Without wings or knowledge of how to drive a car, Tabbris was reduced to walking. He didn't make it back to Bartholomew's until morning. When he arrived he was ushered immediately into Bartholomew's office where Bartholomew himself stood impaitiently waiting.
"Where were you?" Bartholomew asked irritated. "Where's Luna?"
"Dead," Tabbris replied. "Malachi killed them all."
Bartholomew was silent. He narrowed his eyes at Tabbris. "But not you."
"I can defend myself, unlike your assistant and her guards," Tabbris told him evenly.
"What are you trying to say?" Bartholomew asked, daring Tabbris to speak.
"Nothing," Tabbris replied expressionlessly.
Then Tabbris got a headache of sorts. It hit him like a train. He started to panic and he didn't know why. He needed to be somewhere. He had to. He began pacing around the room, walking in frenzied circles. Bartholomew stared at him confused.
"What are you doing?" Bartholomew asked.
Tabbris ran a hand through his hair and ran to the doors. The two new guards stopped him.
"Move," Tabbris ordered through gritted teeth. "I have to go."
"You're not going anywhere," Bartholomew said menacingly. "Sit down!"
"Are you going to stop me Bartholomew?"
"Yes," Bartholomew replied glaring at him.
"Then I will enjoy seeing you try," Tabbris said with a smile.
He flicked his wrist and Bartholomew flew across the room and crashed into a wall. He turned to the guards and flicked them easily away from the doors.
Bartholomew laughed, deranged, on the floor.
"You always were an idiot," Bartholomew said still laughing. "You still don't know do you?"
Tabbris turned to him itching to leave, but dying to know what he had to say.
"Know what?" he demanded.
"What Naomi did." Bartholomew smiled. "Your reprogramming. You're just another pawn, Tabbris!"
Tabbris turned away from him and walked out the door. He couldn't wait any longer. He had to go.
"Tabbris isn't even your name!" Bartholomew shouted after him.
Tabbris ran to the elevator and pressed the button multiple times willing it to go faster. When it reached the ground floor, he practically fell out and sprinted to the door. He walked out into the outdoor parking lot of Bartholomew's building and walked around holding his head in his hands. He needed to be somewhere. He had a responsibility, and he had an overwhelming feeling he was failing. Then it came to him. It struck him like lightning. Kevin.
He opened his wings painfully. He had no choice. He flew instantly to the bunker where he knew Kevin was. When he arrived, he slammed into the cement of the bunker's entry. He writhed on the floor in pain while he gasped for breath, and felt as blood dripped down his face and body. He looked over to the library, gritting his teeth. Kevin's cauterized eyes stared back at him. Tabbris closed his eyes and slammed his fist into the ground. He had failed. He didn't know why, but he knew he had failed.
Dean was already there shaking Kevin's dead body. He barely glanced at Tabbris when he appeared. Dean's face had a few stray tears falling from his eyes. He finally stopped shaking Kevin and stood up slowly. His face was contorted in rage. He ran over to the injured Tabbris and kicked him hard in the stomach.
"What the hell do you want?!" he yelled.
Tabbris buckled at the kick and slowly rose to his feet. He held on to the map table for support.
"I was...just trying to help...Kevin," Tabbris replied between breaths.
"Why?!" Dean interrogated.
"I don't know. I...it was my job."
"Like hell," Dean spat. "Kevin was my job. And I messed up."
Dean calmed down and sat at the table holding his head in his hands.
"Who did this?" Tabbris asked.
"Sam...well the angel in Sam. Whoever that is."
"I thought it was Ezekiel," Tabbris said confused.
"No. How didn't you know?" Dean asked turning on him. "Can't angels tell who other angels are?"
Tabbris replied reluctantly, "I didn't know Ezekiel or whoever must have been possessing Sam."
"I could fill a room with things you don't know," Dean said bitterly.
Tabbris fell back to the floor and stayed there. He didn't have the energy to stay up. Using his destroyed wings had taken a tole on him. He had ripped them up even further, but he didn't care. About any of it. He had failed. Kevin was his job and he had failed. That failure felt worse than anything Tabbris had ever felt. Worse than the fall, worse than wandering around lost, worse than any failure he'd had with Naomi. It was made even more terrible by the fact that he had no idea why.
Dean didn't move to help him. He went to Kevin's body, picked him up gently, and took him outside. Tabbris didn't know what he was going to do with a dead body.
***
Dean returned hours later to find Tabbris slouching over in a chair with his head on the table. Kevin's body was no longer with him.
"Where is Kevin?" Tabbris asked, glancing up momentarily.
"I gave him a hunter's funeral," Dean said shortly.
Tabbris watched him walk over to Kevin's workspace on the library table. It was still covered in Kevin's research. A half eaten sandwhich sat untouched on the table. Dean picked up Kevin's phone and stared at it. He closed his eyes and put a hand to his forehead, like he had a headache. Then he exploded and chucked the phone across the room. He wiped the research off the table and slammed his palm down on it. He kicked a chair over angrily and then stood with nothing more to do. He looked lost as he slid to the floor and sat down hard. Tabbris just closed his eyes to rest. They had both failed today.
***
Tabbris awoke. He had no idea how long he'd been knocked out. Apparently, he had been damaged more than he thought in the flight. He opened his eyes to find he was still at the map table. Dean and Castiel stood over in the library as Dean put a variety of weapons into a bag. Tabbris had no idea why or how Castiel was here, but he could tell he was no longer human and there was something off about him.
"Dean, what happened?" Castiel asked concerned. "What's wrong?"
Dean looked down, then he said, "Kevin's dead, Cas."
Castiel stared back at Dean shocked.
"I, uh...it was my fault," Dean continued. "Sam was dying. And I-I didn't know what to do, man. So I asked an angel, said he was Ezekiel, to help. He possessed Sam, to, uh, heal him, but he wasn't Ezekiel."
Dean said it all. Tabbris knew it was painful for him to say.
"You let an angel possess Sam?" Castiel asked him incredulously.
"He said it was the only way...and I believed him," Dean said bitterly. "Now he's gone and Kevin's..."
He trailed off without finishing the sentence.
"I'm sorry," Castiel said.
"We gotta find that son of a bitch."
"But, if he's not Ezekiel, then who is he?"
"A dead man walking," Dean said putting another gun in the bag.
"You're going to destroy him?" Castiel asked skeptically.
"Damn straight."
"If you kill the angel, Sam will die too."
"I know that," Dean snapped. "God, I was so damn stupid."
"You were stupid for the right reasons."
Dean snorted, "Like that matters."
"It does," Castiel said. Then he changed the subject, "Sam is strong. If he knew he was possessed he could cast the angel out."
"But Sam doesn't know he's possessed."
Tabbris was slowly rising to his feet.
"I could help with that," Tabbris said weakly.
Castiel looked over at him and frowned, "I don't think you can."
"I was Naomi's best programmer. I could clue him in easy," Tabbris replied.
"Programmer?"
"Who do you think fixed all the defective angels like you?"
Castiel's eyes narrowed, "Why are you even here?"
"He said he came to help Kevin," Dean scowled.
Tabbis nodded. Castiel's frown only deepened.
"I see," he said. "But you seem to have a hard time moving, let alone helping us fix Sam."
Tabbris didn't respond. He knew it was true. For the moment.
"But the demons know how to access angel coding. Remember Alfie?" Castiel continued.
Dean nodded, "I think we better go check on Crowley."
Dean and Castiel walked off to a hallway out of Tabbris's sight. When they returned, a handcuffed Crowley accompanied them. They were about to leave when Tabbris called out to them.
"Where are you going?" he asked alarmed.
"Crowley's gonna do us a little favor," Dean said and they walked out the door.
Tabbris groaned and stood up. He needed to get moving. Do something. Though at this point he had no idea what. He had given up on Castiel and Bartholomew and he didn't know who was left to turn to. He was still reeling from what Bartholomew had said. That he had been reprogrammed. He still had no way of knowing if it was true, but Bartholomew was not known to lie, not to him.
Tabbris limped unhappily up the stairs and opened the bunker door. Standing immediately before him was Jen. She smirked.
"Nice to see you again, angel," she said, smiling wryly.
Jen had changed. She was no longer dirty and ragged. She wore nice jeans with a white blouse and dark grey jacket. Her blonde hair was neatly combed and curled. It accented her oval face nicely.
"What are you doing?" he asked walking out and closing the door behind him.
"Oh you know, I was in the neighborhood. Thought I'd stop by," she replied with a shrug. "What happened to you?"
She eyed his condition. His dark hair was matted in his own blood and filthy scratches could be seen on his face, arms, and hands. His grey tee shirt was ripped in a few places and stained with blood spots. He looked the worse for the wear.
"Nothing," he waved off. "I'll be fine in a few days."
She frowned, "I was supposed to bring you back in good condition."
"Bring me back?" he asked glaring at her suspiciously.
"That's right angel," she smiled. "We're going on a road trip."
She motioned to the car behind her. It was a white truck, like the one they had first driven.
"Looks comfy, right?"
"I am not going anywhere, Jen," he snapped.
She sighed, "Fine, don't go. God knows I can't make you, but why not? What else are you doing? I thought you were searching for a leader."
"I am. Progress has just been...slow," he replied, struggling for words.
"Well, once again, I'm here to help," she said, tapping her hands on her thighs.
"How?" he asked warily.
"Well, there's a certain angel who wants to see you. And you can be a tough one to find."
He opened his mouth to talk.
"Uh-uh," she said before he could speak. "No more questions. Are you in or out? Right now."
"I let you go, Jen. Why'd you go back?"
"Who said I 'went back?' " she asked and wrapped his arm around her shoulder.
He let her lead him over to the passenger seat of the truck. She helped him inside and he collapsed in the seat. She closed the door behind him, walked around the truck, and slid into the driver's seat.
She flipped her hair over her shoulder and drove away from the bunker. The engine purred as she sped quickly over the gravel roads with the window open, making it too loud for conversation. It wasn't until they reached the highway that she closed the window and her hair settled back down in a tangled bunch of curls.
Even when the car was quiet, driving smoothing along on the pavement, Tabbris did not try for conversation. He figured his questions would not be answered, and he was too drained for torture. He held tightly to the blade on his hip. It would be his best defense in his current state. In the end, she broke the silence anyway.
"So, you're grounded too, huh?" she asked.
"What?" he replied, not sure what she meant.
"You know, flightless bird type thing? That's why you're all messed up, right?"
"Yes," he said reluctantly.
"Yeah, none of us can do it you know. Not anymore," she said. Then she changed the subject. "You look tired," she continued. "Drained and everything."
He didn't answer.
"Hey," she said snapping a finger at him. "You awake?"
He stared blankly ahead.
"Fine," she sighed. "Don't talk. You never were much of a conversationalist."
"Who is the angel, Jen?" Tabbris asked her.
"I can't tell you that," she frowned.
"Jen, I am curious. Can I ask you a question?"
"What?" she asked warily.
"I know you. And I don't understand why you would search me out again. You know I could kill you in an instant," he told her simply. "So, what I've decided is that as scared as you must be of me, you're even more scared of whoever you're working for now."
She looked away from him quickly and stared silently out the windshield at the road. Tabbris continued to study her. She shut down, intent on keeping the silence. He complied.