The fear of being stuck in a perpetual state of longing loomed over Elena, regardless of her current circumstances. Every aspect of her life was scrutinized meticulously, driven by a deep-seated fear of the unknown. Now, as she tentatively touched her belly, a wave of anxiety washed over her. She carried a life within her once more, a prospect that filled her with dread and reluctance to revisit past memories. Elena's eyes betrayed the depth of her fear and disillusionment, speaking volumes about the inner turmoil she was experiencing.
As tears welled up in her eyes, Elena quickly covered her face, overwhelmed by the weight of her unexpected pregnancy and the despondent thoughts it brought to the surface.
"El?" A voice called out from the end of the room, catching Elena's attention. Her eyes met those of a concerned man who had entered her room. She pressed her lips together tightly, averting her gaze downward.
"What's wrong? Please, tell me it's not bad news. What did the doctor say?" Carlton asked, his footsteps deliberate as he approached the bed. A tear escaped Elena's eye as she met his gaze, conveying her emotions without uttering a single word.
"I'm pregnant!" Elena choked out, tears streaming down her face. Carlton's expression softened into one of sorrow as he watched Elena break down before him.
"Shhh...El....I'm....sorry! I know this wasn't what you wanted," he cooed, wrapping his arms around her tightly as they sat in bed. Elena buried her strangled face against his chest, her sobs of devastation echoing in the room.
As Elena continued crying on Carlton's shoulder, a desperate thought crossed her mind, "I don't want to become the woman who is so consumed with surviving for her children and husband that she forgets about herself, her relationship with herself." After a long and arduous day at the hospital, Elena returned home with Carlton's assistance. She couldn't help but feel as though he was treating her like a fragile, helpless woman who couldn't do anything on her own.
"Let me carry that for you!" he exclaimed, dashing towards the other side of the car as she stepped out. Elena rolled her eyes at his gesture, shooting him a swift look of annoyance.
"Are you really doing this? I can't carry my own bag?" Elena scoffed irritably. Carlton sighed, feeling the weight of Elena's annoyance as she had been difficult to please throughout the entire drive back home, no matter how he tried to assist her.
"Do as you please," he said, gesturing for her to enter the house. Elena sighed and walked inside with a serious expression. Carlton shook his head in disbelief at Elena's clear frustration with her pregnancy.
"Well, everything makes sense now as to why she was acting so emotionally unstable about her father throughout these months," he mumbled to himself as he watched her enter the house. Time seemed elusive as the clock struck midnight, and Elena struggled to fully comprehend everything Carlton had told her about their pregnancy. She pondered and racked her brain, trying to remember the details of that passionate night he had shared with her.
"Why can't I remember?" She whispered to herself, lying sideways in bed and gazing out at the starry sky through the window. She sighed in frustration at her own poor memory, questioning how much she had drunk that night. Suddenly, Elena felt Carlton's hand gently graze her upper arm, his thumb rubbing her skin. She pursed her lips in dissatisfaction, already anticipating what he was attempting with the gentle rubbing of his fingers against her skin.
"Please, not tonight! I don't want to get into another fight today! I'm too tired for that!" Elena thought, squeezing her eyes shut in the hope that Carlton would cease his advances, which clearly indicated his desire for sex. However, her silent pleas went unanswered, as the next sensation she felt was something hard poking her ass. Soon after, his lips enveloped her exposed shoulder as he drew closer, pressing his arousal against her. Elena hummed in displeasure, attempting to shift away from him, but his eagerness showed no signs of relenting.
"Carl....Carl...please," she said, feigning sleepiness. Ignoring her plea, Carlton continued his advances, nuzzling her neck as his hand slipped inside her shirt, grabbing one of her breasts firmly. He kneaded and rubbed, his breathing growing heavier with each passing moment.
"Shh....baby....let me touch you and make you forget like you always ask me to! I can make you forget about all the bad things that happened....I can make you feel better," he murmured seductively against her ear.
"Carl, I'm...I'm just...not in the mood for that right now!" she protested, trying to break free from his grasp. He was taken aback by her reaction, puzzled by her sudden rejection as she had never turned down sex before.
"Are you serious right now?" he uttered in disbelief as he pushed her back down onto the bed. Elena struggled against his hold, gazing into his confused eyes. She felt trapped as he loomed over her, his arms enclosing her figure.
"Carl, I truly am not feeling well enough to satisfy you right now! I don't want to do this! Please, just let me go," she uttered, tears welling up in her eyes for some unknown reason. She felt weak and exhausted, her emotions spiraling out of control. Carlton noticed the sudden sensitivity in Elena, feeling surreal to witness her in such a state.
"I understand, and I'm sorry! I just felt a bit confused by your sudden rejection. Please forgive me," he said as he moved back to his side of the bed. Elena sat upright, wiping away her tears, her chest feeling heavy and strangely aching.
"I need some fresh air!" She blurted out suddenly, quickly getting out of bed and throwing on her silk robe over her pajamas.
"Where exactly are you going at this time of night?" He asked, puzzled at the sight of her putting on her Chelsea boots. It was indeed an unusual sight for him.
"Please, just leave me alone for once! I'm sick and tired of having to explain every detail of my life to you! I'm exhausted!" She raised her voice in irritation, causing Carlton to stand up abruptly. His demeanor turned serious and intense as he watched her with stern eyes.
"Really! What's gotten into you lately? I've never seen you so... so... annoyed at me for the smallest things!" He said, his eyes wide with surprise. Elena chuckled at his words and simply shrugged.
"Jeez, I don't know, maybe I'm annoyed that I can't remember that night you claim I got drunk and supposedly begged you to sleep with me!" She said mockingly, her eyes flashing with anger. Carlton clenched his fists, feeling frustrated at how distant Elena had become since learning about her pregnancy.
"It's not my fault you can't remember that night when I had you all to myself. Naked and eager above me," he said with a sly smile, gripping her arms and pulling her closer. Elena pushed and struggled against him, feeling unsettled by his words that didn't align with how she felt in that moment in time.
"Stop! Just get away from me!" She protested. Carlton, frustrated by her resistance, finally released her. Elena stumbled back, quickly reaching out to grab onto the nearest object to steady herself and prevent herself from falling.
"You know what I really think happened... you somehow manipulated me when I was vulnerable and unconscious so you could sleep with me! I can't shake that thought from my head! I remember you being in my room that night. What were you doing there, Carlton?" She screamed at him, her eyes filled with anger. Carlton's expression hardened as he absorbed her accusations and anger.
"I already told you everything about what happened between us that night! We were intimate in my car while you were conscious. Then you fell asleep in my car, and I brought you back home. What more do you want me to say? You need to stop being so hysterical and irrational!" He spoke loudly, his patience wearing thin. Elena squeezed her eyes shut, struggling to comprehend the reality of his words.
"It's hard for me to describe my feelings for you because I love you, but I also feel unsafe with you. I seek warmth, Carlton, not a burning fire that could burn me to shreds," she said solemnly, gazing into his stoic eyes. Without a backward glance, she turned and walked away, leaving behind a man who felt a pang in his chest. Love, he realized, was delicate and often dangerous. It was a shame that he chose to be brave enough to risk it.
TᕼIᔕ ᔕTOᖇY Iᔕ ᗩᗷOᑌT TO ᑕᑌᒪᗰIᑎᗩTE, ᖴOᒪKᔕ.
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