***Noah's POV***
The next morning was a dreary one. It seemed like a miracle when I was in the chair beside Eve's hospital bed, drinking my coffee and playing on my Nintendo switch to keep myself entertained, when Eve made a small groaning noise and I noticed she opened her eyes. My heart fluttered...how I missed those eyes looking back at me.
"Hey there beautiful." I cooed quietly and sat up in my seat happy to see her awake.
She looked confused and distressed and she brought her hand up to her throat, beginning to cry. I instantly frowned, feeling so helpless.
"It fucking hurts." She hoarsely whispered as the tears streamed down her cheeks.
"Fuck. Hold on baby. Let me get the nurse." I reached over tapping the call button hating that I couldn't trade places with her. She shouldn't have to go through this.
When the nurse came in, she checked her vitals and administered some pain medication into her I.V to keep her somewhat sedated and give her some relief. She had already been through too much.
Once Eve seemed more relaxed, laying her head back against her pillows and her eyelids looking droopy with exhaustion, I scooted closer and held her hand in both of mine. I noticed the dark circles that encapsulated her beautiful, brown eyes, and her lips were pale, a small cut going across her upper lip. I wondered if the gash would leave a scar behind, and I hoped, for her sake, it didn't. However, to me, I would continue to think she's beautiful. She could have a million scars and I would love her all the same, and kiss every single one of them if it made her feel better.
I watched her lie there, knowing I needed to let her rest, but it was killing me not having any answers yet about who did this. I would just keep my fingers crossed she could hopefully identify the attacker.
"You were right by the way."I told her, wanting to distract her from the discomfort she was in. "You won the bet. I got to meet our daughter for the first time yesterday and she's perfect."
Her eyes looked over at me, and there was a silence between us. She seemed olost, gazing at me with confusion. She took her hand away after a few moments. She opened her mouth to whisper, not being able to push the limits yet and speak any louder.
"Daughter?"
I nodded, wondering why she still looked confused. I saw her glance down at her stomach then she looked back at me.
"I'm sorry but...I don't know you. I think you have the wrong person." She said.
My heart dropped down into my chest. This really couldn't get any worse.
"Evie..." I sighed taking a moment just trying to keep myself calm so I didn't stress her out more than she already was.
"Look." I took her left hand and showed her the rings on her finger. "I'm your husband, baby. We're married...."
She looked like a deer in the headlights, quiet and just trying to take this all in.
"....you...you really don't remember me?"
She just continued to look at me questionably but sympathetically, obviously feeling bad she couldn't give me the answer I wanted. My heart shattered into a million pieces. I thought I had lost my wife, and had been lucky enough to lay my eyes on her again...but they still took my girl away from me...all these years we've spent working to be where we are, just for it to be pulled out from under me. Her bottom lip began to tremble.
"I have a husband and a daughter? I can't remember." She sniffled. "Why am I here? What happened to me?"
"It's okay. It's going to be okay." I assured her, but maybe I was actually trying to reassure myself. I tried to pull myself together so I could comfort her. I'm sure she's scared. I wanted to be there for her even if, in this moment, I was a complete stranger.
"I don't know who I am." She cried looking frightened. I bit my lip to stop myself from tearing up too and I ran my fingers through her hair wishing I could comfort her.
"You're Eve Celeste Davis." I took a breath. "You're a wonderful wife, a great writer, you're funny, you're witty, you're kind...you're loved by so many people. It's going to be okay and we're going to get through this, okay?"
She looked up at me, tears silently running down her cheeks and I wiped her tears away, wanting so badly just to kiss her and hold her. I just wanted my Eve back, and I was hoping she would return to me soon.
______________________
The next couple days were long and endless, but I stayed by Eve's side as much as possible even if she truly didn't know who I was. The police were being extremely patient, trying to get information from her but she had been having a hard time remembering what occurred. The neurologist said it was a form of shock. It was her brain's way of coping with the trauma of the attack and blocking it out all together.
I understood it but I was also frustrated.
I felt whoever robbed us of our happiness was getting away with it each day they went free, and I was trying so hard not to lose my shit for Evie's sake. Although I was very much feeling alone lately, I had a lot of people reach out to me since news got out about Evie and the amount of support we were getting was overwhelming. I was lucky for Folio, Nick and Jolly. They constantly came by and checked on me, making sure I had something to eat (even though I barely wanted to) and extra clothes. They also took turns coming to meet their niece.
The nurses and the people on Eve's healthcare team were phenomenal. Each day babygirl was getting stronger, and they were teaching me how to change her, bathe her, and feed her. It was bittersweet. I knew it was my responsibility to learn these things, but I was sad that I was doing this all without Evie. Ever since we found out she was pregnant, I had been looking forward to all of these milestones with Eve and learning how to be parents together. It saddened me to think that wasn't happening and it was up to me to get my shit together for this baby and for my wife. They need me. I was extremely overwhelmed, with so much new information being thrown at me all at once, but I kept telling myself that the more I changed her diapers and fed her that it would eventually become second nature.
Eve still didn't recognize me yet, but over the last couple days I told her bits and pieces about who she is and about our life together. I was hoping it would jog her memory. I did leave some details out, staying away from the horrific reasons as to why she was here in the first place. I often skipped over her questions about her injuries. I knew it probably wasn't the right way to go about it, but if she could go a little while without the emotional pain coming back to her, I wanted to give her that mental peace for now.
I had spent a lot of my day today visiting babygirl, and was anticipating her being able to come home soon. The doctor said they only wanted to keep her for a couple of more days. I was excited but anxious. At least in the hospital, I was less alone, surrounded by the nurses and being able to ask questions. But bringing her home and only having myself to rely on absolutely terrified me. It would be just me and her and I wasn't sure if I was ready for that yet.
Eve was still picking from her leftover remnants of lunch, and I finally sat up in my chair getting sick of playing on my Nintendo switch.
I sat there for a little bit, taking everything in. I was glad Eve was starting to come around physically, but I expected that if she ever got her memory back that this was just the beginning of the healing journey. The doctors were allowing us to keep babygirl in the room with us, as of last night, and I was happy to have both of my girls next to me.
I couldn't help but to watch Eve while she wasn't paying attention. My life was so surreal. It was almost like it was a shell of my wife.
A doppelgänger.
Somebody who wasn't actually my Eve, but only resembled her.
I was really missing the old Evie every waking moment.
As I kept looking at her out of the corner of my eye, I tried tk brainstorm different ways in which I could jog her memory again. I wanted to desperately bring her back to me. As I was deep in my thoughts, I started to hear baby girl fuss from her bassinet. I kept glancing at Eve and I noticed she kept looking back at me. She finished chewing what was in her mouth and swallowed before she spoke,
"What?" She asked me, wondering if there was something on her face.
"How would you like to meet your daughter today?"
Her eyes visibly widened, my question obviously catching her off guard. As she finally put her napkin down onto her plate, she remained quiet for a few long moments. I could tell she was hesitant. She still hadn't held her daughter yet and I hadn't asked her to because I didn't want to overwhelm her.
"I...I don't know Noah." She whispered, her voice still hoarse with soreness.
"What are you nervous about?" I could still read her like an open book.
"I...I don't know what I'm doing...I still can't even believe I'm a mom." I noticed her lip trembling as she spoke hesitantly and I reached over taking her hand in mine.
"Evie...it's going to be alright. I think we've been waiting long enough for you to meet your daughter. Now that you're feeling a little better I think it wouldn't hurt just for you to hold her for a little bit. I know it's scary but I promise you it's going to be okay." I saw the gears turning in Eve's head but she eventually nodded in agreement. I couldn't help but to smile a little for the first time in days.
"Okay...fine...but you have to show me how to hold her." She pleaded and I melted that she was so apprehensive.
"Of course I will." I smiled at her so pleased she was willing to hold her and I went to grab babygirl from her bassinet.
I carefully picked her up and kissed her forehead trying to shh her.
"Hey pretty girl. You wanna meet your momma?" I whispered and I gently placed her in Eve's arms.
I showed her just like the nurses showed me and I placed her hand to teach her how cradle the baby's head.I stepped back to give her space and my eyes glazed over with tears at the sight of my girls. The baby started to quiet down, and I swear it's almost like she knew Eve was her mother.
Eve gazed down at her, as she bounced her gently.
"You're doing great." My voice trembled as I spoke right above a whisper. I was trying to hold my tears back and fight the lump in my throat. I daydreamed about this moment ever since we found out Eve was pregnant. She looked so natural and I think I fell in love with her even more. I just wish this moment was just as special for her, and it was hurting my heart that she was surrounded by 'strangers' right now.
"She's beautiful." Eve smiled a little still looking over her daughter's little features. "What's her name?"
"Well...she doesn't have one yet." I sighed a bit with a shrug. "We were uh...going to choose a name together before this all happened..."
Eve glanced at me with a sad sincerity in her eyes. Even though she was lost right now, on the inside she was still my Evie; having been through horrible things but she felt bad for me. Being an empath was truly deeply rooted in her.
"Oh...did we have anything in mind?"
"Well, actually we do. For the last few months we've been super picky but we had a small list of different names that we fell in love with. We were having a hard time choosing." I remained hopeful that Eve would eventually get her memory back so I didn't want to dive into it.
"Once you're better, we can decide. We're still getting to know her anyway." I said with a small reassuring smile. I'm sure the nurses probably thought it was odd I haven't picked a name yet, but I didn't care. We had been robbed of so many moments together already, and I was holding onto this for as long as I could, wanting to hold out until Eve hopefully got her memory back.
She nodded and then looked back down at babygirl admiringly. She held her for a long time and I was pleased she had warmed up to her and looked way less nervous. I didn't want to disturb them, but eventually it was time for me to change her diaper.
Once I finished my fatherly duties and showed Eve how to give her a bottle, I put babygirl back in her bassinet, pleased with how well today went.
"Did you see the way she was looking at you?" I spoke quietly so I wouldn't wake her. "She knows her mom."
"She's so lovely." Eve smiled sleepily but then winced and put her hand over her throat. I assumed her pain meds were wearing off so I hit the call button for her. We had been having such a good day, considering the circumstances, but seeing her in pain just relit the angry fire in me...
It was getting late and they gave Eve her sleepy meds and some pain reliever so she could rest well tonight. It had been a few days since I barely left her side, but there was only so many times I could continue to just wash myself up in the hospital sink. I was craving a hot shower. I didn't necessarily feel like going back to our empty house at the moment, but I had no choice. I figured it would be okay if I left after Eve fell asleep. I could slip out and come back before she even noticed I was gone. Although I was basically a stranger to her right now, I guess it was more of a comfort for me than it was for her that I have eyes on her at all times. I would be gone for two hours tops.
When I finally made it back to the house, I flicked on the lights, just to be faced with eerie silence. Up until the attack, I loved our house. Eve had a gift of being able to decorate any space and make it cozy, and that's exactly what she did with this home. However, when I made it up the stairs and back to our bedroom, my anxiety came over me, still seeing the disheveled bedsheets and pillows thrown about. I walked over to the seen that instantly reminded me of the misery she went through, and broke down completely before I could comprehend what was happening with me.
It was almost like I was in a blind rage. I tore the sheets and blankets off the bed aggressively, hearing the ripping of the fabric. The pillows that still were on the bed went flying and I pick them up and threw them as I screamed. I pulled my hand back and catapulted my fist full force into the bedside lamp , smashing it to the floor. I could barely catch my breath and I overthrew the bedside table to the side too, causing a loud clanking of the wood on wood as it hit the floor. I screamed on the top of my lungs with all the blood and heat rushing to my face. I couldn't get the terrible picture out of my mind...my poor, perfect girl, so scared for her life and being violated in multiple ways. As I continued to scream and thrash our bedroom about, I finally ended my rage when I clenched my fist and ran my knuckles into our wall, a huge hole caving in with my fury.
I finally stopped, standing in place and breathing heavily looking around at the huge mess I've made. The blood was rushing to my hand and my knuckles began to painfully pulsate from my injury. That couldn't be good, but I didn't give a fuck. I needed the release. I had been trying so hard to keep it together for days and not show my emotions in front of Eve and it was doing me in. I thought I was doing okay until now, the bedroom scene triggering every terrible emotion in me.
I forced myself to shower, and I cried. I felt foolish but I couldn't help it. I just wanted our normalcy back. By this time, we were supposed to be home together, tending to our beautiful baby girl and enjoying her first week into the world. Right now, I felt like my world was being destroyed slowly with every day that passed.
Why did this have to happen to her?
I felt a little better after I got out all of my frustration and tears, and after my shower I went in the medicine cabinet to grab the first aid kit. I found some bandaging and was able to wrap my hand. I already regretted my outburst. I was always in the limelight, even though I really did want to be and I knew people would be talking. I was truly hoping no one would ask what happened and just mind their fucking business.
I checked my phone, seeing a ton of missed messages and phone calls. It had been on silent for days and I had no desire to turn the sound back on. The most recent notification showed a few missed calls from the hospital while I was washing up.
Shit.
Before I could listen to the voicemail they left, an incoming call came over my screen. It was them again.
"Hello?"
"Mr.Davis? It's UVA again. Something's happened with Eve and we need you to come immediately."
"Is she okay?"
"Please just come quickly."
"I'll be right there."
I panicked and threw on some clothes, wanting to get back there as quickly as I could. This nightmare was never ending and I just want to wake up.