Connor hadn't realized how long he was looking at Troye's diary for, because before he knew it, the door to the bedroom swung open - revealing a worn out Troye. Connor scrambled to hide the Diary under the bedsheets as Troye walked further into the room.
"You're up." Troye smiled, throwing his jacket and keys on the desk chair. "Marcus and I carried you up here before I left" Troye made his way over to his boyfriend and sat down next to him. "You seemed really tired, babe. Why don't you head back to bed?"
"Okay" Connor sighed, getting comfortable in Troye's bed. "But before I do, I wanted to tell you something."
"Oh?" Troye stopped what he was doing and turned to Connor, giving him his full attention.
"You know how we're doing this whole 'no secret thing'?" Connor asked, hoping that maybe he could break Troye into telling him what the secret he was writing about is. Troye looked a bit nervous as Connor spoke those words, but he nodded his head all the same. "Well, I have a secret that - I guess - I should tell you, that way I'm 100 percent secret free" Troye gave Connor a look, signaling him to go on and tell Troye what the secret is.
Connors entire plan was to tell Troye something that wasn't really a secret, more or less a lesser known fact about him - in hopes that Troye will crack and admit that he too has a secret.
"You know that waitress, Grace Anne?" Connor started playing with the blanket as he spoke. "Her and I use to date. And I know this isn't truly a big secret, but now I'm secret free" Connor smirked, and the funny thing was - he wasn't lying at all. He was telling the truth in order to get Troye to tell the truth.
"I already knew that, silly" Troye laughed, messing up Connor's hair as he spoke. Troye got out of the bed and made his way to the closet, and began the process of getting his pajamas on.
'So, do you have any secrets to tell me, Troye?" If Troye denies that he does, Connor is going to have to pull out the big guns and tell him he did some snooping.
"n-no" Troye hesitated, as he began to unbutton his shit. "secret free, remember?" Connor rolled his eyes and looked at Troye - he wouldn't crack.
"Can I ask you something?" Connor asked, never giving Troye the time to answer. "Why are you lying to me?" Troye was about to retaliate, tell him that he wasn't lying - that is until he turned around to see Connor holding up his diary.
"Connor..." Troye warned, narrowing his eyes at the boy. "Where'd you get that?"
Connor didn't answer, instead he began to recite the words on the page; "Entry 29; Dear Diary, Label me the world's worst boyfriend" Connor began.
"Connor... stop" Troye warned a second time, but instead Connor kept going.
"Connor and I had just been watching Netflix downstairs, so I took the time to talk to him about how much he means to me. How much I trust him" Course, it was funny seeing connor reading about trust even though he betrayed Troyes and looked through his Diary.
"Connor please" Troye begged, walking over to the boy.
"Troye wait, this is my favorite part: He then stated that we have to be secret free, which I would be totally okay with if I didn't have a secret of my own" Then, Connor slammed the journal shut and looked at Troye. "Secret of my own? Troye?"
'Connor please... It's not that big of a deal. Don't worry about it" Troye tried to reassure Connor, but ultimately he failed.
"Don't worry about it? Troye, it says that I was going to be heartbroken! It says that you'd be the worst boyfriend ever! Explain that"
"Connor, we both know I over react too much! It isn't that big of a deal, trust me" Troye explained, wishing Connor would just drop the subject and move on. The fact is, Troye is right. It isn't a big deal and it definitely shouldn't be something to get in a fight over. But Connor wasn't going to let it go.
"if it isn't that big of a deal, then why can't you tell me?" Connor was beginning to get extremely irritated with Troye and this damn secret.
"Because I can't, Connor! What part of that don't you understand?" Troye flung his hand up in the air, trying to cool down and not raise his voice at Connor. He could not believe they were fighting over something a simple as this - and the secret really wasn't much of a big deal at all.
Connor knew Troye wasn't going to crack, so he fell desperate and decided to pull out the big guns. It could make or break them.
"tell me or I'm leaving" Connor stated softly, barley audible. But Troye still heard, he heard every heart breaking word Connor just spoke.
"Connor please" Troye begged, trying to get his boyfriend to understand how important it is to not tell him this secret.
"tell me, or I'm leaving" Connor repeated, looking directly at Troye's blue orbs as he spoke. After a couple of minutes of silence, Connor nodded his head and began to pack up his things.
"Connor wait" Troye sighed, grabbing Connors wrist to stop him from leaving. "why don't you trust me?" tears were threatening to spill from Troye's eyes as he looked at Connor.
"because we promised to never keep secrets, Tro! And to go and read your journal that informs me you have some sort of secret that could potentially make you the worst boyfriend ever?!" Connor was infuriated, when really - he had no right to be.
"Fine, Connor! Let me be the first to admit that I over react way to fucking much, yes. So that was an overreaction! You wanna know what the dam secret was? Well fine! I was planning on getting you a new fucking car, Connor. And I wanted to keep it a secret from you because Lord knows you wouldn't allow me to get it if I straight up told you! You never want me to buy you anything, but I really wanted to get you this - because let's face it, your current car is shit. So maybe next time you should just trust me when I say I can't tell you, Connor! And if anyone here shouldn't be trusting people, it should be me! You read my damn diary dammit!"
Connors jaw dropped and an immediate wave of guilt flew over him. Troye was trying to surprise Connor with a car, he wanted to do something nice for Connor, yet Connor just had to fuck it all up. He didn't know what to say other than apologize.
"Troye, I'm s-sorry" Connor whimpered, holding back his tears with the exception of one. "You had every right to react that way. I was being an ungrateful, nosey bitch and I'm sorry. If anyone' at fault here, it's me. I take the blame one hundred percent. " Connor gave a halfhearted smiled to Troye then turned around. "bye"
"Where are you going?" Troye inquired. "Connor, I'm mad, yes, but by no means do I want to break up over this. Yes, we've broken up over something stupid, but I don't want to make that mistake again." The tears that were originally threatening to pour out of Troye's eyes had finally burst into waterfalls down his cheeks.
"Tro... No no no don't cry" Connor turned back around and grabbed Troye's face, using his thumb to wipe the tears.
'it's just, I care about you so fucking much Connor, and I know I already said this, but I feel like I don't tell you or show you enough. I wanted to get you this car because I care about you and your safety. Connor I worry about you and I'm just - Ugh Connor. You're the best thing that's happened to me and I can't lose you. I refuse to lose you" Connor didn't reply, instead he engulfed Troye into a tight hug, refusing to let go.
"Troye, I don't need a car to know how much you care" Connor whispered into Troye's neck. "the words alone are enough."
"I know, I just want you to be safe. And the car you have now is a piece of shit and I just -"
"This is about more than a car, isn't it?" Connor began to finally crack down on Troye's weird behavior. "Troye, this secret you were keeping isn't just about the car, is it? There's something more." Troye just nodded his head. Connor was right.
Yes, a part of this secret Troye was keeping was about surprising Connor with a car - that much was true, but the second half wasn't as clear. The second half Troye didn't write about in entry 29 of his journal, but rather in section 21. Connor skimmed over it, never thinking twice about it. The secret was big, in fact, it had the power to end everything. It wasn't like Troye was cheating on Connor, no it was the exact opposite. But Troye feared, rather he knew, that Connor probably wouldn't understand. He'd say that it's crazy and too early. He'd say that Troye didn't know what he was talking about. But that would be something he's wrong about. Because, damn, it hit Troye like a football to the face when he was least expecting it - and he can't seem to get back up.
"Tell me, Troye. What's your other secret?"
"Promise you won't leave? Because you're scared?" Troye inquired. It was a big commitment, yes, but Connor was sure that whatever this secret was, it wasn't worth him leaving the one man who truly cares form him.
"I promise, Troye boy. I promise I won't leave you" Troye smiled as he pulled away from Connor. He took a deep breath and spoke four words that would truly, change almost everything;
"I'm falling for you"
__
A/N
Heyo - before you say anything about how 'it's too early for love' listen; they knew each other for quite some time now, but they've only been dating for like a month and a half (if you count the month they were dating before the break up)
Also, if you;ve noticed in this fic - When Troye feels emotions, it's like BAM right in his face. So yeah
So shut up, it's perfectly normal for Troye to be FALLING for Connor. No, he isn't IN LOVE with Connor yet, rather he's FALLING IN LOVE with him
That's all
Love you lovies xx