Friday morning; the final day of my final week at home.
Tyler's goal was to keep this whole week a surprise, so instead of telling me where we were going and what we were doing for every day, he just picked out my outfit for me every morning, according to what he had planned.
As you can imagine, this was a mess of a system, and usually resulted in me just switching the clothes for something that was similar, but actually matching.
On Monday, we went to Cedar Point. I was shocked when we first pulled in, I'd never pinned Tyler as someone that was into big thrill rides and rollercoasters, and I was right. He still went on everything with me, because, "It wouldn't have been as fun," and, "would defeat the purpose of us spending the day together." So he just closed his eyes and screamed and held on for his dear life on everything, meaning that I couldn't even enjoy the actual thrill of the ride, I could only cry laughing at Ty.
Tuesday was much more peaceful and relaxed, spending the day in Short North Arts District. We walked through too many art galleries that I could count, and despite my lack of interest in coffee, Tyler insisted that we went into every café and tried something. I am a firm believer that I gained my freshman fifteen just from the amount of muffins and pastries Tyler made me try.
Wednesday was my family day. Although Tyler and I were certainly looking forward to a week together, we were both sort of in agreement that my parents should see me before I get on the plane to Connecticut, and not just at night when I get home to go to sleep. So we had a lazy day around the house, then went out for dinner at Marcella's Ristorante, which has been one of my favorite restaurants since I was a little kid. It wasn't a big day, but I was certainly glad to spend it with my mom and dad.
And then came Thursday, our last eventful and fun filled day together. And Tyler brought me to the beach. But not just any beach, the one that he brought me to the night I went to his house after my parents' party. It wasn't as pretty or exciting as it was at night, so after lots of begging, Tyler agreed that we could stay until after the sun went down.
By that time, most of the families and annoying kids kicking up sand and screaming had left, and it was just the two of us. We watched the sunset and snacked on what was left of the cookies that my mom had made yesterday and packed for us, and spent the night talking and laughing. And once it was totally dark and all of the cookies were gone, Tyler decided to sneak up behind me when I wasn't paying attention and attack me with tickles. This lead to me crying laughing and screaming and kicking, and once I was the slightest bit out of his grasp, I screamed, grabbed as much as I could quickly reach and keep in my hands, and made a run for the car.
It wasn't long before Tyler came out to the parking lot with the rest of our stuff packed with him. He threw it all in the trunk, where I had put everything I grabbed, and got into the drivers seat. But he couldn't start the car and actually pull out until he turned to give me an, "Are you serious Alena? Was that really necessary?" look, and until I laughed.
Looking up at my ceiling now, I smiled remembering last night. I just stayed in bed trying to get my heart back into my chest. Today was the day. It was two in the morning. Tyler had woke up a few minutes ago and got in the shower. As for myself, I didn't sleep much. In fact, not at all from what I could remember.
It was just so strange. I mean, perhaps I'm just making a huge deal out of nothing. I'm sure that every other person leaving for college isn't freaking out this much, why should I?
I'm not even nervous. I'm not nervous about starting school and meeting new people. I don't care about that stuff. If anything, I'm excited for that stuff. All I am is stuck. I don't want to leave my life here in Ohio. I don't want to leave my family and my friends, and I sure as hell don't want to leave Tyler.
I sighed and closed my eyes before finally lifting myself off of my bed and going into the bathroom to join Ty in the shower. After ridding of my clothes, I walked in and stepped under the water in front of him. He didn't say anything, just wrapped his arms around me when I dropped my head against his left collarbone. He rubbed my back, spreading the falling water from my neck to my waist.
"Just breath, okay?" Ty started. "We're gonna make it through this. It could be worse, you know. We're only a three and a half hour flight away from each other. And you know we can still talk to each other on the phone all the time, you can send me pictures of all of the awesome things that you're doing at Yale, and I'll just respond with all of the lame things I'm doing here at home. It's going to be okay, it's just something new." We pulled away from each other at the end, and he grabbed the soap, starting to scrub off his arms. I reached for my shampoo and started washing my hair.
"It's just not the same." I exhaled, rinsing off my hands and then rinsing out my hair, then reaching for the conditioner. "I like seeing you do all of these lame things in person." I finally gave him a smile and he laughed, shaking his head and looking to the floor. While my conditioner sat in for a bit, I quickly shaved.
"It is gonna suck Alena, but we're gonna make it through." Tyler finally said as I rinsed out my conditioner. He stood from the corner bench he was sitting on and wrapped his arms around my waist. My arms were back behind my head, still trying to comb through my hair and rinse out the conditioner. Tyler just ducked his head down and planted a kiss square on my chest, then another one on my collarbone, and another on my neck, until he jerked his head back spitting out and making distorted faces.
"What the hell, are you okay?" I asked him, trying to hide my laughter.
"I just got your conditioner in my mouth!" He lightly pushed my out from under the water and started trying to rinse off his tongue. "That may smell good, but it tastes disgusting." I just laughed and reached for my shower scrub and loofa, starting to wash my arms and shoulders down to my torso and down my legs to my feet. "I'll leave you to yourself, I need to brush my teeth." Tyler stuck his tongue out again, squinting his eyes and scrunching his neck in, then pulling the shower curtain to the side and stepping out.
While he dried off and brushed his teeth out there, I went back under the shower head and rinsed the vanilla scented bubbles off of my skin. After rinsing my face quickly to wake myself up a little more, I twisted the dial and shut the shower off, and opened the curtain to step out. Tyler had a towel wrapped around his waist, hunched over the sink, vigorously brushing his teeth. I couldn't help but laugh as I wrapped my hair up into a towel and started drying off my body.
"You laugh now, but just wait, karma is coming for you." Tyler threatened after rinsing and spitting into the sink, putting his tooth brush back on the counter.
"I'm only laughing because I've been though it, you seriously don't think that I've ever gotten shampoo or conditioner in my mouth?" I placed the towel back on the rack and exchanged it for my bath robe, which I slid into and wrapped the tie around my waist.
"That is true." Tyler followed me out into my room and to my closet. "Wait, does you leaving mean that I have to unpack all of my stuff here too? Like does that mean I'm moving out too?" Tyler turned to ask, pulling a t-shirt off of a hanger and slipping it over his head.
"As much as my parents would probably love to have you, I'm sure it would be best for you to take most of your stuff home. Although, you could keep a set of comfy clothes here for when I come home on holidays and breaks and you wanna spend the night." I responded, picking up the outfit that I had already set aside for today. My summer and fall clothes were all packed up to bring to college, and the rest of my clothes stayed hung in my closet. My plan being to swap out clothes for the season every time I come home, I would hopefully be saving space in my dorm room. Besides, I probably won't want my winter coat in August.
After putting on a bra and underwear and sliding into a pair of cropped jeans and a white collared blouse, I put my Yale lanyard around my neck and my watch on my wrist. I slipped into some comfy and simple beige flats and put on my cross body bag on my shoulder, then letting it fall to the other side and fall across my torso. I had my plane ticket, wallet, student ID, room key, phone, and headphones, along with my carry on bag with my laptop and hairbrush, toothbrush/toothpaste, and other last minute packs, and I was ready to go.
My mom and dad had left yesterday to start driving my stuff down, meaning they weren't here for me to say goodbye to. So instead, Tyler and I made our way down the stairs and into the garage to go to the airport.
We took my car, but Tyler drove. We didn't say much. Inside the car was very stiff and the space felt tight, almost like the eerie silence was engulfing us in, but what was there to say? Anything I could think of would most likely be worded wrong, and then I'd just regret opening my mouth in the first place. But everything that I'd considered saying all sort of sounded the same.
"For fuck's sake, Tyler, I adore you. Why am I even doing this? Why can't you just come with me? Why do I have to go to Yale to do pre-law? I don't even know if I want to major in pre-law anymore. I don't even know what the hell I want. But I know I want you. I want to be with you."
I don't know. It even sounded kind of stupid in my head, but regardless, it was driving me crazy.
In fact, I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't even notice that Tyler had parked in front of the airport and the car was stopped. Tyler opened his door and forcefully closed it, bringing me out of my trance. I reached next to me and opened my door, grabbed my backpack and got out of the car.
Tyler and I walked into the airport hand in hand, and I was brought face to face with security lines and the forever feeling process of getting through here and onto my plane to leave. I turned to him and still without a word, I yanked him into me, gripping the back of his t-shirt and holding him tight against me. My head rested against his chest and I took this chance to breath him in one last time, at least, for the last time in a while, and a tear rolled down my face.
"I love you Tyler Robert Joseph." My words were muffled against his chest, but still audible. "No matter where we are or how long goes by, I'm going to love you. And I'll be back, okay? I promise I'll be back." I pulled my head away from him, but still kept him in my arms as I looked up into his eyes. "Please, please just wait for me." Another tear rolled down my cheek as the words finally poured out of my mouth, making more sense than they did in my head.
Tyler just brought a head up and wiped away my tears, then tucked his hand behind my neck. "I would wait forever for you Alena Danielle Jenkins. I love you no matter where we are, or how much time passes." He kissed my forehead. "I promise I'll wait for you." And with that, he finally kissed my lips. It was passionate, loving, safe, everything all at once and everything that it needed to be. His hands stayed at my hip and the back of my neck, and we just held each other close and kissed as if the rest of the world and all of these problems didn't exist. It was beautiful. I still cried.
When we finally pulled our lips away, Tyler brought his hand that was on my neck down to his pocket, his other hand taking one of mine. "This is for you. Hold onto it, okay? Listen to it and remember me and us and everything that we've shared these past few months. Remember me." He slipped a thumb drive into my hands. I wasn't at all sure what it contained, but I held onto it for dear life in one hand, and squeezed his other hand in mine.
"I could never forget." And with that, my fingers unlaced from his and I turned to go up the stairs and through security, and onto a flight of my new life.
There is always going to be a part that grasps for what was once there. And I'd like to think that as time would go on that hopeful slice of my being would grow until all of me was filled with hope and confidence in that we'd always be what we were in these few months. There is always going to be a part of me that understands and accepts the truth. An overwhelming side of me that is willing and ready to move forward and dive into change. A part of me that knew that no matter what was said or what happened, nothing could ever be exactly the same after this moment. A part of me that was accepting of this harsh reality.
But no matter what the ratio, and no matter how tiny that slice of hope was, and whether or not it would grow, I knew it would never shrink. It would always be there. There would always be the part of me that ached for him and his touch and know that once again I would be in his warm embrace. That I would find my way back to his silly faces and his voice that made anywhere feel like home. That I would one day go back into my room and fall into bed with him and sleep for hours with our bodies molded into the perfectly fitting puzzle pieces they were. That all of this would come full circle.
Life throws a lot of curveballs. It hits a lot of bumps and sometimes it helps you back up. My life has still only been very short and safe, and I have only recovered so much. From here, I guess I'll have to wait and see.
AUTHOR'S NOTE; GUYS I LIED THERE WASN'T A COUPLE CHAPTERS LEFT THIS IS IT. IT IS ALL OVER, LOVELIES. (actually there is an epilogue but this is that last official chapter)
I honest to god cried writing this whole thing and I am such a mess I can't believe that my first wattpad story is over. This has been so incredible, I have loved writing this for you guys and engaging with you all. You have made this such an awesome experience!
When I first decided to put this story out into the world, I was terrified, I had no idea what to expect. I didn't know if people would like it, I didn't think anyone would even read it. And I am publishing this chapter with 3.4K reads and 224 votes. You all have been so amazing and I am so excited to continue writing for you guys!
Speaking of continuing writing for you, the title of the sequel is...
going to be announced very soon! So stay posted!
Thank you again for being so sick. I love you all, stay alive |-/