"And now that I know what it is, having you take my last name one day."
***
Lavender.
A flower that is known to have qualities that help fight against the struggles of insomnia, stress or even anxiety.
My face pressed into the soft pillows of Levi's bed, nose catching the gentle notes of lavender that had a scent that could lull me back to sleep. He had used the lavender oil I had gotten Hange and the squad to get for his birthday, evident in his linen. Lying on my stomach, arms folded on top of each other under the pillow my head rested on, Levi's soft even breaths barely audible as he stayed asleep beside me. His legs touching mine, a tender reminder for the both of us that we were both there.
Peeking through slits in my eyelids, my gaze followed the strip of light on the bathroom door cast from the sun that managed to peep through a tiny gap in the curtains. I closed my eyes again, turning over in the bed and bringing the blankets up to my nose. That movement alone seemed to ignite a fierce aching in my intimate area, reminding me of the night before.
The feeling of his lips along my jaw, his mouth sucking at the skin on my neck as he was so deep inside me. The bruising grips of his hands on my thighs and hips, his nails dragging down my back, a painful acknowledgement of his pleasure that didn't seem to bother me at all. Recalling each sound, each feeling, each memory, all my senses return to me. The sensations so addicting, the sounds rewarding, the memories worth reminiscing about in the future. I sigh into the blanket, sinking further into them as my eyes slip closed again.
Just as I did that, Levi's nose let out a heavy exhale as he turned in the bed too, his arm reaching over me under the blanket before he shifted himself towards me, allowing his face to nuzzle into my neck with a small kiss. My own arms lazily reached around him, pressing my body against him, his bare chest emitting a heat that made me feel like I wasn't wearing a shirt at all. My fingers slowly made their way through his hair, rubbing lightly at his scalp earning a low groan from his throat. He was awake.
"Good morning, my love," I murmur, burying my nose in his locks, the name making him hum blissfully. I can't help the weak smile that came across my lips as his other arm reached under me, both his hands sliding under my shirt and lightly caressed at the skin there.
"Good morning, Mon Amour," he returned, volume matching my own.
"How did you sleep?" I whisper, pressing my lips to his head. His breath was hot on my neck, the feeling sending chills down my back.
"Perfectly," he croons softly, his hand sliding down my thigh as he urged it over his own, his legs tangling with mine. I smile, closing my eyes with the intent of falling back to sleep, the scent of him and lavender morphing into one and making me hum in content.
"What are we doing today?" I ask quietly, tone still hushed.
"This," he murmurs in return, his lips felt on my collarbone before he sighed and buried his face in my neck again. I muster up a small chuckle, his hands still rubbing soothingly gentle motions on my back.
"You want to stay in bed all day?" I question, smile still present on my face. He hummed lazily, his hands changing from the rubs to his fingers drumming on my skin lightly.
"We have no squad and I have twenty five years of sleep to catch up on. I'd quite happily spend the next twenty five years here with you," he mutters quietly. The words were heartwarming, and I'd spend the next twenty five years here with him too. I lean into him more, the compelling scent of his hair there to stay as I slowly fall back to sleep, his arms wrapped around me and his face in my neck.
Yeah, this is a life I'd easily fall in love with.
***
Waking up again a few hours later, the sun that peeked through the curtains now across the floor closest to the window. I take a deep breath, stretching as I realise Levi wasn't wrapped around me. I open an eye and find him laying on his back with a book held above his face, his eyes studying each word and letting it all sink into his head. His jawline sharp, his lips plump, his hair splayed perfectly across his pillow as those piercing eyes absorbed each word the book gave. Fuck he was so breathtaking.
"What's that one about?" I ask with a yawn, twisting around and moving closer to him so I was also gazing up at it. He was quick to lay an arm out, his bicep used as a pillow for my head as he tilted the book in my direction so I could see too.
"Honestly, I have no fucking clue," he deadpans making me chuckle. "I think it's some type of action but there's a hint of horror in it. It's weirdly interesting," my eyes following along the lines, eyebrows scrunching in confusion. Reading it, it likely would've made more sense if I had read the book to understand the plot a little more, but one thing about it was admittedly comical.
"Masked killers?" I question, an eyebrow raising as I lift my head and rest my chin on his chest, gazing up at him in amusement and question. He snickered for a beat, reaching over to his nightstand and placing the book down so he could turn his full attention to me. "You're reading a horror action based around masked killers?"
"Coincidence or not, who would've known you'd be the one they call the Ghost of Sina," he retorts making me roll my eyes and push up from the bed and swinging a leg over his waist so I was straddling him. The ache remained, though it was bearable.
"Don't remind me, an alias such as that isn't hard to forget. Bit over dramatic if you ask me," I say with a smirk, hands resting on his abs. His hands quickly found my waist, his eyes shining with lightheartedness as he peered up at me. He shrugged, expression relaxing as he tilted his head to the side a little, the ghost of a smile playing on his lips. "I understand why you hate the title of Humanities Strongest now, it weighs a lot. And I haven't even had the alias for that long!"
"Shut your mouth," he says with an amused huff. I looked down at him, an eyebrow raised a little as I shot out a reply.
"You seemed pretty content with this mouth being wrapped around your cock last night," I remark, the comment making his face instantly flush red and his eyes avert elsewhere. I laugh, reaching a hand under his chin and turning it so he was looking in my direction. Smiling sweetly and tilting my head to the side, his eyes are forced to meet mine once more. I lean down and give him a peck on his lips before sliding off him and my feet meet the ground.
"Where are you going?" He managed to get out as he turned on his side. My eyes scanned the ground for my shorts, finding them discarded near my bra as I didn't bother putting them back on after last nights events.
"For a shower, I'll be back once I'm done," I say pulling the shorts up to my waist and gripping the bra in my hand. I turned to the window, slipping my fingers through and parting them slightly as I peeked out. A gorgeous day outside, though I can't quite find it in me to do anything outdoors today. Not after all everything that had happened yesterday. The loss, the gain, everything in between. Backing away from the window and closing the curtains properly, I turn and find Levi laying on his stomach, arms under his head as he buried his chin in them. Sapphire eyes, watching carefully, following me as I pace towards him and crouch beside the bed, resting my forearms on the mattress.
Looking into his eyes, he seemed at peace. The most at peace someone can be after an expedition such as yesterdays. His expression was relaxed, innocent. His gaze kind, curious. I bring a hand up and place it on his cheek, the skin soft and smooth. He moved a little so he could get an arm out from under his head, placing his own hand on top of mine as he turns his head to kiss my palm, soon returning his gaze to me. I can't help the small smile that overcome my features, my hand tingling from where he pressed his lips.
"Thank you for coming back to me," he whispered, leaning his head into my hand a little more. Leaning forward, I kiss his forehead before pulling away, taking my hand with me. His hand reluctantly released mine, watching as I stood up.
"Always," I reply quietly before walking to the bedroom door and opening it. "I'll be back soon," and I walk out closing the door behind me. The office was chilly, bright with the sun that shone in through the window. Even with the sun, the floorboards were cold and the air had a nip to it. I shiver a little, walking across the room and exiting through to the corridors which were unfortunately even colder than the office. I blew out a breath and break into a jog back to my room, thinking off the hot water in the shower. Warm clothes, and eventually my mind wandered back to the warmth and comfort of Levi and his bed.
I push through my office door, finding it wasn't much different from the rest of the building. Shaking off the cold for a few more moments, I reach the bedroom door and walk through, nearly shitting myself as I find the glass eyed brunette reading a book in my bed. Her eye had been properly tended to, bandages crisp and white. Glasses sitting on the tip of her nose as her eye went from the book to me, an eyebrow raising.
"Oh? And what did you get up to last night?" She asked, placing the book down and putting her hands in between her thighs. I shrug after catching my breath and turning to my wardrobe.
"Nothing, why do you sound like you're suspicious? How's your eye?" I try changing the topic, my tone and volume remaining indifferent and unbothered as my hands rummaged through the contents of my wardrobe. I hear her click her tongue, basically feeling her roll her eye as a wordless remark.
"Sunshine, you practically reek of sex," she retorts with the intent of ignoring the second question, a type of lighthearted repulse laying thick in her words. I furrow my eyebrows as I turn to her, watching as she stood up from the bed.
"Okay, one, what the fuck does sex even smell like? And two, what made you think that?" I question. She put a finger in the air as she walked toward me, slowly lowering it so it was pointing at me.
"You smell like sex. And how I came to that conclusion?" She put on a thinking face, eye scanning the ceiling as though it had the answer. "Perhaps it was the fact you walked in here with your bra in hand and your neck covered in hickeys, my dear," her raised eyebrow made an appearance again. My eyes widened, hand automatically rising to my neck as I realise I completely forgot about the marks Levi had left last night.
"Okay, this time you cannot blame me for trying to hide it-" I begin.
"Terribly, might I add," she cuts in. It was now my turn to roll my eyes before I wave her away and turning back towards the wardrobe.
"Regardless, our sex life doesn't concern you," I reply.
"Can't I know any details?!" She whines and I let out an exaggerated sigh.
"Han, as much as I love you, no. No you can't," I state firmly, folding some clothes over my forearm. She groaned loudly, a sound that only expressed her defeat.
"I must know one thing-" she starts before I shook my head. "Only one thing, and it's not even bad I swear!" Another sigh came from my mouth as I face her with a bored expression.
"I swear if this is something that's going to earn you a slap, I'd suggest you walk away," I threaten as she waved at me dismissively with a smile on her face.
"Is he more marked than you are?" Her gaze was daring, the smile she had turning sly and mischievous as she awaited my answer. I open my mouth only for a small laugh to come instead of words. I shook my head in disbelief, raising my look back up to the brunette before me.
"I'd like to think so," I reply casually as she let out a laugh.
"That's what I like to hear!" She exclaimed. Her giddiness was there, but there was something about her that was off. Her eye met mine, and there it was.
The light in her eye was dull, barely there. I feel my heart sink a little at the sight, the room quietening down a little as I feel my expression fall a little. I stepped toward her, taking her into an embrace that only caught her off guard. She physically tensed up under my touch, freezing in her spot. Hange stood like that for a long moment, her breathing eventually coming back to her as her arms slowly reached around me. Her embrace was weak at first, then her fingers grasped at my shirt and her arms tightened around me, her nose in my hair.
Nothing was to be said. In a moment as vulnerable as this one, actions were needed more than words, the emotions felt in the moment not only clung to us, but lingered in the air too. We needed this, she needed this. A long journey from Rose to Maria, back to Sina and then home again, she would be so exhausted physically and mentally. She had barely any time to rest, despite Levi and I trying to convince her to stay at Headquarters for the night just to get some rest.
My hands ran up and down her back in soothing motions, a deafening silence stuck between the two of us as all I could hear was our combined breathing. For the most heartbreaking reason, this embrace was one that only emitted a sense of comfort.
"I can't believe they're gone," she murmured, her voice muffled by my hair. I say nothing in return. "Just like that, we lost them. Was their sacrifice worth what we got out of it? Yes. Would I do anything to change the outcome?" Her answer remained unspoken. I know she would, and she didn't need to say that for me to understand what was going on in her head, because I would too. I'd do anything to bring any of them back because the sacrifice was close to never truly worth it. More information on the titans is crucial, but I'd rather the secrets would stay that way if it meant having more time with those we lost.
"We'll be okay, Han. We always do," I return quietly, my own voice muffled by her shoulder. She didn't say anything for a while after that, only keeping herself wrapped in my arms the same way she kept me in hers. It was bittersweet, a moment like this. There was no other way to describe it. The sweetness in the action but the bitterness in the intention behind it. She pulled away after some time, keeping her hands on my shoulders as she looked me up and down. A tightlipped smile overcome her features as her eye met mine again.
"What would we do without you, Sunshine?" She whispered. I gave a small smile back, feeling the atmosphere lighten up a little at the small remark. She took in a deep breath, eye darting to the door behind me, the door that lead to the bathroom. "Eren and Mikasa have their punishment for going against Levi. Ten nights in cells in the Capital, they'll be released in time for the medal ceremony that will happen in two weeks." The medal ceremony. I forgot there was such thing, events like that only really happened when the scouts returned from their missions successful though. So they're rather easy to forget when we hadn't come home victorious before yesterday.
"The others? Armin? Does Armin have to undergo some type of trial due to his obtention of the Colossal Titan?" I question, tilting my head. She shook her head in response, turning to the bedroom door and pacing toward it. My eyes only follow her, awaiting a verbal explanation.
"He's already proven himself an ally to humanity, a trial for him is unnecessary regardless of his gain of power," she replied. I shrug in understanding. She was right, a trial wasn't a must for him if he'd literally gave his life for humanity. "I'm going to go take a nap, both you and Levi keep it down, won't you? The innocence of my ears mustn't be tarnished," she smirked as she turned away and headed towards the office door. I roll my eyes, walking into the bathroom with a grin of my own on my face.
"No promises," I respond before closing the door and enjoying a nice hot shower before heading back and returning to the warmth of Levi and his bed.
***
yo i lowk was MIA for a bit there 🤣
n e ways, short chapter! i can promise you rn all the season 4 chaps will prolly be double the length of these ones (so looking forward to writing those ones 😍)
hope you enjoyed!
aishiteru!!!!
jazz<3