The dawn following the final conclave was chaos. The final conclave had been an amazing distraction, a time for every pirate to celebrate together before everyone was forced to return to Effugere on the day of the solstice. I had originally planned on staying away from Firesweet, blaming the drink for Briamy’s rash actions. But I couldn’t do it. I was unable to feel the music without it, unable to dance my troubles away and forget my losses. I stumbled over my own feet, listless in my movements. By the end of that first song pirates were beginning to notice, attributing the emptiness to Mají’s absence.
I headed straight for the bar when the comment struck home, bent on getting a drink, a real drink, to encourage livelihood. But before I could say a word the bartender, a younger red-head with a self-satisfied smirk on her face, placed a bowl of Firesweet spheres and walked away. I drank four of them, giving me enough energy to pretend to have a good time. Each time I returned to the bar after that she gave me another sphere, nearly making me sick by the time dawn arrived.
Everyone drudged through the doors of the compound when Vidan announced that the night was over, guys out the front, and girls out the back. Together we wove our way through the narrow streets of the new city. I walked beside Obsidarian listening to him rattle off the events I had missed by hiding in my quarters for the past fortnight.
I nodded absentmindedly, only half paying attention as I lead the throng of pirates through the streets to the edge of the city, where the little meadow, strewn with boulders, was located. It was the point where we had all entered the game, and it would be the point where we would leave it as well.
“Are you listening Piratess?” he asked.
I glanced at my first mate guiltily. This would be the third time I had made him repeat his report because I couldn’t pay focus.
“Shall I go over it again?” he said, sighing and smiling slightly.
I grinned half-heartedly, trying once more to listen to his words.
“Three crew members have left since you became captain.” he began. “Despite the Griffon’s words, they refuse to serve with Narasia. Members of other crews, among them Storm’s first mate and many of Carnie’s girls, have shown up at the gates asking to join the crew. I told them they could see you next year, is that ok?”
“Yea,” I agreed. “Good call Obsidarian.”
My first mate swelled with pride, beaming at the small praise before he continued.
“Carnie showed up as well, demanding to speak with you. She threatened to call you out in a public challenge if we turned her away. I accepted of course, but told her she wouldn’t be let through the gate while she still had her rapier in her possessions. She wouldn’t come in unarmed though, so you never had to listen to her. Other than that it’s been pretty quiet; minor problems, nothing to worry you about.”
I nodded, allowing the short conversation to lapse into silence. I wondered if Carnie would have tried to kill me, to avenge her brother’s death, or if she too would understand. She and Mají were closer than Red and I. Yet if she had killed Red… would I have killed her for it? I was sure that if Mají had killed me that Red wouldn’t have cared. He would have hidden behind Tempest Storm and ignored my death as much as he had ignored my life. Mají was different from Red. He had protected Carnie, and would have killed for her, but would she do the same?
I continued to wander in my thoughts as I led everyone to the meadow. I still had to move around like I was in a dream, or I would get lost like any other pirate. Yet as I took the final turn, something was different. The image before me did not match the one in my mind. My focus snapped back and I stopped moving, forcing those behind me to stop as well. Bodies dotted the grass near the rocks, sprawled in different positions, asleep. Yet as I watched them, they winked out, one by one, disappearing entirely, leaving a younger girl to stand in the center of the meadow alone.
She was dressed strangely, a tattered grey cloak hanging limply off her shoulders, its hood pulled over her head, obscuring most of her features. But even with the shadows cast on her face by the hood; I could see her eyes. She ignored me at first, her unnaturally bright green eyes darting from one body to the next, watching as they disappeared. When the last one was gone, she looked up and met my eyes. Defiantly she pulled her hood back, proudly lifting her chin when her face was exposed.
She was pale, in a way that no other pirate was. We had all lived in the sunshine and heat for the entire year, and every one of us had been tanned by the sun, our hair brightened by the constant light. Yet her skin looked pale enough to burn in minutes, and her hair was a dark, rich red. It shone in the early morning light, the edges gleaming a deep copper.
Her defiant eyes were lined with kohl, the dark powder drawing out from the corners of her eyes in a single thick line. But her eyes could not command my attention, not when I noticed her tattoo. It was of two snakes, onyx on her left cheek and dark emerald on her right. Their tails stopped just above her lower jaw, with each serpentine body winding its way up her cheek, through the dark kohl streak by her eye, and across her forehead until they met one another in the center. They then wrapped around one another, twice, their heads pointed downward, stopping above her eyebrows.
She smirked as I stared, letting me visually drink my fill before she sank to the ground, curled up slightly, closed her eyes, and disappeared like the others.
“What was that?” I asked after a few seconds.
“That was a who, and a she,” Jumé said, shoving his way through the other pirates to reach Obsidarian and I. “I believe she comes from the frozen wastelands of the deep west. They harbor no affinity for those outside their crew, and are not seen on days other than the solstice.”
I nodded slowly, permitting myself to be guided forward by Jumé on one arm and Obsidarian on the other.
“I would tell you more,” Jumé offered. “But I fear we are out of time, we must be return to Effugere before the sun has fully risen.”
“Lie down my queen,” Obsidarian instructed under his breath. “I will watch over you before you sleep, but the others can’t sleep before you do.”
I grudgingly listened, feeling awkward as I closed my eyes in the damp grass in front of hundreds of pirates. I thought I would never sleep, lying there rigidly, opening my eyes every few seconds to make sure no one thought to kill me right before we returned to camp. Yet as I watched the sun rise slowly, my eyes grew heavy, and despite my fears, I succumbed to a deep sleep.
When I opened my eyes I was back in my cabin in Effugere. I moved my hand slowly, waving it in front of my face in a test of willpower. My hand moved as I commanded it to, and I sat up slowly, looking around the cabin I had once occupied with Briamy, or whoever Briamy was in reality. The cabin now stood empty, the other bed and wardrobe completely empty of belongings. Her make-up was also absent, leaving half the surface of the vanity bare.
A pale red dress was draped carefully over the back of the vanity chair, what I was meant to wear today. I stepped out of my nightclothes and slipped the dress over my head, twisting my hands behind my back to tie the sash in the neatest bow I could ever recall tying in my life. I turned back to the nightclothes, picking them up and packing them neatly into one of the bags neatly stowed beneath my bed, already ready to be taken to the car.
When I stood and turned to the vanity, reaching for the brush on the counter, I froze, seeing the lady reflected back to me through the mirror. I looked nothing like I had only hours ago. The lady was pale, her skin creamy and unblemished by the sun’s touch. She bore none of the little scars I had accumulated through the year, and possessed no tattoo on her left shoulder. Her blonde hair was a honeyed gold, and silky when I reached up to touch the perfect locks. Her posture was perfect, her lips pursed slightly in a way that looked confident without arrogance. But her eyes… I could see myself in her eyes; blue eyes that were slightly narrowed with mistrust and glazed with fresh loss.
I sat down at the vanity, suddenly aware at the rush of sensation I felt beneath my feet. The polished wooden floor was cool beneath my bare feet, but I could feel every imperfection in its surface with my uncalloused skin. I had grown accustomed to running barefoot everywhere, and my feet had grown tough, now they tingled with sensitivity.
I reached for the various boxes and bottles of products to apply to my face, highlighting features expertly though I had no conscious memory of ever having seen any of the products before. It was like muscle memory and the haze of everyday routine rolled into one concept. I knew how to do this, some part of me remembered learning how to use the different products while the rest of me was fighting and stealing.
A knock sounded at the door as I finished. I rose gracefully, managing to keep my spine straight while I stepped into my heels and walked to open it. My brother stood outside the door, cleaner than I ever remembered him in a dark blue dress shirt, black slacks, and shoes that shone with polish.
“May I come in Darling?” he asked coolly, a half smile plastered to his face.
“Of course Dearest,” I answered demurely, stepping out of his way so he could enter the cabin.
“I’m here to take your things to the loading area before Mother arrives,” he explained. “If you could pack your final bag I will be able to retrieve it when I finish with the rest of your belongings.”
I nodded, turning obediently to grab the last bag and pack the lotions and make-up away securely. My brother took a pair of suitcases and carried them out the door, returning a few minutes later to grab another pair of bags. He was quick enough that he was able to grab my make-up bag by the time he finished with the rest of my things, promising to return to escort me to the car.
I took his proffered arm lightly when he came back for me, letting him guide me down the steps and through the camp.
“I don’t forgive you for disowning me by the way,” I said quietly as we walked toward the parking lot.
“I know,” he said, sighing slightly. “It’s who you are.”
“Then you know I’m going to be secretly angry at you all summer,” I continued. “Even if I have to play nice to make Mother happy, I will be planning on how to best make you miserable when we return.”
“I know,” he repeated, falling silent as we neared the car.
Our mother was talking to Lord Pipit as we approached, beaming at the balding man with the shiny walking stick. She stopped mid-sentence when she saw my brother and I, staring dumbly as we took the last few steps. I paused before her, suddenly awkward and nervous. I had changed in the time we had been apart, killed people, stolen things, found a home in another world… yet it was now that I trembled like a child. I had missed her. I wanted to run into her arms, but I didn’t. We hadn’t parted on the best terms, and now I didn’t know how to break the ice between us.
It was Lord Pipit who spoke. “You’ve come a long way Darling, we shall look forward to your return.”
I nodded politely to him, noticing for the first time the pale green color of his eyes. He tilted his head toward my mother, reminding me that I still needed to greet her.
So I dropped into a curtsy, a movement I could feel I had repeated at least a hundred times over the year. When I stood there were tears in my mom’s eyes. She hugged me, pulling me against her in a way that threatened not to let go for days.
“I’m sorry Darling,” she whispered.
“Forgiven before you asked,” I answered. “You had my best interests at heart.”
She nodded against my shoulder, finally loosening her hold so she could look at me.
“Ready to go back?” she asked, clicking the button to unlock the car.
I nodded slowly, exchanging glances with my brother as we followed her to the car. My brother opened the car doors for my mother and me, climbing in last. I moved to slouch against the window, only to find that I couldn’t. Not initially, the movement had to be forced, and holding the position was more trouble than it was worth. The moment I stopped focusing on slouching my spine snapped back like a rubber band and forced me to sit up straight. I sighed; I was already beginning to count down the days until my return to Effugere, and we hadn’t even left the parking lot. It was great to see my mom, but for the next month I would be acting, being someone I knew I was not.
My mom started the car, pulling out of the parking lot and weaving through the other cars on the way to the gate. I stared out the window, my back perfectly straight, my hands folded neatly in my lap, already beginning to zone out; until I saw him.
He looked amazing, smug smile hovering on his lips as the light New York breeze ruffled his black hair. I thought I was wrong, but then he turned to look at the car, and our eyes met. There was no mistaking those black eyes; Mají-jalio’s eyes.
It was too late to stop, too late to turn back, so I watched him through the car window, twisting around in my seat to continue to look at him through the back woods as we drove away. I kept staring, until we turned the corner, losing him to my sight forever.
End