Nico
I can't believe I just said that. Sure, it was in another language, but for all I knew he could have known fluent Italian! My Italian heritage always starts to show when I'm nervous. I hate it.
Will must know I like guys; he knows I was with Luke. He hasn't commented on it, luckily. Maybe he doesn't care. Either way, if he knew what I meant when I just said what I did, he would like me a lot less. It's not that what I said was inherently flirty, is just... I meant it in that kind of way.
But he's obviously straight.
I'm just so worried about everything. What if Luke finds me? What if Will decides he hates me and kick me out? What if I slip up? What if he already hates me? What if he finds out what I said to him? What if, what if, what if...
I feel sick.
I want to just lock myself away and cry. I doubt Will would let me though. He'd want me to explain. Then he'd lecture me, or just be disgusted. I wouldn't blame him. My old cuts start to hurt again and I grimace. Luke reopened some of them when he grabbed my wrists.
The memory makes me shudder. What would have happened if I didn't fight back? Or if he'd managed to overpower me? The thought chills me to the bone...
After taking a few moments to calm down, I enter the bedroom. I spend the rest of the day in there, trying not to think.