Lilah
When Abi lived with us, she and I would leave for church earlier on Sunday mornings. We'd get there just in time to relax and watch as the yard filled with awaiting attendees before everyone congregated inside the chapel. If it wasn't for her, I would've lost my faith in God a long time ago. For a place that is meant to be holy, the gossip mill ran wild and fast. I learned a long time ago to ignore what everyone else was doing and focus on my own salvation, but today it was hard to not glare at the choir of murmurs and gasps of surprise when the Robensons showed up, Theo in toe.
I squirmed in my seat, annoyed by all the attention fixed on Theo, who sported a frown before he'd even crossed the threshold.
He didn't want to be here. I couldn't blame him.
Everyone was already settled on a bench but the service had yet to start. When Mrs. Robenson spotted me, she nudged her husband, her gaze fixed on my empty bench. They began to walk towards me. Thankfully, I was sitting by a window in the right corner of the room. Theo wouldn't have to sit in the middle of the aisle where everyone could gawk at him.
"Good morning, Delilah!" Mrs. Robenson said, her voice low but oozing with joy.
"Hello," I said and picked up my Bible so she could sit down.
She wore a knee-length lavender dress and her hair was up in an elegant bun.
Decked in grey pants and a plaid, light blue button-down shirt, Mr. Robenson sat next to her and upon noticing me, smiled and gave me a friendly wave.
"Your parents aren't here?" Mrs. Robenson asked while Theo moved behind the bench to park himself on my right, cornered by the large bay window and the bench.
"Oh, they're always late so I left a ahead," I said and Mrs. Robenson laughed.
"That's a good technic. Maybe that'll get him moving," Mr. Robenson said pointing at his son.
I turned to look at Theo. He had on black pants and a navy blue, long-sleeved button-up shirt. His hair looked tousled, as if he didn't have much time to get ready. He still looked as handsome as ever.
As the thought came to mind, he turned his head, sending his dad an unamused glare before those deep blue eyes focused on me.
"Hey," he whispered, his eyebrows shooting up as if he was trying to cheer me up with that one word.
"Hi," I said, matching his enthusiasm, which earned me a chuckle.
"By the way, I hope you know he was serious with that threat. So, thanks," he said and my mouth fell open.
"Oh... I-I...," I stammered, unable to formulate a proper apology.
This time, the grin that spread his lips was a mischievous one. I was starting to think he enjoyed watching me squirm.
With an apologetic sigh, I stopped talking when our pastor began to speak.
For the entire service, I was keenly aware of Theo's presence. Stealing glances whenever I could, I was relieved to see he didn't look as bothered as when he came in. That's why I loved corner seats. It made it so much easier to blend in and go unnoticed. The Robensons too got to enjoy about forty-five minutes of anonymity, until Bernice, our church secretary, pulled Pastor Jacobi aside during worship, pointing our way as she whispered something in his ear.
We were sitting back down when Pastor Jacobi stood at the altar, "Before we move on to our message," he began by saying and his gaze focused on us.
"Brothers and sisters, let us welcome back Patrick and Kristen Robenson and their son Theodore. As you all know, the last year has been especially challenging for this family. We were with them in prayer, but it is a blessing to have them among us in person after so long."
The whole church erupted in applause. Patrick and Kristen both stood up and waved briefly before settling back down.
At that moment, I looked at Theo, sure he didn't enjoy the attention bestowed upon him.
Finding him frowning, I was right.
"Are you okay?" I asked already knowing the answer.
He gave me a knowing look and I simply nodded and turned my attention back to our pastor.
"On the bright side, at least you didn't have to stand up," I leaned in to say after a while.
I heard him snort and only then did I dare look at him.
A proud smirk played on his lips, "You're wild for this," he said loud enough for me to hear.
I flashed him a satisfactory smile and for the rest of the service, I knew we'd be ok.
An hour later I was on my way home, following my parents' car and the Robenson's. For the rest of the afternoon, I stayed in my room and completed the few assignments we were already given. Mom signed some consent forms and for the remaining time, I was free to binge Law and Order S.V.U. That was the extent of my plan, until around 6:27 PM, when I received an unexpected call from Mrs. Robenson.
As I listened to her request, my throat grew dry.
"We're just running into some problems at the site and it might take us another hour to wrap things up. I can't reach Theo or anyone at the front desk," Mrs. Robenson rambled, her tone apologetic.
"I can go get him. Don't worry," I told her when she finally paused to breathe.
"Oh, thank you so much, Delilah! I'll send you the address. If you leave now, you'll get there just in time."
Following her advice, I got up and began searching for a bra.
"I'll be out in a few," I said and she sighed, "Thank you, dear. Good-bye."
While I changed into a pink shirt and denim shorts, I thought of what I might see at the rehabilitation center. Theo was there for physical therapy. I had no clue what to expect as I drove. A part of me wanted him to already be done by the time I got there. But the guilt-ridden one wanted me to watch him during his struggle. Because that was the ugly truth of what happened. He'd lost an ability so many of us took for granted, and I head my tongue while others called me a hero and him an responsible jock that threw his future away with one mistake; one that, truly, wasn't his.
The rehab center was deserted when I got there. Only two cars sat in the well lit parking lot. I made my way to the grey, two-story building. Pushing past the two double doors, I found the reception empty. Gazing around the waiting room, chairs were arranged in five rows. On the far left a long corridor led to the rest of the building.
Hesitant, I decided to go down that way. On the walls were pictures of various activities they had here. From aquatic therapy to strength training, the patients here were given a vast array of treatments to choose from.
Further down the hall, I peered into the door window to find a fully equipped gym on the left while on the right were treatment tables. Looking around, I noticed movement in the back but as I was about to open it, I heard a splash a few feet away. The next door also had a window in the center and from here I knew what I would find upon opening it. The indoor pool.
Choosing this time to be bold, I pushed the door and looked around the empty space. The pool was nothing like the one we had at school, but it was still quite impressive. I was still in aw of this place when my gaze fell on a wheelchair as the edge of the pool. Immediately, my heart sank.
That was Theo's chair. Quickly, I ran closer to the pool and then let out a horrified scream when I saw him at the bottom.
"Theo, no!" I screamed before jumping in without a second thought.
Within seconds I was close enough to touch him, but just as quickly, he turned to face me. Needing air, I grabbed him and swam back to the surface. I welcomed the fresh oxygen with a loud gasp and whipped my face before turning to Theo.
"Theo, are you okay? Are you hurt?" I asked as I reached for his face, only now noticing her was wearing a nose clip.
"I'm fine, Lilah," Theo said, his voice nasally.
"Are you sure? Did you fall in?" I asked panicked.
"No, nothing like that," he said, removing the clip which instantly returned his voice to its deeper tone.
"Then what? What happened?" I asked, searching his eyes for the answer he wouldn't voice out.
"Delilah, I'm fine, I just needed a minute after the session."
A muscle ticked in his jaw as he spoke.
"Did– Did something happen?" I stammered.
Theo only chuckled, his jaw tightening again, "Did something happen?" he mumbled with an eye roll before swimming back to add some distance between us.
"Nothing is ever going to happen, Delilah. When will you people get it? I'm stuck like this. There's no getting better," Theo spat the words out like venom and I was frozen, having never seen him like this before.
"Theo, I'm sorry," I said after a long consideration.
His gaze focused on me again and I saw a mix of emotions on his face.
"Why are you even here?" he asked, curiosity twisting his features.
"You... mom... she uh... she asked me... well something came up at the site and..."
"Fucking great," Theo cursed under his breath, stopping my senseless ramble.
"What..." I began asking when someone barged into the room.
"Theo, what the hell? You're not supposed to be in there unsupervised," a man said, his disapproving gaze moving between me and Theo.
"Godamnit, I can fucking swim on my own," Theo quipped, irritated by the man's patronizing tone.
Scanning his outfit, I figured he must be his physical therapist. The logo on his shirt matched the one on the building.
"And who are you?" the man asked, bringing my focus to his face.
"Oh uhm..." I fumbled my words.
"She's my neighbor," Theo said interrupting my train of thought.
When I turned to him, he wasn't even looking at me. He was swimming away.
Floating in the middle of the pool, I watched as the man went around with his chair.
Had he just thrown himself in the water? I wondered as he sat on the steps, waiting to be helped out.
"I got it," I heard him whisper as the man attempted to push him out, but Theo was having none of it.
As he rolled past, his eyes briefly fell on me. I swallowed hard, unsure of what had just happened. All I knew was that Theo was upset, the fact made abundantly clear on our drive home during which he never once looked at me.
At the last intersection, before we entered our street, I stole a glimpse at him. His jaw was still clenched but his head was down slightly, shoulders slumped in defeat. I wanted to say something. Anything that could help bring this morning's smile back on his face, but I couldn't find the words. I didn't know the words that would alleviate his suffering, and that was the worst pain of all.
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