That Youtuber Next Door (Joe Sugg Fanficton)

Stars // Harlow

When I woke from my nap, the scenario of Joe saying all of what I thought he said played in my mind. It was all too good to be true, for him to call me beautiful. For him to want to help me so badly. It had to have been a dream.

I slowly dragged myself from the couch an looked outside. Wow. I must have been sleeping for a while. Not a thread of sunlight shown in the sky, only the stars and moon. It was a beautiful night.

As I studied the night sky, I noticed a dark figure sat out on Joe and Caspar's side of our small lawn. The figure's head was tilted to the sky, as if he was waiting for something. I decided to go join them.

"Caspar?" I asked once I stepped out into the cool fall air.

"No, Joe actually." Joe corrects me. I'm almost surprised since this doesn't seem like something Joe would do, star gazing.

"Mind if I join you?" I question not wanting to interrupt.

"No, not at all." Joe smiles making me blush a little. I sit down next to him and look at the stars. There was a long pause before Joe asks,

"You aren't leaving right?"

"What? No. Why would you think that?" I say stunned by his sudden question. The sad thing was, I thought about leaving when I thought Luke had found me.

"I don't know. It just seemed like you were going to when you-" Joe trails off and takes his focus from the stars and turns it to me.

"Well I'm not." I whisper.

"Have you ever had a dream so heartbreakingly beautiful that it felt like Hell to stay awake? Because thats what I feel like right now." Joe asks deep in thought. I pondered his question for a bit.

"I wish that I could say that I have." I sigh. The only dreams I get are nightmares, and lately, it seems like I'm living one.

"Really? I wish that I hadn't." Joe says looking into my eyes. Damn, he is beautiful.

"What was it about?" I ask in a whispered tone.

"You." Joe replies and this time he wasn't staring into my eyes, instead he was looking at my lips.

"And what made it so beautiful?" I question biting my lip.

"You." Joe whispers. Does he want to kiss me? My mind begins to race with a bunch of questions, but the statement that outshines all the others is If I kiss him, I'm dragging him down to my problematic life. I bring my gaze back to his eyes and they are glistening.

"How is it possible for me to make a dream beautiful? I only cause trouble, and pain." I try to laugh to bring him out of whatever is going through his head.

"I don't get why you don't ever let yourself be happy." Joe says.

"Because I'm afraid that if I do, then once something goes wrong, I won't be able to handle it." I explain.

"And what makes you think something will go wrong?" Joe asks, slightly inching towards me.

"It just always does." I say beginning to lose myself in his eyes.

"Well then don't let it." And just when I think he's about to turn away, he leans in.

His lips meet mine and everything that was bouncing around in my head seems to disappear. Butterflies dance in my stomach and time stops. Our lips move in sync as my hands find their way to his soft hair.

One of his hands is placed delicately on my waist as the other one strokes my cheek. The kiss deepens when I feel his tongue press against my closed lips. I open allowing him access and he begins to take the dominant role.

Why does this feel so right? With every movement I just want more. My heart pounds in my chest and my eyes are closed trying to grasp every touch, every movement. Harlow stop. You're just going to end up hurting him in the end. It's not worth it.

All of the voices in my head return me to reality. This isn't meant to happen. A girl like me doesn't belong with a guy like Joe. Joe deserves someone who won't keep secrets from him. Someone who actually has trust left to give. That of which, is not me. At all.

"Joe. This can't happen." I gasp pulling away from the kiss.

"What? But you kissed me back?" Joe says with a hint of embarrassment laced in his voice.

"I-I know. I don't want to hurt you." I mumble getting up from the grass.

"Then what are you doing now?" Joe asks raising his voice. I turn around to see his face.

"Saving you." I say back as if it's obvious.

"But I don't need saving!" Joe almost yells back.

"Exactly. You don't if you stay away from me, Joe!" My voice cracks a little and I turn away to pull myself together.

"But you aren't trouble. You don't cause pain. You are beautiful, and kind. You care for others when really you need to be caring for yourself. Just please Harlow, just this one time, allow yourself to be happy. I will protect you from whatever you think will take away your happiness." Joe almost begs.

"You don't understand. That's not your responsibility, Joe. I'm a loose canon." I sigh quietly.

"What do you mean by that?" Joe asks.

"I mean that once he finds me, I'm gone." I say in monotone.

"Who's he!?" Joe questions bringing his hands to his hair. I'm almost afraid that he will lose it.

"None of your concern."

"But it is my concern because I care about you, Lo!" Joe strains.

"Please don't make this harder than it already is." I swallow looking to the ground.

"It doesn't even have to be hard though." Joe breaths grabbing my hands so that I'm facing him. My face lights up in alarm as I smell alcohol on his breath. I look to the ground and see two empty cans of beer. This isn't Joe. This is just a drunken version of a teenage boy hyped up on hormones.

"You're drunk?" Hurt is evident in my voice as I yank my hands from his grip. He didn't actually want to kiss me. He probably even had more than just the two beers on the ground.

"Just a little bit." I can now hear the slur in his voice. How did I not notice this before?

"Just leave me alone." I say, tears threatening to spill out of my eyes.

"No! P-please stay with me, I-I'm not that drunk." Joe stutters grabbing my hand once again. I don't like this version of Joe at all. It reminds me of Luke in a way.

"You're just going to make this worse!" I yell in his face and slip my hand from his grip. In a way, I don't really understand why I'm this upset. It's not like joe tried to take advantage of me. He didn't try to hurt me either. He was actually very kind in trying to help me.

"I'm sorry!" Joe shouts after me as I run into my house. I slam the door and burst into tears. I think the real reason why I'm this upset is because I know Joe is a good guy. He was drunk though...

I feel as if I'm looking for a reason to leave Joe. If there was something bad about him, it wouldn't be as hard. The main thing motivating me to keep my distance is to keep him safe, and this should be enough. But my feelings for him are starting to get the best of me.

The only way to stay away from him my be to make him hate me, and that's what I must do.