I couldn't believe it.
This was not happening. This absolutely could not be happening right now. This was like something straight out of a nightmare only I couldn't wake up from it at all.
"Allison? Allison," came a familiar voice trying to shake me back to reality but I wasn't responding.
My voice was completely gone along with all emotion. I felt so completely empty, as if someone had come and carved out my insides. Everything else around me was muffled as if I was underwater. Is this what shock feels like?
All that kept repeating in my mind was the question of how. How could I have lost? Over Aaron? I have seen his work before; it was nothing special. Maybe he was good at documentary but poetry? And I'm trying to stay humble here but dammit my work is ten times better than his! Or at least enough to beat him in a competition. Especially this competition. Regardless when putting all the pieces together it all lead up to one factor: this is not possible. I had lost. I didn't win the competition.
My nausea from earlier came back only it was for a different reason.
"Allison!" said the voice again with more emphasis.
I slowly turned my head towards the sound. It was Sara looking at me with concern. I almost didn't feel her hands on my shoulder. "Are you okay?" she asked although she clearly didn't have to.
I tried to gather my thoughts before it all boiled down to one thing.
"I . . . lost."
Tears started forming in the corner of my eyes. I didn't realize how badly I wanted to win until I had lost. The opportunity to become something is over and gone. Lost to the creepy guy who definitely didn't deserve it. A part of me told myself that I should be happy for him but an even bigger part said fuck him.
Suddenly small warm arms surrounded me. "It's going to be okay. There are other publishers out there that are even better than Harrington and they would love to have you! I promise this isn't the end," she held me even tighter. "You are going to be something, I just know it. Maybe Harrington just wasn't the right fit for you. Actually, I know they are not if they can't see how amazing you are."
Her words were nice but they didn't really hit home like they should. Instead I sent her a small smile and took in a deep breath trying to get myself at least slightly together. I didn't want to break down right here in front of everyone. Especially Jasper.
I looked towards him beneath Sara's hold only to find an empty seat. Confused I pulled back slightly to ask, "Where did Jasper go?"
She furrowed her eyebrows. "Who?"
"I mean, um, Dr. Andrews," I corrected quickly.
If she thought that something was off about what I said she didn't show it. "I'm not sure. He got up as soon as they announced Aaron's name and left. He looked super pissed."
Well then that makes two of us. "You have no idea where though?"
"I don't," She shook her head. "Why?"
"No reason," I sighed. I tried not to but my eyes drifted up to the stage where Aaron was accepting his award. He looked excited although a bit surprised. Seeing him up there like that made me feel even sicker. I stood up from my seat abruptly. "I'm going to go get some air," I stomped off.
I know that I was acting like a brat, and I know that I shouldn't be so negative, but dammit this is not how I wanted my night to go. I didn't want the entire week to lead up to failure. Now when Ben calls I'm going to have to explain to him that I lost, I let them all down. The one time I can be equal with the favorite child I lost the opportunity.
Now I'm just going to sit through listening about his success feeling worthless in his shadow. When they ask me what I have been up to after he tells his elaborate story about rebuilding a town all I get to say is, "Oh I wrote a couple of good poems. I got into a huge writing convention and entered a competition for a contract with the best publisher but lost to some creep. But at least I tried right?!"
I groaned trying to push back the tears. I really didn't want to ruin my make-up but after letting a tear slip through the rest came rushing out. This was my chance to become somebody besides Ben's younger sister that does nothing valuable. Now, I'm back to being worthless and irrelevant to my family.
The battle of restraining tears was officially lost. Pity party was now in full swing as I walked down the hallways feeling heavier and heavier with each step. When making my way to my unknown destination I stumbled upon a corner that looked quite, vacant, and most importantly far away from the ballroom. It was good enough to let me collapse into a pool of tears.
Turning my heels, I went to the spot and leaned against the wall trying to steady my breathing. Being alone probably isn't the best thing right now, but it was better than being stuck in a room celebrating a pervert.
I'm not sure how long I stayed there, but as soon as I wiped away the tears and was ready to leave I heard multiple pairs of footsteps coming closer. They stopped near where I was sitting and suddenly it wasn't so quite anymore.
"What the fuck do you think you are doing, June?" came a deep voice filled with vehemence.
It took a moment for the other person to answer. "I have no idea what you are talking about, Jasper."
I jerked up surprised. Surely this can't be my Jasper. Sara did say he walked off though. I then peeked my head around the corner to see the familiar professor glaring at a woman with platinum blonde hair wearing a long black dress. Ms. Harrington.
"Don't you give me that bullshit," his dark eyes absolutely piercing hers. "I read his poetry, if you could even call it that."
She crossed her arms defensively. "As did I and I found that it was filled with interesting and intelligent content. Everything we are looking for at Harrington Publishing. He is truly an exceptional victor."
Jasper scoffed. "He is a below standard writer who doesn't give a shit about poetry," he fired back. "You and I both know the real reason why he won."
"Oh?" challenge in her voice. "And what reason might that be?"
Jasper took a step closer to her looking at her evenly. "Because he's your fuck buddy."
A small gasp slipped through my lips and I quickly covered my mouth. I definitely do not want to be caught. Nonetheless my mind was reeling at the new information. Is this true? Is Aaron sleeping around with Ms. Harrington? Surely not because he's been trying to get with me just the other night. But maybe . . .
Jasper continued when she didn't answer quickly enough. "And don't try to deny it. I saw you two in the elevator the other day."
Damn, what is it with the elevators here?
The edge of her lip curled up. "Is that jealousy in your tone I hear?"
"Not even close," he spat.
Even from behind I could tell Ms. Harrington was flustered just like Jasper wanted. "If you are suggesting that I am mixing my personal life with business then you are sadly mistaken," she spat.
"What goes on behind doors does not influence my opinions or work--"
"Bullshit," his voice was even deeper than before. "You and I both know that your personal life has influenced many of your decisions."
"Including your status here?" she gave him a coy smile. Again I was hit with a wave of surprise. So my suspicions of his nice room being due to his relation with Ms. Harrington is true? I'm not sure how I should feel about that.
However, Jasper was noticeably pissed. "Don't try to change the subject. This isn't about me, it's about you and your bias."
"My bias?" she feigned the look of confusion.
"Yes! Because of your bias towards your stupid Latino lover, this whole convention was for nothing. People who actually deserved to win did not all because of some good fuck," he was practically fuming. Ms. Harrington was visibly upset by this point but he didn't stop there. Instead he ran his fingers through his hair in frustration messing up his clean-cut look before he began again, "I mean, why did you even offer the competition if you knew the only way to win was through your open legs?"
Her body visibly stiffened at the blow. That stung a bit even though she completely deserved it. I had no idea Jasper could be this way. All because Aaron winning. I wasn't sure if I liked this side of him or not.
After a moment of deafening silence her body slowly relaxed and she replaced her glare with a smug smile. "Interesting," she shifted her weight to her right hip. "And by deserving winner I assume that you mean a certain girl with green eyes?"
Now it was his turn to visibly stiffen. This clearly wasn't the response he was expecting. I had to admit neither was I. A girl with green eyes? A part of me believed that she might be talking about me but there is no way that's possible.
Jasper's look of satisfaction began to dwindle as she continued, "Perhaps you have forgotten a few important details so let me remind you, Mr. Andrews," now it was her turn to take a step closer to him. "I am the key sponsor of this hotel, and as such I have access to many things including security cameras," she took another step but he stood his ground. "Cameras located everywhere in the hotel . . . including the elevators."
My heart went off like a gun. She knows. Holy shit, she knows!
It appears that I am not the only one surprised because Jasper looked completely floored, his skin turning a few shades lighter. Suddenly, he didn't have anything to say.
She took another step closer cornering him in like a predator and he the prey.
"I saw the entire show; it was rather scandalous I must say. More scandalous than my Latino lover," she spat the word. "What was it that you said? 'You have no idea what you do to me, Allison' 'You are so sexy, Allison' 'Tonight I'm going to fuck you with my--"
"Stop," Jasper's voice was weaker than before. The vehemence gone replaced with defeat.
Her smug smile returned and she reached out her long fingers to brush his tie, "All that I am saying is do not mistaken our history for means to talk to me in such a foul manner, Mr. Andrews. The power you think you have over me is nothing more than a flame in my inferno," her eyes flicked up to his eyeing him evenly. "I could crush you without lifting a finger if I wanted. So be a dear and don't blabber about things you know nothing about." He didn't say a word, he didn't have to. Everything he was feeling was expressed throughout his body, and she knew it.
It pained me to see him this way trapped behind her glare, but there was nothing I could really do. If I left from the corner they would know I was there the whole time. Revealing myself meant that I heard more than I should have and if I learned anything from my British Literature class it's to never gamble with people of power. Instead all I could do was watch as he failed to defend my honor as well as tearing hers down.
After eyeing him for a moment longer she released his tie and turned to walk off. She was heading in my direction so I slunk back lower in my little nook. Her heels clicked against the floor until I heard them stop.
"Oh and Jasper," I heard her call out. "Before you judge me and accuse me of such low accusations you might want to look at yourself first. You are not as innocent as you think you are."
And with that her heels started making more clicking noises as she walked past me leaving behind a trail of her musky perfume. I wanted to gag. After she was gone I heard the sound of something hitting the wall and a gruff, "Dammit!" before stomping off.
I counted to three before peeking my head around the corner. The corner they had inhabited was now vacant. I sighed in relief and decided it was time to make my exit too. I had more than enough for today.
While making my way towards the ballroom to get my purse my mind worked through all of the information I had acquired unintentionally. First of all, Aaron won because he slept with Ms. Harrington. Although I'm not sure how true that statement may be with lack of evidence although I had no reason to doubt Jasper.
Another thing, Jasper and Ms. Harrington had history that stretched beyond their make-out session in the elevator. Of course it seems that whatever was going on clearly expired if not before the little heated incident moments ago. Regardless, it impacts Jasper somehow.
And one last thing, Jasper stood up for me against the most powerful person here at the convention, her convention. Despite whatever history they had, he tossed it to the side to defend me.
A warm feeling started inside my chest growing to my face. Does he really care about me that much? Maybe I wasn't fooling myself, maybe he really does like me. Perhaps the drunken hook up was only the start of things, granted an awful start depending on how you look at it. But maybe I meant more to him than just some girl in the elevator. Could it be possible? I couldn't hide the smile on my face as I pulled out my phone to text Sara letting her know that I'm more than okay.
"Such a pretty picture. I wonder what thoughts you must be having to smile like that," came a familiar voice sending a chill down my spine. "Hopefully they are about me," he chuckled.
I looked up to see Aaron leaning against the wall watching as I walked towards the elevators. My steps faltered at the sight of him. He looked completely drunk. Not a good sign.
"What are you doing?"
He slowly raised an eyebrow. "Mi amor, can't a man just appreciate the sight of a beautiful woman such as yourself?"
I almost spat Not if said man is fucking an older hag, but I bit my tongue. He can't know that I found out about his little affair or else he will tell Ms. Harrington making her seek out vengeance on me.
Instead I took in a deep breath trying to gather my next words. "Go back home, Aaron. You reek of booze and we are leaving tomorrow."
"I can't go home, that's an hour away," his grin drooped slightly.
I rolled my eyes. "I meant go back to your hotel room."
"And miss out on my celebration? Yeah right!" he laughed to himself as if it was some hilarious joke that I didn't get. I waited until his laughter died down when suddenly her jerked up as if he remembered something. "By the way, you haven't congratulated me for my victory yet."
How much would it cost my family to bail me out of jail tonight?
"Congrats," I said half-heartedly.
He flashed his dazzling smile, or once dazzling. It lost some of its luster once I found out his sleeping habits. "Thanks, Alli. Can I call you Alli? The name Allison is so formal and you, my lady, are definitely not formal. Especially in that dress," he eyed me up and down licking his lips hungrily.
My comfort level dropped completely and I decided it was time to get out of here. I started pushing past him, "Like I said, you're drunk. Go to bed--"
Suddenly I was pushed against the wall. His firm body pressed against mine making it difficult to move. His smile now twisted, "Not until I get that dance you promised."
My eyes widened. I had completely forgot about that. "Let me go, Aaron."
He frowned. "What for? I like being this way, don't you? Maybe not the best dancing position but we could make it work. Unless," he started tracing his fingers up my sides, "you want to do a different dance. Possibly in my room you keep asking me to go to? Only there will be a lot less clothing. How do you feel about the dirty tango?" he said with a wicked gleam behind his eyes making my stomach turn.
"Aaron I said let me go," I tried to push against him but he grabbed my wrists and pinned them above my head firmly.
"And I said not until I get my dance," he spoke through gritted teeth. "Do you remember the last time we danced? How we meshed together so well? You are just like her. And it's been so long since I've had anyone like her," he held both of my hands in one of his while his other hand slid down my side.
My heart sped up in my chest and not in the good way. I don't know who this her person is but I don't want any part of it. I was about to tell him this when he continued, "I wanted you so badly, Allison, but something always got in the way. Maybe you were trying to play hard to get. Maybe fate wanted me to work harder for you. Regardless," his fingers stopped under my chin jerking me to look at him, "If I can't have her back I will have you," and he crushed his lips on mine.
Eyes wide I tried even harder to push him off. When I got even the slightest inch apart I yelled out hoping someone would hear me but he grabbed my face again forcing the kiss further. "Stop fighting it, Alli," he growled against my lips. "We are meant to be together."
"Get off!" I demanded. But instead he deepened the kiss forcing his wet tongue in my mouth. I screamed with my mouth enclosed around his still trying to fight him off but he held his ground. Extremely pissed now I bit down on his tongue, hard.
He jumped back. "Ow, what the fuck?!" he yelled holding his mouth.
My breathing came out ragged. "I said get the fuck off of me," I growled each word satisfied about his pain.
He examined his now bleeding tongue then turned his icy glare to me. "You little bit--"
But before he could finish that statement a fist collided with his face causing him to fall to the ground in a drunken heap.
I was so surprised I almost didn't see who it was until I followed the fist to a man with dark eyes now glaring at the body on the floor.
"Bastard," his husky voice growled at Aaron's now unconscious body.
My heart leaped happily.
"Jasper!"
When his eyes landed on mine he launched himself at me winding his arms around me. "Are you okay? I'm so sorry I didn't come sooner. If I had known that this was going on . . . "
I shook my head against his chest. The familiar smell of spice and honey filling my nose instantly calming me down. "There was no way of you knowing. It's fine now. I'm fine."
He pulled me back to look at me. "Are you sure? He didn't touch you did he? I swear if that bastard laid a finger on you--"
I held up a hand silencing him. "He didn't hit me, if that's what you are suggesting." I frowned looking at Aaron's body taken out so easily by one hit. "Actually, I think I did more damage to him than he did to me," I smiled sheepishly.
The edge of his lips curled up. God I miss the feel of those. "Impressive, Ms. Miller. Very impressive."
A sudden wicked spark ran through my body. "I can do a lot of impressive things, Dr. Andrews," my words coming out more heated than expected.
Reading into my hidden meaning his eyes widened. I couldn't help it honestly. After he defended me not once but twice today, a part of me I had trapped for so long had sprung free wanting a repeat of what happened on the elevator.
And I wanted it now.
In truth I had known that this attempt would have occurred long before he defended me. The moment I saw him arrive in his suit I knew it was all over. Whatever lust I had been trying to push down I was now suffocating on. This isn't a game anymore. The rules have changed.
"Ms. Miller," he lowered his husky voice so only I could hear. "Such suggestive language from a student to her professor is not deemed appropriate."
Grinning I took a step closer to him. "Indeed, Dr. Andrews. Any honorable woman would not speak in such a way to her superior," using the full extent of my sex appeal I reached up to place my lips next to his ear. "It's a good thing I'm not an honorable woman."
_______________________________________________________________________________
Authors Note:
YASSS ALLISON!
So now that we have established they are both not honorable I can finally put this gif up
NO RAGRETS
Anyway! I hope you all enjoyed!
+Questions: Are you excited that Allison has finally given in? And what about Aaron? I wanted to portray him as a sort of man-whore from the beginning so let me know what you guys think!
+Fun Fact: It took me almost a week to write this chapter I had such bad writers block. If this ever occurs to you I strongly suggest you taking a mental break and just walk around outside for a while.
As always if you are enjoying this so far please consider leaving a vote/comment letting me know!
Sincerely,
Snow
P.S. As you may have already guessed next chapter has strong adult content, ye be warned.