Jonathan's POV:
What's the point in life? Why do we have to live our life to the fullest? Why do we even have to live? I don't see life as something to live for. I see it as a waste of time and death will just bring us happiness.
But I have to hide it all. Especially when I'm with my friends. It's just something that I'm used to. Pretend to be happy so that others don't notice my pain. I can remember feeling this way since I was a kid. I remember moving in with my foster parents and just losing the will of feelings.
It's just something everyone has to get used too. I don't think I have shown an ounce of sadness to my friends. Maybe I wanted to be strong for them. But whenever I'm alone I can feel the darkness seep inside. I break whenever no one is around.
I guess I need attention like a lost puppy. If I have no one I guess death would be the best option. That and pain. Pain is the thing that keeps me sane. I remember the first time I had cut myself. Just feeling the pain shot up my arm. It tells me that I'm an actual person.
It tells me that I have feelings and emotions other than pretend happiness or depression. It gives me the idea that I'm living and I could easily just take my life away. It could be easily done with just a slip of my blade on my wrist.
I just said goodbye to a man that I considered my brother. His name is Luke. I know he could tell something's happening but has no proof. He keeps asking if I'm alright but with the many lies I have told I said yes.
He came over with my other friend Marcel. He wanted to have just a guy's day out and we went to an arcade. We had fun, well more like I had to fake that I was having fun. But I know a tiny bit of my was enjoying it. We played so many games and got tickets.
I didn't want any of mine and they gladly took it themselves. I was waiting for them to exchange them when I saw a couple walking down the pier. I don't know why but I felt my heart ache in pain. It felt like I was missing a part of something and my heart said to follow them.
This was a strange feeling that I never felt so I followed them. They were holding hands and the girl was smiling at what the guy said. They ended off at the end of the pier and were staring at the sunset. They then looked at each other and kissed.
I looked away and I returned back to my friends. This feeling was just very strange and I wanted it to go away. I knew I wanted to head home as there was a way to get rid of it. My trusty blade. I'll just focus on the pain then the strange feeling I had felt.
I walked back to the arcade and I saw the guys just got little knick knacks that they had. We decided to head back to my home for some hot cocoa but I'm just counting the minutes til they leave. After an hour of just talking they decided to leave.
Now this is where I am breathing heavily as it's been a while since I've done it. They wouldn't leave me alone for a while as they tired me out that I fall asleep. I stumbly walk to the bathroom to get my blade. I keep it in a blue box and I clean it every time I use it.
I slowly take it out of the box and watch the shine from it. I put the blade softly on my wrist and with one swift move..... a trickle of blood slowly started to form. I smile at the pain it just gives me. I make another cut and another. Soon without realizing ten new cuts were formed with blood flowing out each one.
I look at the blood dripping down my arm and I knew this was my time. I know pain wouldn't last forever. I know this was just temporary pain that would last for a while but death would last forever. It will get rid of my feelings and I would just feel pain. Death is the best option.
I was about to make another cut when I heard a knock from the bathroom door that's open...... Wait a knock on the bathroom door?! I turn around so fast that I forgot that there was blood running down my arms. I turn around to see the shock brown eyes of my brother.
"Jonathan...... What the hell," Luke yelled as he rushed to my side.
I'm so shocked that he had come back. Didn't I make sure the door was locked. I'm pretty sure I locked it or did I?.... I don't even know anymore I guess the blood loss is getting to my head. I could feel a towel being put over my cuts and I groan at the sensational pain.
I don't even know what's going on anymore. Everything had just formed into one. I felt darkness seep into me fast and I enjoyed it. I could feel the hands of Luke on me trying to keep me alive, but what's the point I'm as good as dead.
I could feel myself being lifted and him panicking. He was saying something about a friend almost killing himself. I wonder who is he talking to. I heard an end of a call noise and I realized he called the police. I don't want to be saved. I struggled to say something but it just came out in groans.
I soon felt something watery fall on my face..... Is Luke crying? I then heard a sob and a Jonathan please last a little longer. I soon see a bright light and I felt warmth. I look to the light and I see my grandparents. My grandparents had took me in when my parents didn't want me.
When they died I was forced into foster care until Luke's parents had took me in. I remember meeting Luke and the closeness we had bonded with. I run to my grandparents and they give me a hug. I felt tears come into my eyes as I realized I finally felt happy.
"Mí hijo porque estas aquí," my grandma said. (My son why are you here)
"Ohh abuelita I missed you so much," I said as my Spanish and Italian side would always come out when I'm with them. (Grandma)
"I missed you to mí bebe but you shouldn't be here now," she said making me look at her strange. (My baby)
"Why I want to be here with you and Nonno," I said and he chuckled. (Grandpa)
"I know mí bambino but it's not your time," he said shaking my head. (My child)
"But porque," I said making them shake there head. (Why)
"Because you are destined to meet someone and you'll change life for the better," she said kissing my forehead.
"Please head back you're making Luke cry and he's been there for you," he said and I nod my head.
"Goodbye Abuelita and Nonno," I said giving them one last hug. (Grandma and Grandpa)
I turned around and I walked towards the darkness that I knew so well. I left the warmth of the light and entered the coldness of darkness. But once I stepped away from the light and into the dark I fell. I screamed as I fell as I don't know what's going on.
I soon landed on the floor and the light completely disappeared. I soon could hear a beeping noise. Where am I? I don't even know what happened. I feel like waking up but I feel so comfortable in the darkness. I just stay and listen to my surroundings.
I heard footsteps walking closer to me and I feel a hand touch my forehead. The hand was rubbing my head softly. Who is this person and what are they doing? I just stay awake instead of falling asleep just wanting to have a clue about this mysterious person.
"Good morning Jonathan you gave us a scare," a mysterious voice said and it was just so smooth.
"We lost you for a good five minutes before you miraculously came back to life," he continued and I just felt like reaching out to the voice.
"Well I'm going to be your nurse for the time and I'll take care of you," he said and I felt him just checking my vitals and then leaves.
Who was this mysterious person and why are they helping me? I have so many questions that can't be answered. Throughout the day my friends and family came over and wished me well. But I haven't heard from the mysterious man who is my nurse.
I know he comes in and he does his checks but he barely talks to me. I want to hear more of the melodic voice that soothed my ears. But it was late at night when I decided that I wanted to go to bed. I heard him walk in.
"Good Evening Jonathan," he said and I want to respond to him but I can't.
I'm to weak to wake up now so I could only just stay asleep and awake in my head. I cod hear him do his evening routes and just as he came in, he left. Now I'm by myself with so many unanswered questions.
~Two Weeks Later~
It's been two weeks now since my attempted suicide and two weeks I got to know my nurse without knowing how he looks like. He talked to me like I would respond to him. He would just start a conversation with me and yet I felt like I was answering him.
I don't know why but a new feeling came into my heart. It was a similar feeling that I felt when I saw the couple. I felt butterflies in my stomach whenever he talked to me. I felt like reaching out to him and pulling him to me.
I don't know what's wrong with me this is all strange to me. I have seen this feeling before. I remember seeing a different couple when I was younger and I asked Abuelita and Nonno about it. They said that they were in love. I asked what falling in love is.
They answered me that falling in love is having butterfly in your stomach when you're with you're soulmate. Your cheeks heat up and everything they say and your heart beats faster whenever they touch you. Am I in love with my nurse who I don't even know and yet want too.
"Jonathan I know you'll never here this but I've got to know you from your family and I know I told you about most of my problems. I can't help but fall in love with a man who is in a coma," he said making me feel shocked.
"How can I love someone who I barely know and whose in a coma? But I've took care of you. I made you smile sometimes when I talk to you. My heart beats faster whenever I stare at your face," he said.
I know that this was the day that I had to wake up. I knew I had to see the man whose fallen in love with me and I the same. I heard him walk closer to me and I felt his hand go on top of mine.
"I know that this is only works in fairy tales but I feel like this would wake up my sleeping Prince so I can stare at his beautiful blue eyes that I have read about," he said and soon I felt lips on top of mine.
This is surprising and shocking that I felt my self kiss back. I slowly move my hands to his neck and I could feel his hands rub my face softly and I just feel a feeling that I thought I lost long ago. I opened my eyes once the kiss broke and I stared into beautiful brown eyes.
I could study his looks and I could see that he was Asian. But that didn't matter to me he looked handsome. I felt myself blush at my thought and I see him smile softly. I guess he finally gets to see my blue eyes that he always wanted.
"Jonathan," he said as we stared at each other.
"Hello Mystery Man," I said as he never did say his name.
"Oh I never told you my name. My names is Evan," he said and I smiled at him.
"Well my name is Jonathan," I said and he just replied with I know.
I know this is the first time we officially met but I felt like I've known him for longer. He's been taking care of me and I.........
I love him for that.
I love him for everything that he's done for me. And I could feel that he loves me the same. I got to do the talking this time since he's been telling me a lot about him. I felt showing him my life is just bringing us together.
Is this what they were telling me about. That this was the person that I was destined to meet. I hope it is because now I feel happy. Not pretending to be.... I am actually happy for once and I want to show the world.
"Evan I love you too," I said making him smile big.
He just leaned in and gave me another kiss. I'm glad that they told me to come back because now this time I actually have someone to live for other than my brother and family. I have him and I want to make him happy. And it's a promise that I'm going to keep.
Hey guys wow here's another H2OVanoss. This was requested by Sapphireous so I hope this was what you wanted. I put a lot of thought into it and I think it came out okay.
Requests are still welcome please send me to them it could be any pairing you want. And I mean anything. Pair yourself with a Youtuber do a random ship that you don't usually see. I'm running out of ideas XD
Anyways I'm glad that I'm back again and with lots of love 💛
Dially
Brofish
Word count: 2456