Three Days Later...
It's stupid to think that after something like this everything would be normal again. Three days filled with mourning and denial. How was it only some days after what happened when it felt like so long? Countless of sleepless nights in burdened sheets, recurring nightmares if I ever did manage to sleep, and the continuous playbacks of his face moments before he was on the ground unconscious — dead. The pain his features reflected tortured me, knowing that I was the only who pierced him with the Opal blade. The guilt hasn't faded yet and I don't know when it will.
The guilt is nothing compared to the loneliness and pain I feel now.
Ren's death has no impact on me. My father and I were distant at times especially when he would be drowning in the thoughts of my mother which I've now discovered aren't true. I haven't showered in three days, haven't left my home in three days, haven't made any contact for a few days.
John dismissed us from work, if we wished to go back then we could otherwise we spent our time alone. Zayn and Quinn left for Greece. Niall, Louis, and Liam are recovering and securing the pack. And Harry... Harry's gone.
The realisation still hasn't sunk in, and after all my tears shed they seem to be unlimited, never ending. I reached forward to blow at the steam from my hot mug of tea, inhaling in the sweet scent and shutting my eyes. Nobody has dared to make contact with me, and for that I'm glad. But one of my biggest fears is being left alone, not having anyone to love or to care for. Nobody to scold at for the spilt milk left on the counter, or the scent of coffee lingering around. Without those small but simple factors there's nothing to really call home.
I took a sip from my mug and reached into the pocket of my pants, revealing the Opal necklace. The slate colour of the stone made it look so dead. As soon as the connection was lost it no longer felt heavy, it no longer has the same feeling within. Yet there's some part of me which just hopes... wishes that even though the connection is dead that he isn't. But there isn't anything more ridiculous than that thought.
I pulled the chain around my neck until it was in place and let go. The stone lay cold against my warm skin. The feeling was so odd, knowing that Harry told me to never wear it or it would bring bad luck. But what's worse than watching as you killed the one person you loved without having control of yourself. There's nothing more fucked up than watching the life in someone's eyes diminish in only seconds, than hearing their final breaths alongside their final words.
He said everything was going be okay. He said it, but he lied. Nothing's okay, and I don't know how long that will be for. Everyone's left and I have nobody. The realisation struck me now, through all this I'm alone. I pushed away the mug and rest my head against my arms as I quietly sob to myself, knowing there won't be anybody to reassure me.
-
"His body has been taken care of," Alivia murmured as we stood in the large forest alone. After a mysterious phone call from her asking me to meet her about a block away from my flat I was eager to find out just what she wanted. "It's not your fault. You know that, yes?" I could only nod but I knew how much of a lie that was. I couldn't help but think it was my fault. I felt as if my mother's death was my fault, Harry's death, Ren's death... it felt like I was the catalyst for all my issues.
"Where is he?" I asked her as she motioned me to follow her. I tightened the scarf around my neck the further we trudged into the forest. The trees became a lot higher, the light from the sky was beginning to dim. My dark boots were glistening from the wet leaves and branches on the forest's ground but I payed no mind to it and continued walking.
Alivia tightened her large coat and sighed. "There is a special memorial ground," she says, her accent was a lot thicker now than it previously was. "Only the bravest of werewolves are buried there. Harry, he... he was an obeyer. Much like his father was. He followed his heart, his thoughts, he obeyed the mark and for that his symbol remains on him. He fulfilled his fate, just like his father."
She suddenly stopped and turned to a whole bed of flowers and moss which were overgrown and seemed out of place. I watched her remove her large black hat and sighed, placing it to her chest. She outstretched her arm and muttered few words in a language I did not know and shut her eyes. There was movement and the sound of rustling caught my attention. The flowers and vines were unweaving themselves. I stared in astonishment, moving backwards as I watched something I once thought impossible.
I've come across inhuman beings, watched people die, a stone change colour according to one's emotions, yet flowers moving themselves still seems to surprise me.
"What...?"
"My father wasn't exact a, uh, wolf."
"You're a witch?" I asked her.
She only smiled in response and nodded. "A hybrid. There's a lot of us around, we just blend in." Her attention returned to the unnatural flowers that revealed a set of cobblestone stairs. "Follow me," she said and began to walk down, leaving me to blindly follow her into the darkness. I looked behind me once I heard the familiar rustling to see the vines and flowers covering where we had entered so we were surrounded in pitch black.
"Alivia?" I called out, stretching my arms out until I felt something solid against my fingertips. There was suddenly a large flame lit, just enough to see all around us. She held a flame torch in each hand.
"This way." I was given one of the torches which radiated heat, instantly making me a lot less uncomfortable. There was nothing but concrete walls and paths. It was almost like a tunnel, the ceiling wasn't high at all, the walls weren't too wide but further enough from each other so it wasn't as claustrophobic. The air was thick, and there was an unrecognisable repugnant smell that lingered the further we walked.
"What the hell is this place?" I asked, lifting my scarf to cover my nose and mouth.
"The catacombs," she responded, seeming not to be bothered by the smell. The clicks of her heeled boots echoed amongst the walls as we continued.
Wait...
"Catacombs?! We're in a cemetery?" My eyes bulged from their sockets but she didn't seem to be bothered by my reaction. My footing faltered as I came to a stop. I was in shock, the smell that clogged our senses was the stench of decomposing bodies, and I could only imagine what lay ahead. "I think I'm going to be sick."
"Follow me, Cassandra. I will explain as we move." Unwillingly and out of fear I began to move until I was walking besides her. Her nose crinkled as the smell became a lot worse, and the scarf hardly did anything to block it. "There's a story that lies with this place, one too old to remember. But it is said that if one wonders too long they will turn to insanity. Only a number of us are allowed in here, there is only one entry and one exit. These walls are filled with lies, and curses. Evil spirits. After days and weeks of no food or water they become vulnerable, weak enough for those spirits to be able to possess them. The catacombs are no place for weak people, no place to fool around in. You come in for one sole purpose only, and then leave or you will die. But of course, it is only a legend."
I swallowed harshly, moving even closer to her and away from the walls. Fear coursed my veins as we came across a single door surrounded in skulls that led to our only location. I stepped behind Alivia, watching as she lifted a brow and twisted the handle. There was a soft click as the door quietly swung open, revealing a lit room filled with numerous doors. She grabbed a hold of my wrist and pulled me behind her. The sound of the door slamming shut startled me, and unconsciously I turned around to stare at the lone door.
Every single door was identical to one another, but each different with metal plated roman numerals above them. There can only be so much that is behind each door, and I may have some clue as to what does.
"Follow me." She began walking to the other side of the large room, only leaving the option to walk behind her. She was muttering beneath her breath; counting.
"Wh-What are you looking for?"
"A number."
I shut my eyes at the obvious but didn't comment on it. She still held her torch, and as did I but the flame was slowly beginning to descend. I didn't want to be here, for whatever reason. I wanted to be home, to fret away and hide in my sheets. I wanted nothing to exist anymore.
"Dave's coffin is behind this door," she called, not hesitating to twist the doorknob and walk through. I however was extremely reluctant. Although deceased, that man caused mayhem and chaos. That man was the source for every problem, that man in there was the reason why Ren wanted Harry dead. "Are you coming?" I heard Alivia from inside.
"I... I don't want to." Uncontrollably my voice cracked a little as I tried to stifle the gasps that wanted to escape my mouth. My entire head felt heavy, as though I would pass out at any given time. I dropped the torch from my hand, covering my eyes and quietly tried to calm myself. "Alivia, I need t-to get out of here."
I jumped once I felt soft fingers pull at mine. Her face was very tight, lacked emotion, but her eyes were sympathetic and I knew just how much she pitied me like the rest did. I couldn't think of anything I despised more.
"Dave is not alive anymore," she whispered.
"Neither is Harry," I rebutted, much softer than her. She seemed startled by my words and took a slight step back but never released her grip on my wrist. "I don't understand w-why I'm here."
"There is so much you don't know. So much unexplained. You should know."
I only nodded and allowed her to pull me into the room which had a coffin situated in the middle. The top was opened, revealing Dave's lifeless and pale body. The smell wasn't as horrible as before, but maybe that was just because I was so used to it.
"You see his arm, where his mark is? It's still there." Alivia brushed her long nail over the tattoo and hummed to herself. "Dave the Obeyer. He was never the villain, Cassandra."
I stared at her in bewilderment. "Not the villain, are you serious?! He... he murdered so many people, he is the reason why the Elders wanted to kill Harry, he was the reason why Harry almost killed me. How is he not the villain?"
I was drowning in so many emotions: anger, misery, regret, confusion. It's all such mess.
"You see, Dave was a very confusing man. Weak even. Believe me when I say that once upon a time he was so in love with his wife. They both had to make many... sacrifices. Dave was never able to control his mind, which made it a lot easier for his symbol to do so. The mark was pure evil, and one that is destined with such evil cannot help but to succumb to its desires. Many, if not all of his actions weren't caused by him... in some way. It ate away at his conscience the more he gave in, until there was nothing left to give. Dave was a victim to himself, and the connection he has with Harry's mark caused his death."
I shook my head. "Harry didn't kill him."
"No, he didn't. However, Dave could do nothing but obey to the mark's desires. That is why once Harry became the Alpha, Dave was no longer superior to him. It all works within time."
"So... you're saying that Dave wasn't the bad one? I refuse to believe that."
"That is not what I am saying. My point is, just understand that Dave's intentions weren't... well, intentional. He had dreams, just like us all."
"How do you know all of this?"
She shrugged. "Hybrids are quite sly." She spared one last glance at his body before motioning me out. Nothing was said as we made our way back from where we entered, and the only thing that clouded my mind was whether Dave was ever a good man.
-
We were in the forest again, stomping over fallen branches and dirt as we made our way back to her car. No attempt of small talk was made, making things a lot less awkward than if the conversation was forced. The forest was quiet, deserted apart from the wild animals that inhibited these trees. The light from the sky was beginning to darken, evidence that it was becoming a lot later.
"You know, if Harry hadn't died he still would have only a few years left," Alivia randomly muttered. I shot her a glance of confusion but didn't comment on it. I heard her sigh heavily before continuing, "Our kind doesn't live for long, and I am positive he knew that. But there are only few exceptions."
"Which are?"
"You find your mate," she hesitantly said. "Or... an Elder lifts the curse."
I kicked away at a slightly large branch that seemed to be caught in my footing. "Well you had already found your mate, and you had a kid."
"No. You see, my husband was human. A hybrid cannot mate with a human, unless the curse is lifted by an Elder."
I scoffed. "That sounds impossible."
"Your uncle is quite sympathetic."
I stared at her in confusion until the realisation struck me. Ren and Elijah were brothers.
"Elijah had helped my husband and I, but of course we had to sacrifice something as payment."
I stared at her for a moment, finally reaching her car which she unlocked. I waited until we were both seated before I asked, "What was it?"
All she did was momentarily stare at me with a sad smile. "My first born child. He was the most...beautiful, precious little baby. Nine months I carried him, I cared for him, held him for only moments before he was taken away from me. Of course the curse was gone, but weeks later we were asked to see the Elders. Your father killed my baby boy and husband right before my eyes. I will never forgive myself for the pain I caused for both of my loves. But I have learnt not to mourn those you can't bring back."
"Sometimes you can't help it," I mutter, pinching at the denim of my dark jeans. And I couldn't help but think of the nights where I spent crying against any hard or soft surface. How everyone of us had met at Niall's place just to figure out our next plan. There were moments where glass and fragile objects were thrown across the room from pure anger. But even more worse than that, countless of tears were shed in memory of Harry. Regretfully I felt my tears beginning to brim my eyes as I choked softly, "I just wish I could've done something. I... I feel so useless."
Alivia didn't attempt to comfort me, but even if she had I would've pushed her away. Like all my days spent I wanted to be alone. These few days have been agonisingly torture for me and I couldn't help but come to the conclusion that this would be how I am from now on. That I must accept that this is the resolution of the both of us.
His end was always inevitable, it was just 'delayed'. I remember him repeating those similar words to me, and yet I still wouldn't accept them even though I knew they were true. He was gone and never coming back and there was nothing I could do but live in sorrow for however long this torture of mourning would go for.
[still not over :) ]