It was dark and very, very cold. The freeze of the air shriveled up Connor's spine, sending the creeping sensation to every inch of his body. He tried to warm himself up, rubbing his hands and arms together, but it was no use. He could see his own breath, as he panted desperately, gasping for oxygen he wasn't sure he was receiving.
Where was he? How had he gotten there?
And more importantly; how could he get out?
Very slowly and barely able to stand, he walked in no specific direction. Anywhere would be fine as long as it wasn't there. He must have been walking for minutes when he noticed something. A flickering white light that illuminated a small white bench against a blue wall. Connor headed that way and sat down, catching his breath.
He then looked up, and the mysterious dark place was no longer so. It was a hallway, very long and very stale. It had white lights like his aligned all over the ceiling, and there were several many other white benches with people all on them. The walls were aligned with white doors and crystal windows, concealing whatever was on the other side with shutters. The sounds of foreign sobs and whimpers and the smell of chloroform and sanitizer filled the air.
A hospital.
As soon as the realization of where he was had hit Connor, he felt the panic rise in his veins. He had to get out of there. He had to somehow leave that place, and not be followed. They would ask him what he was doing there, they would ask him what had happened...
He had to leave. He had to find Alexis and Mikey and then leave; he couldn't be there.
Once again he rose to his feet, and slowly walked along the large hallway. As he did, he watched the people waiting. Families and solitaires alike, all of them remained still and refused to leave the precinct. Connor watched and wondered. He wondered how they could possibly be in that room, still like statues. He wondered how they could stand the pungent smell in the air. He wondered how they could endure the sickness of that place. He wondered, but found no answers.
He walked, and to his ears arrived murmurs and whispers. What did they say? What did they want? Suddenly many eyeless stares were on him, as he heard the accusations through the silence...
That's him.
That's the boy.
How did he make it?
He could have died.
Perhaps he is dead.
How come? They were all crushed...
Connor refused to listen, and instead he focused on the end of the hallway. A large, wooden double door that separated that room from the rest of the world. Dreading the sole existence of that place he ran, hoping that on the other side he would reach the exit.
He crashed against the door and onto the floor he fell, noticing he was in another hallway, exactly like the last one. Only that this one was barely lit, and very empty. He couldn't see the end of the hallway this time. It extended into the darkness.
Suddenly, in the sepulchral silence that engulfed the place, a crooking screech could be heard from a door opening, and Connor saw one of the white doors that aligned the wall slightly ajar. He got up from the floor and, trembling from his toes to his teeth, walked inside the mysterious room.
It was a small rectangular room with two empty white beds. The sheets were well fixed, as if they hadn't even been used. There was an open window with white drapes, dancing to a cold breeze and a blinding light that belonged to the exterior. Connor had never felt more alone. Where was everyone? Why was he here? Whose room was this...?
-"... A... Al?"-Connor asked tentatively, hoping to find some sort of signal from Alexis-"Al...? Al, are you here?"
He took a couple of steps towards the window. It was so bright it was impossible to see what was outside.
-"Mikey?"-Connor asked, desperately trying to reach out to anyone-"Is there anyone here? Mikey...?"
A heavy thump from the door closing behind him made Connor turn on his heels. There was a little boy with short, blonde hair standing in front of him, facing backwards. He stood on the spot, sobbing. He couldn't have been older than six or seven. It was painful to see him that way. He seemed inconsolable. Connor couldn't see his face, but there was something about him... something too familiar.
-"... He... Hey, buddy..."-Connor whispered, walking closer towards the boy-"Are you alright...? Where are your parents...?"
The boy didn't answer. Instead, he just sobbed harder and harder, taking his hands to cover his eyes, Connor presumed. He tried to get closer, but something told him to stay back. It had gotten to the point that this bizarre occurring was scaring him. This boy seemed so uncannily familiar that it was impossible Connor didn't know him.
And then, it hit him.
The brown jumper he had gotten for Christmas. The neat, short haircut he always had, or else his hair would itch. His right foot, slightly turned inwards, to the left, because the doctors had told them he was left-handed and that meant that his right foot would take more body weight.
-"B... Brandon...?"-Connor asked, walking slowly but steadily towards the boy-"Brandon, is that you?"
The boy did not reply nor turned to face Connor, but he did stop sobbing. Connor felt a powerful ache in his chest, and tears streaming down his face.
-"Brandon it's me, Connor!"-he said with shortened words-"It's your big brother Connor...!"
Connor's right hand reached out, intending to tap the boy on his shoulder. But he couldn't.
Brandon shoved away Connor's arm and turned around his tears down his face. It was him. But his eyes were red with a rage that Connor had never seen in him before.
-"WHERE ARE THEY!?"-Brandon asked in panic, pointing his finger to the left.
Connor turned towards the direction Brandon pointed, and saw the two empty hospital beds. Only they weren't clean anymore.
Where there used to be neatly folded white sheets, were now yellowish, bloodstained rags that lied below two piles of clothes... clothes Connor knew perfectly well whom they belonged to.
Before he could react, a prolonged, honking noise invaded the room. Connor immediately turned towards its direction, and faced the bright window. Now he knew why it had been so bright; heading his way and set to crash the window was a large, red-colored truck.
He closed his eyes before the impact, and his mind could only play one song, over and over. Like it had ever done, and like it forever will.
... Coming out... just fine... I want it all...
... How... like this... only a...
And then, the vehicle struck Connor with its mighty force.
---
A muted scream and the rumble of distant thunder greeted Connor when he woke up in the middle of the night, gasping for air he didn't know was there. It wasn't until he had jumped out of his bed and touched the floor with his bare hands that he was certain the nightmare had been over.
Mikey was still sound asleep. And no wonder why-the rain that poured against the window was more than just soothing. It was like the perfect rocking lullaby. But still, Connor had somehow managed to wake in the middle of the night after what had to be one of the most vivid dreams he'd had to date.
Connor got off the floor, and headed towards his suitcase. He opened it with haste and started digging around his little amount of clothes for his old weary jeans. When he did find them, he took searched the right back pocket desperately, as if what he kept there could have gotten lost one way or another. Luckily, it was right there, where it had always been.
Panting slowly and moving himself gently, he rested his back against the bed, and watched the old picture on his hand. The only picture he had of his family. His eyes immediately tracked Brandon, and he was the exact same child he had seen in his dream. He even wore the same clothes. Well, the picture Brandon was smiling without a care in the world, and in that sense he was nothing like the kid that had appeared in Connor's dream.
But, what he told Connor... the... accusation...
Connor kissed the picture one last time before putting it away. He didn't pay attention to how much noise he was making; it wasn't like he could care. Before he could tell, he was already tucked in bed and ready to go to sleep.
He faced away from the window and towards Mikey's bed, and it was them when his eyes met Mikey's, barely awake ones, still lying on his bed.
Connor felt a rush of embarrassment and despise on his features.
Connor didn't say anything, and instead rolled over so that he wouldn't have to face the curly haired boy. He silently prayed for Mikey to forget whatever he had seen and what had happened on the following morning, and like that he would save himself from a conversation he didn't want to have.
It's always hard, to talk about your ghosts.
---
The next morning had dawned smelling of grass and water, as the little bit of sun that shone over Yule made last night's rain seem like it never happened. Connor watched the view from the backseat window of the car, observing the suburban houses and the stores that paraded through the streets. Alexis was to his left, and on the front were Mikey and Grace. Grace had woken them all up early on that Sunday, and told them to get in the car. At first she refused to tell them where they were going, saying that she wanted it to be a surprise. But Mikey's complaints and Alexis' insistence made her yield and she eventually told them.
-"We're going to the mall!"-Grace said while driving, with a tone of frustration in her voice that hinted disapointement at not being able to surprise the kids.
-"To the mall?"-Mikey asked-"That's it?"
-"What do you mean 'that's it', Mikey?"-Grace asked a bit offended-"We're getting Alexis and Connor some good, new clothes! And, if we're lucky, maybe a couple of things they may need for school, or home..."
Connor scoffed under his breath. 'Home' wasn't really something he was familiar with.
Alexis had gone from curiosity to huge excitement in the blink of an eye.
-"Wait, you are getting us clothes!?"-she asked in rejoice-"Really? Just for us?"
-"Yes, just for you!"-Grace said, smiling towards Alexis form the rearview mirror-"I know that you must be tired of wearing always the same clothes, so I thought heck, why not?"
Grace then sent a grin towards Mikey.
-"I still remember the week Mikey got home."-she said-"he was all nervous and very, very shy. He only had one change of clothes with him from his previous foster home, where he used to share it with all the other boys he lived with. But then we took him shopping, and it became a monthly tradition to get him something nice to wear. This was long before we had made the choice to adopt him... and it's the best decision I've ever made in my life."
Connor couldn't help noticing Grace kept saying 'we', as if someone else had adopted Mikey with her. Mikey's cheeks was flushed of an intense red, and le looked away from Grace in embarrassment.
-"Geez, Grace please stop... that's embarrassing!"-he whispered.
-"No it's not! It's the truth! That's truly how I feel, don't question it, ok?"
This side of Grace and Mikey's relationship was all new to Connor and Alexis, who hadn't really seen them much as mother and son. But it hit Connor then that Grace was Mikey's mother. Even if she was an adoptive parent, she had chosen him. That's a lot more than what he could say.
-"I think that's adorable!"-Alexis said with a sad smile-"You're lucky, Mikey."
Of course that to that, Mikey couldn't reply anything to Alexis other than his smile. Because he was lucky, and they all knew it. Every person in the car. Not many foster kids got adopted, and the few who did were the really lucky ones. Connor had given up a long time ago, but Alexis... there was something in her pure heart, a flame that wouldn't go out and that kept her hope alive. Connor thought that was dangerous, because if the day that hope was broken came, then so would Alexis break with it.
Eventually they got to the mall, and off they went to get clothes for Alexis and Connor. Grace took them to several different shops, but neither of them were really picky with clothes. She insisted in getting them, in her own words, 'whatever they liked best'. That, of course, became an issue when neither Connor nor Alexis knew what to pick, and if there was something they liked, they wouldn't comment on it because they thought it might be too pricey or something of the sort. They weren't used to getting this sort of treatment. It was a big deal, really.
Why was it a big deal? Being a foster kid, all of your belongings are given to you by the state. That meant that, of course, you were given what you needed, and nothing more. He and Alexis had been living off the same change of clothes and same suitcase since he had become a foster child when he was eight, and it had been that way since. Foster parents, or at least most of them, never bought the foster kids any clothes or anything in general. Things that they were given were mostly from their social workers. Brittany was really good at that, since she had become Connor and Alexis' social worker, she hadn't missed either of their birthdays or Christmas. She had gotten Connor a pair of nice shoes (which he managed to lose in a fight) and even a nice warm jacket for Alexis. A foster parent, however, had never bought either of them anything. Grace would be a first.
Of course that foster kids could buy themselves any clothes they wanted, if they were given any money. They weren't forbidden from having personal belongings, but the usual thing was for them not to have any. Except for perhaps a couple of personal ones you might have had before you ended up in the system. Those kinds of things that you would never allow anyone to take from you, and that you hold on to for dear life. Connor always caressed the silver watch on his right wrist when he thought about this, and would take a glimpse to Alexis' red beanie that she never took off, no matter what.
Yeah. Some things you just hold on to for dear life.
At one point, Grace had managed to get both Connor and Alexis some nice jeans and T-shirts in the GAP store, and even some stuff for Mikey. As she went to make the line and pay, the three kids were left to kill some time on the benches outside the store. It was a very big mall, probably the biggest in town. The large hallways were aligned with all different kinds of stores and famous names, from Victoria's Secret to Crocs, and all sorts of people walked in every direction.
Mikey sat on the bench, focused on his cellphone. Connor wasn't sure, but he could bet he was probably having a text conversation with Luke. Those two never seemed to stop talking to each other. He guessed that's what a best friend must be like. Connor didn't understand cellphones; he'd never had one to call his own in the first place. He thought they were stupid, if he was being frank. Well, not stupid, but yes useless. The only two people he could think of he would need a cellphone to contact were Alexis and Brittany, and the first one didn't have a phone either while the second one didn't have any time to answer hers. Since he had no family or people he was certain were his friends, a cellphone just seemed like an unnecessary luxury.
Alexis was eyeing Mikey's texting, seemingly entertained, when she decided to turn around and scoot closer to Connor. Then, in barely audible whispers for Mikey not to hear, she talked to him.
-"Eh... Con?"-she asked.
-"What is it Al?"
-"Well... it's just that... you know, about the other night, at the Yule Space..."
Connor sighed in frustration and looked away, making it clear he didn't want to talk about it.
-"Listen you don't have to be like this."-Alexis insisted-"You can talk about this with me if you want to."
-"Well I don't."-Connor said bluntly-"So cut it. Ok? There is nothing to discuss about that night."
Alexis seemed very hurt, and Connor felt guilty for that. But he didn't want to risk it, so he didn't apologize. She knew how hard that topic was for Connor. She was the only one who knew. So he was certain she would understand if he really didn't want to bring it up.
-"I... I'll go check on Grace..."-Alexis said, standing up from the bench and heading into the store.
Connor and Mikey were left alone, the tension slowly building up between the two. Connor had it very clear that Mikey didn't enjoy his company, and Connor didn't enjoy his either. Having to room with him twenty four-seven was already a lot more interaction than what he could handle. And they didn't even talk when at that.
But that day Mikey seemed to have a different idea on his mind. Unlike his thoughts about Connor, he really, really liked Alexis, and he didn't like to see her hurt. Connor wasn't surprised about it, because well; that's the sort of effect Alexis had always had on people. But still, it wasn't a good idea to go around pushing his buttons. And Mikey wasn't very aware of that yet.
-"You don't have to be so hard on her."-Mikey said, gaining Connor's attention.
Connor began fulminating Mikey with his eyes, and the latter wouldn't look back at him, his sight fixed on his phone.
-"She worries about you. A lot."-Mikey went on-"She still feels guilty about the fight you got into with Tyde's brother."
Mikey's tone was getting sterner, and Connor's patience was already running out.
-"What makes you think you can tell me this stuff? Huh?"-Connor asked.
-"Whatever may the reason why you hate me so much"-Mikey replied-", I'm sure your affection for Alexis is stronger than that. And I'm sure you know I'm right when I say you are being a dick to her for no good reason."
This time Mikey did face Connor. He had a certainty in his eyes that Connor had never seen before.
-"I bet you being like this to everyone is the reason why you don't really have friends."-Mikey pointed out-"You close people off."
-"Huh. Close them off."-Connor scoffed-"You talk big but you don't know the first thing about me. Or Alexis, for that matter."
-"No, but I want to. I want to get to know the two of you. We will be spending a lot of time together, and I think it's due that we at least try to live together... you know, at peace."
-"How do you know we're going to stay for long? We never do. Sometimes it's a couple of months. Sometimes it's less. Sometimes not a day goes by before we are taken away-Al and I live on the run. We don't have your lifestyle. We don't have a house, or a parent, or a friend to call when we're alone. All we have is each other."
-"You think I don't remember what that was like? I was a foster kid too, remember? You think I've forgotten? The seven different foster families I was in before I met Grace?"
Connor nodded silently. Mikey was bringing out the big guns to the fight.
-"Well you sure seem like you do."-Connor said.
-"And you seem like you've forgotten"-Mikey replied-"that Alexis is probably the person who cares the most about you in the world, from what you tell me. What would she do, what would she tell you if she were to find out you wake up in the middle of the night, huh? Do you think she wouldn't worry?"
Connor clenched his fist. He hated to admit it, but Mikey did have a point. As Grace and Alexis showed themselves heading towards them from inside the GAP store, Mikey stood up.
-"Look, you can antagonize me all you want. I don't care."-Mikey said-"But we're foster brothers now. And that means that, like it or not, I will get in your business. Because I do care about that. And that's not something you can stop me from doing."
Mikey went Grace and Alexis' way, like nothing had happened. Connor was honestly amazed. It wasn't usual for someone to put him in his place. Let alone a kid. Little after the shock, he stood up himself and followed suit.
After a little bit more of shopping, the party had stopped at the food court, and were now having lunch at a nice looking Pizza place. Grace had ordered two large pepperoni and pineapple pizzas, and if he was being honest, Connor was having a treat. It had taken a while to get the order and Grace had rushed off somewhere for a bit, but the wait was definitely worth it. Currently, Alexis and Mikey were laughing about something Mikey had said regarding one of his classes, and whatever it was must have been hilarious, because they were a mess. Even Connor was smiling to himself from the scene alone. At some point, Grace tapped her hands together while finishing a slice of pepperoni pizza, calling for everyone's attention.
-"Well, not that we're all eaten and together, it's time for the second surprise!"-she announced.
-"There's a second surprise?"-Alexis asked, this time twice as excited.
-"Yes, of course! Now, I don't want you to get too excited for this one, Alexis, but I think I've outdone myself if I'm being quite honest..."
Grace grabbed one brown paper bag Connor hadn't noticed before from the bunch she kept at her feet, and took out two small, neat cardboard boxes from it and handed one to Connor, and one to Alexis.
-"Come on! It's for you!"-Grace encouraged with a smile.
Both Connor and Alexis took their boxes unsurely of what to expect, as Grace and Mikey watched with wide eyes and big smiles. Connor took his little box, and examined it a bit. It was sort of heavy for its tiny size. Whatever was inside wasn't clothes of any sort, definitely, unless it was a pair of glasses or something like that. Then what could it be...?
He opened the lid, and found something he didn't expect one bit. A tiny blue metallic device with a large screen. There was a tiny circular button on the bottom, and when Connor pressed it, the screen lighted up, showing the date, the time and his name on it. 'CONNOR', it read.
Connor immediately looked up to Alexis, and she had a face probably as shocked as his, with an exact same gift on her hands, only that white. At the same time, both kids started telling Grace how they couldn't accept it and how it was too much to ask and that she was being way too kind, but she brushed off all of their complaints.
-"Nonsense! You two are teenagers like all others, I'm a firm believer of that. And everyone today needs a cellphone to communicate with their friends or with their... trusted ones"-Grace said, choosing the correct word-"in case anything happens! What if there is an emergency of some sort? I want you two to be in constant communication with me and each other. Ok?"
-"But Ms. Helbig, a phone-! These must have been so expensive!"-Alexis fret.
-"It really isn't necessary."-Connor said.
-"Nope! I'm not having it! I want you two to have cellphones, just like Mikey, and that's the last of it, ok?"
Alexis and Connor seemed to still be on the edge about it, but eventually they both calmed down and smiled. Connor checked his new cellphone; the first one he ever had. It had a back and front camera with really good resolution, he knew he could take some sick shots with it. It already had four numbers saved in contacts, too: Grace's, Mikey's, Alexis' and one that was named 'Home'.
Home.
Connor whispered soundlessly that word over and over, watching it lighting on his screen. This... this was something, wasn't it?
-"It was actually Mikey who picked out the models."-Grace said-"So you can thank him if you like them!"
-"Th... They are amazing!"-Alexis said-"Aren't they, Con?"
-"... Y... Yeah... they're really something."-he said, with a shy smile.
-"Neh. It's no big deal. They have pretty good cameras and all. Thought you'd like them."
Connor met his eyes with Mikey's. Huh. Perhaps he did care. But even if he did, it wasn't about time to give in just yet. Connor was way too skeptical for that. Even if it had to take baby steps... if this 'home' was meant to be something different from all the others so far, then he was willing to take the test.
-"Well I'm glad we're all good with this!"-Grace said-"So that said, we should probably head home... oh, and one more thing-no more of this Ms. Helbig nonsense, please? It makes me feel old! Call me Grace, ok?"
-"Yeah!"-Alexis beamed-"Yes, of course!"
-"Great!"-Grace announced-"Now let's get going! I bet there's something cool on the movie channel tonight."
The four of them started to walk across the mall towards the parking lot, where the car awaited. The good spirits from the lunch and Grace's gifts had created a very nice and warm atmosphere, very unlike what Connor had expected that gloomy morning, especially after that nightmare. Alexis seemed so happy, and she was clearly over Connor's snapping at her. It was nice knowing that even he couldn't ruin that to her.
As they approached the exit, Connor slowed down dismissively. He was checking some apps on his new phone, from the quick messaging ones to the several mini games, especially a puzzles one that grabbed his attention quickly. He didn't notice he had fallen far behind the rest, and when he raised his head in search for them, he saw they were already far ahead. He was about to go after them, when something beautiful caught his eye.
There was a large plaza with a water fountain that changed colors with special fluorescent lighting at its bottom. It was starting to dusk, so the water was turning into beautiful shades of pink and orange. Connor thought it'd be the perfect time to try his phone's camera, so he decided to take a picture. He didn't know hell from taking pictures or anything, but he had always been interested in it; he took time to set focus, check the best angle for the lights, and even adjusted the camera's brightness, and once he was satisfied with what he saw, he took the picture. Soon after he was admiring his shot, amazed at how he could be able to get such a good frame on his first try. Well, it wasn't probably that good, but it felt nice to think about it. He observed the colors of the water and the shades that it made with the stone fountain, when he noticed he had accidentally included a couple in the shot. They were sitting down on the other side of the fountain, facing away from the camera's lens and the girl's blonde head resting on the guy's shoulder. It was odd... almost as if the jacket he was wearing and the pair of white headphones were... familiar.
Connor raised his gaze, and effectively recognized the guy as the mysterious gas station kid. That meant that, of course, that girl had to be his girlfriend, Lia. The girl he had seen at the gas station picking him up the day he arrived to Yule with Alexis.
Connor didn't mean to spy or anything, because well, why would he? But he had to admit that curiosity got the best of him. He remained there, standing from a safe distance, and started taking pictures of the two as dismissively and cautiously as he could. For some reason, something told him there was a hidden secret here. Some sort of bad thing. Perhaps it was what Lilly had told him on the Yule Space the other day. About not mentioning her in front of anyone for some reason. Maybe she wasn't generally liked?
It wasn't until she stood up and kissed Troye on his cheek that he saw just why people hated her. She was beautiful. She had a round, dreamy face with rosy cheeks, tan skin and her long blonde hair that touched her elbows. She wore a short skirt dress with pants underneath and a coat on top, and she looked radiant in every way.
Only she had a look in her eyes Connor couldn't decipher.
Connor couldn't put the pieces together. Was the mysterious gas station kid fighting with her? Were they arguing? Were they not in good terms? All of the questions curiosity had sprung in him were just as quickly dissipated as soon as the radiant girl took a glance his way. Without making any harsh movements, Connor stopped observing, turned on his heels and left.
He was already on the parking lot when he ran into Mikey. The latter seemed like he was just about to go looking for him.
-"Connor!"-Mikey said-"I was just going to get you. What happened?"
-"Nothing, really."-Connor said-"Just thought I'd check how my camera worked."
-"Oh. Well, next time don't just go off like that..."
-"Hey, next time, why don't you just call my phone?"
Connor could tell from Mikey's face that he was mentally slapping himself because, well, it was the most obvious thing in the world.
---
A/N
I shouldn't be up this late.
No. You don't get it. It's 12:00 am and I have to be up by six. This is suicide. SUICIDE I TELL YOU. Tomorrow I have both a test and a project presentation and something tells me in my bones it's going to turn out soooooooooo bad.
(OK perhaps it's not my bones but the fact that the people I'm doing the presentation with are complete strangers and that just makes me nervous af)
Well, anyways, here's another chapter! A lot of Tronnor coming soon, starting next one, I just needed to get this one off the book. Lia will be relevant. And yes it is Lia Marie Johnson. And if you hadn't figured out already, Alexis is Alexis G Zall, and Alexa is Alexa Losey... I don't know why people keep asking me who they are I thought it was clear lol maybe I have to be more specific.
Let's try something cool, I'm going to ask ya'll to comment something here regarding a question, ok? Let's make a habit out of this!
So, who do you think will be more troublesome for this fic? Lia or Alexa? Oh by now you have already figured out one of them will, so come on with your theories!
Anyway, I'll be seeing you soon, you crazy lot!
-Coffee