Outside of Nate’s apartment was no better than the inside. My mind was still working in overdrive and all I could think was, ‘Oh shit’.
Finally, I cleared my head enough to hail Harry’s cab and get back to my house. I couldn’t go back to Brooke’s and with everything else going on, I decided that maybe I just needed to take a few days off and relax.
I didn’t speak a single word to Harry as he drove though he constantly asked me if I was alright. I found this to be a rhetorical question. My expression alone should have told him that I didn’t want to talk about it.
When Harry pulled up in front of my house, I practically jumped out of the car. I finally slowed down and remembered to breathe once I felt that I was safe inside my house. My mother had disappeared off to where ever so thankfully I didn’t have to deal with her. Psyche appeared as usual from the kitchen and looked at me with concerned eyes.
“Sweetheart,” she called rushing over and inspecting my face. “You are all red and flushed. What have you been doing?”
I didn’t answer her. I found that I couldn’t do anything but lock gazes with her as she turned my face from side to side.
“Perhaps you should lie down?” Psyche suggested. I nodded as I brushed past her not wanting to answer the questions I was sure would come later. I went into my plain room and jumped down on my bed but I didn’t feel the least bit tired.
I gazed up at the white ceiling and tried to sort my mind before Eros discovered I was home.
First, I had already dealt with the Brooke thing and though I was still depressed by any memory of her, I was more concerned about Nate. Nate had said that I could go and become friends with her again but was it really that easy? Maybe for some people but I had already become myself around her and what if she thought I was weird because I already know so much about her. Now our inside jokes will now be outside jokes. Now our memories together would be just one sided dreams.
I didn’t have to become friends with her again. As long as I was friends with Nate I could get updates on her relationship with Sean. That was one option and although it wasn’t very appealing, it was probably the one I would have to choose for now. Hopefully one day, I would be ready to try my relationship with her again.
And speaking of relationships, what about Nate and Lily? Just thinking about her made me groan out loud. I felt so guilty for kissing her boyfriend. And that kiss! What was that about? Sure Nate initiated it but I enjoyed it just as much as him which was completely wrong. Apparently this friendship between us had reached an unhealthy state if Nate was willing to make out with me without too much thought. Or maybe it was only a moment of weakness because of his fight with Lily and his insecurity about his wings?
I settled on that as the only explanation. What else would cause him to spontaneously kiss me like that? And like that too? His lips were so soft and even though I’ve been kissed before, it had never been like the way he did it. It was like he…cared; as if he actually cared about pleasing me rather than just using it for his own self gain, and had no other intention of doing anything else. It was nice. I ran my index finger over my lips and smiled to myself. I instantly frowned at where my thoughts had drifted too.
This was obviously way out of line and he had to know that. If Nate was meant to be my soul mate then Eros wouldn’t have assigned him to me. Eros told me when this job was forced upon me that I wasn’t allowed to fall in love on the job. Nate wouldn’t be my assignment if I was supposed to fall in love him.
With that realization, I sighed and shoved all my thoughts and feelings of the kiss and Nate out of my mind. Nate had Lily. I knew that I would never be able to be present in the same room with her again without feeling horrible; I would still do it because it was my job. I sat up on my bed and rubbed my eyes happy that I had all of that sorted out.
My bedroom door opened suddenly and Eros entered the room not appearing as angry as I expected. He came in and sat down on my desk chair. He silently studied me. I was stared at him as the silence filled the room. I fidgeted in my seat while Eros sat motionless and kept his eyes trained on me.
“What?” I couldn’t take his stare anymore.
“You’re back?”
I looked around the room wondering if he was serious. “I guess for a few days.”
“What happened?” I felt like I was being interrogated.
“I had to set up Brooke with her soul mate.”
Eros’s eyebrow shot up as if he hadn’t expected that. “Oh, you lost a dear friend?”
I mimicked his one eyebrow expression. “Yes.”
“I understand,” he sympathized but I didn’t believe him. “You know you are always welcomed here. I’m disappointed that you haven’t been by sooner.”
He was acting strange. Was that really all the punishment I got? Just one statement of disappointment? I seriously expected a lot worse.
“Sorry?” I supplied unsure of what he wanted from me.
“Hm,” he commented standing up from the desk and leaving the room. I stared after him really puzzled by his behavior but my brain refused to think about anything more. I decided to stand and follow him which I believed he wanted me to do anyway. Eros had walked into his office and the first thing I noticed once I joined him was that the Match Monitor in the same place and position I had left it in.
I furrowed my eyebrows at it believing that it was an illusion. It had been two months or so since I had last been here and the bird bath-like statue looked like it hadn’t even been touched. Eros sat behind his desk and proceeded to rifle through some files. He didn’t even acknowledge my presence.
“Have you been using this?” I walked over to the Match Monitor.
Eros nodded. “I’ve been checking up on you and your assignment.”
My whole body instantly froze and I closed my eyes preparing myself for the yelling and lecturing but none came. I peeked one eye open and glanced at Eros who was still working on some files as if I hadn’t even spoken.
I pained myself to ask the question on my mind. “What did you see last?”
Eros let the file in his hands drop against his desk. He folded his arms and met my eyes appearing to be very serious.
“What I saw was a slip up of professionalism.”
I winced suddenly understanding why he was acting strange and different to me.
“I did not know however,” Eros continued. “That you lost your friend causing you to be more vulnerable.”
I sighed. “I’m sorry. For the record, he grabbed and kissed me and I was the one to end it-”
“But not fast enough Peyton,” he interrupted very sternly. I felt tears prick my eyes; my natural reaction whenever I was being yelled at or corrected by my grandfather. “You should know better than to have this young man going after you. I should not need to remind you that you have duty to him and ‘hooking up’ with him is not part of that.”
I crossed my arms over my chest and put my head down in order to hide my tears. I hated showing him that he had this kind of authority over me. “I know,” I said after a minute.
“Slips up like this cannot happen in our line of business. You do realize that you could trick that poor boy into liking you in a way that makes you feel great without even noticing. Do your job and do it right!”
I glanced up trying to widen my eyes to they wouldn’t be as wet when I looked over at him. “Eros, I hate this job. I always have and I don’t want to this ‘business’ whenever you retire. I know about my little curse. You never let me forget! I know I can force my feelings onto others so if I like him then he will like me back the only problem is: I don’t like him like that!”
“Obviously you must and not realize it.”
“Why do I always have to be the one to initiate the attraction? Why can’t one guy out there like me on his own?”
“There is a guy out there,” Eros assured using a gentler tone. “He won’t be your assignment though.”
I tried not to show my frustration. “It won’t happen again.”
“Good girl.”
I left the office too irritated to say anything else. I didn’t want Nate to have feelings for me outside of friendship. Yet since he seemed to, I didn’t want them to be mine. Having Cupid’s blood entitled me to mirror my emotions onto others even if I didn’t know what those emotions were or even if I didn’t want it to happen.
Dinner came quickly but I didn’t want to be around Eros so I decided to skip out on it. Psyche promised to save some leftovers but I found that I wasn’t very hungry anyway. I stayed locked in my room until I heard them go to bed. I wasn’t sure if they were sound sleepers or not but I figured that if they heard noise, they would know it was me.
I opened my door and tip toed over to Eros’s office. I wasn’t being quiet to be sneaky, I was being polite. Inside the office, I headed straight over to the Match Monitor. After checking to make sure that it was plugged in, I stated Nate’s full name and waited for the image to appear.
The water rippled and the image of Lily and Nate appeared. They were both sitting on Nate’s couch with quite a bit of distance between them. Lily had her arms crossed over her chest as she listened to what Nate was saying.
I only caught the end of his sentence, “…then the afternoon got kind of crazy after that. I suppose what I’m trying to say is that I was wrong for asking you to move in with me so soon. We have the rest of time together and I should not be one to rush it.”
There was a small silence. “Thank you for respecting my decision. I accept your apology.”
Nate looked pleased as he scooted closer to her. At least he was patching things up with Lily. I ran a hand through my hair relieved that one thing was working itself out. Then without saying anything, Nate leaned forward and kissed Lily. I shook my head thinking about how my lips had been in Lily’s position a few hours ago and yet, she would never know that.
When he broke the kiss, he looked at her expectantly. She smiled and whispered sweetly, “What was that for?”
I sighed and splashed the water unable to watch anymore. I sat down in the nearest chair and stared at the wall unable to form a coherent thought.
“Wondering what he was doing?” Eros’s voice suddenly emerged from the doorway.
My hand reflexively flew to my heart startled. “I was making sure that I didn’t ruin their relationship.”
Eros nodded approvingly and entered the room. “I didn’t mean to be so harsh on you.”
“I know.” I kept my eyes downcast.
“I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”
“I know,” I repeated suddenly feeling tired.
Eros sighed knowing that I was getting annoyed with him. “I have your next date ready to meet you at the Valentine’s Day Ball.”
I looked up at him wide eyed. “Oh my goodness! That’s coming up!”
“Very soon,” Eros agreed. “It’s my holiday and you know every Cupid has to be in attendance.”
My hand flew to my forehead. “Man! Who’s my date?”
“It’s a secret,” Eros whispered with a clever smirk. I looked up at him unbelievably.
“Haven’t there been enough secrets?”
Eros shook his head, a playful smile on his lips. “There are never enough secrets in the world.”
He was more wrong than he would ever know but I didn’t correct him. I stood up as a felt a yawn overcome me and I excused myself to my bedroom.
“Sleep well,” Eros called after me. “I love you!”
I sighed knowing I had to say it back but didn’t feel in the mood to do so. “I love you too Grandpa.”
I saw his smile drop from his face before I left the room to return to my own. When I rested down on my pillow, it didn’t take long for me to drift into a dreamless sleep.
I dreaded the day when I would go back and talk to Nate. Maybe I could catch him when he wasn’t alone…
______________________________________________________________________
Author's Note: How is everyone enjoying the story so far? I thank you all for your votes! They mean a lot to me and show me that you readers are out there. It means a lot! :)
Read this chapter and part of the last chapter in Eros's point of view in chapter 23 of Cupid Collections found on my profile!