Harry's POV:
There's an approximate number of 365 days in a year. Now, if you multiply that by 5, you get 1825. So, with that said, there's approximately 1825 days of joy, sadness, excitement, anger or whatever emotion you may have during 5 years. And those 5 years, those 1825 days, those 43 825 hours, I was going to spend locked up behind bars, drawing a line on the wall for each day in hell, and every day got worse and worse.
You change behind those bars. Your time locked up changes you. Yes, that was mainly the point, that you would come out to heaven after all those years in hell and all of a sudden be an angel on earth. But your mind changed. Your face changed. Your personality changed. I had only been there for three months and I was already depressed. The desperation became too strong, and I couldn't handle it. I had always been weak, never being able to carry any burden. Only other's burdens, not mine, but for the people I loved, I stood as steady as the mountains, strong and courageous like a lion. Nothing would come in my way.
But no one were here to carry mine.
Three months. Three awful months without seeing her beautiful face, flawless face. Her complexion was so fair. Yet it wasn't, speaking literally. It was unfair to me that she looked so good, and I couldn't get enough of her. Now, I didn't get her at all. Not even a little.
The fact that Lucy hadn't visited me disturbed me, yet it didn't surprise me. I mean of course she wouldn't wanna come see me. She was probably ashamed of me, and despised me. I understood that, even though the thought broke me. If there was one thing that kept me going, and one thing that kept me from crying every night, it was her. She was that one thing. It was vexatious that she had that effect on me, that I was so devoted to her. Because when I lost her, I lost my gravity.
Some people say that if you dream about someone, they are thinking about you.
If that was true, Lucy had to think about me a lot.
"Styles, you have a visitor."
My head tilted down from looking at the roof. An officer locked up the door and nodded for me to go with him. I furrowed my eyebrows. I wasn't expecting anyone. But I followed him nonetheless.
Walking through the halls of angry prisoners who cried for help, cursing and screaming how much they wanted to die, was truly something. I knew for sure that I would be traumatised for the rest of my life.
"Sir, I'm not excpecting anyone," I said carefully, not wanting to make the officer angry. They did have a short temper.
"That's not my problem, inmate. You're obligated to see all your visitors. If they are enemies you'll just have to deal with it. That's the law," he said dryly and kept walking, his body straightened and his footsteps steady. I sighed quietly and followed him to the end of the corridor. He opened the door to the visitation room. I had now gotten my own where nobody else was. Thankfully.
My jaw dropped to the floor and my eyes widened. My body started to shake. I swallowed, hearing the door being shut behind me.
"Ron," I hissed.
"Well, well. Won't you look at that. Harry in orange! Never thought I'd live to see that, but I guess people surprise you." He snickered.
"Why don't you just shut the fuck up considering you're the one who got me in here, and you should've been in this orange suit, not me," I spat.
I wasn't one for swearing, although I had done it before when I had gotten mad, but nevertheless I had learned that when you were to sit in prison for another five years, you simply did not care whatsoever.
He sat there with his stupid grin. "Easy now, Harry. You're kind of the one that got yourself into this though, since you didn't even snitch on us."
"I'm not a snitcher, nor will I ever be," I said. "And I'm not the one that decided that, you know what, why not send a boy that has no experience with smuggling all the way to Vegas to smuggle two tons of weed back to London?"
He put his hands up in defense. "I'm not the one who agreed to do it."
"Like I had a damn choice."
"Everyone has a choice, Harry. It's just a matter of what your choice will be. What direction you're going," he said and smiled. "Certainly not one direction, that's for sure."
"You manipulative, sadistic son of a-"
"Woah, woah, hold on! I came to say thank you, buddy!" He said in a light tone like we were friends. I ignored it.
"Thanks for what?"
"For not snitching of course. We would've been in here if it wasn't for you. So thank you. You're a noble person," he said, sounding somewhat genuine.
"Where you should've been all along."
"Then why didn't you say anything?"
"You know that I can say everything to the officer right now, right? It's only a door between us. You want me to do that?" I asked and smiled a bit, wanting to frighten him.
He frowned. "Harry, if you did that, you know my guys would come after you when you got out of prison."
"I have security guards better than your sugar babies."
"What the hell?"
I snickered and looked away for a brief moment. "Oh come on, Ron," I said and looked back at him with a smirk on my face. "I know you've been extra .. Cozy, with the guys. Especially, what's his name now... Christoff, is it?"
He scowled at me and groaned like an angry lion.
"I'll have to admit, he's a pretty good looking guy. No homo though."
"Enough!" He yelled. "Fine. I have. How did you even know?"
"The guys are weak for me. Especially Ron. Did you know that he's gay? I didn't. But I guess you could've figured."
His face faltered, and I had finally managed to wipe that annoying grin off his face. "I'm going to fucking kill him."
"Oh, no, he's not the one who told me," I said. "That was Christoff," I continued and smiled. "I'm pretty persuasive."
His eyebrows dug down into his nose area. "What happens between me and Christoff is my business. And what does that have to do with anything?"
I shrugged. "I'm just trying to have a little fun teasing you. It's the only way I'm gonna survive this hell hole. So if I could continue, that would be great."
"I'm leaving now."
"Thank God."
"Not so sure you'll be thanking your God when you find out," he said and stood up.
My eyebrows furrowed. "Find out what?"
He smirked. "You'll see," he said and went over to the exit door, opening it. He looked at me. "Have you spoken with Lucy lately?"
I swallowed, and shook my head.
"Huh," he said and looked down at the floor, before looking up at me again. "Odd." He smiled at me before closing the door.
"What," I started. "What did you do to her!" I screamed, but he was already out the door. "What did you do to Lucy?! Lucy!"
The officers came in and grabbed me, dragging me out of the room. I kicked and screamed.
"Ron, come back! Ron!"
"Contact his lawyer!" One of the officers yelled to the officer who came in. He nodded and went out again.
"Let go of me! I have to save Lucy!" I cried, all of a sudden sobbing. "I have to. She's my everything, I-"
I was cut off by my own tears running down my face. It was hard enough to stay in here, and now Lucy was in danger. How were you supposed to live with that? You simply don't live with that, because you'd do something. You would save them. But I couldn't save her. I couldn't do anything. I was stuck in there, and nobody listened to me. It was so different from what I was used to. Normally everyone would listen to me and be interested in what I was saying, but now, none. No one whatsoever cared one bit about me.
And I would have to learn to live with that.
~
"So what happened?"
"Nothing."
"Don't mutter to me, Harry, what happened?"
"I said nothing."
"I have had 36 defendants in my life. Do you really think I don't see right through people when they are lying?"
"Is that a rethorical question, or.."
"Look, Harry, if I'm supposed to help you, we have to cooperate here. Why were you screaming earlier?"
"To be quite frankly, that's none of your business, mister John."
"Is it not?"
I shook my head and shrugged.
"I believe it is. I'm not only here to help you get out of here, I'm here to help you survive here."
"Well, you're doing a great job so far, I'm alive, thank God."
"Harry, tell me now, or I'll make them shut down your account."
"I'm afraid I can't tell you, John. It's a secret."
I put my finger to my lips and made a 'shhh'.
"Harry, are you drunk?"
"Are you asking me if I've taken alcohol from another prisoner from their hiding spot in the cafeteria and shoved it down my throat, aka breaking the law in prison?"
He sighed and got the police officers to come in and take me. I felt dizzy as I got up, and my sight was blurry.
"Well, it was nice to see you again, Jonathan. Hope you have a wonderful night. I will probably spend my night in the SHU. Bye!"
And with that, he was gone, and I was left alone, drunk in the dark, cold SHU, also known as the hell hole in prison. I yelled and cried and screamed. It became too much for the officers, so they closed the little "window" I had on my door. The only source for fresh oxygen in my cell was closed. It was infuriating, although my mind was still not comprehending the whole thing. All I could think of was Lucy. Ron had her. He could do whatever the hell he wanted to her. He could even ..
Kill her.