Farida
The beeping sound wouldn't stop as Farida tried to sleep peacefully.
She groaned when she heard it beep again.
"Farida. Baby are you awake?" She heard a faint voice ask.
She tried to open her eyes but they just felt so heavy on her.
She let out another groan of annoyance.
"Should I call the doctor? Are you in pain?" The voice spoke again.
What? What doctor?
This time Farida tried harder and could only open her eyes halfway.
The whiteness that hit her made her wince and closer her again immediately.
How long has it been since she's seen light? It feels like forever.
"Farida, does it hurt too much?" This time Farida managed a shake of her head.
She tried to move her left hand when she felt a huge weight on it.
She hissed.
"Don't move baby. You're hurt." The voice said again now Farida could tell it was Adam.
But would he stop calling her baby. It does weird things to her stomach and heart.
Farida opened her eyes halfway. Wincing the whole time.
"Why am I here?" She managed to croak out. Her throat felt dry.
"Do you want some water?" Adam asked, avoiding Farida's question.
"Yes, please." She whispered this time. Her throat hurting her.
She tried to remember what happened last. Why was she here?
She looked around the room. A hospital. And next to her was a heart monitor.
That's what the annoying sounds is coming from.
Why was she in a hospital though?
Adam handed her a glass of water and Farida nodded in appreciation.
She tried to remember what happened to get her in here.
"You got into an accident." Adam's voice cut through her thoughts.
Farida gave him a questioning look in return.
"After you ran out of the house a car hit you." Adam said to her.
Farida did remember now.
The dinner with her parents. The confessions.
Oh Allah.
She ducked her head away in embarrassment. What could Adam be thinking of her now.
Ya Allah.
He sure hated her after she told him of what she has done.
"Hey" Adam called Farida. "I'm not leaving you. Especially not after what you told me."
This made Farida turn to look at him. Confused as ever.
"What?" She whispered loudly. Was he serious?
"I'm not leaving you. No way. You really don't know much about me if you thought for a second that I would leave you alone." Adam spoke to her softly. Holding her hand taught my in hers.
Her eyes wandered to the place he was holding. His thump was tracing her scars.
She gasped and tried to pull her hand away from his.
"Don't." Adam only held on to her tighter.
She looked away from their hands and looked back at Adam.
He was staring at her intensely. His expression torn between something.
"But-but I might not be able to give you children, how can you still stay with me." She told him truthfully. Not understanding why would he still stay with her.
Farida still didn't believe him then. Maybe he was just saying this because he felt sorry for her. Because she was in the hospital.
"No, no that doesn't matter Farida. What you can give is enough. And your love is more than enough for me."
Farida's cheek heated at Adam's word.
Adam's hand rose and placed it on her cheeks.
Farida's eyes widened.
She winced though when he touched her right cheek. A stinging pain could be felt.
"I'm sorry." Adam whispered gently to her but still didn't move his hand away.
And Farida didn't mind. She leaned into it.
"You know when I was a child I had a brother, an amazing older brother that any boy could wish for." Adam started speaking and Farida's eyes turned to his. He was still looking at her intensely.
"One day when we were together we got into a car accident. It didn't do much damage to me but to my brother- it killed him immediately." He spoke so softly, Farida couldn't help but to give all her attention to him.
It was like he was about to tell her a story. His own life story.
He was opening up to her.
"My parents blamed me for his death. You could say he was the perfect son any parent would want to have. And to be truthful they had every right to blame me. But it was after a few years that it got too much, because then it wasn't just the mental abuse it became physical too. They turned to alcohol and drugs they didn't know what they were doing anymore." Adam's eyes teared up at the memory.
Farida took away his hand from her cheek to her lap and covered it with her own giving it a tea sitting squeeze before she pulled her hand away and placed her hand on his cheek.
"I'm so sorry." She said sincerely.
Adam kissed her palm. "You don't have to be."
"Don't continue if it's too much, I don't want to see you in pain." Farida told him honestly.
She never wanted to see him in pain.
"No I want to continue. I want you to know me." He told her and Farida nodded.
She wanted to know him too. Every little tiny detail of him.
"So at that time being a teenager and completely lost I turned to self harm. " Farida gasped at that.
She couldn't hold it in.
Her eyes widened as she let out a gasp.
"W-what?" She spoke quietly.
Adam gave her a small wavering smile. Kissing Farida's hand once again.
"I turned to self harm. I cut almost every day. It hurt to be around my parents. It hurt seeing them like that. And it hurt more knowing that I was the reason for them being like this." Farida tears began to fall.
She couldn't held it in. Did he actually went through self harm too? Then he surely must understand what Farida had been going through too.
He might not leave her.
Silly girl don't get your hopes up. He doesn't love you. He doesn't care for you. Why wouldn't he leave? He might say this now but remember you can't even give him children. You are completely useless.
A voice inside of Farida's head said and Farida couldn't help but agree.
He didn't love her why would he stay.
She was stupid for even thinking he won't leave.
Didn't all her friends leave once they knew what she had done? Didn't they all judge her? What's different now?
Maybe because Adam was going through something familiar.
Pfffttt what familiar? He lost his brother and his parents abided him. You only did it because you wanted to get skinnier.
There is nothing wrong with being overweight. She was just selfish. She wanted to be skinny. She wanted to see her parents eyes shine with pride.
She was greedy.
"Shh don't cry for me baby." Adam wiped away her fallen tears. "Do you want me to continue?"
"Yes." She said trying to hold back her tears.
"After a while it got too much to handle. I wanted to die. So I planned it all. My suicide, my goodbyes all was planned." Farida held her sob in.
She saw so much pain in his eyes when he spoke and she felt so selfish for making him tell her all of this.
But, it was like she needed to know. She had to. Just like the breath she had to breath she had to know about his past too.
Because just like the breath she needed to live. She needed him too.
It hurt Farida so much knowing that this string man actually one time lost himself.
But then again we're all human. We are bound to lose control.
Farida thought grimly but listened back to Adam.
"I was going to throw my self off of a building with my wrists cut, I would fall and die and no one would care anymore. But the building that I planned to jump off of belong to Ali Al-Noury. Uncle Ali."
Farida's mind clicked at that. She always wondered who he was to Adam. They couldn't be real relatives their appearances were too different to be that.
"He saved me. He saved my life. And not just by not letting me die, no, he showed me a whole new world that i didn't know it even existed. He showed me kindness and respect. He showed me love and affection, but most importantly he showed me how it's like to believe, to have such a strong connection with God." He talked proudly of his uncle. Like he was his hero.
And he really was Adam's hero.
Farida smiled gently at him. She wanted to hug him so badly but with her leg hung up on a string and her left arm also in cast she couldn't really move.
"I stayed with him for sometime until I told him I was ready to go home. So he took me. But when we reached there the house was empty and we asked the neighbors of what happened." Adam closed his eyes tightly.
Farida could only do one thing at that time.
She took the hand that was on her lap and brought to her lips. She kissed his hand slowly. "I'm sorry."
"No it's okay. We heard from the neighbors that they died. They died from an overdose of drugs." A tear fell and Farida's hand reached out to wipe it.
She couldn't believe such a strong man was breaking down next to Farida.
He squeezed her hand.
"After that uncle Ali took me in. He treated me like his own son. Did you know that his family died in Syria?" Farida shook her head in answer. "From an army attack? They killed his family right in front of him.
"After he took me in I started getting to know more and more about Islam and after a year of staying with him. I converted to Islam." He smiled at that. And Farida smiled too.
She was unbelievingly thankful to uncle Ali. He saved him and he also brought him to her.
She reminded herself to thank him later. But most importantly she thanked Allah first. Because it was from the will of Allah that they were even able to meet.
Adam this time took a deep breath. He looked back at Farida and started talking again.
"I met Lucy then." Farida's ears perked up. His vices twists back in pain. "I met Lucy after it only being six months since I converted, she was a shy girl in our school, quiet and not talking much. She hated me. She used to say she hated me because I smiled a lot." He chuckled.
"I found her one day crying behind the school's back door, in the garden, I comforted her and from then on we kind of became friends. She skipped school a lot though and I couldn't take it anymore and told her to tell me what is going on, she had bruises everyday and when I asked she said it was because she was clumsy. I didn't believe her." He paused and looked away.
Farida truthfully didn't know how to feel about this. She was finally going to know who Lucy actually was.
And the funny thing is she wasn't so keen on wanting to know anymore.
"I suspected that she was getting abused at home, you know?" He looked back at Farida and tilted his head.
"Then what?"
Farida was undoubtedly curious and she needed to know everything.
Adam shook his head and smiled at Farida's impatience.
"But it wasn't. It was her leukemia. She was weak and she was getting weaker and weaker. Her dad didn't even help her and her mom had died long ago. She was alone. And I felt a connection with her. A protectiveness." Adam's eye was still down and didn't look up.
Farida was listening intently while Adam spoke.
Adam's eyes turned up to look up at her.
"We got married and after only three months she passed away. She had converted too. But I lost her due to cancer. She was gone in my life. It was six years ago." Farida's hand went up to her mouth to hold her sobs.
He lost Lucy to cancer. Her hand left Adam's and she looked away.
Ya Allah. Lucy has passed away to the one thing she hated the most in this world and yet she thought the worst of her.
We belong to Allah and to Him we shall return.
Farida quickly prayed under her breath.
Astaghfirullag. I seek forgiveness from Allah.
She avoided Adam's eyes. How much he could hate her now and it was understandable.
"I'm so sorry." She said again not looking into his eyes.
"It's ok-" Adam began to say but Farida cut him off.
"No Adam, it really isn't okay. I thought so badly of her while she passed away to the one thing I hated the most. I'm really sorry for what I have said. I can't believe I have said all those things about her. I shouldn't have judged so quickly. Ya Allah what have I done?" Farida rambled on feeling completely guilty of what she had accused Lucy of before.
"I can't believe I have said all those horrible things about your ex-wife. Someone who has passed away. Someone you love. I'm so sorry Adam and not only beaches of Lucy but because I thought of you as arrogant. You are so strong. Im so sorry." She ranted. Not even knowing what she was telling him her tears were streaming down her cheeks.
She felt so guilty.
"Farida listen, it's okay. It's in the past now. And I'm sorry I also said all those horrible things about you. I was just mad at you for assuming things on your own." Adam explained and Farida couldn't help but shrink more.
"I'm sorry again for assuming those things." Farida mumbled quietly.
"It's okay like I said it doesn't matter now." Adam told her truthfully.
She sighed and both fell into silence.
Farida was curious of something else too though.
"Why are you telling me this all now?" She asked finally. Telling Adam what kept nagging at her mind ever since he started telling her his story.
Adam looked straight into her eyes then gingerly kissed the hand the was in cast.
"I will tell you later. First I need to call the doctor and tell him that you're awake. I should've done that the second you woke up but I guess I was selfish and I wanted to tell you everything before everyone came." Adam smiled sheepishly at her.
She gave a small laugh in return.
He kissed her once again on her temple before leaving the room and go call for the doctor.
~
"Mama I am fine wallah, you guys don't need to stay here any longer." Farida tried to reason with her overly emotional mother.
"I'm so sorry binty(daughter) this was all because of me. I shouldn't have said anything. I'm so sorry." Farida's mom cried into her shoulder.
Farida's own eyes preambles with tears. "No Ma, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said all those words to you and Baba." Farida then looks over at her dad who was by her mothers side. "I'm sorry."
"It doesn't matter anymore. The important thing now is that you're okay alhamdulilah. You scared us so much." Omar says and Farida smiles at him.
"Yeah alhamdulilah." She replies.
"It's getting late and Yusuf and Noor are still waiting to come in." Adam interjects across the room.
The whole time he was there not saying a word but Farida noticed his stiff posture and his blank face.
"Okay habibti. I think we have held you enough, we will come again tomorrow inshallah." Halima said and kissed Farida's forehead.
"Yes get well soon dear." Omar agreed and followed Halima's steps as he also kissed Farida softly on her forehead.
They both said their Salams and walked out of the room.
The Noor and Yusuf came in. Noor immediately walked to Farida's side and held her hand tightly in hers.
"Oh Allah. Alhamdulilah you're okay Farida. You can't imagine how worried we were. This all feels like déjà vu. Oh Allah I can't believe you're okay. Alhamdulilah. I don't know what I would do without my best friend. Don't ever, ever do this to me again." Noor rushed saying everything in a hurry.
Farida chuckled lowly. "I'm good Noor alhamdulilah. You don't have to worry." Farida tried to reason with her best friend bit it didn't work too well.
A whole other scolding started again.
Noor's and Yusuf's visit soon needed as Salma and Ameen still wanted to come.
But Noor of course didn't go out before scolding Farida one last time for being so reckless.
Ameen and Salam's visit was a lot more quite than Noor's.
They stayed for a while too before visiting hours finished.
A nurse came in and ushered them out.
But both the nurse and Farida froze when Farida realized who the nurse was, her eyes widened.
"Farida?" Nurse Eman asked in surprise.
And all Farida could muster through her teary eyes and closed throat was a nod.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Assalam w alaykum wa rahmatullah
Hope you enjoyed this chapter inshallah!
I know you all might be disappointed that Adam still didn't congee but he will in the next chapter! ;)
I have a couple of announcements to make
First
There is only two other chapters left and it will be the end.
Of course there will be an epilogue and that's what I wanted to talk about with you guys,
I was think of doing two parts of an epilogue one with Farida's POV and another with Adam's. Of course between each of them there will be a Time distance. Meaning they will be happening in different time and different events.
For now it's only an idea but I wanted to console you guys so you could tell me how you feel about that.
Second
I was thinking about creating an ask.fm account so you guys can ask me any question you want. About books, updates or any other question about my life.
I would be more than happy to answer. So tell me do you think I should create an account or nah?
That's it!
Well also you guys can add me on facebook too. It's in my profile! :)
Sorry for the long authors note.
Hope you all liked this chapter and this book so far. It's so sad getting to an end but hey two more chapter and epilogue we still have some time!
LOVE YOY ALL
~Saya ❤️;)