Despite wanting to sleep, Samrat and Tanvi lie awake on their respective beds throughout the night, dwelling deep into the beautiful memories of their shared friendship.
...
After the lavish yet cosy sagai event, most of the guests left for their homes, save for close relatives and friends, and superior officers from the airbase. Abhimanyu and Sameera were in the dimly lit garden outside the villa — the engagement venue, talking to Squadron Leader Uchit Ahluwalia. From a distance Samrat watched the three of them soon discussing defence related matters. Overhearing parts of their discussion caused Samrat to smile wistfully. There was no doubt in his mind, those in the armed forces, their unwavering dedication to the cause of the nation so far, had kept national security intact. He hadn't realised it before, but the thought of him being anything else but an airforce officer had become unimaginable. Just before he could drift more with these thoughts, he saw Tanvi running towards him.
The tables around are all empty. Those at the buffet table are busy cleaning up. There were so many delicacies to eat, Samrat remembered he had only indulged in the bare minimum thanks to Farhan and Tanvi's insistence.
Right behind Tanvi's approaching figure, seated at a table, were Farhan and Isha, lost in their own world, chatting and laughing.
"Sam!" Samrat shifted his gaze towards Tanvi, hearing her voice. She held out her pearl adorned wallet for him to hold. "Hold on to this for me, please!"
He took it and stared at her. "Tumhari wallet? Tum kahan ja rahi ho?"
She threw him a funny look. "Arey, aise sawal ladkiyon se puchte nahin hai! Ladkiyon ke bahut sare secret kaam hote hain! Jiske bare mein woh kisi ko bata nahin sakte! Sambhal ke rakhna mera wallet! Khol ke dekhna mat!"
With that she went, leaving him alone to chuckle to himself. He eyed the wallet again between looking around the place. Farhan and Isha now joined Sameera and Abhimanyu's discussion with the squadron leader.
At least forty minutes passed, and Tanvi didn't return to retrieve her wallet. Seated on a garden bench, Samrat glanced at the wallet. It was pale pink coloured, shiny, lightweight, adorned with pearls. Khol ke dekhna mat! Her words popped into his head, only urging him to fiddle with the closure clip of the wallet. He chuckled again, wondering what the treasure was inside.
It was just a silly thought, and he was not truly about to open the wallet. Tanvi appeared out of nowhere, shrieking, "arey, maine bola tha na khol ke dekhna mat!"
She tried snatching it from his hands, which only encouraged him to tease her. He stood up, holding the wallet high in the air, well out of her reach.
"Dekhe toh zara, aisa kya secret hai ismein..."
He flashed her a grin while she huffed. She tried jumping and catching hold of the wallet in vain. After a few tries, she glared at him.
"Apni height ka galat fayda utha raha hai! How mean, Sam!"
He laughed. It was fun teasing her. Holding the wallet high in the air, he pressed the unlock button. It opened with a single click. Tanvi was ready to pounce. He turned his back on her, pretending to look into the wallet's contents. Okay... there's some cash, a pair of earrings. Welp, he was totally pretending; not on purpose.
"Samrat! How mean! Give me my wallet! Tumse achha toh Farhan! Main bekar mein use par gussa kar gayi, kyunki he refused to hold on to my wallet!"
"Achha? Farhan was your first choice! Usne Mana kiya toh you came to me? Why? Main tumhara dost nahi hu kya? What makes Farhan special?" Samrat didn't know why he said what he said. Just to tease her, yeah. This wasn't a jealous friend's outburst.
"Arey, aisi baat nahi, baba! Farhan was right next to me toh main usko de rahi thi bas!"
Tanvi held her head and sighed. She didn't want Samrat to feel like she was treating him any differently. All her friends mean a lot to her. Samrat is more important because of what transpired with him.
"Achha... accha... while you're distracted... dekhte hai... kya secret chhupaye tumne apne wallet mein? Apne boyfriend ki tasvir toh nahin rakhi tumne?"
Tanvi gaped at Samrat's words. She smacked a fist into his shoulder, but no use. He already looked through the contents of her wallet and now he pulled out a photo—
"See! Boyfriend ki nahi Shahrukh Khan ki tasvir rakhi hai!"
"Shahrukh?" She blinked in confusion as Samrat smirked. "Han Shahrukh is my favourite actor lekin maine uski tasvir kab..."
Tanvi trailed off with a hand clasped against her mouth, another on her forehead. Samrat bopped her head with her wallet.
"Haha, you fool! Tumne uski tasvir nahin rakhi toh kaise ho sakti hai andar? Main mazak kar raha tha! Yeh tumhari aur tumhari doggy ki tasvir hai.... Shamsher is a cute doggy!"
With that, Samrat returned Tanvi's wallet to her, but not before taking a good look at the picture. Tanvi, forgetting that she was supposed to be mad at him, laughed, also taking the picture into her hands.
"Shamsher is cute! Like me!"
"You mean more like handsome?"
"Haha, yes! He's handsome and I'm cute!"
"Oh, you are!"
He pulled her cheek, and they laughed in unison. Just then they heard Farhan's words, and saw him approaching, "well, someone is getting along too well these days!"
Farhan grinned, standing next to Isha, who raised an eyebrow but smiled. Tanvi chuckled, at a loss for words. Samrat shrugged. "It's the same as before. We are all good friends. Hawks mei hum sab achhe dost the na... We were such a great team on and off duty..."
Samrat's smile dropped towards the end. Tanvi and everyone could tell that he was recalling the traitor incident. Farhan quickly quipped, "the same really?! I'd say you two have become close friends than before and so did we all! Isliye jo bhi hua, ache keliye hua."
Isha agreed. Abhimanyu and Sameera, joining the conversation, nodded their heads. Farhan laughed first. Then Tanvi, Samrat and everyone. The evening ended up with bright smiles on all of their faces.
***
Yet another garden party was held at a squadron leader's home around Valentine's. The night was young, the garden all decked up with ambient lights, tables laden with refreshments, a cosy bar corner from which soft music played. The breeze was pleasant. Samrat found Tanvi alone, seated in one chair not far away from the bar, followed her gaze that lingered on the dancing pairs in the distance. She sat alone, watching fondly as Abhimanyu, Sameera, Farhan, Isha paired up to dance to a slow number. Samrat had come to recognise this pattern. He kept her company the last time when this happened and he wanted to do it again. This time desiring to do something more than just sit in silence or chat occasionally.
Adjusting his blazer and the collar of his shirt, he cleared his throat, approaching her, "Tanvi, come on, yaar! Tum yahan baithi ho. Ab party mein aayi ho, ya upanyas sunne?"
Tanvi twisted in her seat and chuckled, glancing at him. "Samrat! Sabko aisa lagta hai ki main aise enjoy nahi kar rahi hun, lekin I am enjoying myself."
"Yaar, party mein aayi ho toh thoda alag sa kuchh karo na. Baithe rehne se kya hoga?"
Samrat shrugged and smiled, lacking the proper words to put his intention before her. Words weren't necessary. He had to act. He held his hand out and turned his expectant gaze on her. Though reluctant, she gave him an encouraging nod and took his hand. She wasn't sure what awaited her; but knew she agreed for his sake. He sounded like himself — the breezy Samrat; he hadn't been like this in 6 months. She smiled as they walked together towards the back entrance of the house, hands clasped. Things were getting better and better.
He paused and twisted around, right outside the threshold. She jovially put out her query,
"So... aise parties mei kya karna chahiye? Answer me, Mr Party Expert."
Samrat chuckled but nodded, gently releasing her hand to brush back his bangs. "You can chat up with new people. Or you can enjoy your solitude, making a drink for yourself..."
Tanvi looked in the direction he pointed — the bar. "You know I don't drink, right?"
He nodded. "Yep. Neither do I. You can always make a fruit punch."
"Sam, mujhe nahi pata kaise banana."
"Really, yaar, you can learn from me..." Samrat chuckled and took her hand again. They arrived at the bar.
"Watch me."
Samrat mixed lots of colourful juices together and brought a perfect fruit punch, garnished with a pineapple on top, and a cutesy umbrella straw. The entire time Tanvi sat there on the bar stool, unable to take her eyes off of him, thinking that his movements were graceful. He was graceful, and quite handsome, ahem.
"See, Tanvi? Easy, right? How's the taste?"
She took a sip of the drink and looked at him. He was leaning over the bar counter, looking suave and confident as ever. Gone was the vulnerable guy broken by his abbu. She smiled happy seeing him being himself, yet could remark something snarky.
"The fruit punch tastes great. Samrat, yeh job tumhe suit karta hai. Pilot ke job se zyada!"
He bopped her on the head and they laughed together. Then they sat there, getting to know each other on a much deeper level. She told him about her life back at home. She was her brother's laadli, while all others viewed her as an innocent flower.
"I know I'm naïve. I've been told you're too good, Tanvi. Too nice. Some of my well-wishers even advised me to change. But that's me, Samrat. How could I change my soul... my aura? I tried to change once foolishly and then decided I'd be myself."
Samrat nodded. He had moved to sit next to her, their elbows touching as they leaned over the counter. "You're fine as you are. I agree you're too sweet for your own good, but you don't need to change. Just because you're innocent doesn't mean you're weak. I think you're amazing..."
He was staring at his drink — a blueberry mocktail, and looked at Tanvi, hearing her giggle. There's a slight rosy tint to her cheeks. She looked like she was catching her breath. "You're amazing too, Sam!"
He smiled, touched by her words. Once he was a confident guy who thought he was "amazing" amongst his "mulk" but that identity had gone. Gone was the flirty guy who was confident around young women. He was clueless for a while. Sure, he embraced his officer identity, which gave him courage and a purpose to keep going forward, but... as a person, he was in a dark place. There wasn't a single positive thing about him anymore that he could appreciate. There might never be.
Off duty, he'd immediately question his self worth. Most times, when he heard people praise him, he'd feel awkward and undeserving. But somehow, when it was Tanvi saying it, he'd feel the urge to believe it was true. He looked at her as she giggled once again, blabbering about all her favourite things from her home.
"My mom and dad thought I was too soft for this job! But my bro backed me, and here I am! I'm managing, right? Shamsher hai na! He cheered on me too, you know? As I trained and studied, he'd sit with me. Ah, those days were amazing. And the present moment is amazing too. I'm just glad to be here."
She babbled on and on. For a moment, Samrat wondered if she was drunk. She was not, for all the drinks they had were non-alcoholic. He didn't know what spurred him on to brush back her bangs falling into her eyes, gaze at her face from a proximity much further than a friend's.
"I'm glad you're here too and we met, Tanvi. In the end, I think I should be glad too that I'm here... despite what all happened."
Tanvi nodded and showed him a compassionate smile. It soothed his heart. After that they talked little. She never once brought up the subject of his past or asked details about his upbringing, though the same had been their discussion, and she revealed a ton about herself. Samrat smiled, thinking getting to know her was fun; she was too sweet to open up to the likes of him. Since it was her nature, he had better make sure she never did this around other guys who were up to no good.
They sat there at the counter when one of the event managing staff arrived, changing the music to a mellow jazz. Samrat hopped off his stool and held out his hand again.
"Let's dance, Tanvi, what say?"
Tanvi chuckled in disbelief. Her mind recalled the instances where she saw Samrat practically asking every other girl he saw at parties to dance with him. Even Sameera, who he pretended he had serious feelings for. That was all a pretense, wasn't it? Lately, he hadn't been into dancing. What brought this on?
"Samrat, you know, mujhe dance nahin aati."
Tanvi flushed after saying that. Admitting she didn't know how to dance was equivalent to the fact that no guy had ever asked her to dance with him. How embarrassing. For a moment, she thought Samrat might look down on her or pass a teasing comment, but he only showed her a soft smile. His outstretched hand remained in place for her to take.
"You can try it out, na?"
"But Sam, I'm comfortable even without it."
"Of course, yaar. You are fine as you are and you don't need to change yourself. But tum thodi koshish kar sakti ho na, to come out of your comfort zone, and explore something new? Warna zindagi kitni boring hai. You don't need to worry about how to dance. I will teach you."
There was something about the way he weaved his words. She couldn't say no. She finally understood the charm that surrounded Samrat. All the girls he had ever asked to dance to could never deny him. For all being different, she was the same. She held his hand; he held it back with surprising strength and warmth.
It was embarrassing for her to put her arms over his shoulders. It was the first time she realised how tall he was. She had to stretch out her arms completely upwards. Her nerves soon melted away, guided by his soothing voice. His touch on her waist was light. He was enjoying himself and didn't mind when she stepped on his toes on multiple occasions.
With a chuckle, he'd instructed her — the right way of twisting her foot, and arm movement. Then, as the jazz waltz changed into a peppy melody, he called for throwing out all rules aside and just twirl around and dance as she pleased. They laughed and danced along. That turned out to be a surprisingly fun night for her. The first party that Tanvi Sharma had so much fun at, in Samrat style.
Since then, they had hung out at several parties, occasionally shared dances and had lots of fun moments. Tanvi even learnt how to make the fruit punches. Work and personal lives were all pleasant. Turbulences, if any, were overcome through strength and convictions as individuals and team. Life felt like it was perfect. She had thought his burdens eased but didn't know she was horribly wrong; the unrest inside him remained. Though it was lightened by the support of his friends and his duties kept him busy, it was still there.
...
Tanvi snaps out of her memories, thinking what made her fall for Samrat. Samrat was right in saying that he wasn't the perfect guy girls usually would go for. Did he think his flirty, playboy self was perfect? Who could say? She was friends with that version of him, and he was pretty tolerable. But the more time she spent with the real him, the more her affections for him grew.
There was no stopping it. It was inspiring how he was moving forward with his life despite everything he had faced. It made her respect him. She loved his work ethic as well. There wasn't a single thing about him she didn't love. Including the dark shady past that he claims he has. She has no way of knowing what he did... what was he before he joined the air force, but it truly didn't matter. Will he even understand? Will he ever let go of his past and embrace the present moment?
"Maybe you swept me away during that first dance. There I was an inexperienced bumpkin who never danced with a guy and you... you had danced with countless girls I bet. But... I remember, you said I was your special girl pal. Just a friend yes. It was an honor to be your close friend..."
Tanvi sighs and shakes her head. "Ugh, I'm being selfish na, Sam. I'm here thinking of all over beautiful friendship moments and... wishing your self hatred will go, so we can be friends again and... yes maybe deep down, I'm wishing we can be more. Because that's the only thing in our way na. If not for it, would you have... loved me? Am I a fool to think like this? You treasure me as a friend, don't you? Is it just friendship? What do you think of me now that you know how I feel? I can't even ask you. We don't even talk... it just hurts me so much... I was the one who drew us apart but, ugh!"
Tanvi realises she's been talking to herself. Thank God she doesn't share her living spaces with another officer. Smacking her head, she prepares to sleep. Thinking won't get her anywhere. Her reality is that she can't be even friends with Samrat, though it pains her. And her duties await her tomorrow.
***
Samrat too stops thinking of the past and curls in his bed under the sheets, turning the AC on to curb the heat. It's 2 am. He has to sleep now.
Recalling his friendship with Tanvi made him feel wistful. He wishes he can be friends with her again, but sees no way for that to happen. Her silly love for him won't bring her any good. So he has to find a way to convince her to let go of it. How does he do that? And after he does that what? He will soon be away from this airbase. Maybe that would resolve this mess? What to do now?
Though his mind races, he stubbornly closes his eyes, trying to calm his thoughts and eventually drifts off to sleep
***
🌀TBC 🌀
🌈📚WC: 2.7k this one's the longest of all cos I couldn't break their memories!
🌈📚Up next: Samrat sees Tanvi asleep. She says something in her sleep that moves him.🥺 Farhan questions Samrat's feelings for Tanvi... the latter denies having any feelings at all. Is it true? 😮💨Then all of a sudden he's made the leader of the Shakti aircraft project. He has the power to make Tanvi hate him... meanwhile Tanvi has her own plans for coping. And the new boss, Samrat, is grating on her nerves. What will happen next?🥺 Stay tuned! V &C !☺️💕🌈 Tysm for reading 😁