"You do realize that you're not allowed to die on me right now? Not yet," I hear a familiar voice coming from behind me. I pick myself up and stare at the figure in front of me, "is this real?" I can hear his giggle but I can also hear screaming, crying, my chest hurt like somebody is punching me all over it. I feel like I've been stuck in a movie scene when I hear a song coming from the radio of the car that crashed into me.
I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel
Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough
I look at the place where the screams are coming from and as I move towards it, I can feel my heart shattering in pieces. That's me, my body is laying on the street, there is Dinah holding Lauren back as she is crying in her arms, "don't you dare Y/N, don't you dare die on me." I hear Camila say as she is pushing her hands in my chest, her lips land on mine as she blows some air inside me, I can feel them, I can feel her lips.
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life
"I am not studying medicine for nothing you bastard, I want to make you proud, it was a surprise for you, surprise because you inspired me to become something, don't you fucking die on me now." She screams, tears streaming down her face, I can hear the peramedics coming, they rush to my side but all I can do is think about the person who hit me, is he or she okay?
"There she is," I hear a voice of my father behind me, his finger pointing at the girl sitting on the pavement. She is covered with blood, Normani and Ally are trying to comfort her, I can see Lauren giving her a death glare but all I can feel is sorry for her.
All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see
I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
"I don't think I wanna die," I say to no one in particular and I can feel a hand on my shoulder.
"You're not supposed to, but you're still stuck between life and death, does that make any sense to you?" He asks and I shrug my shoulders, I move towards my body again, looking at it weirdly when they start to shock me, I can feel it how my body jumps up and falls back on the cold concrete beneath me.
"It's taking them way too long, I am more dead than I am alive in this exact moment," I whisper quietly.
"I am proud you know? I am really proud of you but right now, I would like to punch you so badly, why do you have to jump into conclucions everytime, why can't you just stop look at her and let her explain. You can still leave her afterwards, but look what running away brings to you. She was sick, still is, you're laying there almost dead, look at her Y/N, is that how you want her to be for the rest of her life? Stop with this stupid childlish game and start fighting." I can feel him pulling me away from the scene, I am grateful for that because I don't know how much time I could watch myself falling apart, covered in blood, nothing hurts more than wathcing the girls crying over me.
"I trusted you when you told me you wouldn't leave us again," I hear Camila's voice but I don't see her anymore all that I can see is white, everything is white all around me. I hear myself asking a question, "where are we?"
"Somewhere where nothing exsist, no pain, no love, no feelings, everything is just, not important."
"I don't want to be here," I get out quietly.
"Where do you want to be?"
"Home, I want to be home dad. I missed you so bad. I want to stay wherever you are." He starts shaking his head, his hands suddenly land on my shoulders as his eyes look deeply inside my soul.
"You'll have to learn how to miss me sunshine, because I am not coming back there and you're not coming up here, you're way too young. Go back and fix things, your mom is worried, they are all at the hospital right now and you keep slipping away from them. When the doctor feel like they have you back you slip away into this hole again. I love you daughter and there is nothing I would rather do than hug you again and tell you that everything is going to be alright. But this? This is just in your head, you painted me with your mind that's why we are talking, you don't know what is waiting there for you if you give up, but you do know what is waiting there if you wake up. Fight my sunshine, I promise we will see eachother again if you really need me, find me in your dreams. It's time to go now, I love you daughter." I close my eyes in pain that shot through my body, I feel myself shaking as the visions starts to fade away, it feels like something or someone is pulling me back. I take a deep breath and close my eyes, letting go of my fears for once as I relax.
I hurts, everything hurts, the doctor I've been working with this week is opening my eyes and I try so hard to follow the light but I can't do it.
"So?" I hear Susan ask.
"So, it looks like she is alive, she is somewhere but not here right now. Everything is working as it should be, her ribs are healing, the wound on her head is healing perfectly, I don't know what kind of effect will it have on her life, we'll see that when she wakes up, her broken arm is healing too, the scar on her left side next to her eye is not as scary as it was before, I can't give you anything else right now Susan."
"How can I tell them that? How can I tell them that her body is here but she doesn't seem to be? How can I tell them that they can't see her yet, it's been two weeks dr. Loyd."
"Listen to me very carefully, you might be the boss Susan but she is one of the best doctors here, I am going to do everything that's in my power to save her and bring her back, but she needs special treatment in here. I called my good friend from Australia and he'll be here tomorrow, we'll work together, he will work especially on her, don't test my waters because I might be the doctor you don't want to lose here, but my patience is running low."
"I know I am sorry, but Lauren, she is my patient and you know her, she is here every day, sitting on the same chair, her friends told me that she is not even sleeping anymore, one or two hours per day is not enough, she just wants to see her. For a few minutes please?"
"I'll see what I can do, until then get out and don't come back without my permission." I hear her say sternly and loudly as the door opens and close behind Susan. "It's going to hurt for a second but you know I have to do it, I know you're here Y/N, I have never seen someone fighting as hard as you were. For a second I thought that I was going to lose you, but you came back several times. You're not even human anymore, angels are probably already counting you as one of them. Sleep well doctor, I'll see you soon." She says before her hand squeezes mine and leaves after that.
Dr. Loyd's Pov:
I am standing here talking to a nurse when I see her, black hair, green eyes, tired body, exhausted soul, she stands in front of her chair, the chair that is occupied today, but she doesn't move away she just stares at the lady sitting there, the woman seems to get the hint or maybe she was just annoyed and moves to sit on the other chair.
Lauren throws herself on the chair sighing deeply as her friend, Dinah I assume sits down next to her, they both seem pretty tired. Dinah squeezes Lauren's hand softly, giving her some sort of comfort but the green eyed lady doesn't seem to notice it anymore.
I walk towards them, a bit worried about the girl, after all she is not in the best condition right now. "Are you okay?" I ask her but she keeps her head down, looking at her worn out shoes she tries to reach them but she sighs deeply when she doesn't succeed and almost falls on her head.
"She is a bit off lately, her girlfriend is in coma, it's a lot to take in." The girl whose name is Dinah says, I shouldn't be worried about her she is not my patient after all, but I think that this is harder on her than her friends want to admit. Lauren stands up and moves towards the bathroom, Dinah offers to go with her but gets rejected instantly.
"She is probably going to cry her eyes out and come here smiling like a child. It's an act to keep us satisfied when in reality it really doesn't it makes us worried as fuck," she breathes out and I sit down next to her. After a while she sees the other woman walking towards her and I hear her say, "go and deal with her, I am sick of it." Dinah walks towards the bathroom slowly like she is preparing herself for the worst.
The pretty girl with long brown hair throws herself on the chair next to me, her hands on her knees as she stares at the wall in front of her. I can see her breathing has changed, her heart is beating faster, I don't hear her cry, I wouldn't even notice it if I didn't look up at her. She is staring right in front of her, her hands on her knees, the hot tears slowly falling down on her shirt. I don't know what comes over me as I extand my hand and wipe the tears away.
This chocolate brown eyes are now staring right into my lonely soul and I can't even move. My hand slowly reaches over towards hers, I have no idea what I am doing, whatever it is I shouldn't be doing it but she looks so broken. She squeezes my fingers with hers and she sighs deeply.
"She'll be fine you know?" Her eyes are glued to me now, "how do you know her? How do you know that?"
"I am her doctor, she is going to make it I promise, I will work as hard as I can to keep her here, to keep her around. After all she is the best doctor here and working with her has been nothing but the best thing I ever did." Her eyes are still glassy but she looks at me with hope inside them.
"How is she? You know as a doctor? She inspired me to become one and I am going to get my diploma soon, I wanted her to be there it was a surprise for her." She stumbles over her own words, stutters something that I can't quite understand and smiles at me.
"Watching her work is just, she is amazing, I was so glad that I got her, we've only been working together for a week but she, God she is different. I am going to make sure, that she wakes up, she will be cheering on you in the crowd along with me if you'll let me," I don't even know if I was flirting with her because I am out of practice, but everything about her was fascinating to me, I wanted to know more and I wanted to punch myself for the thought that was running around my head, that maybe it was meant to be, maybe Y/N had to go through this so that Lauren can realize what they have and I can meet someone as special as Camila after this long years.
We can hear someone clearing their throat and as we look up we see Dinah and Lauren staring at our intertwined fingers, I pull away slowly, Camila seems sad but I shake it off.
"Did we heard right? You're Y/N's doctor?" Dinah asks and I nod, they all look at me with the looks that I know can't bring anything good, I try to stand up and move but Lauren moves in front of me.
"Please, five minutes, that's all I want." I look at her green eyes and I see something in them, something that makes me weak, soft, without thinking I find myself nodding, her eyes light up like fireworks in the sky and she pulls me in a hug.
"Five minutes Lauren, not a second more she needs rest." The girls don't question it when I call her by her name, she just takes my hand in hers and leads me towards the door. I open it for her and I can hear her gasp as she sees the amount of machines arouns Y/N's bed, it looks bad, but in fact it isn't I am just making sure that everything is alright with her.
Y/N'S Pov:
I want to move, I want to stop living in the dark, I want to see colours, I want to see green. I hear the doors are opening, maybe now it's my time to try to let them know that I am here I am alive. Someone gasps at the sight, maybe something is really wrong with me.
I can hear the person coming closer and I feel something so weird erupting in my stomach, could those be butterflies, wait a minute I remember that smell, "Baby," I remember that raspy broken voice too. Lauren, oh God how I missed her.
"Look at you, how can you be so broken?" She breathes out as she moves closer, inside my mind I am begging her to come closer as close as she can. I start wondering about how her lips taste, how good it feels when she hugs me or just touches me. I want to feel her so much closer.
Something moves again beside me and I want to move, open my eyes, say anything but nothing, all I do is nothing, it feels like I am trapped inside my own body. I feel the weird feeling again as she touches my hand, goosebumps are probably all over my hand now but I can't really feel them.
"Your skin responds to me so quickly love, why can't you do the same? Come back to me baby," her voice cracks, I can feel her squeezing my hand, this feels so good, so right. Lauren, I want to hug you and hold you so badly.
"I haven't been sleeping for this two weeks, I was sitting on the chair in front of your room or I was in my room practicing this," she breathes out, two weeks? I've been out for two weeks? It felt like a few seconds to me.
We both lie silently still in the dead of the night
Although we both lie close together we feel miles apart inside
Was it something I said or something I did?
Did my words not come out right?
Though I tried not to hurt you
Though I tried
She sings, it's still hard to understand her but I do, she is getting so much better and I want to be there to watch it, to watch her change, to watch her get better, but then it hits me like a train, she has someone, that guy, she has him to watch her grow. I am just a girl she used to know now.
I listen to our favorite song playing on the radio
Hear the DJ say love's a game of easy come and easy go
But I wonder does he know?
Has he ever felt like this?
And I know that you'd be here right now
If I could have let you know somehow
I guess
She is crying now, she is crying so hard I don't see her but I hear it in her voice, I feel it on my hand as her hot tears are falling down, she pulls my hand towards her lips and kisses it before she starts singing again.
Though it's been a while now
I can still feel so much pain
Like a knife that cuts you the wound heals
But the scar, that scar remains
I know I could have saved a love that night if I'd known what to say
Instead of makin' love we both made our separate ways
And now I hear you found somebody new
And that I never meant that much to you
To hear that tears me up inside
And to see you cuts me like a knife
I guess
She is not holding her tears back anymore, she cries loudly and all I want to do is tell her that I am here, that she didn't lost me. I can feel a single tear escape my eyes when I hear those three words, "I love you," that's it, the tear is rolling down my face now and she noticed it. She noticed it because the last thing I know are her soft fingers wiping the tear away, her head pressed on my forehead, her lips on my cheek as she says, "when you'll be ready, I'll be waiting baby. I've got you love."
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So I wanted to post this up tomorrow, but I guess I am in a good mood so here you go :)
Have a nice day lovely readers :P