I came out of the changing rooms in the Host Club a week or so later and frowned, "Is it supposed to look like this?" They were having another theme, and I couldn't quite figure out what it was. I knew I was a princess, and I was pretty sure it was Arabian, but I couldn't certainly say.
I wore brown sandals and what seemed like a red and yellow robe. My headdress was a white turban adorned with jewels. I was wearing a gold necklace with a gold upper armband, and I was slipping on a few rings.
Hikaru laughed, "Well, your turban is on backwards." I rolled my eyes and took it off, putting it on right that time. "Now, it looks right."
Tamaki walked out from behind the curtain next to mine in an outfit that strongly resembled mine. I frowned, "Did you make us matching, Tamaki?"
"Of course! As the king, my sister must be of royalty as well," he confirmed. He hugged me tightly and gushed, "Don't we look adorable? You look so good in your costume, Katashi! We should match more often!"
The twins irritated me, "Great idea, Boss!"
I glared, "We'll discuss it later." I got out of his grip, and we walked out to where the others were waiting in front of the grand rug hanging on the wall parallel from the entrance doors. The entire Host Club room had been decorated to resemble an Arabian palace, and I was actually very fond of the way it looked.
"Alright, men and woman! Let's get into position! The doors should be opening in a minute," Tamaki told us. I stood behind where Tamaki sat between Mori and Kyoya and got into the pose they had told me to be in.
The doors opened a little early, but the red rose petals still swirled out of the room, and we said, "Welcome to the Ouran Host Club." Standing there was a child who had fallen on the floor in shock of seeing us.
"Oh, it's just a kid," Hikaru said.
"Not only that, it's just a boy," Kaoru added.
I suggested, "Maybe he's lost."
"What's wrong, little boy? Did you come to my palace in search of something?" Tamaki asked, offering his hand. You had to admire how he never broke character.
The kid hesitated as he stood up, "A-Are you the king of this place?" Tamaki gasped at this happily. "Well, are you?"
"Come closer, lost one," my brother beckoned. The boy walked until he was standing in front of us. "What was it you just called me, little boy?"
He repeated, "The king."
Tamaki stood up and put a hand to his heart, "Oh, the king!" He twirled around in a dreamy manner. "Yes, I am the King of the Ouran Host Club! Long live the king!" I thought sarcastically, Grande. Like we needed to feed his ego even more. There's a reason we never say that.
The boy told us, "I'm an elementary fifth-year, Shiro Takaoji!" He pointed at Tamaki. "I want the Host Club King to take me on as an apprentice!" Tamaki began blushing, but the rest of us were doubtful.
I smiled nervously, "Excusez-moi, Shiro, but are you sure about that? I mean, going into training as a host at your age surely is inappropriate. Maybe you'd want to wait until you're older?" Or not be a host at all?
"Katashi, how could you say that? Love has nothing to do with age! If he desires to be a host as great as me, then how could I ever turn him away? Shiro, I will take you on as an apprentice and teach you the art of being a host! You'll start your training with me tomorrow," Tamaki declared. Being called the king really got to his head. This is going to blow up in his face.
The next day, we were all back in our regular uniforms as the Host Club. There wasn't too much business that day, so I had finished with my customers rather quickly, and the twins were waiting for their next appointment. Hikaru and Kaoru came up to me with a paper in Hikaru's hand as I was cleaning up my table. "Guess what I got on my French test, Frenchie?" he asked me excitedly.
I shrugged, "I bet it isn't bad." He handed it to me. It had a 70% B on it. I frowned and sighed. "I'm sorry, Hikaru. I wish I could have done more to help."
"Are you kidding? This is great! It's the best I've done all year! Thank you so much, Katashi," he thanked me.
Kaoru agreed, "Especially since I can't help him much."
I smiled, "We'll keep studying together, and maybe you'll get an S on a test by the end of your class."
They doubted, "We'd be good with a B."
I was about to say something when we were caught off guard by the sound of crying. "Tamaki, you're an idiot!" a girl sobbed as she ran out of the room.
"No, wait! Mermaid princess!" Tamaki called after her. From the way he was glaring at Shiro, I knew he had something to do with it. I figured it would all blow up in his face.
The twins snickered, and Hikaru asked, "So, how's it going, Boss? That's an adorable little apprentice you got there."
"Hikaru...." Kaoru said. "Do you wish you had a little brother like Shiro?"
Hikaru pulled Kaoru to him, "Don't be silly. I could search the globe, and I'd never find a better brother than you, Kaoru."
"Hikaru."
The girls started squealing, but Shiro backed away from them. He accused, "They're homos! And they're brothers! That makes them totally insectuous!"
Tamaki corrected, "I think what you meant to say was 'incestuous.'"
I scolded, "And you're being impoli, Shiro. You shouldn't act like that just because they might like other guys."
"Of course, you'd defend them! You're a homo, too! Plus, you can't even speak Japanese right!" he argued. I hate you, you brat, I thought.
Just to spite him, I decided to take a page out of Tamaki's book. I grabbed the closest girl and pulled her to me, caressing her cheek as I wrapped my arm around her waist. "Ah, you must excusez-moi, mon cher. Your beauty has completely captivated me. You must be some sort of goddess, putting me in a trance with your sparkling eyes and soft lips. Ne me libére pas de votre captivité." The girl blushed deeply as I slowly let her go. I glanced over at the shocked boy and winked. The twins were quick to praise my performance.
Honey suddenly jumped on Shiro's back, "Hey, Shiro-chan! You wanna have a piece of cake with me? We've got three kinds: chocolate, strawberry, and lime."
Shiro pushed him off, "Hey, back off! What grade are you in, anyway? Why are you wearing a high school uniform?" Little did he know that Honey was the oldest out of all of us.
Mori walked over to them and asked, "Something wrong, Mitsukuni?"
Honey, afraid, jumped on his back as Shiro said, "That's not fair! A little kid like you isn't supposed to have a cool, older friend like him!" He backed up and knocked into Haruhi, who managed to keep from dropping her tea tray.
"Are you alright?" Haruhi asked him.
"Huh?"
"I know, it's kind of hard getting used to all the weirdos around here. It took me a while to get adjusted to all the craziness, so don't freak out. I'm sure you'll get used to it," she encouraged him. She wasn't aware that the rest of us weren't the problem. Still, all he did was stare at her. "Something wrong?"
He was extremely blunt, "Are you a cross-dresser?"
"Oh, no!" my brother and the twins fretted.
Tamaki covered Shiro's eyes, "'Kay, that's enough. I think Shiro should take care of the tea for us, don't you?"
The twins patted Haruhi on the head as Kaoru said, "Wow, Haurhi, you're looking extra manly today."
Hikaru added, "Now, do what the boss says, and let Shiro take care of that tea set; it's part of his training. You're too macho for tea sets." The three smiled and laughed nervously. I shook my head at them, They're so évidents. Whether the three wanted to believe it or not, I had told them that Haruhi still looked too much like a girl. Also, I heard kids were the best judge of character.
Shiro removed Tamaki's hand from his face, and Haruhi offered him the tea set, "Now, be careful with it. It's pretty heavy." He had only held it for barely a second before it dropped, the tea set shattering to pieces. If I hadn't known any better, I would have thought he dropped it on purpose.
Shiro was quick to blame, "It's not my fault I dropped it. It's your fault because you're the one who made me take it in the first place."
She glared, suddenly understanding our issue, "Say what?"
I frowned, "It doesn't work like that, gosse."
Kyoya spoke up, "Haruhi, that's another 100,000 yen." She gasped.
"Hey, you should make the cross-dresser do all your stupid chores! I'm not here to carry tea sets! I'm here to learn how to make women happy!" the kid exclaimed.
Tamaki's resolve was beginning to break, "You won't get anywhere with that attitude, and I am not going to let you disrespect Haruhi! So..." he pointed at Shiro, "put this brat in isolation!"
The twins saluted him, "You got it, Boss!" I yelped in surprise when an iron cage came crashing down on Shiro.
"What's going on here? Why'd you put me in a cage all of a sudden?" he demanded.
"Yeah, where did it come from? This is supposed to be a music room, right?" Haruhi's voice quivered.
I stared at it, "Yeah, I've never seen it before...."
Shiro yelled as he struggled to break the bars, "This is no way to treat your loyal apprentice! Now, let me out of this cage!"
Tamaki sat down and began sipping his tea, "Not until you've learned your lesson."
I snapped myself out of my confused state and became the voice of reason, "Tamaki, I déteste this kid just as much as you, but I'm pretty sure this is child abuse. We can deal with him a different way. We could just kick him out!"
The twins agreed, "At least, he'll be out of hair."
"No! Wait!"
Tamaki told him, "I made you my apprentice because I thought you were serious about becoming a host, but I guess I was wrong."
"I am serious! Totally serious! I want you to teach me how to make a woman happy." When he saw Tamaki wasn't listening, he fell to his knees. "I'm gonna run out of time.... Please, won't you teach me?" This seemed to catch both Haruhi's and I's attention. Why was he going to run out of time? "You're a host because you like girls. You like bringing a smile to a girl's face. That's why you do it, right? Please, won't you teach me to be like you? You're a genius at it! You're the king!"
Being called a genius seemed to have caught my brother's attention once more. I swore, being given compliments was going to be his downfall. Either way, he stood up and crossed his arms, "Well, you may be a brat, but I admire your desire to become a host, so I'll teach you. You know, Shiro, you and I are so much alike."
Haruhi pitied him, "You poor kid."
"Tell me about it," I rolled my eyes.
"Then, you'll help me become the kind of host that can make any woman happy?" Shiro smiled.
"Of course. Making women happy is the sole purpose of being a host," Tamaki explained. I twisted my lips to the side. Even though I had been working as a hostess for a few months and could vouch that we were supposed to make others happy, I doubted they were all doing it because of only that. Most people do things just because they can, right? "If this is what you really want, Shiro, then you'll have to figure out how to use the material you already have."
"What does that mean?"
Kyoya stepped in, "You see, her at the Ouran Host Club, our policy is to use our individual personality traits to meet the needs of our guests. For example, there's Tamaki, who is the princely type. There's the strong, silent type, the boy-Lolita type, the little-devil type, and the cool type." Everyone walked up to Kyoya and struck a quick pose for Shiro. "It's all about variety. And now our group is complete with the addition of Haruhi, the natural, and Katashi, the feminine."
"The natural?" Haruhi asked.
I wondered, "I'm sorry, are we all supposed to have signature poses?"
Our director ignored us, "It would seem that right now we have a perfect blend of characteristics, so it's going to be difficult to find a new type for Shiro." The boy seemed completely intimidated by all this information.
Hikaru pointed out, "If you go by his age, he should be the boy-Lolita type."
Kaoru continued, "But Honey's already got that covered."
Honey began to cry, "Is he gonna replace me?"
"Of course not. Can't we just stay true to him and make him the bratty type or something?" I sighed, still not fond of the whole idea.
"Oh, come on! Is that all you got?" we heard Renge's voice. There was a jolt and the sound of a motor. As I found my footing, Renge rose on a spinning platform in the middle of the room. In all the times I had been in there, how did I keep missing these huge things? "Sorry to interrupt, gentlemen and woman, but what's with the lackluster character analysis? I must say, I'm quite disappointed. I thought I taught you better. Although, I'm proud to hear Katashi was the closest one in this case."
I smiled bitterly, "Well, I did get an earful almost every day."
Tamaki asked, "Alright, then, Miss Manager, how would you work Shiro into our collection of characters? He can't be the boy-Lolita because Honey's already got that covered."
"You just don't get it, do you? Now, listen up! There are plenty of girls out there who have a thing for younger boys or boys with baby faces. These girls would be considered Shota fans. Now, Shota can be a fairly broad category, so it's important to know that the genre can be broken down into many different smaller sub-categories. For example, Shota fans with an interest in Lolita boys would favor a boy like Haninozuka, but this little boy is different. If I had to pick a character for him.... Yes! He'd be the naughty boy type without a doubt!" Renge lectured us. Huh, I thought. She was right. I was proche.
Shiro repeated, "The naughty type?" The cage lifted, and Renge pulled out a whistle and blew it.
"Now, to play up the naughty type, you have to wear shorts." That was already part of his school uniform, so she checked it off her list. She blew the whistle again. "You gotta have bumps and bruises! Give him a couple of scars!" The twins quickly started placing Band-Aids on him and drawing face scars with a marker. I was getting a bad feeling as the whistle blew again. We all hid behind one of the columns. "Run like a spoiled child! Make it reckless!" I wasn't sure if I'd call his running reckless. It looked more clumsy than anything. Another whistle pierced the air. "Now, I want you to trip, and make it big!" Shiro fell over a rope.
Renge kneeled next to him and asked, "Are you okay, little boy?" I jumped at the next unexpected whistle. She was about to give me a heart attack! "Now, give 'em your catchphrase!"
Shiro picked himself up, "No big deal. It was nothing."
"Oh, that was perfect! Absolutely perfect, Shiro!" Renge squealed.
Tamaki clapped, "That was outstanding! I never knew you were a great coach, Renge." I watched as Shiro began to tremble. Maybe he had hurt himself? That was a pretty nasty fall.
I said softly, "Hey, Shiro? You okay?"
"I've had enough of you people!" the child exploded. "This is so stupid. None of this is ever gonna help me make her happy."
Tamaki called after him as he ran out, "Wait, Shiro! We haven't taught you how to apply the techniques you've learned."
Renge returned to her platform and criticized as it retracted, "I swear, younger boys are good for nothing. I went to all that trouble to coach him, and he quits."
Tamaki frowned, "I can't believe he ditched us because he didn't like the lesson! What a selfish little brat."
I stopped him, "Hold on, Tamaki. I don't think this is his fault this time."
"There aren't many people who would enjoy that kind of lesson, but never mind that. Were you listening to what he said? He said he was gonna run out of time. What do you think he means by that? I think that, maybe, it's a girl," Haruhi said.
I nodded, "Haruhi a raison. That would make a lot of sense. Why else would a little boy go through all this trouble? Especially one like that." I suddenly saw Tamaki's expression soften.
Why did he care so much about that boy? He was a brat! Tamaki had even said it himself. It was obvious none of us like him, so why continue to bother? There was no point, even if it was purely because he reminded Tamaki of himself. I just didn't understand.
Tamaki decided, "We have to find out for sure. I think I might have a plan."