Warning - Swearing ahead, so if you're susceptible to that kind of thing, I suggest you don't read on.
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"Gwen, you should really sleep" May said, worriedly. I suppose she was justified in a way – my Skype box showed my crazed face in real-time video. My eyes had bags under them, and were red and wide, bright with a demented light. My hair stuck up at angles and there were coffee stains around my mouth. I probably should wash off those. I snorted. "Pish Posh, I'm fine"
"No, you are not fine. You're going crazy. Sleep and do the pranking in the morning"
"The pranking cannot wait" I declared "I bid thee farewell and a good journey, my fair maiden, I shall speak to thee once again!" and before she could protest further I ended the call. I whirled around to face my bed, where my items of mass destruction lay before me, beckoning to me in urgent voices that sounded very much like my own. My watch beeped.
2:00 AM
It was time.
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I heard, very distinctly, a roar.
Now, I had absolutely no clue what this roar was doing, echoing around me as I spread my hands, trying to keep balance as I flew. "Gwen! Come on! It's not far now" Peter said, holding out his hand. The roar evaporated from mind and I smiled and took it. Neverland was almost there – substantial, close and there.
Almost...almost...almost...
"WAKE UP YOU LITTLE RED-HAIRED SATAN SPAWN!" someone violently shook me awake.
"Nooo....Peter...." I moaned as the dream slipped from between my fingers and vanished. A snort sounded above me and then the shaking resumed. So did the roaring.
"WAKE UP! WAKE UP!"
"Nooo...no wake up...five more minutes?" I suggested, sleepily hopeful. The shaking ceased...and the pounding began.
Whack!
"Wake!"
Whack!"
"Up!"
Whack!
"No" I murmured and turned over. I wouldn't wake up. I wouldn't... "AAAARGH! GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME, YOU FILTHY PEASANT! LET ME GO! SOMEONE HELP ME I'M BEING ASSAULTED!"
For Mr. Moron had just potato-sacked me from my bed and dropped me unceremoniously on the ground in an unruly heap. I scowled up at him as I rubbed my butt. "Who let you up here?" I hissed. He didn't answer, just remained looking livid. His ears were read and his chest was heaving. I'd never seen him this mad, except the time when I turned his hair pink-
Oh.
Slowly, realization hit me and a slow smirk eased itself onto my face. Oh I knew what this was about. But I shrugged and said, "What brings you here, you stupid oaf?" Mr. Moron didn't say anything, but his face was rapidly turning redder by the second. Okay, not a good idea. He reached down and yanked me up.
"What" he growled, his face way too close to mine for me to be comfortable "Did you do to my car?"
I laughed nervously. Oh, I'm going to die. But, I'm too young to die.
"Nothing?" I suggested. His face reddened further. Oh, lordie, I should really stop tempting fate.
"Do you call that nothing?" he spat, pushing me in front of a window.
What looked like a multicolor car sat in the Whitfields' driveway. It was red, blue, yellow...all the colors of the rainbow. The colors rippled as the wind ruffled the dozens of Post-It notes that comprised this colorful creation. The only thing that broke the lines of color, were the black of the word 'Ass' spelt out, in, you guessed it, Post-Its. Although it wasn't noticeable, I knew there were layers and layers of Saran Wrap underneath, covering the car from top to bottom. It was outrageously complicated to go over and over with the wrap, but it worked and it would take ages for him to cut through the whole thing..
"Nope" I shrugged, trying to keep myself from laughing "I see nothing"
If you have grasped the enormity of the situation, like I hadn't, you'd know that this was the exact wrong thing to say. If I Mr. Moron couldn't get any redder, or any angrier, I was sorely mistaken.
In short, he exploded.
"YOU FUCKING TURKEY WAD THAT IS MY FUCKING CAR AND THIS IS HOW YOU TREAT IT?!" he shouted, his eyes bugging out. This is when I slowly started backing away and finally, finally understood that I was in trouble. Trouble that was worth the trick, but trouble nevertheless. With each step I took back, he took a step forward unconsciously, until the back of my legs hit the bed and he was standing over me, just yelling.
"-AND THIS IS TOO MUCH I WILL GET YOU BACK FOR THIS I SWEAR" he finished. I opened my mouth, probably to say something that would instigate further shouting, but before I could, the door flew open.
My tired mother stood in the doorway in all her bathrobed glory, looking royally pissed off. When she saw Devon leaning over me, in such close proximity on top of that, she, to plainly put it, lost her shit.
"Both of you. Down. Now." and then she was gone. Devon and I exchanged looks, prank forgotten. We were thoroughly screwed. I pushed him off me, scowled and dragged myself to the door. I was still sleepy and this morning was not going well. Thanks to our friend Mr. Moron here, I would probably be grounded for another month. It'd barely been two weeks and I was relishing the fact that I'd have them back soon, but now I would get them like, I don't know, never.
As I descended the stairs, Mr. Moron trailing behind me, I thought of a hundred plausible excuses that I could possibly give. My mother, darling as she is, would probably not fall for any of them. As the living room came into view, my expression morphed into one of surprise. It was not just my mother there, it was his mother too. And his father, sitting next to mine. They looked unusually grave.
The skin on the back of my neck prickled. This wasn't going to be fun.
"Sit" Mum said curtly and we hastily placed ourselves on chairs as far away from each other as possible.
"I think you know why you're here"
Mr. Moron sheepishly rubbed the back of his head
"I'm sorry for shouting Mrs. T, I just...my car..." and with that he glared at me. My mother softened noticeably and just nodded. Great. He was sucking up to her.
"Who even let you in?" I said, cutting across the sickening exchange. My mother shot me a glare, and, unsurprisingly, so did Mr. Moron. But then, he smirked. "I have a key" he said smugly, drawing our extra key set from his pocket and dangling it in front of me.
"You gave him our key?! Do you want to kill me?!" I said, in a horrified whisper, looking at my parents.
"Yes, we gave him the key" Dad said, unusually serious. That sobered me up.
"He woke me up though" I said in a small voice. I didn't like where this was going. I couldn't quite see where it was going, just that I didn't like it.
"It was time for you to get up anyway" My mother said coldly "Besides, we have something to talk to you about" and, eyeing Mr. Moron "Both of you"
"This pranking...it's getting out of hand" Mr. Whitfield started, sharing a look with his wife. Mrs. Whitfield somberly nodded at us. I knew what was coming next, but the band that had tightened itself around my chest hadn't loosened at the thought. They wouldn't just let the pranking go on...they would do something else.
"But we've decided to let it go on" Mr. Moron visibly relaxed, but I remained tense. They weren't done. Not yet. "However..."
They say don't shoot the messenger, the bringer of bad news. I wanted to do more than just shoot our parents at this point. They explained to us exactly what our punishment would be and when and how we were to serve it. As they finished, my mouth hung open. This couldn't be happening. I wasn't alone in this (and this should've been more comforting that I had a partner in this but for obvious reasons it wasn't). Mr. Moron looked just as horrified as I felt,
"You can't be serious" he spluttered
"Very" My mother said grimly, Mrs. Whitfield nodding with her.
"Please tell me this is a joke"
"Sorry, Whinny-The-Pooh" said Mr. Whitfield apologetically.
And that was that.
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A/N: Hey guys. *waves sheepishly* I'm so sorry for not updating. I swear I'm not dead. Well not physically anyway. I've been super busy this month and a half - I took a trip back home, and then I was shipped off to Stanford for the summer. My course is coming to an end pretty soon, and you'll be getting regular updates thereafter. I'm sorry for the abandonment, I swear I still love you all, and I love this story. The good parts are just beginning to start up anyway. Love you all from Nerd Nation, and stay beautiful, lovelies.
xxx
Sage