I've been looking forward to writing this chapter since the birth of Jesus Christ; I couldn't pass up an opportunity like Labor Day (for those in the US of A) to crank out another chapter! And yes, this chapter is 99% vanilla smut, so if that makes you uncomfortable, I am truly sorry. Though I do promise that I didn't even use the words that rhyme with "click" or "clock". With that being said, I hope you all enjoy this chapter and thank you so much for reading and supporting me!
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS: I don't normally put up external music links, but this song is so completely accurate to how Niall is feeling right now. I promise it's worth playing in the background :-)
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"NIALL"
My legs began to shake as I stood in front of the towering gates of the Styles' mansion; I swallowed thickly, throat as dry as sandpaper and hands as damp as fresh fallen snow. I tried to take a step forward, only to crumble in a heap a couple of paces away from the foot of the gate.
I pressed my head against the ground, gripping patches of grass tightly in my hands as a string of sobs wracked through my body. Teardrops slipped from my eyes, poisoning the spring grass with a touch of sorrow. I pulled my arms towards my chest and clawed at my cloak, crying out loud; I couldn't stop the pained feeling in my heart.
"I love him," I sniffed, wiping my eyes with the sleeve of my cloak. My lips pressed together into a thin line and my eyes squeezed shut tightly as another sob shook my body like a boat caught in the middle of a thunderstorm. "Please don't take him away from me."
From the distance, the faint sound of galloping horses could be heard above the serene rustling of trees in the spring breeze; desperate to rid myself of the unpleasant thoughts which plagued me, I tried to concentrate on the gentle sound of their hooves dashing through the fresh grass.
As they got closer and closer, their heavy gallops shook the ground beneath me, rattling every bone in my body. One particular horse slowed down right before it reached me, taking its time to circle around me as its rider gazed down at me. I slowly sat up and shielded my eye from the evening sun, trying to glance up at the rider.
My heart nearly stopped when I caught sight of the gleaming green eyes I had fallen deeply for. His hair was much longer now, framing his face like a breathtaking painting in a museum; even the setting sun couldn't detract his beauty. My hands began shaking like frail leaves in the wind as I pulled the hood of my cloak back, revealing my shadowed face.
Time seemed to stop as our eyes met for the first time. A silence blanketed us, one so thick that even Nature was holding her breath.
I climbed to my feet as a strong wind swept by, rustling my cloak and blowing my hair into disarray. His breath hitched as I ran my fingers through my hair, blinking when a strand unceremoniously caught onto my eyelash. "Niall?" He climbed down from the horse, taking small cautious steps towards me, almost as if he couldn't believe it himself.
I nodded my head timidly, blushing madly as he cupped my cheeks and brushed his thumb gently against my skin. My body felt like it was on fire; even though his hands were as cold as ice, it set my skin aflame. Surely the blush was evident in comparison to my pale complexion.
My trembling hands loosely hooked onto his arms. "Yes," I replied; my voice came out hushed, reflecting the fear inside of me that this was all a dream—one that would shatter if I dared to speak louder than a whisper. I curled my body into him as another strong breeze passed by us. I glanced up at him, forcing a smile onto my face.
Harry gently tilted my chin up and pressed his lips against mine, captivating my entire being in a heartbeat; my mind was blank, consumed by his presence. I felt alive. It was like the warmth of his lips had breathed life back into me, something I had been missing for a very long time. I desperately gripped his arms tightly, afraid that if I didn't have something to hold onto, I would crumble into nonexistence.
He gingerly wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me closer towards him, gently knocking his head back slightly and slotting our lips together effortlessly—just like how our relationship was meant to be. A painful wrench tugged at my heart as I let out a strained sob, pulling away from him and burying my face into the palm of my hands.
This was too cruel.
"Hey," he mumbled, tracing his fingers down my spine as he pulled me into his arms. He brushed a few stray strands of hair away from my eyes and pressed a kiss to my temple. "Why are you crying?" He lifted my chin up and smiled as he peppered a couple of kisses down my cheek, trailing a tear that had slipped from my eyes.
I choked out a sob and hid my face into the crook of his neck, sniffling as he tightened his arms around my shaking shoulders. "I just really love you."
Both of our bodies simultaneously tensed up immediately after the words had slipped out of my mouth; it was almost as if reality had come crashing back down, reminding us that this was not the normal relationship which we had shared. It was just—
The kisses just came so naturally.
I pushed him away from me and opened my mouth to defend myself, only to be silenced by his lips. Our noses bumped lightly against each other as he tilted his head from one side to another, further deepening our kiss. "You can't say those things," he mumbled, breath mingling with mine as he pressed our foreheads together. Our lips were barely touching, but the heat of his skin was driving me over the edge; I couldn't help my eyes from fluttering shut as his lips grazed against mine with each word he spoke. "Not if you don't want me to touch you."
The blood began to rise to my cheeks as an incredible feeling of pure want rushed through my body. "What if I want you to?"
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Harry leaned down and pecked my forehead softly, smiling as he intertwined our hands. "You're smaller than I remember," he said, grinning cheekily as he pulled me along; the two of us scurried down the winding corridors of the main mansion, up to his bedroom. The oil lamps lined along the walls of the corridors flickered as we passed by them, dancing behind their glass cages.
I squeezed his hand tightly, closing my eyes as I ran my thumb over the back of his hand; I never wanted this to end. I couldn't bear the thought of losing the warmth of his touch again. Tears began to slip down my cheeks as I trained my eyes onto his back.
"You're awfully quiet," he frowned, glancing back at me curiously. I quickly wiped my tears with the sleeve of my cloak, hoping that he had not noticed. I smiled back wearily and leaned my head against his shoulder, uttering a lie and placing yet another bandage over the seeping hole in my heart, reluctant to sour what little time we still had left together by allowing him to discover the truth.
As we reached the grand doors leading to his bedroom, Harry pushed me up against the wooden finish, drawing out a soft squeak from my lips. He brought our intertwined hands up to his lips and pressed a kiss to the back of my hand before leaning down and nipping my neck gently. My mind began to race as I aimlessly draped an arm around his neck and let out an embarrassing moan.
"Inside," I managed to say, completely unable to formulate intellectual sentences.
Harry slipped his hands down my waist and hooked them behind my bum, pulling me closer towards him as he grazed his lips against my ear. "If you can get the keys from my pocket." Just like that, he pulled his head back and grinned cheekily down at me before rubbing the tip of his nose against mine and pecking my lips softly.
My cheeks flushed red as he slipped his thigh between my legs. I could feel my heartbeat pulsing through the tips of my finger, body over-sensitized by just the touch of his skin. I whimpered as he gripped my bum and rolled my hips down onto his thigh, sending an incredulous erotic ripple of pleasure throughout my body. My head tossed back against the door as I clutched his shoulders tightly.
"Harry, please." I slipped my trembling hands down from his shoulders and tried to reach inside of the pockets of his petticoat, only to be distracted when he attached his lips to my neck once again and sucked particularly hard, almost to the point where I was certain he was drawing blood.
"Say my name again."
He rubbed his thigh roughly against me, eliciting a moan so loud I was afraid the entire mansion could hear my cries. I tried to clamp my mouth shut, shaking my head upon his request, knowing that that if I dared to open my mouth, I wouldn't be able to hold back. My hands fumbled through the inside pockets of his petticoat, trying hard to ignore his hot breath fanning against my ears, whispering the dirty things he would do to me right then and there.
Without a doubt, my skin must have been beet red by the time I finally found the bedroom key and shoved it into his face. I breathed a sigh of relief as he retracted from me, letting out a small disheartened sigh as he slipped the key into the lock.
He quickly pulled me inside and wrapped his arms around me tightly, almost as if he was afraid I'd disappear again if he let me go for a single second. I shifted my weight onto my toes and chastely pressed a kiss to his lips, sheepishly smiling as he stood there gaping like a fish. Over his shoulder, I caught a glimpse of the loveseat beside the fireplace, one that held too many memories between us to count.
I gripped his petticoat tightly and buried my face into his chest. "I love you, Harry," I mumbled, closing my eyes as an indescribable sadness washed over me.
Life was an odd thing; when I didn't want him, I was forced to remain by his side, around the clock. When he was the only thing I wanted, I simply couldn't have him. If only time could stop forever and allow us to stay like this.
"I love you too," he replied, cupping my cheeks and gently wiping away a couple of tears with the pad of his thumb. He wrapped his arms around my waist and easily lifted me off of the ground, laughing when I let out a small squeak and struggled in his arms. In a mere heartbeat, I found myself sandwiched between the mattress of his bed and his towering body, pressed flush against mine. "You're so beautiful," he mumbled, pressing his lips just below my eyes, catching my tears with the skin of his lips.
He gingerly untied my cloak and peeled the thin layer back, revealing a ragged baseball tee and a pair of tight black skinny jeans. Harry traced his fingers along the length of my thigh gently, curiously examining the strange article of clothing and letting out a huff of approval as his fingers grazed over the inside of my thigh.
As quickly as it came, his hands retracted as he shrugged his coat off and began fumbling with the buttons of his dress shirt. "Let me," I said, smiling slightly as I sat up and gently rested my hands on top of his. Harry smiled sheepishly back at me and nuzzled his head into the crook of my beck and sighed contently.
My eyes fluttered shut as he gently grazed his lips against my skin, pressing small kisses to my neck. I glanced up at the ceiling and began blinking rapidly, hoping to rid my mind of the painful thoughts of the sorrows tomorrow would inevitably bring. Any ounce of energy remaining in my body seemed to dissipate completely, deeming the task impossible; my fingers continued to slip between the fabrics of his shirt time and time again.
"I'm sorry," I sniffed, scratching at his shoulder lightly, laughing humorlessly to myself and pressing my head against his chest as he sat back up. "I don't know what's wrong with me."
"Nothing's wrong with you, love." He smiled and gently laid me back down onto the bed, leaning down and pressing a kiss to my lips. My mind began to draw blanks as the word love continued to repeat like a mantra over and over again in my head.
While I was lost in my thoughts, Harry dipped his head beneath my shirt and began nudging the fabric up with his nose, trailing kisses up my chest. "Hold on," I gasped, instinctively clamping my legs around his body; I desperately cupped his chin, trying to pull him back up. Harry, however, fought against my weak hands, catching my nipple between his teeth and eliciting a strained whimper.
He began to move much faster now, continuing to nip at my skin as he began fumbling with my trousers. Unable to remove them properly, he roughly yanked both my trousers and my briefs down my legs, leaving my ashamed body on full display. I timidly curled into myself and hugged my arms, growing more and more self-conscious by the second.
"I want to see all of you," he mumbled. He craned his neck up and nibbled my ear softly, hands gently trailing up my thigh.
My breaths came out short and shallow as I turned towards him with my mouth left agape, silent begging for his lips. With each touch of his finger, my body began to uncurl like a blossoming flower, eagerly awaiting the kiss of a bee.
I gazed down at him lazily through hooded eyes, whining softly as he slipped several fingers into his mouth; he smiled slightly, gently rubbing his thumb against my hip before dipping down between my legs and disappearing completely from my view. I tried to sit up slightly to catch a glimpse of him, only to flop back down onto the bed, body quivering in arousal as a deep blush fanned over my skin like a heat wave.
My legs languidly parted as I lifted my hips up and rocked back slightly against his tongue. A sickening feeling settled in the pit of my stomach as sadness and grief began to plague me once more. I cover my eyes with my arm as I my body shook faintly. Harry seemed to have mistaken my sadness for uneasiness and gently wrapped his hand around me, slowly pumping his hand up and down to distract me.
I moaned weakly, hands scrambling for the sheets as I lewdly grinded my hips, bolding asking for more despite of the nerves bubbling inside of me. Taking my words as permission, Harry prodded a finger at my entrance, slowly pushing it inside of me. My toes curled into the sheets, voice drawled out into a cry.
A mixture of pain and pleasure coursed through my veins as Harry leaned back up and gingerly pressed his lips to mine. I tried to concentrate on his lips instead of the searing pain below, but it only increased when he pressed in another finger. My breath hitched as my body tensed, nails scraping down his bare back harshly as I whimpered into his mouth.
He smiled and pecked my nose gently. "You're doing so well," he said, pressing our foreheads together as he pulled his fingers out and slipped them into his mouth one by one. I glanced up at him through damp lashes, whining and panting softly; just the sight of him alone was completely erotic and it made me quiver at the mere thought of what was to come. "Relax," he hummed, scaling his hands gently down my waist.
I tried to focus on his calm droning voice as he pressed his fingers into my entrance once again; this time around, the painful burning sensation from before had almost completely subsided, replaced by a heated pleasure. I tossed my head back against the pillows, mewling softly and rocking my hips back slightly to meet him halfway.
Harry gently wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me closer towards him, nosing at my neck softly before sucking on the sensitive skin behind my ear. "Harry," I moaned, back arching off of the bed as my eyes fluttered shut, mind reeling in indescribable pleasure. Harry took that moment of complete vulnerability to slip his fingers out; my eyes snapped open as I pulled Harry down towards me, muffling a moan into his shoulder as he rolled his hips slowly into me.
I clamped my mouth shut and bit back a moan as tears began welling in my eyes; this was the first and last time we would ever be making love. As I flopped back down onto the bed, Harry smiled languidly and chastely pressed a kiss to my lips.
"I have only ever used a kiss as a way to say goodbye, but with you, I want it to be forever."