Josephine
A hurricane has hit Atlanta.
In a metaphorical sense I mean, of course.
We went from calm, days marked only by what we felt like doing to a mix of appointments, organized trips and chaotic evenings.
I like it but it's slightly destabilizing!
What happened, you ask?
Simple: the other actors of the film have arrived to complete the cast!
It all started one morning, a Monday morning to be precise.
--------
"Josephine Langford from Perth, Australia!" Dylan smiles, holding out his hand.
I smile reflexively, looking at his outstretched hand and then at him. I shake it "Hey! That's usually my line!" I play the game "Have you researched me?"
"I'm Dylan Arnold, nice to meet you. And to answer your question: of course I've researched you. Everyone actually! I like to be prepared!" He says proudly.
"We have something in common then! I like to be prepared for everything too." I am reminded of my faithful red folder where I write down all my thoughts and ideas. The one that Hero constantly makes fun of to make me angry.
A smile comes naturally to my face.
I already like Dylan. He has an amused expression on his face and gestures a lot as he speaks. It's really funny.
"We're a match! Not surprisingly, I'll be your boyfriend!" The statement takes me by surprise for a moment, but then I connect the fact that he is Tessa's boyfriend and I understand what he means.
"They chose well then!" I smile.
He looks at me amazed for a moment and I understand that what I just said could be misunderstood.
“Since we already get along…” I hasten to add.
He continues to look at me without saying a word. Did I say something that shocked him?!?
"Did you arrive this morning too?" I clear my throat, changing the subject.
Some guys arrived this night, many came directly from the airport this morning. You can clearly see who comes from far away, seeing as they are really tired or have hours of jetlag to recover from.
"Yes, I don't live that far away. I took a plane early this morning. It was actually still night, but it was easy anyway!" Luckily he has unblocked himself again and no longer has the astonished expression he had just now.
It makes me smile that he gives me so many details and is obviously comfortable talking to me, even though he doesn't know me at all.
Suddenly we hear laughter and we both turn.
There's a boy with fairly long, dark hair who's holding his belly laughing as he talks to Hero. He pats him on the shoulder in amusement, continuing to laugh.
Hero, handsome as always, puts his hat on his head, chuckling. Who knows what they said to each other to trigger all this laughter.
It's nice to see him like this. I imagine what it might be like in London, with his friends.
"That's Samuel Larsen, 27 years old, actor and singer from Los Angeles" Dylan explains to me.
He actually researched everyone! Incredible! "He's really good! You should hear him play, he's talented!"
I nod while still looking in Hero's direction.
Since we arrived in the hotel lobby we haven't been able to say a single word to each other. I sigh thinking that our time alone is truly over. Now we will have to divide our attention with many more people. On the one hand I'm excited, on the other I'm a little sorry.
I loved having him all to myself!
"I am Shane Paul McGhie, 25 years old, actor, from Los Angeles." A very smiling boy offers me his hand. "Do we have to show up like this now? Like we're at an audition?" He chuckles looking at Dylan amused.
"Hey mate!" He greets him with a pat on the shoulder "We met at the auditions and we were on the same plane to come here!" Dylan quickly explains to me.
I nod shaking his hand "Nice to meet you, I'm Josephine Langford but you can just call me Jo."
"My pleasure, Jo. Has this madman already given you the bios of everyone in this room?" Shane rolls his eyes, mocking him.
“Hey, I like to be informed!” Dylan crosses his arms pretending to be offended. "I don't see anything wrong with it at all!"
I shake my head in amusement. These two are really nice and already seem to be in tune.
"You know, he seems to have some serial killer traits, don't you think?" Shane approaches me, crossing his arms and keeping his gaze on Dylan.
I chuckle nodding “You know, you might be right?”
Dylan looks at us shocked, his eyes wide open.
“You two are crazy!!!” He shakes his head.
Shane and I laugh in amusement as we watch him squirm. He pulls his long hair behind his ears in shock.
“Josephine Langford, right?” I turn around, still giggling, and find a very tall, dark-haired girl with fluffy, curly hair and oriental features. I can't say exactly what its origins might be, but it's fascinating. She has super plump lips and very intense hazel eyes.
I bet she's a model, with this slender physique she has I have practically no doubts. Even the posture suggests this. She stands straight and statuesque, looking down at me. Of course, since there will be a 20cm difference between me and her!
"Hi, nice to meet you!" I exclaim holding out my hand.
There are so many new faces that everywhere I turn I find someone wanting to introduce themselves. It's quite disorienting but it's beautiful at the same time.
It's like a hurricane of new knowledge.
"I am Khadijha Red Thunder, my pleasure Josephine." She smiles at me as her hair flutters around her face.
I really love these curls! I would love to have them like that too, it would be fun!
"Just call me Kad!"
"And I'm Jo!" I smile at her.
"Perfect!" She nods smiling "Are these two young men behaving well?" She looks at them seriously before bursting out laughing "Everyone at the airport knows us now. They made so much noise that I was afraid they would kick us out as soon as we landed!" She shakes her head in amusement.
So apparently many of them come directly from Los Angeles.
"Yes, they're nice!" I look at them smiling.
"I am definitely more!" Dylan surprises me by wrapping his arm around my shoulders.
I widen my eyes in surprise and remain still. I didn't expect all this confidence right away!
I'm not annoyed but I'm not used to these outbursts of affection from people I don't know.
"After all, the two of us are together!" He seems really proud of the fact that he plays my boyfriend in the film, since this is already the second time he's mentioned it.
“Um…” Someone clears their throat behind us. We both turn around but I already know who it could be. I would recognize his voice from the slightest sound.
"Hero!" I smile at him happily. I like having him around and today they practically kidnapped him. Not that I was very free to do who knows what either, mind you. We're completely immersed in getting to know the new cast members and that's okay. It's normal!
"Hands off my girlfriend!" He looks at the arm around my shoulders and then at Dylan, with an expression I've only seen him make during rehearsals. He's serious and glares at him, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Your...what?" Dylan immediately removes his arm from my shoulders in surprise, as if he'd just been shocked, and looks at both of us questioningly. The same expression is painted on the faces of the other kids around here. For a moment silence falls around us.
I watch him carefully to understand what is happening.
Hero is always kind to everyone, so this behavior is not like him.
Unless... Of course!
"Hardin, stop it!" I look at him seriously, crossing my arms,"You're jealous for no reason! Sooner or later you'll get kicked in a very delicate place, I guarantee it!" I glare at him, smiling.
Hero bursts out laughing, moving closer to me.
"Fair enough, that makes sense to me!" He nods, changing his expression. He is relaxed and smiling again. "I'm Hero Fiennes Tiffin, nice to meet you!" He offers his hand to Dylan first.
"Uh...yeah...Ehi man!" Dylan remains still for a moment, then relaxes, lets out a sigh and introduces himself. When it's Shane's turn to introduce himself, he smiles at him amused "You gave this guy a shock!" He chuckles, pointing to Dylan. "You have all my respect!"
"Hey! That's absolutely not true!" Dylan complains, shaking his head. "I understood very well that he was acting!"
We all laugh and it's a good time. "You could tell!!!" Continue opening his arms emphatically.
I already feel in tune with these guys.
"Hey, we already know each other!" Khadijha smiles at him, biting her lips. "I couldn't believe it when I read who had been chosen as the protagonist! Congratulations Hero!" She approaches him, hugging him.
When she walks away, Hero looks at her for a moment and then nods "Oh yeah? Maybe we saw each other at some event?" He remains vague. He clearly has no idea where or if they ever met, but he wants to be polite, as always.
"Obviously! We saw each other in Milan for fashion week last year! You were with your manager. That very nice blonde girl." She seems to remember very precisely where they met. Maybe a little too much precision.
Well, do we want to blame her?
Who could forget Hero Fiennes Tiffin? Come on then. Let's be realistic.
It is comprensible! I have no reason to be jealous. That would be stupid!
While the two of them catch up on their various commitments regarding various advertising campaigns, I introduce myself to Inanna Sarkis, aka Molly.
She is a petite girl, with long dark hair and attentive eyes. He observes me scrupulously without even trying to hide it. She doesn't talk much, she mostly listens and laughs at Shane or Dylan's jokes.
She is perhaps the person I haven't immediately connected with so far.
Apart from Kadijiha obviously, since she is shamelessly flirting with Hero and I have to admit that I'm not exactly thrilled.
I understand her excitement, but I wish she would at least contain herself a little.
It's true that he and I are not together and we have decided to live day by day, without giving labels to our relationship, but she rings in my head like a big alarm bell.
Hero is calm, hands in his pockets and smiles every now and then, almost out of politeness. He never touches her, not even by mistake and this reassures me, since with me he always has his hands on my body in some way. But... Well, jealousy always comes when you least expect it. I'll have to live with it somehow.
Samuel Larsen and Pia Mia catch my attention. They are humming on the sofas in the hall, laughing amusedly and pretending to play some undefined musical instrument.
They introduced themselves warmly, hugging me as if we had been great friends for years and it amused me a lot. They are two rivers full of ideas on how we could all spend our time together. They have already organized three evenings in the next few weeks!
Sigh! Goodbye pajamas, films and covers!
Pia is beautiful, she's probably a model too and if she isn't yet, she should be! She has super blonde hair, so much so that it seems almost white, gathered in a very tight bun. Who knows what pain her head will hurt tonight! I wouldn't be able to wear them tied so tightly.
I turn to Hero who is still chatting with Kad. I sigh, looking away. She is so beautiful, tall and slim. They have a lot of things in common, probably a lot more than he has with me. But it's normal, right? When you care so much about someone, a little jealousy is physiological. The important thing is that it doesn't become an illness.
I go back to chat with Shane and Dylan as we all get closer to the two singers of the group.
The hall fills with music and voices.
It's really nice mood! I like it!
"How about we go for a sightseeing?" Swen, who until now had been chatting with Pia and Meadow, stands up and looks at us smiling. “I know some really super cool places here in Atlanta!”
"We could all go to lunch together!" Pia claps her hands enthusiastically.
It makes me smile that her voice, while singing, is truly beautiful. But when she speaks normally it's a little croaky and it makes her a little funny.
I know, I shouldn't judge people, especially when I just meet them, but my thoughts remain private. I don't hurt anyone!
The lobby doors open wide and we enter warm, sunny Atlanta, like a group of kids on a school trip.
Well, Professor Soto is with us, so we actually look a little like one!
Okay, I'll just make the last joke about the fact that she will be more or less 20/30 years older than us. She carries them well too, to be honest and seeing her super sweet and cuddly with Swen is honestly really nice.
But I swear that now I'll stop judging everyone! It's not fair!
I can almost hear my mom's voice lecturing me about how bad it is to judge others.
Time passes really quickly and at 12.30 we all find ourselves incredibly hungry!
We stop to eat sandwiches on the street and laugh, we laugh really hard! We seriously look like a group of kids on a school trip.
I exchange a word with everyone, except Hero. We've always been together so far and it's honestly weird not spending all our time chatting with him, but I expected it. I was prepared for this eventuality.
We exchange a few glances from afar and smiles, but nothing more.
When he winks at me at a certain point during lunch, my heart jumps in my chest and I look down to avoid letting everyone see how much I've suddenly blushed.
Yes, he has this effect on me!
It's incredible!
This new group of kids is so chaotic and effervescent, it literally absorbed us.
Shane is really nice and we chat about everything, Los Angeles in particular.
"When you come to LA I'll help you find an apartment! You'll see, it'll be a fantastic experience! Maybe we'll end up as neighbors!" He smiles.
I nod "It would be nice! I'll have to decide to take this important step! Perth is too far from the life I want to live!"
"Parties and parties every night, then?" Inanna smiles at me but there's something in her gaze that I can't decipher. She seems to be studying me and I don't know why. Or maybe she's just judging me, even. Who knows?
"Oh, no. I didn't mean that kind of life. Pajamas and movies on Netflix are my ideal nights" I know it sounds strange coming from a twenty-year-old girl, but it's true. I like quiet outings or staying on the couch watching a movie more than wild parties where it seems like you have to have fun.
I don't even drink much actually, almost not at all to be honest.
She nods while drinking her mega tea from Starbucks.
I've already finished my cappuccino and am munching on a chocolate chip cookie.
It's so sweet I'll get diabetes when I finish it, but I like it too much.
It has these chocolate chips that are out of this world and...
"Can I taste it?" Hero appears out of nowhere and steals a bite from my cookie, without me having time to react.
"Hey!!!" I pat him on the shoulder as he chuckles, holding a hand to his mouth to keep from spitting out all the cookie here and there.
"It's so good!" He mumbles while chewing, while continuing to laugh in amusement.
His favorite pastime? Bother me!
It's irritating.
But I love it!!!
Don't tell him though, it's a secret!
I shake my head in amusement.
"Tiffin!!! Think about your biscuits without taking mine!"
“Your stuff tastes better!” He chuckles looking at me intensely and I don't know why but this statement seems full of hidden meanings to me.
Inanna seems to think the same thing as me, looking at Hero and me alternately.
I suddenly feel hot!
Don't you also find that the temperature has suddenly risen?
“How long have you two been here in Atlanta?” She asks us with a smile that suggests that she has understood what actually exists between him and me.
She probably didn't understand anything instead.
"A week, more or less" I reply, eating another piece of biscuit, to appear as relaxed as possible.
Hero tries to get closer to me and the cookie again, but I try to shelter my darling from his clutches as much as possible.
"Come on, Jo! Just one more bite!" He makes sweet eyes at me as he jumps in front of me.
"Absolutely not!" I shake my head decisively. I shield the cookie with one hand and move aside every time he tries to evade my defense. I laugh as he tries to block me, hugging me from behind.
I struggle, trying to breathe, while still laughing.
"A little one, a very little one?" He gestures with his hands in front of my face to point to a tiny piece. I feel him laughing behind me, with his chest on my back and his face on my shoulder.
I laugh in amusement but continue to shake my head.
“You had your cookies and you ate them all!” I point this out to him, lifting my head to meet his gaze.
He smiles and for a moment I get lost admiring the dimples on the sides of his mouth. It's so good it hurts!
And I like it. I like it more and more!
And I know, this will be a problem soon but I don't want to think about it.
'Here and now' is my motto! At least I will have memories to think about with a smile when life takes us to distant places in the world. It will be worth it.
"Yes, but this biscuit is delicious!" He replies with that smile that makes me melt like snow in the sun.
We look at each other for moments that seem infinite, eye to eye, smiling.
I sigh, considering giving him this little piece of cookie if he continues to look at me like that.
"Hero, if you want I have an extra cookie!" Kad hands it to him with a big smile and he immediately grabs it victoriously, but remains hugged to me.
"See? She's really nice! You would make me starve!" He shakes his head mocking me,"Thanks Kad!"
How much does he like to tease me?
I look at him in shock "You're always hungry! It's incredible!"
He looks at me biting his lips.
Yes, Hero. I know. I would like to kiss you too!
He doesn't have time to reply because he is dragged away by Sam and Dylan, towards a shop window.
He reluctantly releases his grip on my body.
I smile as I watch him walk away with his mouth full. He turns to me, winking.
I shake my head in amusement as I finish eating my cookie in peace.
I intercept Inanna's gaze, but I pretend nothing has happened, finding another topic of conversation.
Shane comes to my aid, listing all the places in Los Angeles that I absolutely must visit.
I mentally thank him for the diversion and immerse myself in the stories of the kids who have lived in California for a long time or even their entire lives.
I have to admit that it's really nice to spend time with all of them.
We already seem like a close-knit team and this reassures me a lot. I was worried about meeting so many people so close to the start of filming, but I'm more and more convinced that acting with them will be fun!
The afternoon passes quickly, with laughter and absurd stories from Pia.
This girl is truly hilarious! When she showed up this morning, I would never have guessed it, and yet...
I return to the hotel around 4.00pm, just in time to get ready for going out to dinner at 6.00pm.
“I'll see you later, okay?” Shane smiles at me as he passes the door of my room to go to his, at the end of the corridor.
He and I immediately bonded. These are things you can feel and something has clicked between us.
I feel like we could really be friends. I like this feeling!
I sigh, closing the door behind me.
No noise comes from Hero's room.
I leave my bag on the cabinet near the door, take off my shoes and hat.
I peek through the connecting door to see if Hero has actually returned, but nothing. There is not.
He stayed with some of the boys and girls who arrived, because they wanted to go shopping around the city. I wasn't feeling too good about it, so after continuing to wander around Atlanta with Shane and Dylan, we headed back to the hotel to get some rest.
I bought a great magnet to stick on the fridge when I get home and I bought one for Hero too.
I don't know why, but I think he might like it. It will be a way to remember this experience together.
I sigh looking at my empty room.
I thought he would be home by now too, but apparently not.
I change quickly to be more comfortable. I have a few hours of relaxation before I have to go out again and I want to spend it in bed doing nothing. Tonight we will all have dinner together and then we will go to a club, so we will most likely return late.
Luckily we had the day off before starting the official shoot tomorrow.
We're about to get started in earnest and I can't wait! Finally the moment I've been waiting for has arrived!
Hero and I have rehearsed all the scenes we have together and I feel more confident than ever. It will all be fine!
I sit on the bed with my legs crossed.
I could just sleep or watch a movie.
There would also be a Eurovision rerun to watch! Uhm, this is a tough choice! I had in mind to suggest that Hero watch it with me.
I sigh, biting my lips.
The phone starts vibrating on the nightstand, taking me by surprise. I gasp as if I've been caught doing something forbidden.
What nonsense!
As if anyone could hear my thoughts!
It's Hero!
He's calling me.
Can he know when I'm thinking about him now?
It makes me laugh, it's so unreal!
"Hey!" I smile as I answer the call.
My heart is beating so fast.
It's normal?!? No it's not!
I run a hand over my face, closing my eyes. I'm going crazy and these are the first irrefutable signs.
"Hey!" There is confusion around him but I can't figure out where he might be. "Are you still around?"
"No, I just got back into the room" I look around. I would like to tell him that it's too quiet here without him, but I don't want to be melodramatic or even worse, corny! Brrr... just thinking about it makes me shiver.
"Good! Wait for me then, I'm coming!" I can feel him smiling even though I can't see his face.
"O-okay..." I don't know what to say. Why did he call me to tell me he's coming back? What a strange thing!
"See you later!" Ends the call quickly.
I watch the phone in my hands go black again.
I wait in silence and after a few minutes, which seem like hours, I hear the door to his room open and close.
"Jo? Are you there?" My heart is going a thousand miles an hour. Is it possible that this boy has this effect on me?
"I'm here!" I say out loud. I look at the connecting door and wait for Hero to appear, my heart pounding.
"Hey Hello!" He arrives in all his absurd coolness, running a hand through his hair. His favorite hat, the totally black one that almost looks like leather, in one hand.
"I got you something." He shows me two paper bags. "Have you had a snack yet?"
"Well, actually yes... I went with Shane and Dylan to the coffee shop nearby" I nod.
The sandwich I ate at 12.30 wasn't enough for me. Definitely no!
"Ah, damn! So these..." He looks at the bags in his hands. “I should have called you sooner!” He sighs in defeat.
He places the bags on the bed and opens them.
He takes out a tub of pistachio ice cream and one chocolate ice cream.
"Oh God Hero!" I open my eyes and look at him. He smiles happily biting his lips.
He knows how much I love ice cream!
"You were so sweet! And I always have room for ice cream!" I smile at him.
"Good!" He smiles happily and his beautiful dimples appear on his face.
“I got you something too!” He looks at me surprised and there is something in his gaze that literally makes me melt.
I stand up to take the small white paper bag from my bag.
I go back to him and hand it to him, fervently hoping he likes it.
He opens it curiously and a big smile spreads across his face as soon as he sees the colorful magnet with 'Atlanta' written on it.
"So you'll remember me when you return to your fantastic London!" Whisper.
"Jo..." He takes my hand and pulls me towards him. "I couldn't forget about you, even if I wanted to. And I definitely don't want to!" His eyes shine and I find myself almost hypnotized swallowing this emotion that I can't give a name to.
"Thank you very much!" He turns the magnet over in his hands, smiling. He tilts his head towards me and I stand on tiptoe to kiss him.
It's always a fantastic feeling to taste his mouth. It's something addictive!
I nibble his lips and then rest my forehead against his, touching his nose delicately.
I sigh and close my eyes.
I would like to stop time, instead of constantly thinking that at the end of filming we will have to split up.
'Here and now' I repeat to myself in my head.
Here and now.
Nothing else matters!
Ice cream comes to mind and the fact that he evidently hasn't eaten in recent hours. He, who is always hungry! Possible?
"You really didn't eat anything?" I frown. "How is it possible?"
He was traveling around Atlanta, he must have stopped for something to eat.
"No, we were late going around the shops. I stopped to get something to eat with you. Today we practically never spoke to each other!"
He's right, we were together but we spoke very little to each other.
And he's really sweet! He always has a thought for me, even when we are apart. A bit like I did when I bought him the magnet!
I smile at him as I move closer to him again. I leave a kiss on his lips and see him smile immediately afterwards.
He looks down, chuckling. He takes the container with the ice cream and places it between us, with two spoons. I'm not very hungry actually, but I can't refuse such a lovely gesture!
We eat in silence, next to each other. It's nice to be with him like this. It's reassuring and this ice cream is truly delicious!
“So this afternoon…” I desperately want to ask him what he did. If he had fun. What do you think of your new colleagues? I want to know everything!
"We went shopping. Kad knows some super cool places! You have to come with us next time."
I nod while continuing to eat "I'll definitely come!" Also because, if the alternative is staying here eating away at my liver, wondering where he is and what he does, I'll go out more than willingly.
"Pia has told me endlessly that you are beautiful and fantastic!" He winks at me smiling.
"Oh God! Really?" Burst out laughing.
He nods "Yeah, I seriously think she has a crush on you!" He chuckles in amusement, shaking his head.
“What's so funny?” I cross my arms over my chest.
"Nothing! I was just thinking that now I'll be jealous of girls too, not just boys who try to win you over!"
I shake my head in amusement "Ah, of course. Of course! There's a queue outside the door!" I joke by chuckling at the absurdity of what he just said.
"What did you do with Shane and Dylan?" He takes a huge spoonful of ice cream and smiles.
"We walked around a bit, no big deal. They're nice! It's a pleasure to talk to them. Shane said he'll help me look for a house in Los Angeles!" This ice cream is out of this world, really! Very good!
Hero just nods, continuing to eat.
“Do you really want to move, then?”
His question surprises me. I felt like I'd already told him about it.
“Yes” I nod “Most likely for me LA is the best solution. I could do a lot more live auditions and it would be an advantage”
"Yes, it's true..." He whispers.
It's eerily quiet. I have no idea what's wrong with him.
"You know, if you're jealous you can tell me openly." I tease him jokingly.
He bites his lip, still avoiding my gaze.
“Should I be?” He turns the question back on me, turning his head towards me. His eyes scan me and he is serious. Terribly serious.
"I'd say no. Also because we're not together, right?" I don't even know whether to talk to him seriously about this. Will it be too soon?
Most likely yes!
"Yeah..." He no longer meets his gaze with mine. He seems thoughtful.
“What's the feeling like being adored and fawned over all the time?” I joke "The girls practically jumped on you as soon as they saw you!" I think back to this morning.
"Boys too, for that matter!" He chuckles looking at me again "That's not true anyway, everyone was talking to everyone!"
I look at him skeptically "Oh, yes? Kadijiha was practically drooling over you because of how hypnotized she was by you. She did nothing but talk about the fashion shows you could go to together! And Inanna had heart-shaped eyes as soon as she saw you enter the room. Not deny it!
He laughs, running a hand on the back of his neck "If you must know, Kadijiha talked non-stop about fashion and I finally got distracted. I know, it's not very kind to do, but she was blasting me with words!" He shakes his head in amusement "And anyway, I was too busy watching how everyone was looking at you!"
I roll my eyes: what nonsense!
They certainly weren't all looking at me this morning! In which movie did you see this scene, exactly?
I pat him on the back playfully.
"You don't know how to tell lies, you know?" I wink at him.
"It is the truth!" His eyes widen "I didn't notice anything, if what you say happened! I was busy watching you chat with Dylan or Shane!"
He lets the last sentence slip out without thinking. He remains dumbfounded for a moment, not knowing exactly what to do.
"Hero... What is it?" I stroke his arm.
"Nothing, really," he sighs, shaking his head. "My behavior is stupid, I realize it!" He sighs again.
"I'm jealous of you too, you know?" It's hard for me to admit it but it's the truth.
I don't like being jealous, but that's how I feel.
He looks at me attentively "Seriously?"
"Yes. And it's a feeling that doesn't usually belong to me. I don't know how to handle it very well, but I will learn." I shake his hand "We'll learn together, if you like" I add.
He squeezes my hand back with a sigh.
"I'm not jealous, it's a strange feeling. When you told me that you were alone with Shane and Dylan... I wish I could have been with you. I don't mean that we have to spend all our time together, but..." He sighs interrupting his speech and running a hand through his hair.
I move closer to him, hugging him.
"Hero..." I whisper looking into his eyes.
"I would just like to spend as much time as possible with you" he caresses my cheek delicately "I feel like we have too little time to spend together" he sighs leaving a kiss on my forehead.
"Me too and I couldn't wait to be alone with you again. Here, in our room!" I confess.
He looks at me smiling "I like how you said 'our room'"
I nod "It's the truth!"
We continue to eat ice cream in silence for a while. I feed him with my spoon and his eyes become darker, more intense. He does the same thing with his spoon and I see him sigh as I let out a moan of pleasure. This pistachio ice cream is out of this world!
I have no idea what's going on in his head. Sometimes he's an open book, other times he's a total enigma.
"It's nice for me too, coming back here to you." He whispers caressing my face.
"How many hours has it been since we kissed?" I whisper too, looking at his lips.
He smiles and closes the ice cream container. I hand him my spoon and he puts everything in the mini fridge we have in the room.
"Too many!" He exclaims as he comes back to me, cupping my face in his hands.
His lips take possession of mine feverishly. His kisses devour me and complete me at the same time.
We find ourselves lying on the bed breathless, continuing to kiss. His hands roam lightly over my body, the same way I gently explore his.
We have never gone beyond kisses and a few caresses, until now.
We're getting to know each other and neither of us wants to rush things too quickly.
"I missed you so much!" He whispers kissing my neck. It reaches up to my chest and stops, moving back up towards my face.
I love that he is so attentive and respectful. He never takes initiative unless he is first sure of what I want.
His hands, under my shirt, caress my belly and I arch under his touch.
"You drive Me crazy!" His voice in my ear is like a crazy adrenaline rush.
I take his face in my hands and kiss him, completely losing control.
I nibble on his lips and hear him moan softly. I do not understand anything anymore!
I lift his shirt and he moves for a moment, grabbing it by the collar and then taking it off completely.
He towers above me bare-chested and is a celestial vision.
I make him lie down in my place and climb on top of him. His hands stop on my semi-naked thighs, covered only a little by the dress I'm wearing.
I feel his fingers slide slightly under my dress and then return to where they started. His breathing is labored and his eyes are searching me to understand what he can and cannot do.
I know I should talk to him.
I should tell him some things.
Many things.
But I can't stop now.
I do not want to do it.
I don't know how far I want to go, actually. I just know I'm getting carried away with the moment.
I lower myself onto him, nibbling and kissing his neck.
He closes his eyes sighing as his hands slide towards my ass.
"You're a sight to behold, Jo..." He whispers, his voice hoarse with excitement.
I look at him to see if everything is okay and he takes the opportunity to kiss me passionately again.
We're both lost and it could be a big problem!
"Hero, I..." I try to gather courage to talk to him. He continues to leave little wet kisses along my neck.
I have chills everywhere.
As always, the cell phone rings when it shouldn't and we both wake up from the bubble of excitement we were in.
We stay for a moment looking into each other's eyes, out of breath.
"Is it yours? Or mine?" Damn electronic gadgets. Sigh.
"I think it's mine" he closes his eyes sighing. He doesn't seem willing to answer though. He kisses me again, ignoring the ringtone that's filling the room.
“Do you want me to look for it?” I look around and I don't see his cell phone anywhere.
The call stops and then immediately starts ringing again.
Sigh. At this point you might as well look for this thing, even if only to make it stop.
"No, Jo. Stay here!" Hero stops me with his hands on my legs "Let it go"
I lean towards him again. We both smile.
“It's annoying,” I whisper against his lips.
"Yes, but it will end playing sooner or later!" He points out by leaving a kiss and a nip on my lips. Like me, he doesn't want to interrupt the moment. The reality is that unfortunately it has already happened.
Finally the room is silent again. His hands slowly caress my thighs and I feel hypnotized by his gaze.
I have to talk to him.
I have to do it now.
The cell phone starts ringing again.
"Oh, fuck! Again?" He exclaims, running a hand over his face.
"Come on, go and see who is looking for you with this insistence. Maybe it's important!" It could be, right? What would be the point of calling so many times otherwise?
Hero nods, unconvinced and gets out of bed.
He looks around and finds the phone on the chair next to his jacket.
"It's Morgan" he shakes his head reading the list of missed calls. "Ever since they met you they've done nothing but call me to see if you're with me!" He snorts, smiling at me.
I giggle as I lie back on the bed. His friends are really nice, even if they should rethink the timing for a moment.
“Do you want to call them back?” I'm gambling.
"They'll be at some party by now, dead drunk!" He puts the phone away "I'll call them tomorrow"
He doesn't have time to put the phone away when a new call comes in.
A video call, to be precise.
"No way, they won't give up!" He sighs rolling his eyes in exasperation.
"Come on, answer. If you want some privacy, I'll change rooms." He doesn't necessarily have to be seen with me all the time.
"No, stay. In fact, do you want to say hello to them? They won't give me a break anyway!" He runs a hand through his hair, phone in front of him, as he sits back down next to me.
I nod and for some reason, talking to his friends excites me. It's like discovering a part of him. Peek into his life when he is at home in London.
"Hey honey!" A girl appears on the screen.
She has long, blond hair and far too heavy makeup. She has so much blush on her face that her cheeks seem to be on fire.
It's definitely not Morgan!
"Emily? Hi!" Hero exclaims taken aback. He looks at her with a questioning frown. He looks at me dumbfounded, shrugging his shoulders.
Emily. Who is this Emily now?
And why is she calling from Morgan's phone?
I look at her attentively and remain aside in the camera frame. I want to better understand who this girl is, without letting them see me.
"How are you, babe? I miss you very much, you know? When will you be back?"
Babe?
When are you coming back???
My heart is pounding and I don't understand what's happening.
Jealousy is bad. Truly terrible. Especially because it's like something burning inside, without apparent control.
"Um..." He clears his throat, with a puzzled look "In a few months, I think. I don't know exactly when I'll be back home." He answers very vaguely.
Few months? Will he stay after filming ends? Or is he making it up?
I look at him questioningly and he looks up at me. He winks at me with a smile before looking back at the screen, serious again.
She pouts, as if she really is a little child, and shakes her head in disappointment.
He remains serious and impassive.
I don't understand what's happening, honestly.
"I want to kiss you, Hero!"
This sentence kills me. A shot right in the chest, straight to the heart!
Who exactly is this girl?!?
Is she one of the many girls he's been with?
I blink quickly. The idea that he could kiss someone else takes my breath away.
I'm getting seriously melodramatic.
Oh God, what's happening to me?
Jealous and melodramatic.
The best, truly!
I sigh and swallow the emotion that is burning in my veins. What a bad feeling this is!
I'm terrified that now she'll say even worse things than this. I don't know, maybe she'll tell him that she wants to have sex with him again.
I expect everything!
Maybe it's time to seriously move away from here and save myself the worst part!
Whatever he did with her, I don't care!
I shouldn't care!
I move to the side to get out of bed but feel a hand on my arm.
“Stay,” he whispers, “Really!”
I sit down again, reluctantly. I don't like watching this conversation. I literally have something burning inside.
"Emily, how much did you drink?" He smiles calmly at her, shaking his head. He's visibly amused now.
"You and I have never kissed!" It reminds her. “We never did anything, actually!” I don't know if he's just saying it to her to remind her of this detail or if he's saying it to reassure me.
In any case it works!
I can breathe again.
"Oh, no?" She blinks quickly with false eyelashes that make her look huge, doe-style. "It seemed so to me!" She is visibly confused. "Weren't you at Graham's party a few days ago?"
"I'd say not at all! Where's Morgan?" He continues the conversation.
If I think that we interrupted our cuddles to talk to 'Bambi - the stunned version', I kind of regret having suggested that he answer.
It was certainly not an important phone call!
"I don't know. He lent me his phone because I don't have your number and I wanted to talk to you! Can I save it on my phone, by the way?"
Oh. You don't even have his number? This means many things!
"Do you think we'll have sex when you get back to London? It would be cool to have sex with a famous person!"
My blood freezes even more in my veins. Who is this girl? Why is Hero her friend? After a statement like that, I don't know what to think.
"Emily, listen. Could you give Morgan's cell phone back, please? I have to go now!" He ignores her question and diverts the conversation, very politely, as usual.
She nods too emphatically, so much so that one of her false eyelashes comes half off and hangs over her eye.
I cover my mouth with one hand to keep from laughing.
She can't see me, but she can definitely hear me.
Hero looks at me amused, shaking his head.
They say goodbye quickly and his gaze returns to me.
He looks at the phone with the now dark screen, in his hand.
"I knew it, everyone's already drunk!" Place his cell phone on the bedside table, but not before turning it off completely.
"Now no one will bother us anymore!" It's a whisper as he comes back on top of me, making me lie on my back against the bed. His hands on the sides of my face keep him from falling on me.
It's a great feeling to be so close to him.
And that reminds me that I have to talk to him.
But not now. Not when the alarm clock on the bedside table says it's 5.35pm and I'm not ready to go out yet.
He looks at me seriously, observing my reaction after the call.
“It ruined the mood, didn't it?” He shakes his head in defeat.
"Eh, I'd say so. Also because she has some nice plans in mind when you return to London, I must say." I sigh only now realizing that this might be his normal when he gets home.
He sighs, running a hand through his hair "I don't know what's gotten into her, honestly. She's actually a friend of a friend of mine, we don't even know each other that well." He shrugs and continues to look at me attentively.
"Do you think that... That when I return to London I..." He stammers something but I immediately stop him by placing a finger on his lips.
"I'd deny it if I told you I wasn't terrified of it, but what should I do? I can only trust you... We're not even officially together, by the way." I keep repeating this to both him and myself.
He sighs again, biting his lip.
We are not yet ready to give a name to what binds us, I know this very well.
"I wouldn't do anything to make you suffer. You can be sure of that!"
I nod even as tears begin to gather in my eyes. The idea that he could go with other girls doesn't sit well with me. But he could very well do it and I wouldn't even have the right to complain, given our situation.
“How about we get ready for dinner?” I caress his face.
"Do we really have to?" He moans, burying his head in the crook of my neck. “I was planning on doing something else, actually!” He whispers next to my ear, sending my brain into overdrive.
"We have to go. We can't back out, you know." I would also like to stay here with him. I would really like it!
He snorts and leaves kisses starting from my neck and ending near my breasts. I feel like I'm on fire! Literally!
This time for a different reason than before.
"Are you sure? Because it seems like you want to stay here too" he whispers again while a mischievous smile paints itself on his face. His eyes are bright, lit up by that excitement that I'm feeling too.
I swallow, closing my eyes.
This guy messes with my brain!
I nod, unable to formulate a meaningful sentence.
He smiles against my lips before sitting up.
"Okay, I understand. In that case, I'm going to take a shower. I really need it!" He leaves a kiss on my lips.
He disappears at the speed of light into his room.
I stay there for a moment contemplating the ceiling until I finally decide to get up to get ready.
I literally dive into the closet and come out victorious in a short dress above the knees, bright red, strapless.
I put it on quickly, pairing it with my trusty lightweight denim jacket and a pair of white sneakers.
Once I find my bag, I'm ready to leave. It's 6.10pm. Only ten minutes late, nothing irreparable.
I can be much later than that, ten minutes is acceptable.
Hero is waiting for me sitting on his bed, as usual. He has his cell phone in his hand and doesn't see me coming.
"I'm ready!" I smile.
As soon as he looks up at me, he remains still for a few seconds.
His eyes scan me up and down several times and I feel pleasantly under observation.
"Fuck, Jo! You're beautiful! Really!" He keeps running his eyes over my body and I wish he would never stop.
I bite my lips happily: it was exactly the reaction I hoped he would have when he saw me.
Hit and sunk!
"You're not bad either" I clearly make fun of him, since he's a hot guy, as always.
Even though he dresses super easy, he also manages to look great with jeans and a t-shirt. Absurd.
"Thank you!" He chuckles holding out his hand "Shall we go? They're waiting for us in the lobby."
I nod and intertwine my hand with his as we leave the room.
"Do you think it will be strange to arrive together?" I think out loud.
Hero presses the button to call the elevator while thinking about how to respond.
"No, why?"
I look at my hand in his.
Maybe yes, it would be strange if they saw us so intimate.
He too looks at our joined hands and then returns with his eyes to mine.
"You're saying we should be more discreet? Is that what you want?"
I chew my lips thoughtfully.
Actually, the idea that everyone is interested in our private life doesn't excite me.
"Let's do it like this" he proposes before I can give him an answer "Let's keep this thing between you and me, for now. Without intrusion from anyone, for any reason. If that's okay with you."
I nod immediately. That's what I was thinking too.
We still have to name the feelings that bind us, although it is increasingly clear to me what I feel for him. But it is right to protect ourselves from the outside world, at least for now.
"I don't want to keep you hidden" he kisses my hand still intertwined with his "I would like to shout to the world how happy I am with you"
It's strange. We act like we're together, even though we've never talked about it openly.
Everything is getting stranger and stranger!
“I know, I know the feeling” I smile as I move closer to him, my head on his chest.
He leaves a kiss on my head, before the elevator doors open and allow us to enter.
“When we're ready, we'll tell everyone,” he whispers.
“What are we going to say, exactly?” I observe him carefully.
"How happy we are!" He winks at me, shaking my hand.
I nod "One thing at a time"
“One thing at a time,” he repeats as the doors open.