I'm pretty sure it was the Aella hunters. See? They're too neat and organized to be made by an animal"
I nodded in understanding, a bit disappointed that it wasn't a real tiger.
Ithel put the full bag of fruits on the ground and pulled me so I had my back against the tree. He pushed my curls away from my face, laughing silently when they rebelliously flew back on my eyes
"I will miss you, Ceri. I have a feeling that I will miss you now more than I had the last week"
"I will miss you too. I...... don't think I'll be able to get back here soon, though. But I'll be good and I'll try to find a way"
"Please do. I can't live without you anymore. I dream about you every day! And I've been working hard to make my den more welcoming for when you get back to me"
"That sounds really nice"
I looked around us, afraid that Drita might be close.
"Don't worry, I won't get you in trouble again. Now go, the sun is starting to set"
I pouted. He was doing the right thing, but I didn't want to leave
He sighed and hugged me, cradling my head to his firm chest: "Go Ceri... before I change my mind and keep you in my den for always"
He reluctantly stepped back and handed me the bag of fruits. I put the heavy thing on my shoulder and prepared to leave. But I couldn't hold back; just one little sweet souvenir, I thought.
I cupped his neck and led his lips to meet mine. He groaned and closed his eyes and I couldn't hold in a moan of satisfaction. He hugged me, deepening our kiss and sending waves of tingles down my back and all the way to my toes.
When we pulled back, we looked at each other and smiled.
I ran a tongue on my lower lip: "It's sweeter than my memories"
Ithel looked in pain as he put his forehead on mine: "You're killing me, Ceri"
I laughed, feeling my cheeks heat. I just noticed that the sunlight was starting to dim down. So I walked away, while looking back at Ithel and waving at him.
~~~~~~
As soon as Ithel disappeared behind the trees, I quickened my pace. I had to at least reach Drita or the mountain before it's totally dark; that would count as returning before sunset.
I moved the heavy bag on my other shoulder. I wasn't sure they'd accept that I went to return something and came back with something else, but I doubt Halina will let anyone drag me to the Leader for the same thing so quickly.
I was about to hurry even more when I felt a movement behind me. I stopped to look back, but saw no one. I thought maybe it was a rabbit. And as much as I wanted to look for it and touch it, I didn't have the time. So I turned to continue on my path, only to yelp when I almost bumped into someone.
I raised my eyes to meet a tall Aello who was gazing at me intensely. I remembered him as the silent one who kept watching me from the other side of the circle of Aellas.
"I-I-I-I'm sorry!"
It just came out. I didn't even know why I was apologizing. And it took everything in me to continue talking: "This is outside the A-Aellos' territory..."
My voice trailed at the way his eyes were almost digging holes in me.
"Young man, I've been told that you spent all your life with the Aellas". His voice sounded thick and so manly. I only managed a nod.
"You've never stepped outside the mountain before this Agape??"
I nodded again.
"Who raised you?"
His questions had such finality that I didn't dare refrain from answering
"M-my aunt"
"How did your mother die?"
I shrank at the hurtful subject: "She... died giving birth to me...... but I-I didn't kill her!"
He narrowed his eyes at me
"I-I mean... I was just a baby... I didn't mean to-"
"How old are you?"
"I-I'm seventeen"
His eyes started to widen and his look turned into an angry stare
"Your mother...... what was her name?"
My...... mother.........?
I've never really spoken about her with anyone. It always seemed to remind people of reasons to push me away. Even Halina, whenever I brought up my mother, Halina would become so sad and gloomy.
No one spoke about my mother. No one liked her memory or smiled at the mention of her name.
For seventeen years, I learned to bury my longing for her. Only I shall pray for her spirit, only I will roll her name on my tongue when no one is around, and only I will cherish her memory deep in my heart.
I didn't answer the mysterious Aello. And for some reason, I was more eager to hurry back to the mountain than ever.
But before I managed to do anything, he said the one name that made me feel like a child again; the seven year old boy who was left by his mother and never claimed by his father
"Dilara..."
His voice trailed. And the shock in my face made the Aello glare at me in disbelief.
I knew who this Aello was.
I didn't know what I expected right then. I've dreamed about this moment countless times, none of those dreams included the intense glare in his eyes or the horrified look that took over him.
I took a slow step back, and then I circled around him to continue on my path; all while staring at him in disbelief.
I waited for a few seconds that felt so long. I waited for something... anything!
An apology, maybe... the truth... a hug even... or the word son......
But the only answer I got when the Aello started moving again was his head shaking slowly in complete shock and disbelief
"No..." he said.
I suddenly realized that I had nothing to wait for anymore. My feet moved on their own as I started running away from him.
I ran and ran for a few minutes. When I almost tripped, I halted to breathe. I looked back; loathing myself for expecting the Aello to run after me or call for me. But he didn't.
'No', he said
'No' was all I got...
"About time!! Where the hell have you been??"...
I was greeted by Drita, who started scolding me for being late. She snatched the bag of food from my shoulder and carried it for me. She started telling me that she already got me some fruits and that I didn't need to ask the Aellos for it. Suddenly, she stopped and grabbed my upper arm
"What's wrong? What happened??"
I didn't answer her. I had no idea what to say, and frankly, I didn't want to talk. I just continued to walk and she walked past me to show me the way. We started climbing the mountain. Drita demanded to know if I was alright, asking if the meeting with the Aellos scared me. Her voice held more worry than anger or scolding; but it didn't snap me out of the turmoil that swarmed inside my heart.
I climbed slowly, yet still managed to slip a couple of times. Drita caught me and yelled at me to open my eyes and try not to get myself killed. I nodded each time, making her stare at me in confusion.
Finally, we got to the top of the mountain. The first thing I saw was my aunt pacing back and forth, with Rhonwen standing close to her, trying to calm her down.
As soon as her eyes fell on me, Halina ran to hug me tight
"You're back! My child! You're back to me!!!"
She kissed my forehead. I let her make sure I was there in one piece before I started towards the cave.
"Ceri, why are you looking so sad? Ceri!!"
I didn't answer. I couldn't. I just walked forward, leaving my aunt to interrogate Drita thinking that she was the reason behind my silence.
I walked to my corner, at the further end of the cave, and I sat down on my bed.
I hugged my knees to me, unable to think straight.
Halina approached me. She sat beside me and caressed my head gently.
"Ceri, please tell me what happened. Did you meet the Leader?"
I nodded.
"Good. Then... did they say bad things to you??"
I shook my head, wishing she would leave me alone just enough for me to sort my thoughts.
"Then what happened? Did they scare you? It's ok to be scared, honey. It's your first time meeting Aellos and they can look scary. But they're not mean, I promise"
When I didn't answer, she seemed to let go for now. She sighed heavily, and then tried her best to smile: "It's ok. Take some rest and we'll talk another time. Just...... you know I'm here for you, Ceri... I love you, my child"
I didn't know why that last phrase broke my limit. Yes, Halina loved me... But my father didn't
My tears started streaking down my cheeks uncontrollably and I broke into a sob. I leaned to the side and hugged Halina around her waist.
I wasn't the man I grew up to become anymore... The instant he said my mother's name, I was the seven year old boy who stood for hours and hours every day, watching the thick forest and waiting for a father who never came to claim him.
But this boy will never wait anymore. I will never imagine an alternative happier life or a day that things will change. I could no longer deny the painful truth. Because I finally got what I wanted. I finally found my father.
'No' the Aello said......... with a deep frown and a heavy glare in his eyes
Eyes that rejected me...
I've always wanted a father. And now it was confirmed
My father didn't want me.
~~~~~~
AN: That last part tore my heart for Ceri :( Poor baby, he waited for so long...