Chapter Thirty-Seven
They say that you’ve never felt the pain until you’ve felt the love. It’s true.
I run out of the campus immediately and I went to find my bike in the parking lot. I know that he’s following me but I don’t want to take noticed of him.
‘Psyche!’ he called and I unlocked the lock on my bike immediately.
He held my hand and I dodged his hand away.
‘Let go of me!’ I shouted and I moved my bike from him. He held it instead.
‘Psyche, I want you to listen to me.’
‘For what? So that I can hope for you again? So that you can hurt me again? ‘ I shook my head. ‘No, no I had enough!’
‘For once will you listen to me?!’ he shouted and he looked at me the way when he gets mad at me. I know it’s time for me to shut up.
‘You know…’ I took a deep breath. ‘I don’t want to hear whatever it is because when I listen to you I always end up hurting myself.’
‘Now look who’s stubborn!’
I scoffed at him.
‘I need you to hear me out.’ He started to calm down. ‘Come with me.’ he held my arm but I pulled it by force.
‘No!’
He held my arm back. ‘Do you want me to carry you?! Because I will!’
I shut up and I let him pull me inside his car and drive me out of the campus.
Along our way to the destination that I don’t even know we were both silent maybe we were both shock to what we said there. But that’s when I thought that almost everybody from our batch had heard what we said.
Cupid made a turn and he parked his car on the side walk. I noticed that he brought me to the church where I saw him—I saw my second chance. I let him pull me as he brought me to the choir loft that faces directly at the altar.
When he lets me go he screamed and punched the wall. I felt my own self shiver; it was so loud that I thought there’s an earthquake after shock.
‘Shut up! What are you insane?! We are in a church, you moron!’ I shouted at him.
He turned to me and his eyes were burning. I took a step back.
‘The priests might hear you.’ I said calmly this time.
He scoffed. ‘Their monastery is a hundred feet away from here. There’s no one in here except us. Now what else would you alibi to run away from me?’
I shook my head and I headed towards the door. ‘You’re insane.’
He blocked my way immediately and he locked the door. My heart started to pound as he threw me to the wall. I didn’t even feel the pain on my back when he did that. Maybe I was numb now after my heart was broken.
‘I will let you out, Psyche. But please listen to me first.’ He held both of my shoulders. A tear escaped from my eyes and I looked away from him.
‘I will let you go if that’s what you want.’
‘I’m hurt.’ I murmured. ‘You’re hurting me.’ I said. ‘You are always hurting me.’ Okay. That’s it, I can’t hold on to it anymore I’m gonna burst.
That was when he let me go.
‘I’m sorry.’ He breathed. ‘I’m sorry if I’m hurting you, Psyche.’ He kicked the chair of the piano. ‘I feel so stupid for doing things that I shouldn’t do to you. I’m sorry I got mad… but believe me I didn’t mean these things to happen.’
‘So everything I know was a lie.’ I said.
He turned towards me. ‘No. I did everything just to get close to you! You don’t know what crazy things I did just to be with you. You don’t how I have to get into drama club to get close to you. You don’t know how I have to pretend to like your sister just to get to know you. How I have to pretend to make a deal with you just to make you stay…’
‘How dare you use my sister? She loves you—‘
‘I love you!’
I felt like I swallowed my tongue.
‘When you thought I was in love with her, you were so wrong, Psyche. I was loving you.’
I looked away. ‘Don’t say that because you don’t mean that.’ I wiped my tears away and I started to the door. ‘I’m leaving.’
‘Tell me what else I should do to prove that my feelings for you are true?’ he asked and I stopped.
‘Number five: Make you fall in love with Me.’ he said. ‘Tell me that I’m wrong that you didn’t fell in love with me.’
I opened my mouth to say it as he looks cautiously at me. When I couldn’t say it he continued.
‘I know it sounds crazy but I followed the steps from the song “Back at One”.’ He laughed at the thought of it. ‘One: You’re like a dream come true.
I remembered when we met again here in this church. Our second chance.
Two: Just wanna be with you.
‘…You don’t know how I have to pretend to like your sister just to get to know you. How I have to pretend to make a deal with you just to make you stay…’
Three: Girl, it’s plain to see that you’re the only one for me.
I remembered the chocolate scene that we both had in their kitchen.
‘Where are the other chocolates?’
‘I gave it to some of my friends.’
‘But why did you left mine?’ I asked.
Four: repeat steps one, two, three.
‘Step number four.’ He said as he continues to look at me.
I frowned at him. ‘Number four…?’
He just faint a smile and he placed his hands in his pockets.
‘I’m just glad that God gave me you.’
Five: make you fall in love with me.’
‘You must really like that girl to tell her that you love her instead.’ I found myself saying.
‘Yeah, I do.’ He faced me and his seriousness overwhelms me. ‘I’ve been waiting for her for a very long time. But I guess she’s just shy to approach Me.’ he laughed at himself. ‘I was too shy to face her too.’
I shook my head and I covered my ears, then I felt him standing in front of me.
‘I never stopped loving her. And now I’m showing it.’
‘And if ever I believe my work is done, then I’ll start back at one.’ He said.
‘Stop.’
‘What will I have to do to make you believe that I love you?’
I covered my face with my hands and I sobbed.
‘I love you, Psyche. I love you. I love you. I love you—‘
‘Please just stop.’ I cried.
‘I would never get tired of saying that until you believe me. If I need to do all the five steps again, I will. I’ve waited long enough for you. Now I think it’s time that you should know.’
I felt his arms around me. ‘If you want more proof, I’ll show you… just… just give me a chance to prove you.’
I sighed. I let my head rest in his shoulders for a while.
‘Give me some time to think.’
‘Do you love somebody else? Tell Me so that I won’t have to wait.’ He said and I looked up to him in shock.
‘I thought you love me but then with just one—‘
‘Of course, I will not.’ He smiled. ‘Whoever that is I will not give up.’
Argh! Psyche, there’s the catch already, grab it you idiot! But why am I hesitating? Will something bad happen? We both knew that we love each other still I’m not sure if I should go through with it. Love is sure a great thing to know. But it can also be a pain in the gut.