-"You know she will find out anyway..."
-"You don't know that."
-"Con. It's obvious. I mean..."
-"I know, I know, it's a hopeless cause. Still, if there was a chance to go through it without addressing it, it'd be best."
-"I know you feel that way, Con, but she's our foster mother now, and she probably knows already, and is already planning on what to do on that day..."
-"Well if that is the case, I will tell her that there is no need to do anything."
-"She won't agree to that."
-"Al, please... I don't want..."
Connor raised his head and took a look around the bus, making sure nobody he knew was around to listen, especially not Mikey. Luckily enough, his foster brother was sitting far up ahead with Luke, not paying the slightest bit of attention to Connor and Alexis in the back, and besides them there wasn't anyone else who could be any potential trouble. He leaned his head back down and went back to his whispering conversation with Alexis.
-"... I don't want Grace to do anything else for me, Al. It's too much I owe her already. Too much we owe her."
-"I know, Con, I know...! But...! It's your eighteenth birthday. That is a big deal! You know, there are several countries worldwide that allow people to drink legally starting at eighteen? It's like, their twenty-one!"
Connor shook his head in a frown. He'd had this discussion with Alexis for the entirety of last week. The upcoming Saturday was September twelfth, and that meant that he was turning eighteen years old. For most kids, he'd see why that would be a big deal. But not for him.
Connor didn't celebrate his birthdays. Ever since becoming a foster kid, such things had become luxuries that he could no longer afford. It's amazing how losing your family can change your perspective on that sort of things. The day in which you used to celebrate your life for yet another year, the happiness and joy of being surrounded by those you love, be it blood or water. It all becomes nothing but a brisk reminder of something you lost, something too strong not to long for. Connor hated that feeling. He hated it more than anything in the world.
When he was little, his parents always made him small parties for him and his friends from pre-school and elementary school back in Minnesota. They'd hire a clown, and make a barbecue, and several times they'd take them all to the ranch down Minneapolis Road. Every year Connor would choose a lamb on the ranch, and raise it with the help of his siblings. They would visit the ranch three or four times a week. The sheep sometimes were sent away to another farm, and sometimes they stayed around. Connor loved going to that ranch. He loved being with his family on his birthday, and having warm hot cakes in the mornings and then going to the park with changing color leaves on the afternoons. He had loved all of that.
Now it only killed to remember it.
Alexis was different than Connor in that sense. She had never had someone to celebrate her birthdays with. She had never lost anyone. All her life, she had been alone. That part of her story was always the saddest to tell. Until she met Connor, and the two of them stuck together since. Before that, birthdays were just another date in the calendar to Alexis. But ever since she had someone to share it with, and someone to be happy to do so, she had learned to embrace it.
And like that, the two of them had become the only people in each other's lives that mattered when it came to birthdays, and Christmas and every other holiday. Connor would save up for months so that when June came around, he'd be able to afford a cake for Alexis. Not a tiny one, vanilla flavor with pink strawberry frosting. It was her favorite. And every year before September, Alexis did her best to take out Connor to a new Café Shop she would spend weeks looking for in the town they were staying at the time. They never stayed in the same place for two years straight, so there was always somewhere new. The intimate space and the warm lattes during fall were one of the few things Connor still enjoyed out of September. Other than that, he never asked for anything else on his birthday. And neither did her.
But this year it was different, because Alexis was certain Grace would insist to give Connor a gift of sorts on Saturday. Connor thought she was right about that, too. Grace wasn't like previous foster parents. Although clumsy and awkward, she had the biggest heart he'd seen, and was interested and involved in their lives so much. She really did care for them, and Connor couldn't help but feel bad that she would go to even further extents to do him any more favors.
-"... Listen I think that if she wants to give you something, you have to accept it."—Alexis said, then grabbing Connor's right hand in between hers—"We will still go out and I'll still take you to a nice coffee house, like always."
Connor smiled at the contact, and then grinned at Alexis, her eyes pouting as if she were a puppy. It looked kind of funny with her red beanie on, because she did somehow managed to look like a toddler.
-"Thanks, Al."—Connor said—"I wouldn't miss it for the world."
Alexis clapped her hands, turning towards her phone and tapping the screen rapidly.
-"There's so many places here in Yule! It's amazing! And they're so close to Grace's, too—! Oh... I got a text..."
Connor looked from the corner of his eye, and saw that the text Alexis had received was from Trevor Moran. If he recalled correctly, he was a guy in her and Mikey's year she did drama with. Alexis blushed as she read the text, and then replied with a little grin on her face. Connor raised his eyebrows intently, as she sent it, put down her phone and then looked back at him, confused instantly.
-"... W-Why are you...?"
-"Al."—Connor stated—"Do you... like, this Trevor kid...?"
Alexis' pale cheeks were suddenly the same shade as a ripe tomato. She started talking, but, as every time when she is nervous, all came out was a blabbering stutter. Connor calmed her down by pressing a finger against her lips and smirking slightly.
-"Hey, hey, don't be embarrassed about it!"—he said—"Having crushes is completely normal at your age."
-"I do not have a...! A...!"—Alexis lowered her voice so low it seemed ridiculous Connor could hear her himself—"... crush!"
-"Doesn't seem that way to me."
-"W-Well how w-would you know!? You've never had any crushes! NEVER!"
Connor nodded.
-"That may be true."—he stated—"But still I'm the older one, so I know more about this stuff than you do. And, that also means I have to meet this Trevor kid..."
-"WHAT!?"
Alexis jumped off her seat with her eyes as wide as plates. Connor remained on his, looking towards her with a smirk.
-"YOU ARE SO NOT!"—she exclaimed.
-"Relax, Al! I was totally joking."—Connor brushed off.
-"Are you SURE!?"
-"Positive."
Connor's smirk told otherwise, but before Alexis could protest any further, they had already arrived at the school, so she didn't have the time to make Connor promise to their pinky fingers—or to notice that Connor was planning to meet Trevor anyways.
Still, just as there was something Alexis hadn't noticed, there was something Connor had failed to notice himself. And it was that when Alexis accused him of never having a crush, Connor had taken a second too long to confirm that.
He didn't even fully notice himself.
Connor had hesitated.
---
Connor had convinced himself that he wouldn't have any issue of any sort going back to school, convinced that all the events that had gone down in that hectic weekend were already in the past to him.
Of course that wasn't the case.
From the totality of his classes, Connor only had three of them with Troye; English, Science and Gym. And two out of three, he had on Tuesday.
The second he set foot in Ms. Ballinger's class and saw that Troye was sitting on his usual spot by the windows on the left of the class, he headed towards the back of the class and sat himself on the far right, making sure to avoid all forms of visual contact possible. Lilly, who had already taken a seat closer to Troye before Connor had arrived (the three of them had started sitting together a couple of weeks ago) seemed concerned about this, but she restrained herself from talking to Connor from across the room, not wanting to upset Ms. Ballinger.
Immediately after that he had Math, and unlike his usual routine of walking to the class with Lilly talking about nonsense (she did most of the talking anyway), Connor managed to slink himself through the people on the hallways and take a different, longer route to Ms. Akana's classroom. He hadn't been that long of a time in Yule High, and he already knew the passageways inside the school to the point of perfection. Paying attention to such detail was the sort of thing Connor did know he did right. He never missed a spot, always remembered where was where, and always knew in what place he had left something. If he had a car, he'd never forget the parking space, and he knew that would come in handy. Maybe someday, if he ever learned how to drive.
In the end, Connor arrived ten minutes late to Ms. Akana's class. Ms. Akana had this thing for punctuality, some people said it was because her dad was in the army or something. Connor had heard rumors about how she used to scold heavily to students who arrived late to her class. He didn't feel like having to be scolded, yet alone having to listen to her lecture of the day. He figured if he didn't actually show up, nobody would really care anyhow. Instead of growing bitter about it, Connor sighed heavily with his trademark frown, and headed down the hall, finally aimless about what to do.
Eventually Connor decided it would be best to spend some time on his own. He walked towards the stairs that lead to the roof of the school, and sat alone in one of the benches of the unused basketball court on it. It was pretty funny because there was no way that would've ever worked out. He wondered how they would manage to keep it from breaking down at the slightest notice of a little snow.
Not having anything else to do, he took out his thoughts journal, and opened on the last page he had written. The one he wrote after spending the night with Alexa.
Today Red taught me how to play with fire. I don't know why, but I didn't like it one bit. I had never particularly liked it with anyone else before either, but this time it was different. And I think I know why. It's because I wasn't seeing Red. The entire time I was with Red, all I could think about was...
That was were Connor had stopped writing.
He had decided to address Alexa as "Red" in his journal, not wanting to risk the possibility of anyone ever getting to read it and finding out about what had happened.
But it was strange.
He had written about what happened with her that night, but he hadn't written about...
... The other thing.
Connor closed his notebook shut, not wanting to be tempted into writing about the night at the camp. The sole thought of it made his breath run short, and the air around him feel warmer. Connor hated that feeling.
What even was it supposed to be?
The memory of Troye's text message from last night sent shivers down Connor's spine. He didn't want to talk about what happened, whatever that had been. Why was there a need to discuss it? It was much, much easier just to forget about it and never address it again.
Then again, why did it bother Connor so much? Why was he letting this get to him?
Seeing little point to his time wasting, Connor took out a pencil and opened back the notebook on the same page he had left it in. Before he could change his mind, he wrote down the last part of the sentence he had left in the air.
... all I could think about was how somewhere, Blue was still waiting to talk to me.
---
Later that same day, during lunch, Connor saw that all the gang was sharing the same table in the dining hall. There was only one seat available on it, and it was next to Troye. So, naturally, Connor took his lunch tray outside with him, to the terrace where there were some wooden tables for people who didn't fancy to eat inside the hall. It was rather silly since it appeared to be raining almost all the time in Yule, but that day there was only a soft winter that announced fall.
He had hoped that nobody had seen him walk out, knowing that the second either Lilly or Troye noticed him, they would go after him. He sat alone in one of the tables, and started enjoying his lunch to the best of his capacity, which was pretty difficult since it was fried fish day, and his seemed to still be a bit alive.
He would've been completely focused on his eating, but something caught his eye. Something red.
Connor saw from afar that Alexa was sitting on a bench with a couple of her female friends. She seemed to be having a good time, laughing out loud and probably talking about the latest gossip. At a certain point she turned around and saw him. With a smile still on her face, she winked at him and waved. Connor waved back. And just like that, she went back to the conversation she was having with her friends.
She seemed so content. So ok.
Nobody suspected even for a second that there was more to her than just the fire of her hair.
-"... Found you."
Connor had become so distracted by Red's sighting, that he hadn't realized he had been spotted, and now there was no way he could avoid Troye, now standing to his right with a very serious expression.
Connor looked back at him without stopping his chewing, completely unfazed by the sudden appearance of Blue. He had been dreading this moment, but he wasn't about to let that show.
-"Mind if I sit?"—Troye asked.
-"It's a free country."
Troye let out a sigh and sat down left to Connor's side of the table, with both his hands resting on top of it. He had a lot in his mind. A lot. And the worst thing that could happen to him in times like that is that he didn't know where to begin with, just like now. So as a result of that, added with Connor's unwillingness to talk about anything at all, neither of the two spoke a word for a good ten minutes. At that rate, lunch would be over, and this awkwardness would be bound to repeat itself day after day. The second Connor realized that, and how much he would hate it, he decided to be the first to talk.
-"Listen."—Connor said—"I did get your text."
-"You... did?"—Troye asked, not meeting Connor's eyes.
-"Yeah, you said we had to talk."—Connor stated—"So do. Come on, speak up. Get it over with already."
-"... Well..."—Troye said, then taking a look around before leaning in a bit closer and adding in a whisper—"Since, you know... there is nobody here..."
The minute Troye said that, Connor felt his body fill with nerves. His eyes immediately darted towards Troye's, his frown still plastered on his face. He didn't address it, but the fresh memory brought back by those words made his pants stir.
-"Sorry."—Troye said—"Just wanted to make sure... you know, it wasn't a dream."
-"Well it wasn't."—Connor said—"And you know what? Maybe it's best if we just... forget it."
Connor went back to finishing what was left of his disgusting fish, hoping that at best that would end the discussion. But Troye didn't think the same way.
-"Listen."—Troye said—"We don't have to ever mention it again. I mean. If it's fine with you."
-"Of course it's fine with me."—Connor said—"Why wouldn't it?"
-"I mean, I don't want it... to be, you know. Weird."
-"Well it isn't."—Connor kept being extremely interested in his side salad, consisting on one leaf of lettuce and a single slice of a half-eaten tomato—"It was just... two dudes being dudes."
-"Yeah. Yeah of course."—Troye said, nodding with his head in agreement—"Just two guys, who just so happened to not be bothered about it..."
-"Right, that right there."—Connor was struggling against the tightening down his waist—"It was something of the circumstances."
-"We had been talking about it... with Joe and Caspar... and then with each other, alone, and... and we were curious and we didn't have any time alone whatsoever..."
-"I'd go easy on the curious part."—Connor stated, definitely hating the effect this was having on him—"But I see what you mean. Besides it's not like it has to happen again or anything."
-"And, you know..."—Troye said, stammering a bit—"There is no reason why it should be weird at all. I mean we've seen plenty of the others... naked on changing rooms and such... and it's like you said, everyone does it, it's normal. Besides... we're friends!"
Connor stopped eating.
He was left with his fork on his hand, and he had finally looked back at Troye. The Australian looked nervous after he had said those last words, clearly waiting for Connor's answer. Nervous, and probably expecting bad news.
"So that's what had been bothering him?" Connor thought to his insides.
Troye's blue eyes, those that had been chasing him down for the last three days were begging for a reply. And for a second Connor didn't even know what to say. Blue was all he saw, and blue was all he knew.
-"... We... We are friends, right?"—Troye asked tentatively.
-"... Yeah."—Connor answered, finally—"Yeah, we are friends."
Troye looked down, a shy smile appearing on his face. He seemed beyond relieved. Connor on the other hand, had too many thoughts inside his head in order to feel the same way. Whatever this could mean, the effect of the blue, it seemed to go beyond his understanding.
Troye opened his mouth, seemingly to talk about something else, but he was cut short.
-"So HERE'S where you've BOTH been hiding!"
From all the times Connor had been annoyed by Joe, this had to reach the top three. The short dirty-blonde brit appeared out of the blue, scaring the shit out of Troye and earning a grunt from Connor, and then taking a seat across from him.
-"Aren't you gonna say hi to me, mate?"—Joe asked Connor, with a huge grin the latter couldn't help but wish to punch off his face.
-"Hello."—Connor greeted coldly.
Joe's smile faltered immediately. Troye noticed, and then the gears in his mind clicked, turning towards to Connor.
-"Eh... Con, today is... like... Joe's birthday."
... Shit.
-"Happy birthday, Joe."—Connor saluted—"Sorry, I didn't know."
Joe's smile was back on his face.
-"Nah, it's alright, mate! You didn't know anyways."
Joe reached out one of his long, thin arms and picked out one of the potato chips that came with Connor's lunch. Usual routine by now. Lilly and Caspar, who had both been going their way, caught up and sat on the table as well, Lilly next to Connor as she usually did, greeting everyone.
-"You've been out and about today!"—Lilly told Connor—"I was almost convinced you'd run away from school."
Connor scoffed at her comment.
-"Yeah, like I could manage to pull that off."
-"Hmph. With you, one never knows."
Caspar then spoke up, after successfully stealing the potato chips from Joe's grasp and eating them himself.
-"So? What you talkin' 'bout? Oh! Hey Troye, have you talked to Connor about Saturday?"
-"Eh... well I was about to..."
Connor raised his eyebrows in interest, curiosity... and in hopes that somehow they hadn't found out about his birthday, because if that was the case, he'd be screwed.
-"What... what is it?"—Connor asked.
-"Oh, well!"—Troye said, clapping his hands once—"Since its Joe's birthday today, we were all going to gather 'round my house on Saturday. You know, to hang out and celebrate. Maybe catch a movie or something."
-"Yeah we were hoping to have some people over at his place and play."—Caspar explained—"It can't be in my house because my mom's having a fancy dinner, so I'll be staying at Joe's that night as well."
-"Yeah and after everyone's gone, we're gonna have pizza and stuff."—Joe said, grinning wildly—"Man I've been waiting to be seventeen! I know it's silly, but I feel so grown up now!"
-"Yeah, yeah, say that all times you want, little Sugg. You're still a runt for you age."—Lilly said, taking a sip of her diet coke and earning general laughter from the crew, even from Joe.
Well, everyone was laughing, but Connor was silently plotting about how to get away from this.
-"So what do you say?"—Troye asked—"Can you make it?"
Connor damned Troye and his empathy, because now he wasn't sure how to turn them down. There was no way he could come up with a valid excuse so quickly. He had to go for the easy way out.
-"I... I don't really know."—Connor said—"Kind of have plans with Alexis..."
-"Huh? Really?"—Joe asked with his eyebrows raised—"Oh I didn't realize you two were that close."
-"Well, we are."—Connor said with patience—"So I'm not sure if I can make any promises..."
-"Ha!"—Caspar said, leaning on his back and folding his arms on the back of his head—"Connor's the only one here who doesn't give a damn about you turning seventeen Joe, because he is already seventeen. We're all just a bunch of babies to him."
-"Wait, really?"—Joe asked, clearly surprised at this new info, and then looking at Connor with half an eyebrow raised—"You're turning eighteen this year?"
-"It's not a big deal."—Connor stated—"I'm a year behind, that's all. Foster kid shit."
-"Oh, when's your birthday!?"—Lilly asked, suddenly prepped up and cheering from excitement—"Eighteen is a big number, y' know?"
Connor saw how the universe was intending to have him screwed.
-"It's really not that important..."
-"To hell it isn't!"—Joe said, standing up—"Connor, let me tell ya, the minute you turn eighteen I fly you off to England and we gonna go clubbing with my sister's boyfriend Alfie and all his university friends and we're gonna go craaaaaaazy...!"
-"Hmph."—Connor scoffed under his breath and said—"Doubt you can manage that by Saturday..."
Now, at this point in his life, Connor's sarcasm had evolved so that it had become almost semi-automatic, which is why at times he wouldn't notice it before he said it.
This, was one of those times.
Suddenly realizing what he had said, Connor raised his eyes slowly and met everyone else's, who were all with their mouths open and their eyes pretty wide like plates, and he knew he had screwed himself over.
-"... I mean..."—Connor said awkwardly—"Eh... I..."
-"You turn eighteen this Saturday!?"—Lilly exclaimed.
-"Guys, listen, it really isn't that big of a deal for me—"
-"Nope! Not having any of that!"—Lilly said, then standing up, stomping both her hands on the table and then addressing the rest of the crew—"Guys, scratch our earlier plans! This Saturday we go BIG!"
-"FUCK YEAH!"—Caspar yelled, jumping out of the sudden with a fist in the air—"I LOVE GOING BIG!"
-"Guys! Guys!"—Connor said, for the first time in a long time feeling genuinely embarrassed—"Guys listen, you don't have to do anything for me, Joe wants to celebrate his birthday, and there is no reason for that to change..."
-"Who says it'll change!?"—Joe asked with a smile on his face, extending his arms in question—"We'll both celebrate! It'll be super awesome!"
-"I don't think Troye wants to throw a party or something because of my birthday..."
-"I'm cool with that."
Connor immediately looked at Troye, locking his eyes at his, astonished at his words. But Troye seemed unfazed. In fact, he seemed completely calm and collected with the whole thing, like it was natural.
-"In fact, I insist."—Troye said, then grinning—"Don't worry about a thing, Connor. I'll take care of everything. Saturday, we celebrate the birthday of our September boys."
And just like that, Connor had a party on the way.
---
A/N
*throws update at you after two days of endless hours of excruciating writing*
HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY...!
Been a while. 'Sup?
Ok, first of all, HOW THE HELL DID WE ALREADY HIT OVER 25K READS LIKE WHAT!?
Also, MY FRIENDS SHOWED ME THAT ALGID IS GETTING KNOWN ON TUMBLR AND I'M LIKE WHAT!?
*faints from the impression*
*gets brought back because explaining to do*
OK, so, this is a shorter chapter, I know, I know. Next one is considerably longer, so please don't worry, once it's done, it'll be worth the wait hehe... Btw it's my birthday this week and I probably won't be able to write for a couple of days. My friends want to like force me out of my hermit cave and stuff (like they can... HA!)
I hope you are enjoying the story so far! I know it's very slow, but I want to think that we've already been through the first third of it, more or less. Oh yes, I am planning on this one to go for a while. It's just that I have a LOT of ideas for this story (plot-wise) and I want to try my best into channeling all of them, but at the same time I want to take some time to focus on Connor and Troye's newly found 'relationship'. I know I didn't make it seem like it on this chapter, but there's more of that coming (obviously).
So, this time around I want YOU guys to ask me questions! Any doubts about the story only! Like anything you might have not understood quite well, or that keeps you confused, so that I can answer to your doubts, and like that you would all be helping me see in what ways I'm failing to send the messages I'm trying to deliver, so that I can improve on that as I keep on writing.
Other than that, how crazy is that Connor is already twenty three in real life? Like he's a fetus? Like how?
Also WILD IS SO COOL SHET
Oh and btw I love all the comments you guys are leaving in chapters 16 and 17 hahaha I'm glad you like Alexa's character, I was reaaaally worried you'd hate her
Anyway, gotta go for now, but I'll keep in touch! (Get it? Get it? No? Ok...)
See you soon, you crazy lot!
--Coffee