To be completely honest, I wasn't exactly looking forward to going back over to Joe and Caspar's. I didn't want to be asked questions about the nightmare I had and I most definitely didn't want to embarrass myself in Joe's vlog. However, hanging out with Joe and Caspar always made me feel happy which is a feeling that was beginning to become foreign to me.
"Caspar and I haven't decided on something to do today because we are waiting for a friend to come round. She's our new neighbor and she's going to be making an appearance in both of our main channel videos! This vlog will be up before then though, so you guys can look forward to that." I hear Joe's voice muffling through the door. A smile creeps onto my face when he talks about me. Before opening the door, I quickly check my appearance in my mirror. Got to look good for the fans!I take a deep breath and open the door.
"Yoooo! There she is!" Joe exclaims pointing the camera towards me. Shit I should have prepared something to say.
"Hello there sugglets!" I say giving my best smile possible.
"So guys, this is Harlow, or as I call her, Lo. She lives next door and is really annoying." Joe explains to the camera.
"Hey!" I pout. Am I really annoying?
"I'm just joking!" Joe chuckles turning the camera to me once again. I better get used to this.
"Don't be mean to Harlow!" Caspar says in a gruffly voice. His face is scrunched up making him look like a raisin. It's actually really adorable.
"Ya! Don't be mean to me." I add joining Caspar by the couch.
"I'm sorry! I was just joking!" Joe fake cries into the camera.
"This just got real weird." I giggle falling back onto the couch, or what I thought would be the couch...
"Ow!" I hear Caspar scream. How did I not notice Caspar sitting down behind me?
"Hello there?" I say awkwardly now that I'm laying on Caspar's lap.
"Hey." Caspar smirks with a sexy expression. Hold up, did I just say sexy? I look up to see Joe staring at us. He was still holding the vlogging camera and it was pointed at us, but he was almost frozen in place. His facial expression was blank, maybe a hint of Jealousy? But I couldn't be sure.
"Okay," I sigh quickly rolling off of Caspar, "What are we doing today?" Joe was still staring, but only at Caspar. It sort of looked like a glare.
"Am I missing something?" I ask pointing to the two of them. Maybe they had an argument before I came here?
"Oh uh no. I was just thinking." Joe clears his throat. Weird.
"I say we order pizza" Caspar suggests pulling on my hand to sit back down on the couch. I sit down beside him and go onto my phone.
"Oh! We should go to the trampoline place!" Joe shouts excitedly.
"Thats like an hour away." Caspar whines resting his head on my shoulder.
"I'm down." I smile and Joe smiles back. Tingles flutter throughout my body. Stop it Harlow! He's a freind, and will always just be a friend.
"Awesome. Let's get ready then." Joe says more to me than his camera. I lift Caspar's head from his shoulder and he gives me a pout.
"I need to change." I tell him so he'll let me leave.
"But you look fine." Caspar smiles making me blush a bit.
"If I wear this shirt than I'll expose myself to the world." I laugh pointing to my flowy shirt. Girls, you understand. Never where a loose fitting shirt on any sort of trampoline.
"So." Caspar smirks, this time making me full out blush.
"Caspar!" I scold him quickly standing up and walking out of their apartment. I rarely see that side to Caspar, sometimes it's funny, but other times it's just weird.
I remove my white shirt and bralette and change into my Lulu Lemon floral sports bra. Running used to be apart of my daily routine, so I have a lot of sportswear. They sadly don't get used that much anymore though, after what happened to me I'm too scared to go out alone. For a shirt, I go with a bit of a tight fitting tank top, just so that it stays on when I jump. I then grab some black Nike leggings and pull them on along with my black Roche Runs. Lastly, I pull my hair out of its bun and leave it in a pony tail before getting my wallet and heading back to the Jaspar household.
"Back! When do you-" I begin whilst coming through the door. My eyes literally bulge out of my head when I see Joe standing in the kitchen, in just his boxers. Abs. So much Abs. Oh my god and v-lines. Why you do this to me?
"Oh. Uh. Sorry." Joe mumbles quickly standing behind the counter.
"No it fine," Totally fine, " I should have knocked." Joe and I stand there for a few seconds. I avert my eyes away from his gorgeous abs so that I don't look like one of those thirsty girls. Why isn't he going downstairs to change yet? I glance at him to see what he's up to and he's just looking at me. His eyes travel up and down my body and I instantly feel insecure.
"Uh. Joe?" I mumble. Is something wrong with these leggings?
"Sorry. I was just- just-I'll go change now." He stutters speed walking to the stairs. Geez, maybe I do look bad? I sigh and walk over to the couch now feeling extremely insecure.
"What's got you so down?" Caspar asks coming from the stairs.
"What? Nothing." I laugh weakly. Caspar give me the 'ya right' look and plops down next to me.
"Fine. I don't know. I walked in on Joe and he was just in his boxers. That just made it awkward but then he just stared at me and it felt like he was judging me... It's stupid. Nothing you would understand. I just sort of feel a bit insecure." I shrug letting some feelings spill over. I don't know why, but I always want to tell all my secrets to Caspar.
"Please Harlow. You look fine. Plus, I'm pretty sure Joe fancies you." Caspar chuckles.
"Yeah okay." I laugh looking at Caspar. His blue eyes seem to be smiling even thought he isn't physically. Wow. His eyes are so much more blue then I remembered.
In that moment, I realized how much I wanted to trust Caspar. However, trust was just something that I wasn't capable of anymore. Even if I did trust him, it would only put him in danger. Besides, Luke is bound to find me soon, which just means that I'll have to leave. I furrow my eyebrows at the thought.
"What are you thinking about?" Caspar asks looking into my eyes. Oh nothing. Just the fact that I finally feel happy for once but am just waiting for everything to come crashing down. And once that does happen, I'm not sure if I will be able to handle it.
"Nothing." I reply. He just nods with uncertainty.
"Are y'all ready to go?" Joe asks in a lisp as he stumbles up the stairs.
"Shotgun!" I yell bolting out the door. I get car sick in the back, okay!
At first, I run to the left side to get to the passenger side, but quickly remember that I'm in England. I've only been here for like a week and a half so it's pretty understandable.
"You're so American!" Joe chuckles following behind me.
"Oh shut up!" I holler back slipping into the car.
Joe soon joins me and sits in the driver seat.
"Casp's forgot something." Joe says buckling his seat belt. I nod and do the same.
"Are you okay? You know, from this morning?" Joe asks sincerely. He looks at me with his sea green eyes and I just want to hug him. Quite frankly, I'm not fine. I'll never be fine. My friendship with Joe and Caspar is limited.
"Yeah. I'm fine." I answer blandly.
"Positive?" He pushes. No Joe I'm Not. I've got this huge crush on you that I shouldn't have, I've got a crazy ex boyfriend who's gonna murder me, and I just don't want to have to leave you. I think to myself. I'm almost positive he can see the hurt in my eyes. I just don't think I have the strength to push people away anymore. I blink back a tear and slowly shake my head.
"No." I whisper.
~•~•~•~•~
Alright guys! I'm really sorry for this chapter was sort of a filler as well... I promise the next one is filled with a bunch of awesome things! Can't wait to publish it (:
Also, I am giving shout outs to those of you who vote, and comment on this chapter. You name will be tagged/listed in the the next chapter! Hope to see some feedback on this story (:
Xo, TextingSuggs