Genevieve
I left Asher to process my words. I basically gave him an ultimatum. Either he realizes that Audrey will always see Anthony as her father; or he won't be apart of her life. Its tough love. He has to take responsibility for all that he's done and hope that she forgives him. We're all trying to do it. We were all apart of the attack- one way or another- and because of that, Audrey suffered several losses.
Walking into the forest, I followed Audrey's scent. I found her sitting against a tree. Her knees were pulled up to her chest; her head was resting on her knees; and her arms were wrapped around her legs. She looked so broken as her body shook from the sobs. I didn't know what to say; so I just sat next to her and gently pulled her to me.
She hiccuped and buried her face in my shirt. My heart broke with every sob that escaped her lips. I know that I can't make it better. I can't bring back her friends or Anthony. All I can do is hold her, give her some type of comfort. I wonder if this is what Jordyn felt like whenever I cried about my parents or about Audrey. There was nothing she could do, but rub my back and coax me not to cry.
I went through grief when I was Audrey's age. I lost my parents- she lost her father. But I don't want her to go down the same road that I did. I turned off my emotions and shut everyone out, twice. I hurt everyone around me. I don't want that to happen to Audrey. She has so many people who care about her. I can't let her push them away. I can't let her end up like me.
*FLASHBACK*
Its been exactly a year since Audrey was taken. A year. 12 months. 52 weeks. 365 days. And we have no leads. We have almost every pack looking for her. We've visited every single pack; trying to get some kind of information. And there's nothing.
Every day that passes by, diminishes the chances of finding her. I failed my daughter. She was taken; and only the Goddess knows what that man could be doing to her right now. I can't take it. I can't take the hurt anymore.
I was sitting in my office when I did it. I closed my eyes and flipped the switch. Just like last time, I felt everything just lift off of my chest. I was empty. And I embraced the emptiness. I succumbed in the emptiness. I welcomed it.
A small smile made its way onto my face. I didn't have a care in the world. I sat at my desk and grabbed a bunch of the notes that we made about the possible locations of Audrey. I started folding them into paper airplanes and threw them around my office.
There were so many notes. I would fold one up, throw it, then do the next one. It was like never ending. Until my mate comes into my office. "Hello, Asher" I greeted him before throwing the next airplane.
"What are you doing?" he asked, confused. I shrugged as I finished throwing the next plane. It blew with the fan and my mate caught it before it hit him. "Are these the notes?" he questioned after unfolding the paper.
I nodded in confirmation and started folding the next plane. "Stop that" he demanded. I simply ignored him and continued my plane-throwing/folding. "Eve" he said sternly. The paper crinkled as I did the last fold. "What the hell is your problem?!" he yelled as I threw the next plane.
He slammed his hand down on the notes, stopping me from making another plane. I sighed and looked up at him. "I don't have a problem. I'm completely content with life, at the moment" I answered while looking straight into his eyes.
When he registered what I've done, he slowly backed away from me. "Why would you do this?" he asked quietly. I didn't answer him, but I continued to stare at him. "You're not the only one that's hurting!" I flinched at the sudden change of his voice. "This is selfish! You've been down this road before! You've put everyone through this before! Did you even think about anyone else?!" he shouted.
I shrugged. "Everyone deals with it a different way. Jacobs goes on searches practically everyday. Shawn engrossed himself in learning Beta duties. Ryan focused on his Alpha duties. I haven't seen Jordyn in a month. Britney doesn't think about anything except her pregnancy. And you just stay in your office on the phone everyday" I stated. We've all drifted apart. We all were preoccupied in our own activities and such.
Asher sighed and ran his hand down his face. "What about Matthew? You're just gonna shut him out again? You're just gonna hurt him more?" he asked rhetorically. I frowned a little, but shrugged in response. Its not like he will remember it in the long run. "What about our kids? Did they even cross your mind?" he questioned.
I felt a pang of guilt. Asher smiled, but quickly wiped the grin off his face; in hopes I wouldn't see it. But I did. "Get out" I ordered. Its barely been an hour of my emotions being off; and he's already trying to get them back on.
Asher shook his head. "What would they think when Mommy yells at them?" he asked.
"Get out!" I shouted.
Of course he ignores me. "Are you just gonna let your kids believe that you hate them?" I shook my head and clenched my fists. I did my best to keep the emotions out. "Are you gonna let them grow up with this as a role-model?" he asked while motioning towards me. "You want our kids to be just like this? You want David to neglect his duties as Alpha and just throw around paper airplanes all day?! You want Gar to just turn off her emotions every time that things get hard?! Is that what you want?!" he roared.
I angrily shoved him. "You know the answer to all of that!" I shouted.
Asher shrugged. "Maybe I don't. I'm not sure if I know you that well. I didn't think you would ever do this again. But I was wrong about that" he stated.
"Mommy" a voice said quietly. Gar and Dave appeared from behind my mate. "Why are you and Daddy yelling?" Dave asked innocently. They're only a year old; but they look like they're three.
My mate sighed and squatted down to their height. "Go watch T.V. with Matthew. Mommy and Daddy need to talk" he informed them. They quickly nodded their little heads and walked out.
Asher turned to me with his arms crossed. "So what's it gonna be? This-" he motioned to me. "or your kids?"
*END OF FLASHBACK*
Needless to say, I chose my kids. I would've choose them over anything. I still would. That day, Asher helped me turn back on my emotions; and everything was different from then. We were still searching for Audrey; but we made time for our friends and our kids. I would occasionally break down, but Asher was always there. As Gar and Dave got older; we spent more and more time with them.
It hurt to have their birthday pass and wonder what Audrey was doing. If she even knew it was her birthday. Now I know.
Honestly, even though losing Audrey was so hard; I wouldn't change a single thing. What happened shaped who she is now. What happened changed all of us. I like how we all turned out, and I don't want to change it.
I was so deep in my thoughts that I didn't realized that Audrey had stopped crying. She was still trying to get her breathing back to normal, but no more tears were coming out of her eyes. "My parents died when I was your age" I told her quietly.
I don't know why I'm telling her, but the words kept pouring out of my mouth. "I thought the pain would never end. I was close to both of my parents. They were great rulers, but they were even better parents. I was the one that had to tell Matthew. He was six. It was the hardest thing I've ever done" I said honestly. Matthew asked about our parents several times. I told him stories that I remember from my childhood. He only had six years with them. It sounds like a lot, but its only a third of the time I spent with them.
"They were killed. I saw their bodies. The claw marks. Their limbs that were pulled off. Their hearts were ripped from their chests" I took a deep breath, remembering the sight. "It haunted me. But I had my friends and Matthew. I let them support me. Its like riding a bike for the first time. They held the seat until they thought I could steady myself. Then they let me go. I still fell, I still broke down. But as time passed it got easier" I explained. "I never forgot about it. But it didn't hurt as much"
Audrey nodded. Looking down at her, I noticed that her eyes were closed; however, she wasn't sleeping. "I know its not Asher's fault" she whispered. "Its just easier to blame him. Its easier to be angry than to cry about it"
I rubbed her back. "It might be easier, but its not better" I informed her.
She sighed. "I know" Audrey mumbled. We sat in silence, against the tree trunk. She was curled up next to me with her head resting on my shoulder. I didn't want to suggest going back because I wasn't sure if she wanted to.
So we just sat there. It was quiet, but I felt content. I was actually happy. I got Audrey to open us a little. Even if it wasn't that much, it is progress. And that's all I wanted.
___________________________________________________________________________
Aww... A little mother-daughter time.
This was kinda short just because I had Asher's point of view in the chapter before. But I wanted to show a little flashback of when Anthony still had Audrey.
And just to make this clear: DAVID AND RILEY ARE NOT MATES.
Sorry if you wanted them to be, but I have plans for the characters. And those plans do not include David and Riley as mates.
On the bright-side! I'm no longer sick! I can finally breathe like a normal person! And I don't have to take disgusting grape-flavored medicine. That stuff is gross.
Kayyyyzzzz Byeeezzz
~A.J.