Chapter 11: Break
“Where the hell have you been?”
Shock filled my body as I stared at the person in front of me with my mouth draping open. I couldn't speak, I couldn't move. I couldn't even breath. I dropped the keys I had been holding, and they hit the floor with a clang. Tears filled my eyes, and my bottom lip wobbled lightly.
“Harry?” I barely got out through a whisper. Harry was fuming, and his hands were balled into fists. I saw him huffing, and his teeth were clenched. Something ticked him off, whatever that was.
“Where the hell have you been, Chloe? I've been sitting here, waiting for you for over an fucking hour. I was worried about you.” He gritted, and took a step closer. I opened and closed my mouth several times, not knowing what to say. Harry's glared softened slightly when he looked me deeply in the eyes. My heart stung as soon I looked into those sparkling blue eyes. They had just thrown back two years worth of memories into my head as I stood there dumbfounded.
“What the hell happened to the bathroom mirror?” He asked with a serious tone. I blinked several times, and shifted uncomfortably as I looked at my bruised knuckles. Harry caught this, and looked at my cut hand with a pained expression. I looked at feet, and then looked up at Niall quickly. He gave me a protective look, and the corners of my mouth twitched up into a smile. I looked back at Harry, and the smile faded. He gave Niall a hard glare, causing him to growl. I played with the hem of the hoodie I was wearing, and swallowed the lump in my throat.
“W-What are you doing here?” I stuttered, and I felt Harry's warm breath beaming on my face. My heart was beating quickly, and I felt like my pelvis was going to explode. I wanted Harry. Right here, right now. That's how much I missed him.
“Am I not allowed to be in my own god damn apartment anymore?” He barked, causing me to flinch slightly. My tears were officially gone, and my stomach had butterflies.
“N-no it's just...the show.” I tried choosing my words carefully, but it just came out like rubbish.
“We all got a week off to visit family, so I came here to see you. I wanted to surprise you but you never answered the fucking door. I let myself in just to find the bathroom trashed, and you out with some guy.” He sneered, and my mouth dropped slightly. Was he really jealous of Niall?
“I needed to get my mind off some things.” I mumbled, and Harry chuckled bitterly as he looked away from my gaze. He run his fingers through his soft curls before looking at me sharply.
“Am I one of those things you need to get your mind off of?” He snapped, and I avoided eye contact. I heard huff, and laugh angry. I felt tears form in my eyes as I wrapped my arms around my torso.
“Did you fuck him?” He asked, and my jaw dropped. I looked up at him with wide eyes. I felt a tear escape, and I shook my head fiercely.
“Who could you even ask me that?” I asked shocked, and Harry grinned evilly. He glared at me, and bit his lip hard. My bottom lip began to wobble, and wiped away a tear.
“What about you? If anybody here isn't loyal, it's you.” I gritted, and Harry's glared went away as shock filled his face. His jaw dropped, and he stepped closer to me.
“What the hell are you talking about? I’ve been away, hurting over being away from you for five fucking weeks.” He shouted into my face, and I flinched. Niall growled, and stepped in front of me protectively.
“Hey, I think it's time you leave.” Niall suggested, and Harry's expression turned into shock. He let out a laugh, and looked at me like Niall was crazy.
“Is he serious?” He asked me, and laughed. He looked back at Niall, and glared.
“I don't know if you've noticed, but this is my fucking apartment. If anybody needs to leave, it's you.” He sneered, poking Niall's chest roughly. Niall's hands balled into fists, and he looked at Harry with a death glare.
“I'll leave when i'm damn good and ready.” Niall let out smooth, and swallowed the lump in my throat. Harry smirked at him evilly before pulling his fist back, and punching Niall straight in the nose. Niall stumbled back a little with a groan, and my jaw dropped. Niall wiped away a little blood coming out of his bottom lip, and growled. He went to go punch Harry went I stopped him. I looked at him with tear filled, pleading eyes.
“Niall, no. Please...just, leave.” I begged, and he continued to shoot daggers at Harry. A couple of tears escape, and I sniffled.
“Please.” I begged, and Niall looked at me softly. His eyes softened, and he sighed.
“Fine. For you.” He mumbled. I smiled, and thanked him softly. Niall glared at harry once last time before opening the door sharply.
“You got fucking lucky.” He gritted before turned on his heel, and leaving the apartment. Harry chuckled bitterly, and kicked the couch next to him hard. I wiped away the escaped tears, and turned to Harry with a death glare.
“What the fuck was that? Niall didn't do shit.” I shouted. Harry looked at me through his lashes with a glare, and looked at his fists with a frown. He didn't say anything, instead he just kept glaring at me like I ran over his puppy or something. I sniffled, and bit my lip hard. I looked away, and gripped my hair tightly.
“I just...I just can't do this anymore.” I whispered painfully, and tears streamed down my face. My vision became blurry and I blinked them away quickly. I heard Harry's light footsteps from behind me. I felt the presence of him standing right behind me as he breathed on my neck softly.
“We can fix whatever this is, Chloe. I know we can. Just tell me what you need, and I’ll do it.” he whispered, and my heart stung. I held back a sob. I knew what I had to tell him.
“I-I-I...I can't keep leading you on, Harry.” I whispered, and my heart broke as I spoke the words I never wanted to speak. I wiped away the tears that were streaming down quickly, and sniffled.
“I've just...fallen out of love with you, and I can't keep pretending that I care about you when I don't.” I gritted, angry. I wasn't angry at Harry, I was angry at myself for lying.
Harry made his way in front of me, and he cupped my cheek softly. I looked into his glossy eyes, and my heart shattered. He looked so broken, and confused. I could tell he was holding back a sob as he clenched his teeth tightly.
“You don't mean that.” He gritted, and my bottom lip wobbled. I nodded softly, and let out a small sob.
“Yes, I do. I don't care about you anymore.” I lied, and Harry let out a tear. He shook his head fiercely, and pulled away. He gripped his curls tightly, and sniffled.
“Yes, you do. I know you do,” he started. He then let go of his curls, and grabbed my hand. He set it above his heart, and it was beating quickly. “You feel that? It's all you, baby. You. Only you. Want to know why? Because you're my girl.” He tried convincing me, and I blinked slowly. I opened my mouth to respond, but stopped myself. I wanted hug him, and tell him that he was my boy...but I didn't. Instead I said, and did nothing.
“Just...tell me what you need, and I’ll give it to you.” He whispered desperately, and I sobbed. I was hurting, a lot.
“I need,” I pulled my hand away from his heart, and wiped away my tears. “For you to let me go.” I whispered, and Harry's jaw dropped slightly. His eyes were extremely watery now, and the streams were streaming. He shook his head quickly, and shoved his hand in his pocket. He then pulled out a little velvet box, and my whole world just crashed once he opened it revealing a beautiful diamond ring. An engagement ring.
“Let you go? Do you even understand what you're asking me to do? You're asking me to just...throw away my whole god damn world Chloe,” he started, and grabbed my left hand. He shoved the ring of my finger roughly, and tried his best to smile. “I came here to ask you something. Something I’ve been carrying around for a while now.” He started, and got down on one knee. Only shit.
“Will you marry me, Chloe?” He whispered, desperately. My jaw dropped, and tears filled my eyes. My heart broke into a million pieces as I looked down at Harry. I've tried my best to break off with him for his career, and everything has just gotten worse.
“Harry, I-” I started, and he listened closely. I swallowed the lump in my throat, and clenched my teeth.
“No.” I gritted, and Harry's look of desperation turned into heartbreak. His eyes filled with tears, and he blinked several times.
“What?” He whispered broken, and I tried my best not to breakdown.
“I said, no.” I gritted, and a tear slipped out of his eyes. He looked away, and didn't say anything. I could of sworn I heard the crack as my heart broke. Harry slowly made his way to his feet, and I could see the tears stream down his face as I stood there emotionless. He wiped away a couple, and took a shaky breath.
“No, no...you're lying.” He shouted, and I shook my head. I wiped away the tears threatening to fall, and took a breath.
“No, i'm not. I don't love you anymore, why can't you just accept that?” I shouted, and he glared at me.
“Because you're lying.” He gritted, and my teeth clenched. Why can't he take a fucking hint already.
“I'm not lying, Harry. Over the time we've been separated my feelings have gone away.” I lied, and he shook his head.
“Well i'm here now. Does that count for anything?” He asked through a shout, and I frowned. I shook my head slowly.
“No, it doesn't,” I started, and pulled off the beautiful ring slowly. I grabbed Harry's fingers, and set the ring in his palm softly. “Just accept it.” I begged, and Harry let out a few tears. Stay strong, Chloe. Don't break down!
Harry looked up at me through his lashes, and I could see the heartbreak in his eyes. He didn't move, he didn't speak. He just stared at me with a painful look in his eyes. His pale, soft hand tightly enclosed the ring, and his teeth clenched. I watched his beautiful, soft eyes closed tightly. I saw his Adam’s apple move at he swallowed the lump in this throat. I could tell he was trying to stay strong, and not break down which broke my heart. It broke my heart because I had caused him to feel that way. I had broken Harry’s heart....just because I was stupid, and didn't tell Harry to wear protection.
I watched Harry's muscular chest move up and down slowly as he breathed hard. His eyes began to slowly blink open, and his eyes were glossy. I didn't move, and I didn't speak. I stood there, motionless as I watched Harry slowly approach me. I felt his warm breath on my face as he stood above me with pain in his eyes. My heart stung, and my eyes wanted to water as Harry slowly wrapped his arm around my waist. I didn't rebel, or try to push him away. I just gave in to whatever he wanted, or needed.
Harry's wet, now dark blue eyes poured into my empty chocolate brown ones. I shivered at his touch as he pulled me into his hard chest. His arm squeezed my waist gently, and I swallowed the lump in my throat. Harry pulled the hair out of my eyes, and looked at me with furrowed eyebrows. His mouth was in a tight line, and his expression was now blank. He leaned in closer, and I thought he was going to kiss me...but he didn't. I felt his light lips gently brush against mine, and I wanted it. Sadly, I didn't get it. Harry pulled away slightly before touching his lips against mine. I stood there, motionless and breathless as Harry continued to woo me.
“How can you say you don't have feelings for me anymore you clearly do?” He whispered, and I blinked a couple of times. I opened, and closed my mouth many times but nothing came out. I was speechless. I felt goosebumps form on my skin as Harry ran his fingertips up my left arm gently.
“The way I...give you goosebumps just by touching you,” he started as his hand trailed back down my arm, and rested on my hip. He moved his mouth closer to my neck, and gently kissed my delicate skin. I shivered under his soft, warm lips. I felt them form into the shape of a smile as he pulled away slightly. “The way you shiver just by my kiss,” he continued, and pulled away from my neck completely. His mouth trailed off near my ear, and began to whisper. “The way you melt just by the sound of my voice.” He smirked, and I shuttered. He was right. His voice got to me.
He pulled away from my ear, and looked at me softly. His arm was still secure around my waist, and I wasn't sure how to react. Harry bobbed his head down where our forehead were touching, and we were looking each other in the eyes. I felt his hand come up slowly, and he placed it right above my heart. It was beating quickly from Harry’s touch, and he felt it. The corners of his mouth twitched into a smile, and he let out a soft chuckle.
“The way your heart races whenever i'm around you,” he started, and my eyes watered. My heart felt broken, and I wanted to cry. Harry was basically pouring his heart out to me, and I was about to reject him. I couldn't let this baby ruin something so great for him.
“You can't fake sparks like that, baby. You just can't.” He whispered, and I felt the wetness of his tears drip on my face. I couldn't help but let a tear escape myself, and I sniffled. I shook my head softly, and tried pulling away from Harry's grip but with no success. I stopped fighting him, and looked at my feet.
“Let me go, Harry.” I said simply, and Harry didn't move. I heard his breathing in the silent apartment, and bit my lip. Harry still hadn't let me go, so I looked up at him with a glare.
“I said let me go.” I gritted, and his teeth clenched softly. He looked down at me with an angry expression, and shook his head no.
“No, not until we talk about this.” He argued, and my jaw dropped. I laughed bitterly, and looked away. I felt tears come to my eyes as I snapped my head back to look at him.
“What is there to talk about, Harry? I don't love you, anymore.” I tried my best to use my eyes as a way to convince him that I didn't love him back, but it didn't work. Harry looked at me with dark eyes, and he finally released me. He began to stomp around with his hands gripping his curl tightly, and his teeth clenched. I saw the vein began to pop out of his forehead, which frightened me. That only happened when he was really upset, or angry. I had a feeling he was both.
I watched harry as he paced angry across our living room. I stood there with my hands dangling down by my thighs, and my eyebrows gently furrowed. I was waiting for Harry to do something. He didn't stop to talk to me, he didn't yell...he didn't even look at me until he finally came to a stop. He dropped his hands from his curls, and glared at the floor hard. His breathing was heavy, and he looked at me with a death glare. His eyes began to gently soften, and he stomped towards me. My eyes widened slightly, and my mouth dropped open slightly as he crashed his lips against mine. My eyes widened in shock, and I froze. I was still surprised at at the action before my eyes began to droop close, and my arms found their way around his neck. I gripped the back of his V-neck tightly, and kissed him back. I wasn't quite sure what I was doing until Harry pulled away, leaving me wanting more. He looked at me with a small smirk as he gently took my left hand into his grasp. I looked at him with wondering eyes as he then slid the sparkling diamond back onto my ring finger. I was about to protest when Harry shushed me by covering my lips with his index finger.
“J-just...don't speak. Please.” He begged with glossy eyes. I gave in, and kept my mouth shut as Harry continued.
“I-I don't know where our relationship went wrong. I honestly don't, but...but i'm trying. I'm trying so hard to make this work because I love you, Chloe. So much that I can't breath when you're not around, but...I can't do this without you. I can't fight for a relationship that you don't want. A relationship is a team effort, and this won't get anywhere without you.” he started, and I was about to chip in when Harry shushed me once again. I didn't have an expression on my face, but I knew exactly what I was feeling inside. I was feeling heartbreak, pain, sadness, and most of all...regret.
“I know I’ve been a pretty shitty boyfriend lately. Between being away, and not calling you...I don't blame you for being mad but...” He paused, and his eyes were watery. He quickly wiped away a tear, and continued. “but I'm here now. Just...let me make it up to you. Let me show you that I still care, that we can make this work. Let me try.” he begged, and I swallowed the lump in my throat. A few tears streamed down my face, and I sniffled. I opened my mouth many times but, nothing came out. Harry gently pushed my hair out of my eyes, and sighed.
“Just promise me that you'll try.” He begged, and I looked at my hands. I tried blinking away the tears, but they just came faster.
“Harry, I-I-I...” I trailed off. I wasn't quite sure what I was going to say. I wanted to scream that I promise. I wanted to hug him, and never let him go. I wanted to tell him that I loved him...but I couldn't. Harry was finally getting what he had always dreamed of, and I couldn't ruin it. Not now.
“I can't promise you that because honestly...I don't think this can work. This relationship has no hope, anymore. Why can't you just realize that?” I whispered, and Harry looked at his hands in heartbreak. I wiped away my tears, and sniffled.
“I can't realize it, because you won't let me try. All i'm asking you to do, is let me try. That's all I want, Chloe.” He whispered, and looked at me through his lashes. I wanted to give in, and tell him that there was no need to try. That I was already one-hundred percent in love with him once again...but I couldn't.
“There's no use in trying. I already know the result.” I whispered, and his head snapped up quickly. He looked at me with furrowed eyebrows, and his mouth opened slightly. He huffed, and looked away painfully.
“This relationship is over, Harry. Why can't you just accept that?” I shouted loudly, and his hands balled into fists.
“Because it's not over, damn it. Why can't you just fucking give me a chance? You keep saying this relationship is over, and you haven't even given me a damn chance to show you that this can work. That there is a spark. Fuck!” He shouted, and gripped his curls tightly. I flinched at his loud voice slightly, and wiped away my tears. Harry was not huffing in anger, and he looked at me with heartbroken eyes. I watched at he slowly fell to his knees, and hung his head down. He let out a soft sob, and my heart broke.
“Just give me a chance.” He begged, causing me to cry myself. I wanted so badly to hold him in my arms, and tell him that I loved him. I wanted to wipe away his tears, and kiss every inch of his body. He was an angel, and angel didn't deserve to cry.
I slowly walked in front of me, and looked up through his wet lashes. His face was tear stained, and his bottom lip wobbled. I wiped away my tears before speaking.
“I'm sorry Harry, but...this relationship is over. You need to accept that.” I gritted, and he looked at me between sobs.
“Accept it? How can I accept that the love of my life, doesn't love me back anymore? How can I accept, letting my whole world just...fall apart? How can I accept something like this?” he whispered, and I looked away. Harry began to sob, and I couldn't look at him.
“You need to leave, Harry.” I whispered, and his sob quieted down. I heard the shuffling of him rising to feet. I felt his presence nearby, and his breath on my shoulder.
“It's my apartment too, remember?” He whispered, and I resisted a snort. How could I not remember? He practically punched Niall over it.
“Fine, then I’ll leave.” I whispered, and began to leave when harry grabbed my arm lightly. I felt a spark once he touched my skin, and I gasped lightly. I turned to look at him, and he had a soft look in his eye.
“No, stay. I-I'll leave, just remember that...i'm going to try. Even if you won't, I'll continue to fight.” he whispered before letting go of my skin. He looked at me for a brief moment before heading to the door. I watched as he opened the apartment door, and hesitated. He sighed, and began to leave when he stopped. He looked over his shoulder with hurt eyes, and a soft smile.
“I'm going to fight for your heart, and I will get it back. This time, for good.” He promised before leaving with the slam of the door. As soon as the door closed I made my way to the bedroom with shaky legs. My eyes were watery, and my body was shaking with sobs. I flipped on the light to my room, and my heart broke even more as I saw the rose petal covered bed. My bottom lip wobbled, and brought my hand up to my face. I let out a loud sob, and slowly sunk to the floor. I tried holding it in, but I couldn't.
I just broke.